Chapter 29 Valentina
VALENTINA
I’m dying inside.
God, what Cristian has had to endure, and for what?
For protecting me? For loving me?
He’s forced to lose everything, nearly his life.
"Alessandro, I need a moment with him. To say goodbye."
My brother scoffs. "Are you insane? The two of you have already risked everything with your indiscretion. I can't allow—"
“You’re the fucking Don! You can allow whatever you want!” I’ve never spoken to anyone like that. I don’t think I’ve ever used the F-word before. But I’m sick of this. Sick of his enforcing his power and then acting like he has none when it comes to this family.
At first his eyes widen, and then they narrow as he scowls. “You’ve put this family in a precarious situation.”
"What more do you want from me? I'm marrying to save this family. I'm giving up any hope of happiness. I'm…" I begin to press my hand to my stomach but catch myself before revealing too much. If Alessandro knew, he might kill Cristian regardless of my pleas.
Instead, I take a steadying breath. "Do you understand what my life will be like with Maksim? The things he'll do to me? The ways he'll hurt me? Rape me. Beat me." Maybe if I’m explicit, he’ll understand.
Alessandro's face hardens, but I see a flicker of something in his eyes. Guilt, I hope.
"I'm not asking for much. I’d rather you give it out of your love for me, assuming you still have a heart. Because if I have to threaten to sabotage this wedding, I will.” I step toward him, wanting my brother, not my Don.
“Just a few minutes to say goodbye to someone I…
" I falter, afraid to speak the word "love" in front of my brother.
"Someone who matters to me. You're taking everything else. Give me this small mercy."
The silence stretches between us, and I can’t breathe as I wait.
"Ten minutes," he finally says. "In the cottage. It’s empty and private enough that no one should see you," he says of the house on the property that Katerina used to live in.
His eyes narrow. "But Valentina, this is the last concession I'm making. After this, you commit fully to your role as Maksim's bride. No more rebellion. No more schemes."
I nod, relief washing through me. "Thank you."
"Don't thank me," he mutters, turning away. "Just be discreet."
I slip from his office, pulling my phone out to text Cristian to meet me at the cottage, but to be stealthy about it.
I make my way there, realizing this is the last time I'll ever see Cristian.
I enter the small residence still furnished from when Katerina and Enzo lived here.
Now they’re with Luca living happily ever after.
I’m jealous of them all.
Resentful of this life I was born into.
And filled with self-loathing that I’m not brave enough to go after the man I love.
I hear movement at the back of the cottage, and Cristian appears, apparently sneaking in from the side hidden by trees.
The moment he sees me, he stops and just waits. I don’t know what to say. I can’t say goodbye.
“You don’t have to do this,” he finally says. “I know people who could help us disappear.”
“I do. I made a promise.”
He nods. “I should have made you make a promise to me.”
It occurs to me that he made a promise to me.
To protect me.
Again, I’m coming out of this looking worse and worse.
More like Alessandro.
“I’ll go kill Maksim. I don't care if Alessandro executes me for it afterward."
"Don't say that." My voice breaks as I rush to him, touching his face, memorizing every line, every angle. "I couldn't bear it if you died because of me."
"And I can't bear to watch you marry him." His hands tighten on mine. "I'm in love with you, Valentina. Not just lust or infatuation. I love you. And our child."
My breath catches as he places his hand gently on my stomach.
"I would rather die knowing I tried to save you than live knowing I did nothing while he destroyed you piece by piece." He presses his forehead to mine. "Let me protect you. It's all I've ever wanted to do."
I want to say yes. I want to give him hope and love and everything he wants for us.
But I know our world too well to know that he wouldn’t live long, and then I’d be without him in the world.
The guilt I have now would be a million times worse if he died.
"I can't let you do that." I press my palm against his chest, feeling his heartbeat. "I'd rather live in hell knowing you're safe somewhere than spend one moment of happiness that ends with your blood on my hands."
“I’m good at what I do—”
“I know.” I smile, because I do know. “But you’re not immortal against an army. Two armies. Plus, the risk isn’t just you. It’s the baby. That’s all that matters now, right? Not me. Not you."
“Right.” He glances down at my belly, and I hate the devastation I see in his eyes.
"Please. If you love me, if you love our child, you need to leave New York."
Cristian's jaw clenches. "You're asking me to abandon you both."
"I'm asking you to survive." I cradle his face in my hands. "I'll contact Luca. He's made a life away from all this. He'll help you, give you work."
“I’m sure Alessandro won’t like that.”
I smile. “It will make Luca want to do it all the more. Luca marches to his own drum, you know that. My brother respects loyalty and strength. You have both. He'll understand when I explain."
Cristian turns away, running his hands through his hair in frustration.
I can see the war inside him.
The protector battling the pragmatist.
The man who loves me fighting against the soldier who understands impossible odds.
"What about the baby? Our child will call another man father."
The thought breaks me as I can see it breaks him. "I'll find a way to keep the baby safe from him. I promise."
When he turns back, his eyes glisten. "I can't just walk away from you. From us."
"You have to." I step close again, placing his hand over my stomach once more. "For us."
He pulls me against him then, crushing me to his chest, and his body shudders in agony. We stand like this for long minutes.
"I'll go," he finally whispers against my hair. "But Valentina, this isn't over. I won't give up finding a way back to you both. I swear it."
I nod against his chest even as I want to tell him to forget us.
As long as he goes now, that’s what’s important.
Maybe I can get Luca to keep him too busy to think about all that he’s lost.
It’s stupid.
No amount of busy will make me forget Cristian.
His lips find mine, and the world falls away.
This isn't like our other kisses, flirty, passionate, forbidden, and sometimes filled with hope.
This is a goodbye mixed with desperation and grief. We're both shattering.
"I can't do this," I whisper against his mouth. "I can't say goodbye to you."
His answer is to kiss me harder, deeper, his hands cradling my face with a tenderness that makes my heart splinter further.
I press myself against him, memorizing the solid warmth of his body, the way we fit together.
Something shifts between us, the grief transforming into a different kind of urgency.
I don't want our last memory to be of tears. I want to remember joy, pleasure, connection.
I want proof that for a brief, shining moment, we truly belonged to each other.
"Cristian," I murmur, my hands sliding beneath his shirt, feeling the warmth of his skin. "I need you. One more time."
His breath catches, and he pulls back just enough to search my eyes.
Whatever he sees there must answer whatever he’s looking for.
He sears his lips to mine, and I pour everything I have into the kiss.
We shouldn’t do this.
Alessandro certainly didn’t give his okay for me to make love to Cristian, but to hell with him.
Cristian lifts me onto the small table against the wall. Our movements are frantic because we only have moments to fill a lifetime.
His hands slide up my thighs, pushing my dress higher, and I work at his belt with shaking fingers.
There's an urgency driving us both.
Not just the time limit but something deeper.
As if by joining our bodies, we might somehow forge a connection that distance and circumstance can't break.
“I don’t have a condom,” he says sheepishly.
For once, I laugh. “I don’t think it matters now.”
He drops his forehead against mine. “Right.”
“Cristian?”
He lifts his head, his gaze focused on me.
“I love you.” I owe him the truth since he’s bared all, risked all for me.
His breath hitches. “I love you.” He kisses me fiercely as he positions himself between my thighs. "Look at me.” His gaze holds mine, intense and burning with emotion. "I want to see you."
When he pushes into me, I gasp, clutching his shoulders.
The physical pleasure is immediate and intense, but the emotional connection threatens to shatter me completely.
His gaze never leaves mine as he moves, each thrust is like he’s saying he loves me, that he never wants me to forget, as if I could.
"Remember this," he says, his voice rough. "When you're with him, remember that you're mine. That you've always been mine."
"Always." I wrap my legs around him, pulling him closer, deeper.
Our pace quickens, both of us chasing not just release but something more elusive.
Something written in our souls that will last a million lifetimes. Something that is only ours.
No Maksim, no Alessandro.
Just Cristian and me and the life we've created together.
The pleasure builds, intensifying with each movement until it becomes almost unbearable.
I bite his shoulder to keep from crying out as waves of sensation crash through me.
“Fuck… Valentina… fuck.” He comes, but in his words I hear the grief, not the joy. He buries his face against my neck. His body shudders against mine.
For a precious moment, we stay like this, still joined.
His hand moves to rest gently on my stomach, and I cover it with my own, both of us silently acknowledging the tiny life there, the piece of him I'll carry forever.
He kisses me and when he pulls back, he cradles my face in the palms of his hands. "I love you. Never forget.”
"I love you too," I answer, knowing these might be the last true words I ever speak.