Chapter 14 #3
“Everyone at the Attic started asking questions when the dogs were taken out! I came to see what was up!” he yells back, and everyone stays quiet for a minute.
Daisy must sense my rising anxiety because she scoots a little closer, and even though she lays her head back down on my belly, she continues to growl lowly.
The sensation feels strange on my stomach, but I’m not daring to move her.
“Come on, you two can look with me upstairs.” Alex gestures with his hand, and even though they follow, Satori takes a look back at me like he’s expecting someone to dish out repercussions—like he's mad at me for worrying everyone.
It instantly reminds me of my father, and I unwillingly shiver.
He used to always give me the same looks when CPS would leave our house, and I knew exactly what was coming once they were gone.
The same feeling flushes over me, and now I'm sure I never want to be alone with Satori.
No matter how much I want it to be, this isn’t a false alarm. Damien would never be out of reach, and he certainly wouldn’t make himself this hard to find. If he were planning something and had to have his location off, someone would know about it, and yet, everyone is drawing blanks.
A few moments later, they come trampling back down the stairs, and somehow, Alex looks even angrier than he did before.
His face is red, and I don’t miss how he clenches and unclenches his fist. I’m somewhat afraid that he’ll lash out at them.
Kade’s worry has only deepened, and Satori’s annoyance has obviously multiplied.
He raises his hands to get everyone’s attention, and I hate how we all look to him.
“Alright, everyone. Take a deep breath. I’m not sure this is as serious as it’s being made out to be,” Satori says in a deprecating tone, and my stomach drops.
“What the hell are you talking about, Satori?” Carter asks, clearly angered. Kade looks up at Satori with a curious glance, but then steps away like he doesn’t agree with what he’s about to say.
“Well, to me, it looks like he left on his own.”
My whole world comes crashing down around me, and my heart pounds against my ribs.
I want to scream and throw my fists out into the open air, or stomp my foot like a child having a tantrum, but I’m frozen.
It’s like a door that’s been locked in my mind for so long is starting to creep open, and my worst fears have come back to haunt me.
“Have you lost your—”
“Listen to me.” Satori cuts Zeke off, and just when I think my brother might lunge at him, Carter reaches over me to grip his shoulder—stopping him from actually doing it.
“Think about it. Why else would his clothes be packed up? His phone is off, which is apparently a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence for him…and the location on his motorcycle is inactive? Since when does that fucking happen?”
“It could’ve easily been turned off by someone else!” Zeke yells, and my chest puffs out some. There’s just a tiny spark of confidence that flickers at my brother’s assumption, because at least that means I’m not the only one that thinks this is crazy.
“Oh yeah, tough guy? Like who?” Satori yells back.
“You, mother fucker!” Zeke jerks away from Carter’s hold and steps up to Satori, but he doesn’t wait for Zeke, and meets him halfway instead.
Daisy starts barking aggressively and rises on all fours.
She moves to stand over me sideways, with two paws on each side of my body, like she’ll throw herself into the mix if they get too close.
“Yeah? And how the hell would I do that?” Satori yells back.
“Alright, you two. Calm down! I’m checking the activity log now!
” Carter yells back and circles the couch to sit next to me.
He lays his laptop on the coffee table, and after some manic typing, he abruptly stops.
His eyes remain glued to the screen, like he’s stuck in place, and it’s when his breathing deepens that my stomach plummets.
“Carter?” I call to him curiously, and when he doesn’t turn back towards me, I scoot forward a little more—literally on the edge of my seat.
Daisy doesn’t move, though, and I find myself leaning into her strong form.
He audibly gulps, and when he looks back up, it’s not at me.
My stomach flips. He looks at Zeke like he can’t bear to look at my face.
“It says Damien was logged in, and the log says he’s the one that terminated his location…
” he says so softly, so lowly, that I’m not sure I heard him right.
There’s absolutely no way what he just said is true.
The urge to crash out and scream comes back, and I just want to throw that damn laptop across the room.
It can’t be right.
“Bullshit! Let me see that!” Zeke storms back over and jerks Carter’s laptop off the table before I get the chance. His face morphs into one of disbelief as he reads the screen, and then like a snap of the finger, he drops the laptop and moves swiftly in Satori’s direction.
Hatred turns his pupils to points, and it’s as if something otherworldly takes over my brother.
“What the fuck did you do?!” Zeke screams, and lunges at Satori.
I instinctively stand up, not sure whether to jump out of the way or into the action.
Daisy swiftly hops down to stand at my side, but before I can move anywhere, Carter is in front of me.
Alex is diving after Zeke while Satori moves in sync to buck back at him, but Kade and Darnell are already holding him back.
“I didn’t do anything! I’m pointing out facts!
Everything adds up to him leaving!” Satori screams back at him, and the room comes to a halt.
I barely register the garage door opening and closing until Ser runs up to me and wraps her arms around my shoulders.
It’s like she’s barely here, though. Her touch is only as effective as a ghost’s.
I can hardly feel it. Everyone is standing still now, with nothing but heaving breaths taking over the space.
Satori jerks out of their hold, like their attempts to hold him meant nothing, and continues his rant.
“I know that’s hard for you to hear, but maybe you all needed a neutral pair of eyes!
Is there any evidence that says he was hurt or taken? Anything at all?”
The room goes silent again. Shadows overtake the living room, and the floor shakes beneath me.
Serena tightens her grip to hold me up, and then she speaks softly into my ear as she pulls me close.
Soothing words caress the shell of my ear, but it does little good.
She gently sets me back on the couch. It feels even colder than it did before, and that tingly feeling comes back full force.
He left me?
No.
No.
No. No. No.
There’s no way.
He would never leave me. I know that deep down.
Not after everything we’ve been through, not with how much we love each other, and he certainly wouldn’t leave our unborn child.
I don’t care what Satori says. I don’t care what that fucking computer says.
Every bone in my body is screaming that Satori is wrong, but then there’s the paranoia that lies beneath them.
A high-pitched ringing suddenly fills my ears, and the room starts to sway.
My pulse is racing, and I can feel it thumping away beneath my skin.
How could someone get into the house, and we were none the wiser?
There were no camera notifications, and they were never shut off.
Plus, how could someone log into the system under Damien’s name? It requires his handprint…
“It’s going to be okay, Ash. Just take a deep breath,” Ser whispers in my ear and runs a hand over my hair.
I don’t even notice I’m borderline hyperventilating until she spoke to me.
At the snap of a finger, everything goes from completely still to moving at lightning speed.
Her hand leaves my back for a moment, and I shiver as an ice-cold fabric is draped across my neck and shoulders.
Zeke is handing Serena a bottle of water, Carter comes back into view, and Alex is standing in front of Satori like if he took another step, he’d pummel him.
“Maybe you guys should take this conversation outside.” I know she directed that statement towards everyone that isn’t me, but I respond anyway and shake my head.
“No. There’s nothing to talk about,” I say quietly, still trying to process what they want to discuss.
“Ashia, I know how difficult this must be, but you need to try and think clearly here…” Satori says to me in that degrading ass tone, and I snap my gaze to him.
“What did you say about him last night?” There’s a perfectly-still moment as he tries to work his way around my question.
It’s so quiet and stagnant that I could hear a pin drop if one fell.
His eyes narrow, but not in a confused manner.
It’s almost like he’s surprised I had the guts to ask him that question.
“I’m not sure what—”
“After my brother bashed your face in, what did you say about my husband?” I ask again, and it’s back to silence.
Crickets. Mister ‘my balls are bigger than yours’ has nothing to say now?
“Let me make myself very clear. I don’t give a single damn about what that computer says, or what our bedroom looks like.
Damien would never leave me.” I turn my head to Darnell and look back and forth between him and Zeke.
“Get any evidence from here that you can. Leave nothing unchecked.” I shakily stand, having to hold onto Serena to step without falling over, and steadily walk with her towards the back door.
Daisy follows suit, and her body presses against my legs like she’s leading me.
They continue to argue as I walk away, and I can’t bring myself to care about anything they’re saying. There’s only one person that’s missing here besides Damien, but I know exactly what calling him would mean. He’s exactly like my husband in two ways.
The first is their devotion to their families.
The second is the darkness they’ll unleash to protect them.
We make it outside to the back porch, and even the sun isn’t as bright. The air tastes stale, like it hasn’t touched life in hours. My hands shake as I pull my phone from my pocket, and when I find the correct contact, I don’t hesitate to press the green button.
“Who are you calling?”
I don’t answer Ser right away. I’m not sure that I can. I’m still breathing heavily, and the tightness in my chest only grows stronger with every ring of the phone. Finally, it clicks, and his burly voice slides through the phone like our saving grace.
“Ashia? This is a surprise. Is everything alright?”
I take in a trembling breath and swallow harshly to suppress a sob.
The relief alone from hearing his voice is overwhelming, and while I know I’m about to unleash a demon from hell’s gates, I also know it’s completely necessary.
The monster that’s akin to Damien’s has been buried for so long, and as selfish as it is, even if it’s never tamed again, we need it.
“John…” My voice cracks. How do I tell him that Damien is in trouble? That I don’t have any idea where he is? How am I supposed to tell him that his last living child is missing?
“Ashia,” he says grimly, like he already knows what I’m going to say.
I hiccup softly, still trying to contain my cries.
It hurts. It all fucking hurts. My entire body is radiating with this pain, and I don’t know where it’s coming from.
It’s like it starts in my chest and then slithers its way through my veins.
“Are you at home? Do you have someone with you?”
“Yes, sir,” I choke out.
“John? What’s the matter?” I hear Damien’s mom speak in the background. Her voice is soft and already filled with worry, like she can already feel John’s demons gearing up for battle.
“Listen very carefully, Ashia. Do not leave that house until I arrive. Do you understand?”
“Yes, sir.”
“Be there soon.” The call ends, and I pull the phone away from my ear.
My eyes fall onto the background, and my heart breaks when I see our picture.
He’s holding me so tenderly, like his entire world fit in his arms, and I crumble at the sight.
A flood of despair crashes with a wave of anger, and they clatter together inside my chest. My stomach falls while my heart is being torn apart, and it feels like my lungs have pushed out every breath I’ve ever taken.
He's gone.
My heaving chest pulls in a harsh gust of air, and my throat strains as I release a wail into the forest behind our home.
It burns, but the pain is nothing compared to this heartache.
It’s like every beat of my heart is a stab with a knife, and no other pain could ever compare.
I can barely feel Ser’s arms as she hugs me from behind, and her skin feels icy, like I’ll never embrace someone’s touch again.
This world has no warmth left for me. It’s nothing but a wasteland.
I’m slowly dying in the cold and soulless void that only exists when I don’t have Damien, and I can already feel myself start to wither away.
In the blink of an eye, I found out exactly how Zeke feels.
And I’m not sure I can bear it.