On the Road #3
“One thing,” Anthony said softly. “One thing a day. You can save it for tonight, but think about it. I mean, the first time I tried to kiss you, you tried to pawn me off on Chance. What’s so awful about Reg that he doesn’t get a kiss at sunset?”
A subtle lightening allowed Reg to breathe. “I did get a kiss at sunset,” he said, remembering the night before.
“Yeah,” Anthony sighed. “You did. I’d like for you to have kisses every day and all the time. Think about it. One thing that’ll help us get there.”
“Okay,” Reg agreed, not even sure that was his own voice. “I’ll think about it.”
“Good,” Anthony told him. “And what’s wrong with your full name?”
Reg snorted. “What isn’t? I mean, even with the whole family name thing, Registrar? My God. I would have taken Oxford or Fellowship or Emeritus. Emeritus would have been fine—Em for short. Professor as a middle name. But Registrar? It’s like being named ‘DMV Clerk.’”
“Yeah, Reg, but Julliard is a school for the arts. I mean, you’re the only artist in the family—it’s like fate.”
“But nobody calls me Jules, do they?” Reg sulked.
“Because we live in Bakersfield, California, and boys named Julie don’t live long on the playground.”
Reg’s chuckle caught even him by surprise. “Are you kidding? By the time Val came out, self-defense was the family industry. Nobody picked on us, because we’d wipe the floor with them.”
Anthony chuckled too. “Ha. I bet you’re right. You and Chance, back-to-back?”
Reg shook his head. “No. Chance was… well, you’ve met him, right?
I mean, he had bullies, but he sort of… I don’t know.
Didn’t acknowledge their existence. I mean, Dean and I were clocking his bullies behind his back, and Chance was like, ‘Oh, Ricky didn’t beat me up in gym class today.
That was nice.’” Reg shook his head. “It’s like, you know that joke about the optimist and the pessimist? ”
“They give the pessimist the nice toys and the birthday cake and the optimist the barn full of horseshit?” Anthony hazarded. Everybody had heard this joke.
“Yeah—and the pessimist was all depressed because the toys were all broken and the birthday cake gave him a stomachache and whine, whine, bitch, bitch, right? And the optimist was knee deep in horseshit, shoveling out the barn, screaming, ‘There’s got to be a pony somewhere!’”
Anthony said the punchline along with him, and Reg appreciated that.
“Yeah, I know that joke,” Anthony said. “What’s that got to do with—”
“Chance would find that pony and then go invite the pessimist for a ride and then go offer to fix all his toys and make him a better birthday cake, the whole time ignoring the fact that the pessimist was a complete asshole who didn’t deserve Chance’s attention.”
“Sounds like even a pessimist would warm up to Chance Royal,” Anthony said, sounding impressed.
“Yeah,” Reg said. “I mean, it would be one thing if he was spoiled and rude or mean or even took us all for granted, but school’s not easy for him, and I know he studies his ass off. And he’s grateful. He really is the best of us.”
“No,” Anthony said softly. “Not the best. He’s good—he may even be golden. But I think it’s hard to find the best of a family that’s sort of collectively the best.”
“Smooth,” Reg said, reluctantly impressed.
“Yeah, I know your weakness,” Anthony preened. And he did. Reg couldn’t duck a compliment that was aimed at his family. “You people are easy to love. Including you, Emeritus.”
Reg grunted. “That ship has sailed,” he said primly. “Let’s stick to Registrar.”
“No, no. I think your parents missed the boat. I think Emeritus would have suited you fine.”
“Not for somebody who’s making his living off a tech certificate and his family’s contacts,” Reg said dryly.
Anthony knuckled his forehead. “Reg, you built a SCIF in the family den—and then built a secret tunnel under the front yard while your parents were on vacation. I… it’s not only that you’re selling yourself short, you’re dangerously selling yourself short.
If we wake up one day and somebody has disappeared you, we need to know if it’s because you stood up for the little guy or because you accidentally dropped a dime on mobsters on the Tor, and that’s not going to happen if you’re all, ‘Oh, I’m just an IT tech with delusions of grandeur. ’”
“Nobody’s going to disappear me,” Reg dismissed, but Anthony knuckled his forehead again.
“We’re going to change the subject. I’m listening to a hilarious audiobook, and we need to visit that on the sound system. I’ll even back it up to the beginning. It’s only a few chapters. It’ll get us to—where are we going today again?”
Reg remembered Ilia and his adult reckoning of an uncertain world.
“I thought I’d ask the guys,” he said. “I mean, going through Redding will get us there sooner, but the turnoff for San Francisco and the Bay Area is in an hour, and the coastal highways are really pretty.” He shrugged.
“I mean, we’ve got camping equipment in the back, and the back seat clears out so we can sleep in the SUV if it’s raining.
Like I said—see what the kids want to do. ”
“Fair,” Anthony said. “Let’s listen to the book until it’s time to make a decision. It’ll be fine.”