Chapter Twenty #2
“Well of course, dear, but the drivers don’t do a lot of drinking during the day. I know you find that hard to believe.” Her mother’s voice went from softly explaining what she took as fact, to a hint of condescending.
“Right.” Luna didn’t bother arguing. Besides, if memory serves, the drivers her mother had brought home drank on their days off and were loaded on speed or cocaine during the day.
“Once they cut my hours, I had a hard time paying rent.”
“You had a roommate, right?” Luna asked.
Karen rolled her eyes. “Maureen. Useless. I was floating her for months. As soon as I moved in, she started having all these issues. A sprained ankle that she couldn’t work on.
Then she thought she had carpal tunnel from stacking plates at the restaurant.
As long as I was paying her share, everything was fine.
Then when I started having trouble, she was in my face threatening to kick me out. ”
Luna felt her jaw tightening.
Same old story.
Different players.
“That sounds terrible,” Luna said, believing almost none of what she’d just heard.
The negativity that always accompanied the time spent with her mother was so quick to arrive, Luna hardly recognized it.
Yet as she started to map out what her mother would say next, Luna felt the familiar walls of her past self closing in.
The child born into toxicity, lies, and the illusion of safety and love that had always been and will always be conditional.
As those defensive walls surrounded her, Luna pulled out the only weapons she had against them.
Smile, nod, and remind herself that the time spent with her mother would only be temporary. Stay quiet, agree . . . and tiptoe around her mother’s exposed nerves.
“Is that why you moved to Alabama?” Miley asked.
“That and Cody. I’ve always been a sucker for blue eyes.”
Luna sat back and listened to her mother ramble on about the latest. Cody was a long-haul truck driver.
Mostly a north, south route, but on occasion he’d go from the East Coast to the West. Two times divorced, with kids that lived with their mother on the panhandle of Florida.
“He’s a good dad,” Karen told them. “Drives to Florida twice a month to see his children.”
Kids that were still in school.
Cody was younger.
When Luna asked how much younger, her mother refused to answer.
Much like the story about the roommate, Luna instantly doubted the truth her mother preached. Cody was the earth and the stars.
“What happened with Cody?” Luna asked.
The expression on her mother’s face twisted. “He started drinking a little too much.”
Luna looked directly in her mother’s eyes and said nothing.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Karen said.
“I’m not thinking anything,” Luna lied.
Karen leaned forward and lowered her voice. “I’m nobody’s punching bag. I learned my lesson with Paul.”
When was that? The first time? The second time? The time he beat the shit out of Ash, and you still went back? Or the time when Paul . . .
Luna’s heart pounded in her chest with a force that felt as if it was going to jump out of her body.
“When did this happen?” Miley asked.
“Couple weeks ago,” Karen said on a sigh. “I thought it was best to come back here and reset.”
Luna’s brain glitched on her mother’s words. Karen didn’t have an end date to when she was leaving. And that fact felt like claws digging deep into Luna’s throat.
Karen picked up her oversize purse and plopped it on the table and started digging through it.
She pulled a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from the depths of her bag and started to tap a cigarette free of the box.
The second she put the thing in her mouth, Luna placed a hand over her mother’s. “We don’t smoke, Mom. I’d appreciate it if you’d do that outside.”
A flash of irritation was quickly replaced with a fake smile. “Oh, of course, honey. Habit. I used to smoke in this house all the time. I keep trying to quit. I’ve actually cut down a lot. Only about a half a pack a day. Sometimes less than that.”
Luna nodded like one of those bobblehead dolls fashioned after baseball players.
“Thanks,” Luna said without so much as a “good job” to anything else her mother had said.
Karen scooted her chair back and squinted her eyes with a tiny laugh. “I’ll take my dirty habit outside.”
“Thanks, Karen,” Miley said, too.
As soon as Karen was out the back door, Miley grabbed Luna’s hand with both of hers.
“I’ll try and push my schedule around so I can be here.”
“Don’t be ridiculous. Besides, it doesn’t sound like she has anything to go back to.”
Miley glanced over her shoulder toward the door Karen had just slipped out of. “Do you think she’ll try and move in?”
“I can’t think about that right now. You know how she’ll act if I ask her.”
Miley unfolded from her chair. “I’m going to let your brother and sister know she’s here and give them a heads-up on what she’s said. There’s no reason for you to shoulder the burden of your mother by yourself.”
Luna didn’t argue. “Thank you.”
Alone in the kitchen, Luna looked at her watch. It had been less than two hours since Nate had dropped her off.
This was not how this day was supposed to go.