Chapter Thirty
Luna turned her head from side to side taking in her reflection in the mirror. Her jaw had hurt for a week. When the bruising was at its worst, she didn’t leave the house. The last thing she wanted was other people staring and wondering who was beating on her.
The last of the yellow green hue was gone, the laceration on her hand had closed, but was still a red mark on the side of her palm.
She’d caught it on a knife but hadn’t thought quick enough to grab it.
Then again, who was to say that Cody wouldn’t have used it against her.
She called the scar her reminder. Something she’d see every day to remind her to never trust her mother again.
Her foot took the biggest hit.
Dirty cowboy boots versus bare feet were not a great combination. Luna still wore a hard sole shoe to keep from bending the fracture of two bones in said foot two weeks later. A course of antibiotics took care of whatever festered on the bottom of the boot that did the damage.
It took two days for her to get out of bed, and everyone in the house treated her like a porcelain doll that was going to break.
No one brought up Karen. Not what happened to her, if she’d gone home . . . nothing. And Luna didn’t ask.
All she knew was that when she walked by the guest room her mother had been using, all her personal belongings were gone. Soon after, Ash and Nate were purging the room of furniture and prepping the walls for paint.
What had started out as eliminating the room of cigarette smoke and bad perfume turned into something entirely different.
Luna compared it to selling off everything associated with her first marriage. From the clothing she’d worn, to the chair she sat on, Luna sold it all. She wanted to smile when she saw the room, not be reminded of Karen.
Now Luna stood in front of her bathroom mirror and assured herself that the bruises were all gone.
Harper and Ash were both over, Miley was off work, and Nate was doling out tasks while he made everyone dinner.
Luna was the last one to make her way to the kitchen and hesitated when she heard her name whispered.
“Is Luna sleeping?” It was Harper asking the question.
“She’s restless,” Nate said.
“Has she said anything since that night?”
“No,” Miley answered Harper. “Not to me.”
“Me either,” Nate added.
“I’m worried.”
“Our sister is stronger than you think,” Ash whispered.
Luna looked down at her feet.
One foot in a therapeutic shoe, the other slid into a canvas tennis shoe.
She knew her family’s concern was out of love. They’d been respectful of the time and space she needed. They needed to know she was okay.
Luna lifted her chin, pasted on a smile, and walked into the kitchen.
“You don’t need to worry.”
Every eye in the kitchen turned to stare.
Miley spoke first. “It’s hard not to, Lu. You haven’t been yourself.”
“I know. I also haven’t had a moment alone since . . . Cody.” She winced. “I don’t want to say his name.”
“Don’t, then,” Miley told her. “How about ‘that night.’ You haven’t been alone since ‘that night.’”
Luna nodded her approval. “I try not to think about it. Now that my face doesn’t look like I was left in the boxing ring with someone who had to prove themselves, it’ll get easier.”
“No one wants to pressure you into talking,” Nate said.
Luna took a few steps closer to him and placed a hand over his. “We can’t exactly ignore the elephant in the room, though . . . can we?”
He shook his head.
“No,” Miley muttered.
Luna looked at her best friend, tilted her head to the side. Miley looked tired. The kind that came from too many hours of work and no sleep. “How are you doing? I wasn’t the only one here that night.”
Miley blinked a few times, her nose flared. “Uhm . . .”
A knot caught in the back of Luna’s throat when she realized that Miley was going to cry.
Luna closed in on her friend and pulled her into her arms.
Miley’s arms tightened. “I thought he was going to kill you.”
“Not with you here,” Luna tried to laugh. “Holding a gun.”
They pulled apart enough that Luna could see the pain on Miley’s face.
“I keep having the same dream.” Miley bit her lip. “I pull the trigger, and I hit you.”
“Oh, God,” Harper whispered.
Luna placed her hands on each side of Miley’s face. “But you didn’t. And I’m here. No one got shot.”
Miley nodded.
They hugged again.
All this time Luna didn’t want to talk, she hadn’t thought of what Miley was going through. Now she felt selfish for her silence.
They both sat at the kitchen table.
Harper had found tissues and handed one to Miley.
Luna looked at Nate. “Do you have the same dream?” she asked.
“No.” He shook his head. “I regret not shooting him.” Nate turned back to the stove and removed whatever was in the pan simmering from the heat.
Luna looked at Ash. “And you?”
“I wasn’t here,” he said.
“I know but . . .”
“I wasn’t here. I should have been.” His words were angry.
“How were you to know?”
Ash looked her straight in the eye. “You knew. You knew Mom would pull something like this. You said it. And I didn’t listen.”
“You can’t blame yourself for that, Ash. That asshole was here three days before and we were so excited that Mom was leaving that we let him stay. That’s on me.”
“No, it’s not. Miley told me the reason you didn’t tell me was for fear of how I would react. And you’re right. I wouldn’t have let any man Mom brought over stay. If there had to be a fight, it should have been with me, not you.”
“And I didn’t want you to get into anything that could cost you your promotion. So, we’re even. You want to protect me, and I want to protect you. We’re not the problem here.” Luna paused and looked at Harper and Ash. “Mom is.”
“I could have told her to stay with me,” Harper said. “She wouldn’t have brought over a man with Jerry there.”
Luna couldn’t argue that. “If she ever shows up here again, you’ll get your chance.”
Nate moved to Luna’s side and took a seat beside her at the kitchen table.
She held out her hand for him to hold.
“She won’t,” Ash said.
“She will.” Luna turned and looked him directly in the eye.
“You said you should have listened to me, so hear me now. She will show up again. It might be five years from now . . . two. The difference will be me. I will not open the door for her. Six feet of snow, pouring down rain . . . I don’t care.
I have given her too much of my life to mess up.
How she hasn’t scared you off yet, I don’t know,” Luna said to Nate.
“I don’t scare easy.” He lifted their joined hands and kissed the back of hers.
Luna leaned into him.
“Is she back in Alabama?” Luna asked.
“Yes. I bought her a one-way plane ticket,” Harper said.
Luna nodded several times. “Good. I wouldn’t ask either of you to stop having a relationship with her for my sake.
I will ask that you respect my decision to cut her out of my life.
Don’t invite me over if she’s visiting. Don’t tell me if she asked about me.
The only thing I’ll ask is that you let me know if she’s in town.
So that I’m not taken by surprise if she has the audacity to show up.
She’ll never willingly break this cycle of abuse.
That is entirely up to me. I refuse to become her.
And I’ll no longer accept her in my life.
” It felt good to say that out loud. The morning she’d woken up broken and bleeding, she knew her relationship with her mother was forever changed. But telling her siblings made it real.
Harper released a sigh. “I’ll call her and tell her.”
“No,” Luna said. “That isn’t your job.”
Nate placed both of his hands around her one. “Hon . . . you’ve asked everyone how they’re doing. How are you doing?”
She couldn’t bring herself to lie. They all deserved better than that. “I feel numb. I don’t even feel angry anymore. Just numb.”
Miley leaned forward. “That’s not good, Luna.”
“I know. I’ve avoided therapy. Told myself I was fine when I wasn’t.
I don’t think I can do that anymore.” Luna looked at Nate.
“I don’t want to mess up the good things in my life by burying all this.
Right now, I don’t trust myself to not screw things up.
” She felt like crying again, which was better than numb.
Nate pressed his lips close to her ear. “I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered.
She wanted to believe that.
She wanted to trust again.
She wanted to let herself love again.
“I’ll talk to the social worker at the hospital, get some resources,” Miley told her.
“Thank you.”
Luna looked between the faces of her family, friend, and lover. All of them there for her, for each other. These were the people in her life that counted. The ones she could count on.
Her mother was never that person and never would be.
Luna turned to Nate, felt a genuine smile on her face. “What’s getting cold over there? It smells delicious.”
He winked and said slowly, “Swedish meatballs.”
“From IKEA?” she laughed.
“I found their recipe.” Nate released her hand and went back to the range.
Miley leaned over. “He’s one of the good ones,” she whispered.
Luna felt her friend’s words deep in her chest. “I don’t want to fuck it up.”
“I won’t let you.”
Luna sat under the covers of her bed, knees pulled up to her chest.
The sound of the shower had turned off and she could hear Nate moving around in her bathroom preparing himself to go to bed.
When Harper made her excuses and left for home, Luna and Nate worked their way upstairs.
Miley and Ash were still up talking.
It always seemed that her brother and her best friend grated on each other’s nerves, but something had changed since “that night.” They were softer to each other, kinder.
So much had changed . . . in all of them.
“Someone is deep in thought.” Nate’s words pulled Luna out of her head.
She smiled and looked him up and down.
Hair wet from the shower, bare chest . . . and gray sweatpants.
“How many pairs of those do you own?” Luna made a scene of letting her eye linger below his waist.