Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
Bellamy
Pulling my sweater tighter around me, I make my way up the front porch of my mom’s house. It was warm enough today that wearing this sweater over my T-shirt was sufficient, but now that the sun’s gone down and the wind’s picked up, it’s become cold. That’s October weather in Tennessee.
Mom insisted on making dinner and that Amanda and I join her.
When I told her I was going to watch the game, she made it a point to invite me to her place to watch it.
I know this has to be weird for her, but she was insistent, and I couldn’t tell her no.
So, here I am, walking into my mother’s house to watch my dad’s team on TV.
Not just my dad, but my man, too. Dad was coaching college when they divorced, and as far as I know, my mom doesn’t follow his career or the team, but she has been this season because of Reid.
It’s weird, and makes my belly twist with unease, but I’m here, and I’m thankful my best friend beat me here—she can be our buffer.
I’ve never needed a buffer with my mom. Before meeting Reid, I told her pretty much everything about my life.
Now, I feel guilty telling her how happy my football-playing baby daddy makes me, when her husband didn’t do the same.
“There she is,” Mom says as I walk into the kitchen, where she and Amanda are sitting. “Let’s eat.”
“Did you make your cheesy chicken, broccoli, and rice?” I ask, even though I’d recognize the smell anywhere.
“Yep.” Mom grins.
We all busy ourselves filling our plates and carrying them to the dining room.
“Reid and his team are having a good season so far,” Mom says.
“You’ve been watching?” I mean, I know she told me that she has, but I’m still shocked.
“Of course. Week five and undefeated. That’s impressive,” Mom boasts.
“They’re doing well.”
“Your father must be proud.”
“I wouldn’t know,” I admit.
“How is he with Reid?” Mom asks. I’ve been waiting for this question.
“Honestly, in the beginning, he was riding him pretty hard at practice, always calling him out, but since the day we told him about the baby, Reid says he’s been more dismissive than an asshole, so I guess that’s better.” I shrug.
“Bellamy, your father’s a good man,” Mom says gently.
“He left us.”
“Sweetheart, relationships are tough, and it’s just as much my fault as it was his.
I wanted more of his time, and he was building a career to support us.
He still supported us. He bought this house, paid for everything you might ever need, and then some.
He might not have been here, but even after the divorce, he supported us. ”
“He left us.” Thankfully, I’ve finished eating, or this conversation would have made me lose my appetite.
“He tried so many times to see you, and you refused. I wanted to make you, but your dad said not to. He didn’t want to force you, but he missed you.”
“That’s not how I remember it,” I tell her.
“Bellamy, you were so young. He sent cards and letters, and you told me to get rid of them. No matter how I encouraged you to read them, you wouldn’t.”
“Because he didn’t choose us. He didn’t choose me,” I tell her, feeling tears prick my eyes.
“We fell apart, Bellamy. Sure, his job had a lot to do with that, but it was just as much me as it was him. I didn’t fight hard enough to make it work. I wanted things to be simple, like a fairy tale. That’s not life.”
“Why are you telling me this? Why now, after all of these years?”
Mom smiles softly. “Because, my darling daughter, you’re finally in a place in your life that you’re willing to listen.
You’ve carried this hate for so long, but since meeting Reid, you’ve changed.
I can see the anger starting to fade away, and you’re willing to listen.
One day, you’ll understand a parent’s love for their child. ”
I place my hand on my small bump. At seventeen weeks along, there’s no hiding that I’m pregnant. I love this baby fiercely, more than I ever could have imagined possible. “He should have tried harder.”
“I’ll be right back.” Mom stands and walks out of the room.
“You doing okay?” Amanda asks me.
“Yeah, I just don’t understand why she defends him. She’s never once talked ill of him, and he left us.”
“Bella, I love you, but your mom is right. You were young, and relationships are hard. There are things you didn’t know or see, things you wouldn’t have understood at ten years old.”
“I can agree to that, but why now?”
Amanda shrugs. “You’ve had so much anger for so long. You’ve had a vise grip on those hurt feelings, and nothing anyone said could change that. How many times have I told you that maybe it was time to leave the past there and start fresh with your dad?”
“A lot,” I mumble.
She grins. “Reid’s changed you in so many ways,” she tells me.
I think about her words as my phone rings, and an image of the man himself smiles back at me. I accept his video call because I miss him like crazy, and I need to hear the sound of his voice.
“There’s my dream girl,” he says, and instantly, a smile tugs at my lips.
“Don’t you have a game to play?” I ask him.
“Yeah, we’re in the locker room, about to take the field. If your dad catches me on the phone, he’ll ream my ass, but I need to check on my girls before the game.”
“You know, if we’re having a son, he’s going to be offended you assumed he was a girl all this time,” I tease.
“I feel it in my gut, Bell. We’re having a baby girl.”
I don’t question him because he’s never wavered in that prediction, not once, and I don’t care what we have as long as he or she is loved, happy, and healthy. “You ready for the game?”
He tilts his head to the side. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I answer too quickly.
“Come on, baby. It’s me you’re talking to. Are you okay? The baby?” he asks.
“We’re both fine. I’m at Mom’s with her and Amanda. She made us dinner, and we’re going to watch the game.”
His eyes widen. “Your mom is watching?”
“Apparently, she’s watched them all this season to support you.”
“Really? Give her a hug from me, yeah?”
Mom comes up behind me and wraps her arm around my shoulders. “How about I give our girl one from you, too?” Mom asks, waving at the phone with her free hand.
“I like the way you think, Candice.” He winks. “Amanda, tell them you want one, too. Can’t have my girl’s best friend being left out.”
“I’ll be collecting from both of them,” Amanda calls out. “Don’t you worry.”
Reid laughs, and the sound sinks into my soul like a warm embrace.
“Go kick some ass,” I tell him.
“You sure you’re all right?”
“I’m fine. I promise.” I smile, hoping to ease his concerns.
“I’ll call you after the game.”
“You don’t have to. I know you’ll be tired, and it’ll be late.”
“I’m not going to bed without telling you goodnight,” he grumbles, and my heart soars.
“Good game.”
“Thanks, Dream Girl.” He blows me a kiss, and the screen goes black.
“He’s a good one,” Mom tells me.
“Did Dad ever do things like that?” I ask her. “Call before a game?”
“He did. When I was pregnant with you, as his career advanced, and as I settled into my role as your mom with my own career, we just kind of drifted. Bellamy, it wasn’t all on your father.
I didn’t make the effort either. He was gone a lot, and I just stopped including him in our lives.
I’m just as much to blame for our marriage falling apart as he is. ”
“All these years,” I whisper, “you never said anything.”
“You got upset anytime I tried. You couldn’t see or feel anything but your anger, but I think your football player has helped you see that it’s not the game, but the situation, and it’s not all on the man, either. I was just as guilty for the demise of our marriage.”
“I feel like the last fifteen years have been a lie,” I confess.
“Oh, honey, I’m sorry. I should have insisted that you sit down and have this conversation.
Your dad never wanted me to. He said you’d come around in your own time.
With each year that passed, I tried less and less, which again, is on me.
I failed you there. I was with you every day.
I could see your anger, but I didn’t sit you down to make you understand. ”
I glance at Amanda, and she smiles. “He loves you, Bella. I can see it when he looks at you. He was proud as a peacock that day at the stadium, during family day. He was introducing you to everyone, including Reid.” She snickers.
“I like to think life has a way of working out. I think the universe knew you needed a man to show you. That’s the only way you were ever going to work past the anger and resentment.”
My head is spinning. All this time, it wasn’t just him.
Why have I never considered that? I know why: I was angry and needed someone to blame.
He wasn’t there, so he got all of it. The weight of all the years I’ve lost with my dad because I was too stubborn to see the forest through the trees sits heavily on my chest.
“What’s in the box?” I ask my mom.
She gives me a sad smile and hands it to me. Pulling off the lid, I see lots of envelopes. “What’s this?”
“They’re all from your dad. You refused the first several, so after that, I just put them in this box. I thought maybe one day, you might want to see them.”
Tears burn my eyes, and I try to blink them away, but it’s no use.
They fall unchecked, coating my cheeks. Lifting the first envelope, I flip it over.
It’s sealed, so I slide my finger underneath and pull out the contents.
It’s a birthday card—my thirteenth. A check falls out, for thirteen hundred dollars.
“I can’t believe my baby girl is a teenager.
I love you so much, my Bella. I hope you have the best birthday.
I’d love to see you when you’re ready. Love, Dad,. ” I read his note inside the card.
“He loves you so much, Bellamy. After the first birthday, when the check wasn’t cashed, he started wiring me the money, in addition to sending you a check.”