Learning to Love (The Fearless #1)

Chapter 1

College Bound

I wanted to change my look up a little bit for college and to say I'm fashionably challenged would be an understatement. I’m hoping these changes will help me step my game up. Rolling my eyes as I look in the mirror, at least I feel pretty.

Sneezing for the hundredth time, my new nose ring keeps tickling the inside of my nose.

I got it on a whim graduation night a couple of weeks ago while my cousin Toby was getting a tattoo.

Starting college had me feeling like I needed a change.

I made a vow to myself that I will have more self-confidence, and I will be more outspoken.

I want people to see the real me and I don't want to feel invisible anymore.

My bags are packed, and our plane tickets are sitting on top of my dresser.

I leave for college in a few short hours.

I decided to start classes this summer instead of waiting for the fall.

My mama was upset when I told her the news, but granny understood.

I love my family, but I crave freedom. I want to do things I've never done before.

I want to kiss a boy more than once, go on a date, and wake up questioning my judgement the next morning.

My decision for summer enrollment was also because I wanted to start my classes while attendance would be lower. Hopefully, the fact that there will be fewer people will help with my social anxiety. This will also enable me to finish my degree earlier than anticipated.

I'm three credits short of being a sophomore already so it was a win-win decision for me.

I took some local college classes while still in high school, so it got me ahead.

Just consider me a proud nerd because I've never been anything less than a straight A student. However, I don’t love school.

I love learning but being socially awkward makes it difficult to be around people.

The sooner I go to school, the sooner I finish. Hasta La Vista, baby!

My circle's always been small, with two or three best friends. I like people and I want to be a people person but I’m just not that girl. I’ve never even been to a party. The very thought makes me want to break out in hives right now.

I am going to miss my besties here, but I am looking forward to hopefully making a few new friends in Austin. Hopefully doing so will help loosen some of my anxiety and I’ll feel less lonely.

I'm a foodie, so I love trying out new eating places.

I also love shopping at the mall and going to the movies sometimes.

And although I will, I don't want to go to those places all by myself.

Being an introvert really has worked against me, but I truly am hoping this change in scenery will help me.

My granny Betsy Jean lightly knocks on my bedroom door. "Hey baby, you all ready?"

"Almost Granny! I wish I could take my mirror with me. It makes me look skinny."

She smiles and shakes her head. "Girl, I wish I would have had them curves back in my day. I would have made your papa blush more. Or I might have even danced on top of a few tables, too."

I cover my ears with my hands! "EWW!"

"Mama stop being nasty!" My mama waltzes in the room laughing at her mama.

I smile at them. They are mirror images of each other only at different stages of the life cycle. Certain aspects of my facial features are similar to theirs, and certain parts come from my deadbeat dad.

I can’t help the sigh that escapes my lips.

I'll miss them terribly. They raised me up together.

My Papa died several years ago, and Granny moved in with us then.

My main mission in life has always been to make my family proud.

After college my plan is to get a high paying job so that I will be able to take care of them.

They don't know this plan and they would never agree to it, but I don't care. They’ve sacrificed so much for me.

My sperm donor walked out on us when I was 4 or 5 and the older I get the more the details blur with every passing year.

Apparently, he has a new family in Nevada and has graced me with having a brother and sister that I've never met.

I don't know if they've even heard about me.

His second wife is pretty, but she's nowhere near as beautiful as my Mama.

I found all of them on Facebook last year.

I went on an ice cream bender for a couple of hours, then realized he wasn't worth my tears.

I have emotional baggage but who doesn’t and I hope for their sake he has been a better father to them than he was to me.

He does send me $200 every birthday and every Christmas, but I've always given it to Mama.

I've never wanted anything from that man, but I hope it helped her with a bill or two throughout the years.

Mama is a charge nurse at one of the best hospitals in Georgia.

She's worked long hours for years in order for us to have the life that we have.

We're not rich, but we splurge when we can.

My family loves a good steak every now and then from Spivey's.

It's the best in the south. That's good enough for us.

I'm not sure what I want to do with my life yet, so I'm enrolled as a General Studies major. I love animals so maybe a vet, but I really haven’t got a clue.

I had a few colleges interested in me, but I picked The University of Texas because they offered me the biggest scholarship.

I didn't want to burden my Mama with needing extra money for tuition or living expenses.

We’re flying to Texas this afternoon. My cousin Toby, who is one of my best friends, left two days before us with a small U-Haul trailer that holds all my belongings that I need for college.

I'm looking forward to getting to know the layout of my new school and the downtown area before classes start.

Austin seems like a cool, young place. It's been labeled as a foodie paradise, and I'm ready.

I'll have all the salsa and chips, please!

Hopefully, I'll enjoy my new home for the next 3 or so years. I already have a list of restaurants I want to try while my family is visiting with me this week. My favorite thing to order on any menu is shrimp and grits. I’m skeptical but let's see if Texas can do it better than Georgia can. Doubtful.

We drive three hours to get to Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport and my granny's nerves are shot.

Hell, my nerves are shot. My mama is a road raged crazy person type of driver.

She always makes my granny cuss, which I find hilarious.

The laughter usually gets me in trouble.

Granny always looks at me and says something along the lines of, "If you don't stop cackling right this instant, I'm going to tan your hide!

And I love Jesus, Dani, so hush! But your mama would drive a pure Saint to cuss when she gets behind that wheel.

" Which makes me laugh even more, and in turn makes my granny cuss again.

If you've never had a southern granny yell at you from the front seat, have you ever really lived?

Thankfully, we make it to Atlanta in one piece. We glide through TSA, and board our flight. I put my earbuds in, preparing to watch the inflight movie because flying is not my favorite. Ready or not, Texas here we come! Here's to a new life with new experiences and a brand new me.