Chapter Fifty-Four Julia
CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR
“There are thousands of beautiful homes all over this amazing city, but she’s the only one I want to live and love in. Riverside Manor is my refuge.”
—Remington
Julia
My duffel bag was full, but I shoved my lit book inside anyway, holding the two sides together as I tried getting it to zip. It took a lot of work and grunting, but after a few minutes, my overstuffed bag was finally closed.
Whew.
I plopped down on my bed beside it, looking around my room, trying to gauge what else I needed to grab. I was back in the city for a day, just to collect a few more things to take back with me, things I needed to finish out the first semester.
But as I let my gaze move around the bedroom, I found myself missing it, and I hadn’t even left yet.
The soft bed, the heavy comforter, the thick rug that felt like a blanket under bare feet. The way there was a perfect mix of insulated quiet, yet with the accompaniment of random city sounds from outside, like garbage trucks and honking horns.
I walked over to one of the windows, looking out at the incredible view of Riverside Park.
The trees had shed most of their leaves since I’d left, so it looked like a different place than it had while I’d lived there.
It was like the curtains had been pulled back on the space, and now I could clearly see the walking paths below, the stairs throughout, the river beyond that’d always called to me like a voice.
God, I missed it so much.
This place had become so much more than a house, which still surprised me.
Maybe it was because while everyone at Gardenwood had made life here pretty crappy in my short time there, these beautiful walls had held safety for me.
It’d been the refuge home base during all the storms.
I heard the doorbell ring as I moved to the other window to look out onto the street, but I couldn’t see anyone or any car dropping someone off.
“I’ll get it,” I heard my dad say, followed by the creaking of the front door. And then, “Oh. Hello, Damion.”
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.
My dad sounded more snide than was typical for him, but still. Why was Damion there?
What did he want?
And why was he here??
There’s no way he knows I’m back, right?
“Hi, Mr. Lowell,” he said, and the sound of his voice sent chills through my entire body, chills that were cold yet also crackling like flames.
It’s him, oh God.
My pulse pounded in my chest as the huskiness of his deep voice wrapped itself around my heart.
“I was wondering if I could talk to you and Mrs. Lowell for a second?”
“Sure, um…,” my dad said, sounding like he didn’t want to say yes. “Come in.”
My heart was pounding in my ears as I heard the door close, as I heard him walk into the foyer.
Damion is downstairs! Damion is in the house!
What the hell??
I could hear murmured small talk as my dad yelled for my mom, but I couldn’t make out exactly what was being said, so I crept out of my room and moved closer to the stairs.
God, against my better judgment, I missed him so much that his sudden unexpected presence in my world was almost overwhelming. Knowing those stupid glasses and that arrogant smirk were right downstairs, right down the stairs, had my hands trembling.
I definitely didn’t want to be seen, but I needed to know what was going on. I leaned against the railing and found it hard to listen when I was holding my breath.
“Thank you,” he said, his voice rich and deep.
God, hearing his voice was brutal. I wanted to cover my ears and hide from it, but I also wanted to roll around in the sound. I wanted to record it and save it to listen to on repeat, or find a way to shove it into the pages of my lit book in the overstuffed duffel.
“Do you want something to drink?” my mom asked, as if Damion were just a nice boy stopping by for a visit and not the guy who’d tricked us all.
“Listen, I don’t want to be rude,” my dad said as if reading my thoughts, “but you keep stopping by to apologize. You’re sorry and we get it, yet nothing has changed. I’m not sure how much else we have to discuss—”
He what?
He what????????
“No, um, this isn’t that,” Damion said, sounding flustered. “I don’t know how to say this, so I’m just going to be honest. Here.”
I leaned forward, trying to see without being seen. What was he giving them? What did “here” mean??
What is going on??
“What is this?” my dad asked.
“My parents are dropping the suit,” Damion said. “No one is going to contest Remi’s will.”
“What?” I heard Liam say. “Are you serious?”
I covered my mouth and leaned even closer to the banister. They were seriously dropping the suit?
“Yeah,” Damion said. “This is legit. The Rutledges are done and stepping away. What’s yours is yours and all that.”
“Wow,” my dad said. “This is… unexpected.”
I felt almost dizzy as I listened, because could this be real? Were we actually going to be able to keep everything?
And hearing the news coming from his mouth was really messing with me.
My dad asked, “What triggered the change of heart?”
“Some evidence came to light that proves Uncle Remi was in his right mind when he wrote the will. He definitely wanted you guys to have his estate, so the only right thing to do is ensure that you get it.”
“Where did the evidence come from?” my mom asked.
“Um,” Damion said, and I could hear the hesitation in his voice. He doesn’t want to say, I thought, and I knew the exact expression that was on his face that very moment.
I closed my eyes and swallowed as the image of his hazel eyes came at me so strong, it was almost like he was standing in front of me.
I heard him clear his throat before he said, “My uncle left me a letter.”
Lou left him a letter?
“Oh,” my dad said. “And this letter just surfaced?”
“Yes, sir.”
Yes, sir.
I blinked fast as Damion’s respectful response made me want to cry.
Because he was a good guy, dammit, in spite of every not good thing he’d ever done.
I heard my dad say, “Can I tell you that I’m proud of you? I know that’s probably weird, and I know you aren’t out here looking for my approval, but I know how difficult this decision must’ve been. Thank—”
“Don’t thank me,” Damion said, sounding embarrassed. “We accused you of some terrible things.”
“Why do I feel like you had something to do with this turnaround, though, Damion?”
“No idea,” Damion said, and I could tell by his tone that he was giving my dad a little half smile. “The bottom line is that it’s settled now and we can all move on.”
Move on. My heart pinched at the sound of those words, because I missed him so much and I’d been trying to move on, but moving on was also the very worst thing.
“Really appreciate you dropping this by,” I heard my brother say.
“The very least I could do,” Damion said. “Later, man.”
It felt like my heart was shattering because he was leaving. It was good he was leaving, because he was an asshole, but it didn’t change the fact that I missed him.
Dear Lord, I missed him so much that every bone in my body ached.
I missed his face and his sarcastic sense of humor and the way his hazel eyes looked when he called me Nebraska.
God, I needed to hear him say it again.
I couldn’t seriously never hear him say it again, could I?
The sound of him pushing on the front door was devastating.
Don’t go! I thought. Wait!
“Wait,” I heard my brother say, which made my breath catch in my chest.
I was almost dizzy as I stood there, listening.
“What’s up?” Damion asked, and I leaned forward a little, trying to see him. Desperate for a glimpse of him. For dark curly hair, wide shoulders, dirty smile.
“Between you and me, how did this happen?” Liam asked.
Yes, yes, how DID this happen, Damion?
“What do you mean?” he asked, his deep voice climbing all those stairs to settle into the hairs on the back of my neck.
“I mean that when your dad served us, it was obvious he had no intention of backing down, and I don’t suspect he backs down very often. So, what did you do to make this happen?”
“I didn’t do anything,” Damion said.
“Bullshit,” my brother said, and I dropped to a squat to try and see down the stairs. “You obviously did something to convince your dad.”
“It was nothing,” Damion said with a sigh. “Easy. I go to an Ivy, go to business school, he drops the suit.”
“Why would you do that, though?” Liam asked. “Beck said you’d never go to business school.”
I remembered the way Damion had looked when he talked about his future, how much he hated the thought of going to Dartmouth and working for his dad.
“It doesn’t matter,” he said in his bored, blasé tone, the one I’d always suspected was an act.
“If it doesn’t matter, then say it. Why the hell would you give up on the dream of a shitty public university, Rutledge?” Liam was challenging him, his voice rising.
And I wanted to scream.
I wanted to yell at Liam to stop interrogating him while at the same time I wanted to demand he give us every single answer because Damion, what did you do??
“Jesus. Ease up, Lowell. You guys get to keep the house, so can I please leave it? Like I said, it doesn’t matter.”
It does, it does, it SO does!
Why??
Liam’s voice lowered, but it was still loud when he said, “It does and we both know it, so just fucking admit—”
“For her, okay?” Damion snapped. “And screw you for making me say it when you know damn well she’s done with me. Fuck.”
I clenched the stair railing tighter as his voice cracked. As he said, “Even so, she still deserves everything.”
“She ‘deserves everything’?” Liam scoffed, and I could almost see my brother lift his eyes toward the staircase, in my direction.
He knew I was listening.
Liam, don’t! Don’t do it.
“God, you sound like you’re in love with her.”
The seconds passed by like hours as I crouched there on shaking legs, until…
“I am,” he said. “Doesn’t matter, though, does it?”
With that, he left. I flinched at the sound of the door closing.
I rose to my feet on wobbly legs, feeling shell-shocked.
Oh my God.
Liam shut the front door and turned around, looking at me standing at the top of the staircase.
Where I was an absolute wreck, my face no doubt blotchy and smeared with tears.
Liam smiled at my awful appearance. “I’ve got three words to say to say to you regarding Damion Rutledge.”
I looked at my twin brother, who knew me better than maybe I knew myself. “Yeah? What are they?”
“Go get him.”