Chapter 56
“Thanks for that,”I said, tilting my face up to Bones.
He grasped the back of my neck and kissed me soundly. “You don’t have to thank me.” He made a face. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you smell like horse shit.”
I sniggered. “You don’t smell much better.”
He removed his leather cut and hung it up in the front closet before sitting on the stairs to take off his boots. “Guess that means we gotta shower.”
“Guess it does,” I agreed.
“Seriously, though, Duchess,” his gaze found mine, “thanks for sharing that with me.”
“You’re welcome,” I murmured.
I’d taken Bones to the stable where Dad and I had ridden together. I hadn’t been there since he’d died, but today, with all the worries and concerns swirling in my head, it was the only place I could think of running to.
Bones and I hadn’t actually ridden any of the horses, but we’d spent time brushing and feeding them.
“Next time, I’ll get up on a stallion,” I stated.
“Trading one stallion for another?” he quipped.
“The horse would give me less trouble.” I flashed a grin.
“Don’t tell Stanton you took me to the stables. He’s going think I’ll want to take tennis lessons soon.”
“Not tennis,” I said. “But what do you think of golf?”
“No way in hell.”
“You can drink scotch and smoke cigars.”
“And become an unofficial member of the Rat Pack.”
“You know about the Rat Pack?” I asked in surprise.
“There was a Rat Pack movie marathon on one of those classic movie channels. Frank Sinatra is one dapper mother fucker.” He grinned.
“Hmm. You’re pretty dapper too. Come on, let’s shower off the stables.”
As we headed up the stairs, my phone rang. I frowned. “I have to take this.”
“Who is it?”
“My private attorney,” I said.
Bones nodded.
“James,” I greeted. “How’s everything going?”
“Fantastic,” he said. “I’ve been doing exactly as you instructed. I’ve been buying up shares of the company all morning. I’ve gotta say, you really put your money where your mouth is. Limit prices twenty-five percent over ask was genius. Every share is coming straight back to you. In fact, selling has slowed down and the price is beginning to stabilize. I’ve seen some interesting things in the past but overpaying to buy back more of the company even though they’re not preferred shares is a new one. Anyway, congratulations, you now own another six percent of Spencer Pharmaceuticals.”
My stepfather’s funeral was quiet. Unfortunately, a reporter had discovered the location. Bones confronted him, and the reporter snapped a few pictures and then jumped into a waiting car and left.
By the night of my mother’s party, my mood was in the toilet, and I had no desire to put on a pretty dress and smile.
“We should’ve canceled the party,” I said to Bones as I looked out the window of the limousine.
He took my hand and laced his fingers through mine. “But then you wouldn’t have gotten to see me in my tux again. You look gorgeous, by the way.”
“Thank you,” I murmured.
“I wish I could make all of the horrible things that have happened the past few weeks go away for you, Duchess.” Bones’ gaze met mine. “But I can’t. All I can do is be here for you.”
He brought my hand to his lips and kissed the back of it.
The limousine pulled up to the entrance of The Danbury Hotel.
“You ready, Duchess?” Bones asked.
“Yeah.”
He got out first and beat the driver around to my side and opened the door for me. He held out his hand to me and I took it.
His palm went to my waist as he guided me up into the hotel. Security stood at the hotel doors. Anyone not on the guest list wasn’t getting in.
The Danbury Hotel was smaller than The Rex by orders of magnitude, but I appreciated my mother’s attention to the warmth of the space. She was an immaculate party planner and moreover, she enjoyed doing it.
The intimate ballroom was all golden light and cream tablecloths. My mother held a glass of champagne and stood with Dina and Patrick.
Charlie was nowhere to be seen, but I knew she’d turn up eventually. A server passed by with a tray of salmon puffs. I was starving and I took one and popped it into my mouth.
“You almost lost a finger eating that thing so fast,” Bones said with a laugh.
“Rude.”
He draped an arm around my bare shoulder and pulled me into his side. “Let’s say hi to your mom, and then I need to find the bar.”
In fact, Bones didn’t need to find the bar, because a server approached him and took his drink order and brought it to him while we were talking.
He kept stealing glances at me, his hand tightening at my waist as he stood next to me.
“What?” I whispered.
“Nothing.”
“Not nothing. You keep looking at me like…”
“Like?” He raised his brows.
“Like you either want to get me into a coat closet or you’re worried about me.”
“Your mother would skin me alive if I disappeared with you for a while in a coat closet.” He took a sip of his drink. “How are you feeling? Physically, I mean.”
“Ah, so you are worried about me,” I said.
My mother and godparents had left us to speak to other friends, leaving me and Bones to have this conversation in the middle of ballroom.
“You barely ate all day. The last several days have been really stressful. I’m just concerned about you.”
“You mean you’re waiting for me to have one of my episodes.”
“Yeah, I am,” he admitted. “Sue me.”
“Bones…”
“I’ve tried not to smother you or hover,” he stated. “But, Jesus, Duchess. A lot of shit has gone down in the last two weeks. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”
“Well, I’m not okay!” My voice had risen, and unfortunately that had drawn a few curious eyes. I flashed a socialite smile at them, hoping they couldn’t see my brittle expression.
I grasped Bones’ hand and dragged him to the corner of the ballroom in hopes for some measure of privacy.
“You promised,” I accused.
“Promised what?”
“That you wouldn’t treat me differently because of my condition.”
“Treat you—for fuck’s sake, Duchess. I’ve held back what I’ve really wanted to say.”
“Well, say it now,” I commanded.
“Here?”
“You brought this up.”
“Fine, you want the truth? The truth is, I think you took on too much and for someone who has a stress triggered condition, I think it’s a bad idea.”
“I’m not letting my condition stop me from doing what needs to be done,” I said, lifting my chin.
“So what happens? Huh? You go to the office one day and you pass out from stress? And then you’re out of commission for days? What then?”
“I’ll deal with it.”
Bones sighed and dropped his hand. He shoved his fists into his pockets. “We shouldn’t be having this talk here.”
“No, we shouldn’t,” I agreed.
“But we need to have this conversation,” he insisted.
“I know.” A pit of anxiety settled in my stomach. “I need to use the ladies’ room.”
“I’ll go with you. I’ll wait outside.”
“No, Bones,” I protested. “I need just a few minutes to myself. Please.”
He clenched his jaw but reluctantly nodded.
I kissed his cheek, enjoying the slight five o’clock shadow along his skin. I slipped out of the ballroom and wandered through the lobby. I asked the front desk agent to point the direction of the restroom.
As I wandered down the hallway, my mind churned over everything Bones had said. I’d never once been angry at myself for my condition. It was what it was. But for the first time since my episodes began to occur, I resented the hell out them. I hated that my body wouldn’t cooperate. I hated that I was weaker than everyone else. I watched what I ate, I didn’t drink alcohol or caffeine. I limited my stress—what I could control, anyway, and still my body failed me.
Was having a baby even a good idea? Not only would it put stress onto my body—my weak, insufficient body—but would Bones ever trust my capability as a mother? He didn’t want to leave me alone even now, afraid that I might have an episode and faint.
Will he ever trust me with our child?
The restroom was empty, and I plunked down onto the black couch as my thoughts continued to swirl out of control.
Maybe I was selfish. For wanting to have a baby with Bones. For wanting to take on this role in my father’s company. But I meant what I’d said. I was tired of sitting on the sidelines, watching my life pass me by. I’d already lost too much time to grief.
It’s time to live.
With a sigh, I stood up and went to the sink. I was rummaging through my clutch for my lipstick when I heard the restroom door open behind me.
I turned to smile at the newcomer.
My face froze when I saw a pistol pointed directly at my head.
In a flash, time stopped and I noticed so many things about him.
He was tall, with short, cropped blond hair. His eyes were blue like winter’s ice—and his cheekbones were sharp and angular. He wore a cater waiter’s uniform.
This man wasn’t at all like the men who’d tried to kill me before. This one was calculated and calm.
Determined.
Professional.
All the thoughts that had been swirling in my mind suddenly evaporated.
I stared down the barrel of his gun, wishing that I hadn’t left Bones. Wishing that I’d been able to say all that I wanted to say to him. But I’d need a lifetime with him for that. And mine was about to be truncated.
The door to the restroom opened again, this time hitting the man in the back as Charlie tried to enter.
His grip slipped and he pulled the trigger.
A bright flash erupted from his hand and my skull felt like someone hit me with a sandbag. I didn’t hear a thing, and my knees went out from under me.
I fell to the ground.
Regret.
I thought it in a flash of time.
Such a stupid, useless emotion.
And then the world winked out.