Chapter 23 Early Mornings, Heavy Hearts, and Love
Early Mornings, Heavy Hearts, and Love
GWEN
Iwake before the sun rises. The room is still wrapped in a soft, blue-gray light that exists only in the early morning.
Wyatt is asleep against me, his head heavy on my breast, his cheek pressed into my skin like this is where he belongs.
One big, callused hand is spread wide over my stomach, possessive without even trying.
His breathing is slow, regulated, and deep.
This is the first time since last night that he’s looked even remotely peaceful.
I wish he could stay that way. Seeing how utterly destroyed he was last night was hard to take.
I want him to rest and center himself. I want him to feel nothing but love today.
It’s a foolish dream, but it’s what I want most in the world.
Still, I know I should move. Today is Christmas, and there’s a million and one things to do.
The turkey needs to go into the oven. Wyatt’s brothers will be here later.
My girls will show up soon to help me cook.
And after seeing how close Mal and Storm were when we got back from shopping, I fully expect Mal to be ridiculously early.
Even knowing all of that, I don’t move. I just stare down at the man asleep on my chest. A man I love with everything inside of me. I can’t bring myself to wake him up. When Wyatt came home last night, he was shattered in a way that still makes my chest ache.
Then, he told me—really told me—what Caleb’s mother planned.
She didn’t just plan our deaths, but her own child’s.
That’s when I lost it too, and we cried together.
Caleb is joy, innocence, sweetness, and curiosity all wrapped up in a little boy who just wants to be loved.
To know that the woman who brought him into the world—a woman who was supposed to protect and care for him above all others—could calmly plan his murder like he meant nothing destroyed me.
And God, I know it is so much worse for my man.
I held Wyatt while he cried. His large body shook with each sob. The sound was so full of grief, rage, and disbelief that it sounded as if it was being torn from his very soul when it began pouring out of him.
I held him while he told me everything, his voice hoarse and raw.
He blamed himself and kept trying to understand how he had missed something so evil and vile.
I held him and whispered how much I love him, how grateful I am to be the woman in his life, and a million other things.
I knew none of it could fix what he was going through.
There was no magical balm that could help, but damn, I continued to try.
I hope—desperately hope—that I did somehow help him see none of this is his fault. Wyatt is the best man I’ve ever known. I’m going to spend the rest of my life making sure he knows that. I just need him to try to believe it right now as we work together to put all of this behind us.
“You’re staring at me,” he says, his gruff voice piercing the quiet chaos of my mind.
I jerk, startled that I had lost myself so completely in the memories of the night before.
My fingers immediately slide into his hair, sifting through the thick strands, keeping his head right where it is.
I don’t want him to move yet. I don’t want to break the tenderness that has wrapped around us right now. It feels too right.
“I was just lying here thinking about how completely in love with you I am,” I confess softly.
“I like that,” he murmurs, his soft lips kissing my chest.
“I’m so happy I met you, Wyatt. I was lost until I felt your touch.”
“I feel the same way, baby,” he agrees, making me smile.
“Thank God I let you browbeat me into going out with you,” I joke.
He huffs out a quiet laugh and tightens his arm around me. “Oh please. You were begging me to take you out.”
I smile. “Well … I was secretly hoping you would beg me.”
He lifts his head just enough to look at me, his eyes warm and serious all at once.
“I would have. If you hadn’t agreed to go out with me, I was prepared to beg and plead.
I knew from the beginning you were special, Gwen.
I didn’t want to live one more day without you in my life, honey.
I was right too. You’re my fucking world.
You have been since the moment I first saw you. ”
My heart swells so full it almost hurts. I kiss him, slow and deep, letting him take control for a moment—until it starts to tilt into something heavier. I pull back just enough to rest my forehead against his. Sadly, there are still a few things we need to discuss.
“What do you think about my canceling our family Christmas?” I ask quietly,
His brows draw together. “Why would you do that?”
“With everything you went through last night, I was just thinking maybe we should keep it small. Just you, me, and Caleb.”
He snorts softly. “You forgot Buddy.”
I smile. “Buddy goes without saying. He’s basically glued to you and Caleb twenty-four-seven.”
Wyatt exhales and sits up against the headboard.
I curl right into him, my arms tight around his middle, my cheek pressed to his chest. “I don’t want to change our plans,” he says after a moment.
“I want Caleb to have the best Christmas ever. I want him to think his mother agreed to let him stay here for a while. After we fill his sweet soul with the best memories we can, you and I will sit down with him. Then we will explain that his mother got into trouble with the law and can’t keep him anymore.
We’ll make it clear he’s going to live with us and that you will be his mom.
Once he’s comfortable with that, you and I are getting married.
I don’t care if we do it at the courthouse or you plan the biggest wedding ever created.
I just want my ring on your finger, and I want my son secure in the knowledge he has two parents who love him. ”
My throat tightens. “If that’s what you want, that’s what we’ll do,” I respond without hesitation.
He pulls back, searching my face. “You’d really agree to that?”
“Absolutely, but I warn you, I do want a big-ass wedding.”
He grins. “Then, it’s yours.” He takes a deep breath. “What about adopting Caleb?”
“If it’s possible, I’d be honored,” I tell him without a second of hesitation.
“I’ll have my lawyers talk to Dee. Maybe if she thinks I’ll tell the judge she put Caleb’s needs first and gave him up so you could adopt him, and ask for leniency, she’ll sign over her rights.”
“Are you actually going to do that?” I ask, alarm flashing through me. “Because I don’t want them going easy on her. She’s a monster. And it would make me the happiest woman in the world if she spent the rest of her life in jail.”
His mouth curves into something sharp. “Fuck no. I want her to suffer. However, if she wants to delude herself into believing of the lies I will feed her, I’ll use it to our advantage.”
I nod slowly. “Okay. So, it’s a plan.”
“It’s a plan,” he agrees.
“Well, if we’re doing family dinner, we need to get moving. I have a feeling Mal will be here early—and an even stronger feeling Storm will be the first of your men to show up.”
He chuckles. “You’re probably right.” His eyes pierce mine as he gazes at me, his face full of hunger and love—all directed at me. “Come shower with me. We’re short on time, but I really want to make love to you. I need it like I need air.”
I lace my fingers with his and squeeze. “I do too.”
He leads me out of bed and toward the bathroom, and for the first time since last night, the weight on my chest eases just a little. We’re going to be okay. We can handle anything as long as we’re together.