Chapter 13 #2
“How about we try on the next one?” the attendant, a smartly dressed woman with an enormous smile named Valerie, said. Valerie offered her arm to help Naomi down from the pedestal.
For her first wedding, her gown had been a very simple tea-length white dress she’d ordered online from Mod Cloth.
She hadn’t even gone to a bridal store to try on wedding dresses, so this entire experience was new, including how bulky and heavy the dresses were.
As she dragged herself towards the changing area, feeling a bit like Quasimodo climbing the tower, her watch tickled her wrist, alerting her to an incoming message. It was from Will.
As the text rolled onto the screen, she saw it was a group message to her, Riley and Becca. But no Abby. That could only mean one thing …
WILL: Umm … so there’s a slight change in plans.
RILEY: You all are going to love this
WILL: You know how I was going to have my cousin be my groomsman? The NGN higher ups made a last-minute call.
As the attendant began undoing the ribbons down the back of her dress, Naomi watched the bubbles on her wrist and waited.
BECCA: Who?
WILL: It’s Freya.
And they want her to be the “best man.”
Naomi gasped.
Valerie looked up. “Oh, sorry, am I hurting you?”
“No, no,” she assured her and then looked back at her watch.
WILL: You understand what this means right?
RILEY: Freya and Abby have to walk down the aisle together after the ceremony.
BECCA: Freya and Abby have to walk into the reception together
WILL: Freya and Abby have to sit together at the wedding reception table
Thankfully, “OMG” was one of the pre-written responses she could choose from on her watch. She hit it twice, for good measure.
NAOMI: OMG
OMG
RILEY: OMG indeed. This is excellent news
No, this was most definitely not excellent.
She looked towards the door—her phone was sitting on a chair on the other side of it.
Should she try and get it? She pictured herself dragging her half-laced-up dress out the door to grab her phone and decided against it, instead tapping the talk-to-text.
She whispered into it as softly as she could.
NAOMI: This is a nightmare!
“Sorry?” Valerie said, looking up.
Busted. “Oh, no … I’m … I’m texting on my watch.” She pointed to her wrist.
The attendant gave a professional smile, but the veneer of ‘ummm, ok’ peeked out from her eyes. She gave a tug to the dress, and it fell to the floor in a shimmery pile. “You can step out,” she instructed.
Naomi complied, keeping her eyes on the watch.
BECCA: This is going to get so awkward so fast. I’m here for every minute of it.
RILEY: You’re all missing the point. This is it! Check. Mate.
It had been months since The Plan had first been enacted, and with everything else going on, she had almost forgotten about it. But it seemed Riley had not. They were still waiting for the moment that would set the rest of The Plan in motion. And they seemed to think her wedding was it.
WILL: You think this is going to be checkmate?
RILEY: Weddings are all about sex and desperation. What bridesmaid HASN’T tried to get laid at a wedding?
BECCA: Not me, that’s for sure.
RILEY: Weddings are nature’s pressure cooker. Add in the media component and the fact that they have to do all of these public activities together?
A series of bomb emojis filled her screen.
Naomi tapped the microphone icon, brought her watch to her mouth, and tried to say even more quietly:
NAOMI: I’m not really excited about the idea of bombs at my wedding.
Valerie, who was across the room gathering up the next dress, looked over but said nothing.
WILL: I think they’ll be able to keep it together for the ceremony. It’s not like they’re going to go at it—one way or another—while they’re standing at the altar
BECCA: Have you met my sister …?
“Okay, here we go.” The attendant knelt in front of her, holding open the top of a new dress. “Hop on in.”
She stepped into the dress, and the attendant lifted it up around her in one motion and then held out the delicate lace sleeves. Naomi quickly slipped her arms through them so she could continue looking at her watch.
RILEY: The question is not whether they’ll be able to keep it together during the wedding but whether they’ll be able to be separated after the wedding.
BECCA: Also, if they do have an epic blowout at your wedding, imagine what it will do for your ratings. So really, positive outcomes all around.
RILEY: Becca is making some excellent points today.
The attendant was behind Naomi again, beginning the process of buttoning up her back. Naomi leaned in towards her wrist but didn’t bother to whisper this time.
NAOMI: There’s no way out of this?
Valerie probably thought Naomi was trying to get out of her marriage while trying on wedding dresses. She wondered if she should explain the situation to her. But she wasn’t even sure she’d be able to if she tried.
WILL: I don’t see how.
To be honest, I’m happy to have Freya as my best man. If it weren’t for that whole “epic blowout” factor of course …
Yes, if it weren’t for that one tiny thing.
RILEY: I’m not even worried. My plan is flawless.
“Done! What do you think?”
Naomi had been so busy following the drama on her wrist, she hadn’t noticed that she was in a wedding dress.
And it was gorgeous.
“Wow,” she said, looking at the dressing room mirror and rotating left and right, watching the waterfall of white glisten in the light with each turn.
It was elegant but simple, sexy but tasteful.
It hugged her in the places she wanted to be hugged and was forgiving in the areas she wanted forgiveness.
And it was light; the silky skirt was long and full but not weighed down with all the heavy layers and crystal and beads and whatever else made those other dresses feel like there was an anvil in the pockets.
Not that they even had pockets. She could picture herself walking down the aisle in this dress, rather than hauling herself and her dress down the aisle. “I kind of really love it.”
“Ready to show it off?”
Naomi nodded, and Valerie opened the door to the dressing room.
The sounds of approval that greeted her as soon as she stepped out confirmed how she was feeling. She hopped onto the pedestal feeling as light as a feather.
“It fits you like a dream. How do you feel in it?” Abby asked, coming up beside Naomi. “Absolutely stunning.”
“I would definitely do you in that dress,” Becca said.
“I feel … like a bride.” She let out a giggle as she said it.
“Is this the one?” Abby asked.
Naomi looked at herself in the mirror. She saw herself standing in front of Will, promising to love him for all time, in this dress. She nodded, the joy manifesting as tears in her eyes. “It’s the one.”
“It’s the one!” Abby repeated with an excited squeal.
The attendant bent down and arranged the skirt that was draped on the floor.
“This is such a romantic train. And it bustles nicely too. It’s a bit complicated to do because the lace is so delicate, but the end result is really beautiful.
” She looked at Abby. “That’s usually the Maid of Honor’s job. Are you up to the challenge?”
Abby leaned in to examine the constellation of tiny buttons on the back of the dress.
“You see,” Valerie said, demonstrating. “These little loops on the end of the train pop onto the buttons up here on the dress, so that all that extra fabric is out of the way when it’s time to bust a move on the dance floor.
But it takes a little work to find each loop and get it to hook on properly. ”
Naomi watched in the mirror as Abby bent down and attempted to copy what the attendant had done.
Whatever she was trying to do was not going well because within a few minutes, she was sprawled across the floor, bottom lip firmly planted between her teeth as she examined the dress like she was conducting a fragile scientific experiment.
Finally, she looked up at Naomi and gave a pained grimace.
“This dress is amazing, but did you have to say yes to a dress that has a Rubik’s Cube for a bustle?
” Abby glanced at the camera swirling around her and said under her breath, “They’re going to love this, I’m sure. ”
“Don’t worry,” the attendant said. “They’ll demonstrate it again at the fitting.”
“I’m going to need more than a demonstration. I’m going to need a road map and a week to practice.” Abby squinted. “I can’t even see half these buttons.”
“The fitting is generally at least a week before the wedding, but because of the,” Valerie gave a small, polite cough, “Condensed timeline, we don’t have that luxury.
It’ll take almost a week to get the dress in, so we’ll be doing the final fitting two days before the wedding, and you won’t have the dress until the day before. ”
“The day before?” Abby made another, unsuccessful attempt to slip one of the buttons through the corresponding loop. “Girl, you’re going to be late for your reception because I’ll be spending two hours trying to get these buttoned.”
“Don’t worry,” Valerie said. “I’ve been doing this for years, and I know the foolproof way to ensure you’ll be ready on the wedding day.”
“I’m listening,” Abby replied.
“The night before the wedding, get some drinks in your system. When everything gets a bit fuzzy, then practice. Then drink a little more and practice some more. When it’s time for the reception, have a glass of champagne and watch your muscle memory kick in like magic.”
“Now,” Becca said, coming closer to inspect Abby’s work. “This is solely a Maid of Honor thing, right? I’m not expected to spend my night—”
“You’re off the hook,” Naomi assured her.
“Thank God. I love you and all, but that’s not really where I shine.
” She waved her hand in the general direction of Naomi’s train.
“But I do shine at being a cheerleader and coming up with great hashtags. Like … hashtag bitches be bustling! Ooo, that is good.” She turned her attention back to her phone, no doubt to get the hashtag trend started.
“Sounds like we have a plan for the night before the wedding, Abby,” Naomi said. “You heard your sister. Hashtag bitches be bustling.”
“God help me.”
“Well then.” Naomi laughed. “I’m ready to get out of this dress so you can start trying on bridesmaids’ dresses!”
A woman with a clipboard and headset stepped out from behind the cameras.
The camera crews that followed her and Will always came equipped with a producer, who—despite being called producer—served as a sort of director for the unfolding show of their lives.
It seemed more than a little odd to have someone show her where to stand, interview her at random moments, and even instruct her what to say at times, but bill, foot, no questions.
Will had explained to her that if this were a full-fledged reality program, they’d be paired with one, maybe two, people for the entirety of their time but since Nightly Global News was a news program and not in the business of reality TV, it was more like producer popcorn and they were getting whoever at the station was available. Today, they had someone named Natalie.
“While we wait for Naomi to change out of her dress, let’s do some CCI’s,” Natalie said.
CCIs, which stood for Confession Cam Interviews, had taken some extra getting used to.
Stopping everything to give the behind-the-scenes interviews that revealed to the audience a peek into what Naomi was thinking and feeling was a bizarre experience, to say the least. “Abby, why don’t we start with you? ”
Natalie gestured towards a spot in the room where a few cameras and some very bright lights were waiting for her.
As Abby’s interview began, Valerie helped Naomi down from the podium.
“Abby, how is dress shopping going?” she heard Natalie say, throwing Abby a softball question.
“Dress shopping is going amazing,” Abby said. “Naomi found a dress and it makes her look like she belongs on the cover of a bridal magazine.”
“Now I heard you all talking about the bustle. What was going on with that?”
Even from across the room, Naomi could spot Abby’s side eye. “Well, it sounds like I’m going to need some extra practice. But we’ve got a plan.” The door to the dressing room closed. Naomi would have to wait until tomorrow to hear the rest of the interview.