Chapter 10
Another sleepless night. Elizabeth lay in bed, her mood not inclined to begin another day.
She watched the early morning light begin to show the outline of the woodland beyond the house, although the moon was full enough to have shown the faint shape of them during the silent hours as she relived her actions on the night that had changed her life.
She knew that now, but try as she might, she could not imagine that she would have done anything differently. Perhaps she despised Mr Darcy, but no man deserved to be attacked like that.
Elizabeth shivered and jumped out of bed, crossing to the ewer of hot water just brought up to her room by Sarah, and washed before turning to dress in her warmest woollen dress and stockings.
Perhaps she would take a short walk in the woods before breakfast to clear her headache.
It might help her tolerate the presence of her mother better.
Later, at breakfast, Mama leaned forward to her second daughter.
“Lizzy, you must tell me what Mr Darcy actually said to you after the ball. I heard from Mrs Long at my sister’s card party what he said he wanted to do to you — oh my!
” She fanned herself frantically and cast a coy look at her husband.
“I can’t tell you girls what it means, of course; you are maidens, after all.
But, Lizzy, you might be curious, having heard it and I will … ”
“Mrs Bennet!” Papa banged his fist on the table and jumped to his feet.
“I do not wish you to repeat here all the lies that are spreading around the town. You will go to your chambers now until I have decided whether you are a fit mother to my daughters or I should send you far away!” His face was mottled purple with rage, and Elizabeth, along with her sisters, stared at him in shock.
“I am ashamed of you, woman. Both at your utter ignorance and stupidity in thinking a young woman like Lizzy is capable of inflicting such injuries as have been reported; and your careless tongue which has already ruined your daughters’ prospects — yes; all of them.
” He leaned forward. “Your chamber. Go now!”
I hope he does not suffer an apoplexy. Elizabeth was as shocked at his reaction as she was at what Mama had insinuated.
There was complete silence as Mama, white-faced, looked fearfully at her husband before leaving the room. Her wails could be heard as she climbed the stairs.
Papa sat back down, still breathing heavily. He glared over at his youngest daughters. “Lydia, Kitty, you will not leave the house today. You will spend the morning in your chambers while I decide whether you ought to be sent away to school.”
“But, Papa!” Lydia whined, and Elizabeth shook her head. Foolish child, she never considers when it might be better to be silent.
“No. I will not listen.” Papa sounded resolute. “The school for wayward girls, many miles from any town or village, is much cheaper than a proper school or a governess. Do not tempt me.”
Kitty jumped to her feet fearfully and tugged at Lydia’s sleeve.
In silence, the three older girls watched them leave and then turned to their father.
He suddenly looked tired and much wearier.
Then he looked over at the housekeeper, who had pressed herself against the sideboard where she had entered just at the wrong moment with a fresh jug of coffee.
Her expression of shock mirrors the feelings of everyone else in the room.
Elizabeth’s thoughts almost made her smile.
Papa did not smile. “Yes, more coffee is very welcome, Hill. You are not to repeat what you have heard, neither are you to answer my wife’s bell if she rings for you. I will go up to speak to her shortly.”
Elizabeth’s appetite had not been much in evidence this past week, and now it was gone completely. Glancing around, she saw it was the same for her sisters and Papa, who sipped at his fresh coffee, looking grim.
Elizabeth drew up as much confidence as she could. “Papa, should we leave you?”
He shook his head and looked round at the three of them.
“No, my dears. I am sorry you had to witness this; I ought to have kept myself under better regulation.” His heavy sigh seemed the harbinger of defeat, and Elizabeth could hardly bear it.
She jumped up and went to the head of the table to embrace him.
“I am sorry, Papa. I could not have imagined that what I did would cause this.”
“No, Lizzy. You did nothing wrong. The blame lies with the servants for not coming to your aid at once; I would never have expected — or wanted — you to leave a man to his death.”
Jane’s face was white. “Is it really true that we are all ruined?” Her whisper was almost inaudible.
Papa shook his head. “I will be honest with you girls. It is … not good. Sir William came last evening and acquainted me with what Lady Lucas has heard. I can hardly believe our neighbours would have such depraved imaginations.”
Elizabeth’s voice was cold. “I expect the worst of it has come from the militia.”
His eyebrows rose. “I had not considered that. But now you have said it, I believe you are right. It might mean I need to send you all to London for a time until a fresh scandal takes the memories away from our neighbours.” He shook his head and rose from the table rather more slowly than he had before.
“Might you take my coffee through to my book room for me, Lizzy? I must go and put your mother on notice.” He gave her a long look, full of meaning, before leaving the room — and she understood what was going to happen.
“What could he mean …” Mary murmured, “… the way he looked at you, Lizzy?”
“I imagine a forced marriage to a proud and disdainful man whom I despise.” Elizabeth sat back down with a thump.
“But you can’t.” Jane’s eyes filled with tears. “You know, we always …”
Elizabeth nodded grimly. “But. It is the most awful word in the English language today. However, I will take Papa’s coffee in. I suppose we shall have to endure our neighbours calling to pretend sympathy and leer over me.”
The elder three sisters sat quietly in the parlour, busy with their needlework; after all, the poor box must be supported with their mending for charity. There was nothing to say, until they heard the sound of gravel scattering under a horse’s hooves.
Elizabeth glanced up. Colonel Fitzwilliam.
Cold seeped through her; she could think of only two possible outcomes.
He was certainly bringing news. She must marry a man she disliked to save her sisters, or Mr Darcy was worse and might pass, in which case their ruin was irredeemable.
She hardly knew which would be worse for her.
Silence fell again; they had already turned away a group of officers from the militia, as well as Aunt Phillips and Mrs Long. Perhaps she would be fortunate and only Charlotte might appear. She wondered drearily what the Colonel and Papa were talking about.
Shrugging slightly, she knew she would soon find out. And at that moment the door opened and Papa looked in.
“Lizzy, will you come with me, please?”
As she turned to secure her needle and place the shirt in her workbasket, Jane placed her hand on her sister’s. “I hope all will be well, Lizzy. After all, he must care for your reputation.”
All she could do was nod. She knew it was not her reputation that mattered to him, but his — and that of his young sister.
She followed Papa to her fate. In the library, Colonel Fitzwilliam rose to his feet and bowed formally to her, his eyes grave and unsettling.
Elizabeth curtsied to return his greeting before settling herself in the upright chair near Papa’s desk.
She refused to glance at the worn library chair where she used to curl up as a child, back in those days when she could feel utterly secure.
There was no security here for her now, and her lips tightened.
There was silence while they waited for the trays to be refreshed, and Elizabeth forced herself to politeness.
“Are you able to tell me, sir, does your cousin’s condition continue to improve?”
He nodded. “I thank you, yes. He is now able to sit out in a chair for an hour, though it wearies him.”
She nodded. Mr Darcy was fortunate that his income did not rely on any need to work, or he would have had to progress a great deal faster.
But he is not declining. It seems marriage is in my future — and not the one of deepest love that I was determined on. She looked at her hands folded demurely in her lap and was glad there was no outward sign of her distress.
When the trays arrived, she poured coffee for the gentlemen and tea for herself, and placed the pastries close enough to them, before retaking her seat.
The Colonel thanked her solemnly. “May I speak to you, Miss Bennet?”
Her attempt to smile felt more like a grimace. “I have been expecting it.”
He smiled too, sympathy more evident than amusement, and she was grateful to him.
“Very well, madam. I had better not keep you waiting, then.” He put his plate down and picked up his cup, cradling it in his hands for warmth, much as Papa did.
“I understand you are aware of the depth of the rumours brewing scandal in the town. And you must know that if not alleviated, they will spread to London — Darcy is an important figure there.”
“I do understand,” she murmured.
“But there are other matters I would like you to be aware of before any decisions are taken in this room.”
Elizabeth clutched at her own cup, needing the occupation and something to gaze at. Her thoughts came, fast and bitter.
You want me to be aware that he is a proud wealthy gentleman from the first circles and I cannot possibly be considered a suitable Mrs Darcy. You want me to be aware of how fortunate I am that he will wed me, despite thinking I am not handsome, that I come from the lower gentry …