Chapter 58
Darcy knocked at the Gardiner’s front door the next morning. His heart was lighter than it had been for a long time — Elizabeth had said he could continue to call on her! If she was firmly decided against him, she would not have done that, would she?
Mrs Gardiner came out of the sitting room as he was giving his hat and gloves to the footman. “Good morning, Mr Darcy. Lizzy is waiting for you, and refreshments will be brought in soon.”
He bowed at her. “I thank you, Mrs Gardiner. I trust the family is well?”
“Very well, thank you. My husband has taken Mr Bennet to his warehouse this morning, so you are free of any knowing looks.”
Darcy smiled. “I can tolerate those with equanimity, madam. I am just grateful you are permitting me to call here.” The knowing look on her face was quite enough for him, although he would not, of course, say anything.
As he entered the sitting room, he saw Elizabeth rise to her feet and bowed to her. She curtsied briefly. “Good morning, Mr Darcy. I must thank you for the unexpected arrival of the flowers. They are delightful.” She gestured to the table, where his hothouse bouquet was displayed in a vase.
He could feel the heat on his neck, why did he blush? “I hoped they would give you some enjoyment of the outdoors when you had to be inside.”
“Sit down sir, the tea will be arriving very soon.” She indicated the chair beside her and he gratefully hurried over and took the seat, catching her lavender scent more clearly than that of the flowers.
He wished he could lift her hand to his lips, but it was too soon, and she was not wearing gloves. His lips pulsed at the thought, and he pushed it away.
Her eyes had more sparkle in them today, and his spirits rose. She was almost like his memories of her on those days she had stayed at Netherfield to care for her sister.
He smiled slightly. “You feel light-hearted this morning.”
Her eyebrow arched. “I do. I have had an hour in the nursery with my four little cousins. They can cheer anyone with their enjoyment of the moment.”
They waited while the tray was brought in and he thanked her gravely for the tea she had poured.
“So, what are we going to talk about today?” she asked lightly.
“I can see you have decided already, Elizabeth. And so I will follow your opening gambit.” He felt ridiculously pleased with himself when she laughed merrily.
“Mr Darcy, did you just make a joke?”
“I made an attempt, madam. Although they often fall flat, so you might have to forgive those.”
“Well, this one worked perfectly if one knows chess, which I do, so it requires no forgiveness.”
He dipped his head. “I thank you. And the conversation you have decided on?”
She nodded. “It is a weighty one, I am afraid.” She looked up at him. “When I … when I left Pemberley, I was determined that I would chart my own course; that I would be dependent on no one.”
Darcy swallowed. A weighty subject indeed. He nodded, but there was nothing to say. He knew she did not need reminding that it was a dangerous world for an unprotected lady.
After a pause, she continued. “As you might have discerned, I found the world a dangerous place, although I was fortunate in those early days, that I met only kindly women and no men who might have,” she swallowed, “wished me harm.”
Darcy could not help himself. He reached for her hand. She looked down, but allowed it, although she did not turn hers and grasp his.
“And in the later days?” he murmured.
Her brow furrowed slightly. “You are thinking of Mr Price.”
“I am,” he nodded.
“He was never a danger — at least, I thought not. But his attentions began to become a little onerous. He told me about the loss of his wife, five years ago, that sort of thing.” She gave a quiet, sad laugh.
“I guessed he was going to wait until Nan died and then he might make me an offer. After all, I was not costing him anything, and the villagers thought he was very devoted to ensure she had care night and day … which she did not have before I arrived.”
Darcy noticed her voice was rather indignant. Not so much, he thought, about the lack of payment, but the assumption of respect for something the man had not done. He squeezed her hand.
“Well, and then you came, and I began to think that he was not so safe after all. Although I was sad I could not be there for Nan.” She sat up straighter. “But Mrs Simmonds was with her, and it was very few hours.”
“You can be proud of what you did.” Darcy kept his voice quiet.
“Thank you.” She was silent for some time, but Darcy felt he ought to stay quiet, allow her the choice of when to return to the previous subject.
“But, to return.” Her voice was firmer. “An independent woman.” She grimaced slightly.
“I believe that is not possible in this world we live in, not really. Even at the Price cottage, I was only there because he allowed it, and he paid for food and firewood, at least. The longer I stayed there, the more he knew I would feel obligated.”
Darcy thought back. “He said ‘you knew and you said nothing’. Did he believe you would agree to a marriage?”
“I think so.” Elizabeth looked pensive. “I did try to indicate that I was not interested in that, but I knew not how to say it was impossible that I marry.” Another silence.
Then she sat up straight; determined. “As you know, when he found out, he made me leave at once, regardless of Nan, and without any belongings. That is not the sort of man I would want, even if I was free to marry.”
Darcy squeezed her hand again. “Thinking about this must be inexpressibly painful for you.”
She blinked, and he saw her eyes fill with tears. “Thank you for understanding. I believe it is enough for today. Might we talk of something lighter for the rest of your call?”
“Of course. Whatever pleases you.” His heart bounded. She had said it was enough for today. That must mean he would be calling again.
“Another day,” he ventured, “we might end a difficult call with a visit to Hatchards?”
It was the right comment. Her face lit up. “Oh, that would be wonderful!” She looked amused. “The two books I took to Pemberley had been my favourites, but now I know them by heart and I really no longer like them.”
He winced. “I am so sorr—”
This time she squeezed his hand. “Do not be. I told myself I ought not to enter your library; but I could have asked the butler or your valet to ask you if I might.” She huffed another quiet laugh. “It was me, too determined to be independent, and far too proud to ask.”
“But still, I ought to …”
“Let us not fight for a share of the blame, Mr Darcy. I will look forward to a visit to Hatchards next time and let us be done with it.”
He stood up, “I thank you for allowing me to call, and I too, will look forward to escorting you there.” He hesitated a moment. “I believe my cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam, will call on me soon. Might I ask permission that he accompany me on a future day?”
She rose to her feet, too. “Of course, although I would prefer to know which day it will be before you arrive with him.”
“I will send a note, Elizabeth.”