Chapter 70
She said she was sorry for causing me pain! Darcy’s heart bounded. “You have ever been deserving of all the care I might offer, Elizabeth. I was the one …” Her finger across his lips silenced him, and the intimacy of the moment stopped his heart.
“No more self-recrimination, sir.” Her eyes danced, and he felt the acute loss of her finger leaving his lips, as they pulsed with longing. “Remember the past only as it gives us pleasure. And I remember the pleasure I had in discovering that you had refurbished this dower house just for me.”
He smiled faintly. “And I remember clearly the joy I felt when you informed me you would return here.” And the joy he felt now, in having this conversation with her — he would remember it for the rest of his life.
The conversation turned towards the tenants and any changes over the time she had been away.
As he accepted his coat and hat from the footman, he turned back to her as they stepped to the door.
“I thank you, Elizabeth, for the dinner and your company this evening. It has been delightful.” Then he hesitated.
“Societal expectations mean I should reciprocate the invitation, but my promise denies me that — unless you should indicate to me that such an invitation would be welcomed.” He raised his eyebrows questioningly.
Her own eyebrow arched in response. “I would welcome receiving such an invitation to dine, Mr Darcy. Mrs Westby is a remarkable cook; I hope she has not retired?”
“She remains in charge of the kitchens of Pemberley, madam.” His wife was incredible, after all the pain of her time here, and the months she had been gone, yet she remembered so many names, so many circumstances.
He pushed back the mortification that he had long felt, that she would remember his helplessness as she saved him from the attack.
One day he would be able to forget … the embarrassment, not the fact that she had raced to his aid, heedless of any danger to herself.
Her head was on one side, considering him as he had been distracted.
“Remember, Mr Darcy, to think only of the past as it gives you pleasure.”
He bowed slightly. “I remember. But, what to do if a memory gives both pleasure and pain?”
“Hmm. I shall think on that and give you an answer tomorrow.”
Tomorrow! She expected to see him on the morrow! He took her hand and bowed over it. “I shall anticipate tomorrow all the more, Elizabeth. I thank you for the dinner, and bid you farewell.”
He had not brought the coach such a short distance, and strode out briskly on the half-mile walk to stay warm. The chill in the air reminded him that October was half-way through already.
He must speak to Mr Reed and check the estate was in readiness for the winter months and the coming festive season.
He frowned. Perhaps Mrs Ashley, the housekeeper’s deputy, was up to date with the preparations and knew how well Mrs Kerr had been doing with all the extra duties he had piled upon her at the dower house.
He would find out. And, more importantly, he must find out if the kitchens could provide dinner for two tomorrow. No, tomorrow might be too soon.
He laughed to himself; of course the kitchen could provide dinner for two; after all, even for one, there was always more than he could eat, even now his appetite was fully returned.
The next morning found him strolling the newly familiar paths, greatly anticipating his wife’s approach. His stomach lurched as her voice preceded her. “Good morning, sir! I believe we have timed it well, I think it will rain shortly.”
He turned and treasured the view of her striding towards him without showing the slightest hesitation.
It seemed her confidence in his trustworthiness was growing.
Bowing, he glanced at the clouds. “I fear you are right, madam. Perhaps we should walk the paths closest to the house so you may go indoors the moment it begins.”
She nodded cheerfully, and fell into step with him.
Carefully, he offered his arm and was delighted when she accepted it.
“I have had the path round here at the back of the house replanted with lavender borders, Elizabeth. Look, you can just see the shrubs. It will take a few years of course, to show their full glory.”
Elizabeth didn’t reply, and his anxiety rose. “Have I offended you, Elizabeth? I would not wish to cause you …”
“No, no! Not at all, sir.” Her voice was a little unsteady. “It is just that I am finding out the depths of the changes you have made for my benefit, even when you were not certain you would ever find me.”
“I have always been certain that I would search until I found you. I just agonised not knowing that you were safe and not living in terrible circumstances.” He shuddered. “I never want you tempted to leave again.”
There was an emotional silence between them for several minutes, until finally, she spoke.
“Come now, Mr Darcy. Let us talk of other things before it rains and abbreviates our walk on a sad note.” She straightened.
“We have much to talk of, and one thing I wished to request is that I might sit in your library with you for an hour or so one afternoon when you have a little time to spare.”
His heart felt too large for his chest. He swallowed. “That would give me the greatest of pleasure, Elizabeth. I will be free whenever you name the time that is convenient for you.”