Chapter 73
Elizabeth had seen Darcy riding out with his steward not long after breakfast, as she walked towards Pemberley house with Mrs Kerr. So she was more relaxed that explanations would come later as she and the housekeeper entered the mistress’s apartment.
She wasn’t entirely sure why it had seemed important to her that she should see them today, properly finished as they had not been when she left Pemberley so long ago.
Today they appeared completed; she had chosen the wallpaper, the fabrics for the curtains and the style of the furnishings.
She had discussed the placement of the furniture and seen some of it in place.
But the final arrangement of the smaller pieces — she could order them to her better satisfaction.
She gazed for a long time at the large bed within the bedchamber. Then she turned away to examine the closets and bathing chamber, not allowing herself to think too deeply as to why she was here.
She knew there was a momentous decision to be made, and crossed to the window. The peaks were further away on this side of the house, her gaze had to pass over the sloping lawn with the ancient oak in the centre, cross the quiet lake and rise over the farms and fields to the distant hills.
But she could come to love this view, too. And she could keep the guest chamber she had previously used as it still was. After all, she was mistress here; the use of any particular chamber was her decision and there were many other guest chambers.
She was mistress here. That thought remained with her.
So it was right that she ought to live here, too.
She may not have been at the dower house very long, but it was no longer necessary to her.
However, she did not want to move back if it was only because it was right; there was a more important reason, and she had slept ill as she pondered over how to take the next steps.
Her husband had taken extraordinary steps; spent an extraordinary amount of time searching for her, and done an extraordinary action in writing the promises which had given her the confidence to return here, to the estate where she had been so unhappy.
Now, the next move was hers. He had said he would never impose, but would wait for her. And now she knew she needed to wait no longer, even if the sight of the as yet unused bed had rather unnerved her.
And just as she thought that, there was the sound from the hallway of hurrying boots towards the master’s chambers. She smiled to herself, and stayed standing by the window. He would see the door was open.
He drew level with the door and stopped abruptly. His gaze met hers, and she smiled at him.
“Come in, Mr Darcy.” And then she turned to the housekeeper.
“Might you send refreshments to this sitting room, please, Mrs Kerr?”
Once the woman had gone, she saw he was still standing at the threshold. “I ought to change, Elizabeth. I am all dusty from the road.”
“I do not mind a little dust, sir, and we have much to discuss. Please come in. I am sure Mr Maunder will not mind waiting longer.”
Elizabeth attempted to hide her smile at his cautious steps. He must be attempting not to permit his hopes to run away with him. But she would not tease him, not today.
“Anna calls you William. I can quite see why Fitzwilliam is rather too much of a mouthful for family moments. May I call you William?”
His eyes lit up. “To hear my name on your lips will be a dream come true, Elizabeth.”
She reached for his hand. “Come with me, William.” She drew him to the window.
“I believe I will keep the old guest chamber as a sentimental sitting room, but I can grow to love this view, too.” She glanced up at him.
He was not looking at the view from the window, but regarding her face with tenderness and warmth.
“I spent much of the night pondering on what we had not actually ended up discussing, and I finally understood. It is not that solitude does not suit me, although it does not. It is your absence that weighs on me. It is your happiness that is important to me — and it is you I wish to be beside for the rest of my life.” She drew a deep breath and took his hand. He would wait for her, she knew.
“I love you, William. I know that now. And I should like very much to come home.”
She could say no more, for he crushed her to him in a desperate embrace as if he could never let her go, never lose her again.