CHAPTER 22 Millie Monroe
Smile, Relax
As we get off the elevator on the ninth floor of the tower we’re both staying in, I ask, “Does the spa count as an excursion?”
“In the technical sense, an excursion is an activity or experience, right? So I’d say yes. I mean, I definitely had an experience back there. A fucking revelation, really. Why?” he asks.
“So we can check excursion sex off the bucket list.” My cheeks heat as I say the words, but the inhibitions are low in my current state of relaxed giddiness—a contradiction, I know, but it’s the only way I can describe what I’m feeling.
He laughs at my assessment. We get to my room, and I flash my keycard at the door. He wheels me in and helps me from the chair back to the couch, and I can’t help myself as he folds up the wheelchair to store it in the corner.
The first thing I do is pick up my phone.
I haven’t had access to it since before we went to the aquarium, a full four hours ago.
Apart from sleep, I can’t think of the last time I was without my phone for four hours.
I spot a text from my mom, and on top of that, my notifications are exploding.
It feels like it’ll take me days to catch up on what I missed, and I know I need to go live.
Maybe I’ll talk about the spa. The massage was great—and became even better at the end, a detail I’ll definitely leave out…
though I’m tempted to talk about the fact that I found a vacation hookup here.
I won’t say his name, obviously, but that doesn’t mean I can’t mention the fact that I met someone who’s making this vacation a whole hell of a lot—
“Millie!” Archer yells, interrupting my thoughts.
“Huh?” I ask, my head whipping over to him. “What?”
“I called your name like four times.”
“Oh, sorry.” I glance at my half-typed reply to my mom about how I’m having a great trip, and I really think I could turn this into a paid partnership—even though in reality I’m still a little doubtful about that—before I set my phone down. “What?”
“Never mind,” he mutters. “I’m heading back to my room. I guess I’ll see you around.”
“What the hell?” I ask. “Why are you leaving?”
“I guess I fooled myself for a minute there, but it’s nothing.” His eyes are on the ground as he says the words.
“What’s nothing?” I press.
He shakes his head a little as his eyes lift to mine. “I thought for a minute you could just, I don’t know…relax. Be away from your phone, your socials, whatever.”
“I was. For four hours. And it was great. But now I’m back, and I missed four hours’ worth of work. I’m not scrolling for fun. I’m scrolling for my job. Don’t you get that?” I ask, not bothering to mention that I was actually texting my mother back when I heard him interrupt me.
“Sure. I guess I just liked the Millie I got to be with for the last four hours,” he says quietly.
“I’m the same Millie.” I force a fake smile as I wave my phone in the air. “With or without this.”
He shakes his head again. “No, you’re not. Back there, you were focused on me. On us. On the fish, on the food, on the fuck. Here, you’re focused on that.” He nods to my phone.
“So I can just never be on my phone around you? You barely even know me, Archer, and I’m here to do a job.”
“Right. Because you’re not letting me get to know you.
You’re putting on the same act you put on when you go live on your socials.
But the Millie you were when it was just the two of us?
That’s someone I could see myself fall—” He cuts himself off.
“That’s someone I could see spending the next month with.
That’s all. I shouldn’t have to compete with your phone. I guess I’ll see you around.”
“See you around?” I demand, and without thinking, I rise to a stand. I wince as the pain shoots through my ankle. “After you fucked me with no condom and stuck your fingers in my ass, that’s all I get? See you around, like it didn’t mean anything at all?”
“After you begged me to make you come, all I got was ignored once you had your device back in your hands. So…yeah. You’re making it pretty clear what it meant.” With those words, he walks out my door, and because of my fucking ankle, I’m powerless to chase after him.
I let out a frustrated grunt of annoyance. The nerve of that man!
Still, a tiny voice in my head can’t help but ask whether I’m the one in the wrong here.
He literally yelled my name to get my attention. He likes me when I’m not on my phone. He liked the intimacy we shared. Maybe he felt unseen because I picked up my phone when I got back.
But it’s for work. I’m only here because of my connection to socials, and that’s something he doesn’t seem to understand about me.
I mean…I could’ve waited. I could’ve said goodbye. We could’ve made plans for later or something so I could have a block of work time.
I could have handled everything differently, but he could have, too. He could be more understanding.
I push off the irritation clawing at me, and I glance around me. I shuffle a few things on the end table beside me, take a deep breath, and warm up my face by smiling and relaxing a few times. Smile, relax. Smile, relax.
I turn the camera to face me, and I stare at myself on the screen for a few beats.
I mean…I can’t go live like this. My mascara and eyeliner are streaked, and I have a huge red blotch on my forehead from lying with my head in the massage table face cradle while getting railed by a pro baseball player.
He didn’t care. He didn’t see the streaked makeup as a detriment to who I am as a person.
It’s a little scary how he can see past all that into what’s inside. The real me. The person I don’t really show anybody at all.
As I stare back at the girl staring at me on the phone screen, I realize the smile isn’t reaching my eyes.
And for the first time, I can’t help but wonder if he’s right.