CHAPTER 38 Archer Bradley
A Hell of a Way to Spend My Birthday
I stare out the airplane window.
Danny chartered this plane, and when I told him that I needed to get the fuck out of here, he told me there was plenty of space.
And there is.
We have two pilots, a flight attendant, and the four of us along with Gabby and Sunny on a plane meant for twelve people. AJ is sleeping across two seats in the back. Cooper has his head bent close to his wife’s, and she’s holding a sleeping two-and-a-half-year-old against her chest.
Danny slides into the seat next to me when we’re an hour into the return flight to Vegas. “Why’d you want to jet out?”
I shrug. “I was leaving in a few days anyway, and you all being here reminded me that I need to get my ass back to the gym instead of the beach.”
“Lies,” he accuses.
I press my lips together and return my gaze back out the window without a reply, falling back into my old habit of shutting out the world.
I may have gone away for a few weeks, but I’m right back where I started.
I left Vegas with a broken heart.
While I was gone, I nursed it back to health only to have it broken again.
Ultimately, she showed her true colors. It didn’t matter what caused it or why. The truth would’ve come out eventually, and I would have seen her for what she is.
I’m better off alone. It was a lesson I thought I learned when my ex married my brother, but as it turns out, it took a completely new relationship to really hammer that one home.
The true answer to Danny’s question is more complicated.
I fell in love. I had my heart broken. She betrayed me. But it wasn’t just that. I was there to lay low, and suddenly…I couldn’t.
I was being recognized everywhere because of one stupid video. Granted, I was going most places with Danny and Cooper, who are much more famous than me. But still. It wasn’t the quiet, peaceful experience I’d been having up to that point. It became more of a nightmare, and so I opted the fuck out.
“Come on, man. Talk to me,” Danny says.
I hold both hands up. “What do you want me to say?”
“That it had something to do with the woman you mentioned. You walked out without a goodbye, and it’s okay to let someone in.”
“How do you know?” I ask.
He shrugs. “I’m very wise, you know.”
“Then why’s Cooper always calling you a dipshit?”
He laughs. “You got me there. But, dude, you always shut everybody out. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that there’s more room on the outside. Keeping it buried doesn’t help anything.”
I know he’s right.
But it’s hard. I don’t talk about this shit—feelings, needs, emotions.
“I fell for the girl, and she’s the one whose video went viral with us in the background. She did it on purpose. She went live knowing someone would recognize us when I specifically told her I didn’t want to be in her content.”
He blows out a breath. “Yeah, that’s a tough one. Can I ask why you didn’t want to appear in her content?”
I nod out the window. “You saw what happened when the four of us were together. That’s why. I don’t need people knowing where I am and what I’m doing.”
He’s quiet, and I think I’ve made my point. But then he asks, “You think you did the right thing by leaving?”
I lift a shoulder. “I don’t know. Yes and no.
But we had an end date stamped on us regardless, so I saved us the trouble.
” I don’t mention that I wanted her to come work with my foundation.
I don’t mention how smart and savvy I found her.
I don’t mention that it wasn’t just those feelings you get when you’re into someone, but that there was a deeper layer that I haven’t experienced with many people in my life.
I keep those pieces of what we shared to myself, just like I keep most everything to myself.
It’s safer this way. The less I let people in, the better the chance I won’t get hurt.
“What are you going to do when you get back home?” he asks.
I hadn’t really thought that far ahead, if I’m being honest. I was dreading the end of my trip. I wanted to find some way to extend it.
And instead, I cut it short early.
At least this way, she can’t hurt me again. It feels like I gained a little bit of my control back by leaving.
So why does it hurt so much? Why does it feel so goddamn wrong?
I’m not sure.
Time will help. Time always helps. I thought it was the end of the world when Tatum and Ford got together, and look at me now, on the other side of that and pining after some new girl.
God, I really am fucked in the head.
“I guess I’ll get back to workouts,” I finally say. “Get ready to get out on the field. Get my head back in the game. All things I should have been doing the whole time I was sitting out instead of focusing on some dead-end relationship that was never meant to pan out.”
He nods, and a text comes in from his wife, so he excuses himself.
I stare out the window, a little lost in thought. A little lost overall, I suppose. I wonder what she’s doing. I wonder if she realizes I’m already gone.
She doesn’t have any way to get in touch with me since we never actually exchanged phone numbers, and it’s better that way. We’re cut off, and we can move on.
It’s how I’ve handled every hard relationship in my life.
It’s why I don’t answer when Ford calls—or anybody else in my family, for that matter.
Speaking of which, I have messages from all of them wishing me a happy birthday.
There’s a group chat, too, one started by Everleigh, and they all wish me a happy birthday with various GIFs in that chat, too.
I don’t reply to any of them.
I can’t.
I’m not really in the mood to celebrate.
And it’s fine. I’ve gotten by just fine these last twenty-eight years on my own, and I’ll get by fine on my own going forward, too.
What a hell of a way to spend my birthday.
Heading home all alone.
I guess before I met Millie, it’s pretty much what I was expecting out of this day anyway.