Prologue #2
I hate the disappointment in his eyes every time I say no.
This life may work for him but it’s not for me.
I’ve wanted to be a lawyer ever since I was six and played courthouse with my cousins.
I won’t be giving up on my dream anytime soon, not when it seems so close I can almost reach it.
I’m getting out of here the first chance I get.
Away from the pig smell, away from Blake Mitchell, and away from being stuck following in my dad’s footsteps like he did.
“Yeah,” I finally say. “I’m gonna go wash up.” I turn around and then crane my neck halfway to the living room. “Oh, and I’m going over to Jimmy’s after dinner if that’s okay.”
“Of course. I’m always happy to see you out having fun with your friends rather than lying in the barn, reading and ignoring life around you.”
“I’m not ignoring life. I’m only taking a break from the hard parts of it while getting lost between the pages of someone’s good days.”
She sighs, face softening. “Well, those stories will be waiting for you when you get home. Making memories at this age won’t.”
She’s right, I know she is, but she also doesn’t understand that one thing is much easier than the other and comes with less risks. I also don’t have to worry about being disappointed, because unlike not being able to choose what my nights out look like, I get to choose which book I read.
Jimmy yanks open the door after my second knock and drags me inside. “It’s about time you got here.”
“What are you talking about?” I quip. “I’m five minutes early.”
“Yeah, and you should be an hour early so I can make sure you don’t have any hidden snacks in your hair.” He looks me up and down, leading me to a living room full of people. Two I’ve never met before, one whom I have a class with but never talk to, and then of course there’s my other two friends.
Lydia waves at me, scooting closer to one of the mystery guys on the couch and clearly showing a major interest in him. I grin, walking toward the empty chair and pausing when I don’t see Stephen anywhere.
“He’s on his way,” Jimmy reassures me. “You might wanna work on your hair in the meantime.”
Reese laughs. “And tuck in that shirt, or maybe just lose the flannel altogether.”
“What’s wrong with my flannel?” I turn my eyes down at him.
“Nothing.” He rolls his eyes. “More layers for Stephen to rip off you, I guess.”
My face heats and I duck my head when I see two sets of eyes watching us. Lydia is still lost in convo with the good?looking blond and Jimmy is handing me one of his dad’s beers.
“You sure he won’t notice these missing?” Reese raises a brow.
Jimmy shakes his head, plopping down on the coffee table as he twists the top off his beer.
“Nah. He never notices shit. He’ll just blame my uncle.
The man’s always coming over and eating all our food.
I’m pretty sure he and my mom are fucking, too, but I bet the two of them would deny it if I asked. ”
We all look at him, mouths gaping, and he rolls his shoulders, taking a swig of his drink.
“Oh, I guess I didn’t tell y’all about all those sounds I heard coming from the garage on one of our half days.
An hour later, they both came out adjusting their clothes and didn’t notice me standing in the hallway. ”
“Fuck, man,” Reese spits out. “That blows. You gonna tell your old man?”
“Nah,” he sputters. “No point. He’s always going out all night and never telling anyone where he is, so I’m not sure he’s so innocent himself.
Once my ass is out of here and away from it all, then they can live however the hell they want without getting me caught in the middle.
” He sips from his bottle, face passive, and looks completely unbothered.
“Still sucks,” I add. “They shouldn’t be doing all that shit knowing you could be home at any given moment.”
“Yeah, but I guess it doesn’t matter when you become too selfish to care about anything other than your own needs.”
“I hear that,” I rasp.
Jimmy’s eyes meet mine. “You still being hounded by your dad over the farm shit?”
“Yup.” I blow out a sigh, flexing my legs. I don’t want to focus on the issues in my life while having fun with my friends, but they seem to follow me anyway. They live in the back of my mind, growing loud at random moments. I guess to remind me not to get too comfortable.
A knock has us all looking toward the door and Jimmy jumps up to answer it, whipping his head around to look over his shoulder and running his hands through his hair while gesturing to mine.
Laughing, I pick up one of Jimmy’s mom’s crystal figurines and use it as a mirror, fixing my hair to where it’s going in one direction.
Stephen steps in seconds after Jimmy pulls the door open, and walks past him, waving at everyone. His eyes lock on mine and his smile has my heart stammering. “Hey.”
“Hey,” I say back, my stomach a bundle of nerves.
Sitting on the arm of the chair I’m in, he glances down. “Is it okay if I sit here?” He looks around. “Seems to be the best option since all the other actual chairs and couches are taken.”
Chuckling, I nod. “Yeah, that’s fine.”
Smiling, he turns himself more into me and his leg rubs over my arm. Flutters run rampant in my chest and it’s like we’re the only two people in the world when he starts complimenting my shoes. We joke, laugh, and shoot the shit until Jimmy decides to finally play the movie.
Staying where he is for the next two hours, Stephen leans down enough to lay his arm on the back of my chair and for his whole left side to press against mine.
As we’re all heading home, Stephen agrees to ride with me instead of calling his mom to come get him, and we talk some more, singing together when a song we both love plays on the radio.
His flirty glances send me on a high, and I try my best to keep my eyes on the road and not on how he’s smiling at me. “So do you guys do those movie nights often?”
“Not really. I mean, we hang out every now and then, but it’s not always to watch movies. Sometimes it’s to go to the lake, the arcade, or to hang out at the park across the way from Jimmy’s house.”
“Sounds fun. I wouldn’t mind going to the lake, arcade, or park. Especially if you’re there.”
My skin heats as he rests a hand on my thigh. “Is having my hand here okay?”
“Uh?huh,” I say, breaths catching in my throat.
“I had a lot of fun tonight. Been wanting to hang out with you outside of school for a hot minute.”
“Yeah?” I shoot him a side glance, my hands sweating against the wheel.
“Yeah.” He looks down to where his hand is sliding higher and then back at me. “Would it be cool if we hung out alone sometime too? Maybe tomorrow or Sunday?”
A jolt of electricity ziplines through me. “Yeah. Yeah I’d like that.”
“Me too.” His eyes glow in the dark and we ride the rest of the way in silence. He retracts his hand from my leg as we arrive in front of his house, and he pushes his door open, yanking off his seatbelt.
“See you tomorrow . . . or Sunday?”
“Either one works.” I face him, one side of my lips tilting. I can’t believe this is happening. Stephen wants to hang out with me. He had his hand on my leg. We rode home together. My brain feels as if it’s about to explode with all these revelations swimming through it.
“How about both?” He cocks his head, setting one foot out of the car.
“I . . . okay. I mean I have to check with my parents, but that should be fine.”
“Just text me and let me know when you’re free.”
I shuffle to find my phone and he holds a hand to my arm. “Jimmy gave me your number at school. I might have asked.” He winces. “Hope that’s not creepy.”
“No, not creepy,” I say almost too quickly.
“Cool. I’ll text you when I get inside so you’ll have my number too.”
“That works. Night.”
As I’m turning my eyes back to the road, he hooks his fingers around my chin and leans into me, connecting his lips to mine. The kiss is short, and my tongue vibrates as his sweeps across it. My body feels like mush as I’m melting against him, swallowing a whimper. “Night, Logan.”
I wait until he steps all the way out and is inside his house before letting out a yelp of excitement.
When I get home, I can’t stop smiling, and I touch my lips as I’m lying down in bed.
I close my eyes, picturing his face coming toward mine again.
I can’t stop either, looking forward to more goodbye kisses tomorrow and on Sunday.
They happen too, and continue throughout the rest of the year.
And not just when we part, but also when we greet each other, during our own movie nights, at Jimmy’s graduation party, and the first night we sleep in the same bed together .
. . The hardest kiss to break away from is when he crashes his lips to mine in my car before I make the four-hour drive to campus.
There are promises of seeing each other in the summer and lots of Skype calls.
I get to enjoy some of that, but before the first semester can end my bad luck is back, or more like Blake is back to making my life hell from a different city.
My last call to Stephen is answered by mistake, with the two of them wrestling naked together on the bed showing up on the screen.
Here I thought things would change. That all I had to do was leave town and I’d be happy. Happy and free of Blake Mitchell. Unfortunately, life isn’t always that easy. Especially not mine.