Four #3
“Which is it?” I cock my head, running a thumb over the seam of his mouth.
His tongue darts out a little, as if he’s eager to taste me.
Maybe he should. But only when I want him to.
On my fucking terms. I’ll use him the same way he uses those toys.
Once he’s worn out and I grow bored, I’ll toss him out.
“Yes but . . . it’s not . . . we were kids before. People grow and change.”
“No, people like me grow and change. You, on the other hand, have and will always remain the exact same.” Unless someone gives him no choice. Someone like me. Smiling, I push my thumb between his lips, rubbing over his tongue.
He begins to suck, swirling his tongue around the thick digit, and I click my tongue, pulling my hand back. “I didn’t tell you to do that, did I?”
Mouth parting, he shakes his head. “No. I’m sorry. I can go now.”
I hold on to his knee when he tries to get up. “I didn’t tell you to do that either, but if you’re ready to leave, you can . . . unless . . . you really don’t want to.”
His gaze bounces between me and the door, and his feet stay cemented to the ground. “I don’t want to.”
Who knows, being told what to do by the right person might be what he’s needed all along.
Someone other than Hayden. Someone who makes him think he actually has choices.
Who’s to know if I really would have let him walk out that door?
And am I really a bad person if I keep him here and away from hurting anyone else?
If I keep him from being corrupted by a person worse than Hayden?
Aren’t I just doing the world a favor by protecting others from somebody who’s so easily influenced by the bad company he keeps?
“I didn’t think so. You haven’t been of use to me yet, but you want to be, don’t you?” My eyes hold onto his, my voice deep and grounded.
His head slowly moves from side to side before turning into an unmistakable nod, and I click my tongue when he tries to reach for me again, blocking his hand. “What did I say? You don’t touch or come toward me unless I tell you to.”
“I’m sorry.” Shame spreads across his face and the corners of my lips turn up higher.
Oh, he needs this. To be put in his place.
He thrives on order, doesn’t he? Hates himself for it too.
Oh, the conflicted look in his eyes is delicious.
I guess he was right about not liking himself after doing what others told him to do.
He did it anyway, needing to because of what he lacked at home.
Left to his own devices. To figure shit out for himself.
Feeling overwhelmed by too many choices with no one to tell him which direction was the right way to go.
I can show him. No, I don’t want him like that, but I’d rather be the one corrupting that pretty head of his instead of allowing Hayden to. But like I said before, it doesn’t have to all be for selfish reasons.
He digs his nails into the bed, tucking his bottom lip inward.
So, so lost. Yes, I’ll show him where to go, and he’ll love it so much he’ll keep coming back for more.
Then, when he’s alone in bed at night, he’ll curse himself and everything around him for allowing a man who I’m sure he still thinks isn’t worth a damn to own him.
He came here for a quick lay, to make me a dirty secret, and he’ll be leaving with my invisible shackles pulling him back to where I am.
“Tell me why you’re sitting there and not moving?” I ask, spreading my legs.
He eyes the bulge in my pants. “I’m waiting.”
“For what?” I lean into him, our mouths inches apart.
He sucks in a breath. “For you to tell me when I can move closer and touch you.”
All I hear is that he wants me to tell him. “That’s right,” I encourage.
“So, will you?” His eyes peer into mine.
“Not today.” I close my legs, shifting further away from him.
“What?” He has a touch of annoyance in his tone.
“Go home, Blake, and don’t come back until I invite you to.”
“But—”
“I said go,” I say with authority, making myself bigger next to him.
His bottom lip trembles. “So if I see you out and about, I don’t have to pretend not to know you anymore?”
“You can say hi when I say it first.”
He gives me a half smile. “See. I get what I want eventually.”
I hold back my laughter at how easily manipulated he is. He thinks this is what he wanted? It’s only a tiny fraction of what he hoped to get when he came here, but he accepts it like someone winning a fifty?cent prize after paying ten times what it’s worth.
“Yeah, I guess you were right.” I press my lips into a thin line, shifting my gaze to the door. “I’ll see you, then.”
“Yeah.” He perks up, his confidence back.
The trick is to make him think he’s winning, while I continue to take more and more without giving up anything myself.
“See ya, sexy.” He winks, shooting up from the bed.
On the way out he snatches up his phone and then struts out the door.
Arrogant, entitled, and soon to be mine, to play with whenever I fucking feel like reminding us both who the one on top is now.