Ten
Logan
This shouldn’t bother me so damn much. Saturday isn’t supposed to feel so fucking far away.
He didn’t want to wait. Neither did I. How is he doing this?
How is he so infuriating and addicting at the same time?
Those sweet whimpers and pretty, pouty lips live rent free in my head.
It doesn’t help that I know how good both feel wrapped around my cock either.
One more day. It’s only one more day, and I’m starting to think I should cancel but the thought has me wanting to come out of my skin.
I like telling him what to do but I love how eager he is to follow even more.
I never thought of myself as the dominant type, but I’ve found myself getting more wrapped up in our little game the more I play along.
This buzz I experience when touching him has escalated, and I badly wanted to reach through the phone yesterday, teasing him over those panties to see how many wet spots I could create.
In a lousy attempt to toss my thoughts aside, I grab the drill while holding two pieces of plywood together.
As I’m about to secure a screw through both, my phone buzzes.
Ignoring the alert, I hit the on switch on the small tool and focus on the vibration running through my hand instead of the burning hole in my pocket.
His texts have been coming in at inconvenient times and many instances have made me consider hitting the block button.
But then I wouldn’t be able to see how much he needs me. If he’s blowing up my phone, he has less time to message his friends and any other guy he’d be entertaining if I wasn’t here. My dad’s name flashes in my mind and I almost miss the wood, the sharp metal coming too close to my skin.
Shutting it off, I slam the drill to the ground. Wiping the sweat from my brow, I breathe in and out, unable to control my breathing at first. My phone goes off again and my hand itches to answer. I know it’s him without looking. Make him wait. So long it drives him crazy.
Buzzzz.
Grinding my teeth, I lower myself to the ground and pick up the drill.
Make him wait.
He can wait.
The loud sound of the drill drowns out the vibrations in my pocket. I move to the next piece of fencing, drilling each board in place. When I’m finally on the last one, I fish for my phone and read his messages.
Blake: I’m having a hard time saying no today.
I couldn’t this morning when I didn’t want to go to my father’s restaurant, and I couldn’t when a friend asked me to join her on a double date tomorrow.
Now I can’t say no to Hayden. I think he suspects something and won’t stop asking questions, saying he’s coming over tonight.
Blake: Will you help me?
Blake: Please.
Blake: No one else can.
I don’t want anyone else to either. Not when it’s my job to teach him and guide him. Blake is coming to me and not anyone else. If I want to keep it this way, I need to give him a reason not to stray, and he won’t if I show him how reliable I can be. Better me than them.
I can separate myself from the lies my horniness is using to convince my brain this is something more. It’s good sex derived from hate. Of course it’s better than any other kind I’ve had. The passion is stronger because the pent-up anger has made it so.
Me: Meet me at the old water tower around 8pm.
Blake: That’s when Hayden wants to come by.
I release a strained sigh.
Me: Two hours, then. I need to shower and tend to the animals.
Blake: Can I come to you now? I can help you with farm chores. I’ll help you get clean too.
His words are followed by a winky face.
Me: No. At the water tower in two hours. Set a timer and show up five minutes early.
Blake: Okay.
Feeding and watering the animals only takes me thirty minutes at most. There aren’t as many to care for anymore.
Two sheep, four pigs, a couple of ducks, and fifteen chickens.
Enjoying the feel of the cool breeze through my hair, I stand on the deck, leaning over the railing, and breathe in the fresh air.
There’s a lot to love about this place, and I see it more when so much of what I hated is gone. My father’s scrutiny, his judgment and all his scowling. Why did he want me to take over from him so badly when he never cared for how I did anything.
“You’re brushing the horses wrong,” he’d bite out. “You’re going to drop the eggs like that.”
His constant criticism was nails on the chalkboard and so were all his complaints to my mother about her cooking.
She didn’t scrub the counters well enough or tuck the sheets in at the corners the way he liked.
We didn’t do this or that, and he was the only one pulling his weight around here.
It’s why I slept in the barn so much. The sounds of the animals were more comforting than anything that came out of his mouth.
His loud breathing grew to be too much too, and the increasing huffs only meant he was working his way up to yelling.
Closing my eyes, I lean back and smile with my face pointed up at the sky. No worrying about him grabbing me by my hair and dragging me inside with my nails breaking on the door frame when I tried to fight against him. I can come home late for dinner and sleep whenever I want.
If I doze on the couch, it’s not be a big deal anymore, and I can laugh low at my TV shows and drink my water standing up. My elbows can be on the table and I can snack on pickles with the fridge open. Nowhere is off limits for me to read at, and I can live all I want here without interruptions.
Then his and Blake’s faces come together in my head. My eyes snap open and I feel as if someone’s yanking at my scalp all over again, the pain traveling down to my chest like twisting knives.
Neither are supposed to bother me anymore.
But they both always will as long as I’m here, won’t they?
In some type of way. Either alone or together in their new apartment.
Is that why Blake is pushing to see me sooner?
He won’t talk me out of Saturday. If it was him Mrs. whatever the fuck her name was saw at the furniture store, then I’ll make sure he doesn’t make his move?in date.
My dad will be left alone like he deserves, and I’ll keep proving over and over that no one will be able to satisfy Blake like me. Only I can fill that hole I drill inside him, of feeling partially empty every time I leave him wanting for more.
I slam my hands against the railing and hurry inside to shower. Once dressed and satisfied with my appearance, I leave the house, driving around the block until I have only ten minutes to get to the water tower to see if Blake gets there on time.
My foot quickly shifts on the brake when I arrive, and I step out of my car, looking down at my watch. The clock ticks as I watch each minute go by. Ten minutes late. Fifteen minutes late. Twenty minutes after eight and my hackles are rising. Where is he?
A blue car turns the corner and slows down the closer it gets. Blake steps onto the gravel, eyes moving everywhere but me, and he got out of the wrong side.
With a pained expression he shakes his head. “I didn’t . . . I wasn’t . . .”
Feet struggling to grip the ground, I reach behind me as Hayden jumps out of the driver’s seat wearing a wicked grin. “You really came. What a fucking loser.”
He laughs, moving my way so fast I can’t get into my car fast enough to stop him from grabbing me by the back of my shirt.
“You’re so pathetic, you know that? It doesn’t matter how many weights you lift.
You could come back a fucking billionaire and you’d still be a nobody.
You know why?” The stench of alcohol hits my nose and I’m reeling.
“And you’ll always be a brainless idiot who peaked in high school,” I grit out, wrapping the back of my leg around his and elbowing his chin.
He yells, jumping back, and with anger burning in his dark eyes, he charges at me and slams his body into mine.
We fall onto the ground, wrestling, and Blake paces nervously around us.
“Stop. Please stop. You had your fun, Hayden. Let’s go. ”
“Not yet,” he grunts, slamming me onto my back and pulling something from his pocket.
He brings it closer, and I flinch when I see a spark.
I wrestle against him, almost getting away, but I’m hit with a zap of electricity.
I convulse, arms shooting forward, and he presses the hot device against my neck, shockwaves rolling through me.
All muscles tense and a nauseated feeling comes over me.
“Stop,” Blake shouts. “Just stop.”
“Did you lie to me?” Hayden rasps. “Did you really want to come out here tonight? Is it really him who wouldn’t leave you alone?”
“I told you. You saw the messages,” he argues.
“It also looked like some were missing when I finally got your phone from your hands. Do you want to be with him, huh? With your pig?boy boyfriend?” Hayden’s voice is strained.
“No,” Blake cries out. “I don’t want him. I told you. Why would I? Why would someone like me even look his way?”
“Then prove it. Shock him with the cattle prod. That’s what you do when livestock acts up and shows aggression.”
“Please don’t make me do that. I don’t even know how to use one.
Let’s just go. I’ll stay at your place tonight,” Blake begs and it makes me angrier.
He’s supposed to only do that with me. Sounding desperate because of the positions I put him in—not Hayden.
We aren’t supposed to be back here. How did I let him get me back here?
I got caught off guard. I wanted this so much that in the end I fucked it up. Nails digging into the dirt, I drag myself forward and a foot presses to my back.
“I’ll show you how it works, baby. It’s easy. Give me your hand.”
“Please,” Blake sobs. He sounds in pain, and not the kind I bring him but one he actually wants to end.
What is this guilt crawling up inside my chest?
He did this shit to himself. We could eventually have put our differences aside and gone from being each other’s distraction to something more.
But not after today. There was a small chance before, but now he’s destroyed it like he does everything he touches.
His father’s right. He always does the wrong fucking thing, and how I chose to help him wasn’t enough.
He needs more. Far away from everyone else. It’s the only way he’ll ever get closer to being a better version of himself.
“Do it or I’ll tell everyone you’ve been getting fucked by this awful disgrace. I’ll tell your dad. What will he say? You know how much he hates his family after the countless times his dad screwed up the vegetable orders and cost him money.”
Is that what happened? Why the farm lost so much business? My dad pissed off the wrong restaurant owner and his bad reputation spread through town? It is, isn’t it? Fuck.
My body goes slack when I’m shocked again, vibrations ping?ponging through my spine and limbs.
“I . . . okay. I’ll do it. Then when I’m done, we go, okay?”
“Fine,” Hayden says happily, pressing his shoe closer to my neck, and a sick feeling comes over me. “I also want you to tell him how someone like you could never actually want him. Remind him of why too.”
I lift my head as much as I can, vision blurring as two figures stand over me.
The small form leans down, a familiar sweet scent sweeping around me.
“You actually thought I’d want you?” Blake’s voice shakes above me.
I’m not like you, Logan. I don’t like sleeping with pigs.
That’s what you are and what you’ll always be.
” His voice grows louder. “Now it’s time for you to fucking squeal like one.
” A sharp pinging sensation hits my arm and I groan, curling in on myself when another jolt shoots through me.
“There. Happy?” Blake says with more breath in his voice than sound.
“Yes . . . well, almost.” Stepping off me, Hayden gathers my arms behind my back and ties my wrists together with a piece of thin rope.
“What are you doing? You promised.” Feet stomp around my head and Blake sniffles.
“I never promised shit,” Hayden says with a hint of glee in his voice as my pants are being yanked to my ankles. My boxer briefs come down next.
“What are you doing?” Blake demands, voice shaking.
“Go wait in the car if you don’t want to see. This will only take me five minutes.”
“You don’t have to do this.”
Why is Blake fighting so hard for me after showing up here with him?
He planned this all out to get me in a weak position, didn’t he?
Obviously he was playing me this whole time to get me exactly where I am, and I took the bait.
He won’t have this chance again so I hope he fucking enjoys it while it lasts.
“No, but I want to.” Hayden laughs and it’s wicked.
He pulls my clothes free from my ankles and drags me until he’s sitting me up against what feels like the bark of a tree.
My eyes are covered by some thin material and the next thing I hear are his footsteps trailing away, followed by the screeching sound of tires.
I try to break free of the rope, kicking my feet forward, but I stay trapped until someone finally drives by hours later. They free me, asking me if I’m okay, and as they start to dial the cops, I shake my head.
“I’m fine. You can go now.”
“You sure?” The heavyset man looks down on me, offering me his hand, but I brush it away.
“Yeah. Thank you for your help. I can handle it from here.”
“As long as you’re sure.” His brows bunch together.
“I am,” I say louder. “I promise. You happen to see my pants anywhere?
He looks around, shaking his head. “No, sorry. I haven’t. Look, I really don’t feel right leaving you here. Can I at least call someone? A friend or family member?”
I stare longer into his eyes and nod. “Yeah, okay.”
He takes out his phone and I reach for it, calling Jimmy. The older gentleman waits with me until he arrives, offering me his jacket to cover myself as I sit sideways in my car, shaking.
“Holy shit. What the hell happened?”
“I don’t want to talk about it. I just want to go home.” So I can cultivate my plan. Blake Mitchell acted like he needed me before. He has no idea what’s in store for him now. Soon he’ll only breathe when I let him, eat when I say, and walk when I feel he needs to use his legs.
“Yeah, yeah alright, but whoever fucking did this shouldn’t get away with it.”
“Don’t worry, karma will catch up to them.” I try to hand the stranger his jacket back and he tells me to keep it, walking back to his car. I thank him again, and Jimmy helps me to his car after I slide on a pair of spare pants he brought with him.
“You know you can’t keep expecting karma to handle shit after someone screws you over. What if these fuckers never get what’s coming to them?”
“I have faith they will this time.” I turn my head, looking toward the window, and smile. I’ll make fucking sure they do.