Eighteen
Logan
My day has been long and busy. They all have been since starting my training at the academy.
We ended the day with PT, and I changed out of my gym clothes, hiding behind my locker door to check in on Blake.
He was lying on the mattress looking up at the ceiling, moving his lips, and hasn’t moved when I look again while sitting in the parking lot.
Two of the other guys in the course wave at me through the window, and I lift my hand slightly, pointing my screen down.
Completely unbothered by what they saw when they looked at me in my car, they go back to talking and laughing.
Good, they didn’t see what they weren’t supposed to.
I was Blake’s little secret and now he’s mine.
He’ll get what I give him. It’ll have more songs for him to listen to anyway, and I’ll also add some ebooks.
Based on how he shit on me for reading all the time in high school, he might not even notice they’re there or care to click on them.
He needs more things to do while alone for long periods of time, though.
The front gate is open when I pull up on our property and I quickly drive forward. My dad’s truck is parked in front of my house and panic sets in. Where is he?
Stomach shifting, I stop my car behind his and quickly climb out. He’s not near the barn and the lock doesn’t appear to have been tampered with. No sounds come from inside, and I press my ear to the door. There are some shuffling sounds, but they fade away when I step back.
Glass shatters from behind me and I whip my head around. My dad’s at the side of the house, climbing through what was once his and my mom’s room. Son of a bitch. Stomping toward him, my hackles rise as I reach for his legs, yanking him back so hard he crashes to the ground.
Face red and angry, he shouts, “What the fuck.”
“What do you think you’re doing? You have any idea how much it’s gonna cost to fix that window?”
Groaning, he tries to sit up, but I rest a foot on his stomach. “No, you’re going to stay where you are until I say you can move.”
“Fuck you. This is my house. If you didn’t want me to break a window, you shouldn’t have locked me out.”
“Listen to me carefully, old man.” I slide my foot closer to his neck. “You don’t live here anymore. You and Mom were both almost on the streets until I came along. So take your worthless, drunk, cheating ass back to Grandma’s.”
I can tell he wants to argue and then sighs in frustration, slapping my foot around. “Fine. Let me just get the rest of my clothes and I’m gone.”
Lifting my foot, I nod. “Only your clothes and then you’re going.”
“I swear.” Sitting up slowly, he crosses his heart and I roll my eyes.
His word ain’t worth shit. Never has been to me.
If only my mom could see what I saw all this time.
Might have saved a lot of heartache and pain.
Then again, maybe it wouldn’t have. Who knows where I’d be if things hadn’t happened how they did. Would Blake still be in my barn?
I shake off the thought, and back away from my dad as he uses the side of the house to stand.
He dusts off his clothes and meets my eyes.
His are yellow and empty. He’s his own karma, that’s for sure.
Going to the bar and drinking himself into a coma every night is slowly catching up to him. He can barely stand up straight.
“You stay here and I’ll go fill a bag of your clothes. I’ll box up the rest of your shit by the end of the week and shove everything on the porch for you to pick up.”
“Why can’t I just go get what I need myself?” he asks snidely.
“Because you can’t be trusted, for one, and for another, it ain’t your fucking house anymore.
“This is ridiculous. It’d be much faster if you just let me in. You don’t even know where everything is.”
I look him up and down with my face wrinkling in disgust. “I’m sure anything I give you will be better than what you’re wearing.”
“I need my good jeans for the new job I got. My work boots too.”
I pause for a beat. “You got a new job?”
“Yes. A good one too. With room and board. It’s a ranch hand position. Then I’ll be able to help your momma catch up on old bills.”
“I’ve already been helping her. She doesn’t need you. All you’ll do is hold it over everyone’s head.”
“How about we leave what she needs up to her,” he remarks, and I seethe.
“I’m getting your stuff and then you’re leaving. I’m glad you at least found a job. Now you can stop stealing from her everywhere you can.”
“I gave her everything I have.”
“Everything you have? What about your new boyfriend? Have you started taking from him too?”
He spits between us, rubbing the back of his neck. “Will you get what I need so I can go? I didn’t come here for small talk.”
I scoff. “You were doing just fine until I mentioned him. Where is he anyway? Is he gonna be staying at your new place of work with you too?”
“I don’t know who you’re talking about,” he barks out, shifting his feet. “You know what. Never fucking mind. I’ll just stop over at the local thrift shop and get what I need there.”
I huff out an annoyed breath. “Just wait here and I’ll go get it. It’s all going to end up over there if you don’t take it anyway. Better not to have to pay for it again.”
He nods his head, lowering himself into one of the white metal chairs by the door.
I stomp inside, setting the food on the table while looking around for his boots.
I grab them from under the table and take them to my mom’s bedroom, shoving them in the first bag I find in the closet, adding as many jeans, slacks, and shirts as will fit.
After throwing in some underwear, socks, and his only three belts, I rush back outside to toss him his stuff.
“Here. This should hold you over for a while. I’ll have whatever else is yours waiting for you to come pick up by Sunday.”
“You said by the end of the week,” he bites out, grabbing the black strap from me to lift it over his shoulder.
“Yeah, and Sunday is the end of the week for me. Now go before Mom sees you here.” I don’t tell him she’s staying somewhere else tonight because it’s none of his damn business.
He turns around, before stopping and looking back at me, swaying as he looks like he’s about to say something.
His mouth is open but no words come out, and then he shakes his head before walking a jagged line to his truck.
I rub at my face, my shoulders sagging as I lean against the screen door.
I look toward the shed and at my dad speeding out of the gate that leads to the road.
Once I’m sure he’s gone, I go inside, and change into something more comfortable.
I don’t know why I’m worried about how my hair or face looks when it’s all about to be covered with a mask, but I stop to check my appearance in the bathroom mirror anyway.
As I’m walking over to grab the food, that’s when I remember I forgot to buy him an MP3 player.
I’ll order one online and select next day shipping.
That’ll be better than having to leave the house again.
Exhaustion is weighing me down by the time I walk into the barn with the food, two glasses, plates, and two bottles of water.
Blake is sleeping under the new blanket I got him as I head up the ladder with everything tucked under my arms. He lifts his head when a board creaks under my boots, looking up at me and rubbing his eyes.
“No radio today,” I say into the voice changer. “Had too much to do, but you should have all the music you could ask for within the next couple of days. Got any requests?” I move a small wooden table from the corner beside his mattress and set everything I’m holding on top.
He rubs his eyes again, tilting his head. He’s waiting for permission to speak, isn’t he? I told him he can answer when asked a question. I guess I wasn’t very clear on that. “You can answer me. I asked the question and initiated the conversation.”
He scoots closer, inhaling the air as I’m removing the containers from the bag.
“I don’t know.” He lifts one of his shoulders. “I like just about anything. You can just surprise me.”
I stop moving for a minute, my hands pausing above the food. “How about you name me two bands or singers, then.”
He tugs at his bottom lip with his teeth. “Spice Girls and Evanescence.”
I snort. “That’s an interesting mixture.”
“I told you I like everything.”
“So you did.” I pour his food onto a plate and set a fork beside it.
He licks his lips, rocking on his hands but not moving more than he already has.
Of course he’s hungry. He only had breakfast today.
I should leave some extra food for him tomorrow.
At least a snack or two. Maybe a bottle of water too.
It might help with his little bathroom problem.
But if it ends up doing the trick, then I won’t get to intervene the way I prefer to.
Hands-on help is always better. He needs it more too.
I place my food across from his and sit cross-legged on the ground as close to the table as I can get. “You can come join me over here if you’d like. I hope you like orange chicken and rice.”
He crawls out of the blanket and positions himself on his knees, shivering a little.
Oh yeah, he’s naked. I forgot I left him that way after his bath.
He looks behind him and tugs the blanket closer, draping it around his shoulders.
Wiggling in place, he looks between the fork and water, draining the bottle before taking his first bite of food.
“Someone’s thirsty.”
He nods, swiping at the piece of rice hanging at the corner of his lips with the tip of his tongue.