Twenty-Seven
Blake
I shift in the bed, lifting the blanket over me, having to untuck it to get it around the cuff.
My hand lifts to my blindfold and stops when my fingers trail over the back.
He’s not here. He won’t know I took it off.
I can put it right back as it was as soon as I hear the front door open.
He’s probably as loud entering as he is leaving.
It’s an older house, so I’m sure that has more to do with it than with him.
I can tell without looking, by the creaks in the floor, rustling of the pipes, and the loud thud that sounds around me, when the heater kicks on.
I thread my fingers through the ties and stop again, unable to let myself pull them free. If I take it off, I could see where I am and see if I’ve been here before. I could see what his room looks like and maybe what kind of person he is based on what he leaves on his nightstand.
I tug at the back and then let it go, sighing. He won’t know but I will. I’ll know that I’ve been bad and gone against his rules. He didn’t say for me to keep it on, but sometimes I feel as if the command is unspoken and he’s testing me.
I sit as far back as I can, stacking pillows behind me and shaking my foot, the chain rattling against the metal.
I pull and pull to no avail, the rough edges digging into my skin.
I crawl to the foot of the bed and tug on the bottom bed post and kick at it.
It shakes a little, and when I hit it with my foot again, there’s a clinking sound. A screw came loose.
If I keep going, I can shake my foot more freely and I’ll be free too. Unless he locked the other side of the door.
“What are you doing, piglet?” I hear the words in the back of my mind and shake at the thought of not wanting to disappoint him.
I don’t know why it’s worse than making him angry, but it is.
He won’t hit me like my dad used to. What he does is worse.
He makes sure I’m going to miss everything he plans to take away from me the minute I fuck up. And I have.
He holds and cares for me. He kisses away my sorrows and wipes my tears. He’ll hold me and touch me whenever I’m too starved for it. He gives me things no one else has, and that’s why it hurts so much, because though I lacked all those things before, I never could miss what I didn’t have.
I fold in on myself, placing my head down as I bring my knees up. The front door shakes and I jump, my heart stuttering. His feet are heavy against the floor, his footsteps getting louder the closer he gets, the sound matching the pounding pulse in my ears.
“Got your Diet Coke and some other things I think you’ll like too. Do you drink hot chocolate?”
I nod, scooting back again. “Is it bad outside?”
“Not yet, but the roads are nearly covered in snow. It’s still soft, so I didn’t slide on the way back. I won’t be taking any chances tomorrow, though. I’ll be keeping my ass at home.”
“What about your roommate?” I inquire. Who are they to him? Just a friend? Do they sleep in here with him sometimes? The bed smells like someone else. Has a light rose scent. He takes too long to answer.
“Why do you keep bringing them up? They aren’t here right now. It’s only you and me.”
“They don’t ever go into the barn?”
“No. No one does but me,” he says sharply. “You didn’t waste your time yelling for help while I was gone, hoping someone else was in the house, did you?”
I didn’t even think about it. Why didn’t I? All I cared about was what this person is to him and if, whenever he left alone, it was to come spend time with them. “No.”
“What about your blindfold? Did you take it off?”
“I wanted to and thought about it several times.”
“But did you?” There’s a slight purr to his tone.
“No. I . . . I’d be a bad piglet if I did.”
“That’s right,” he preens. “You could have done it without me knowing all this time, but you held yourself back so you wouldn’t disobey me.”
“Are you proud of me?” My voice wavers.
“So proud of you, piglet.” He cups my face and I didn’t realize how close he was until now.
My heart kicks. “Really?”
“Yes, sweet boy.”
My breaths come out too quickly and I rub my face against his palm, pulling back when his hand rubs over my burn.
“Easy. You’re still hurt on that side. How about some pain meds?”
“Okay. Can I have them with hot chocolate?”
“Of course. Let me get out of these wet clothes and make us both some.”
“What’s for dinner today?” I scoot forward to fold my legs.
“What would you like?”
“I get to choose?” My stomach flutters.
“Yeah. You were so good while I was gone, so you can have whatever you want.”
“Does that only apply to food and drinks?”
“What else do you want it to apply to?”
“Can we watch a movie?”
“What kind of movie?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. The Princess Bride is one of my favorites, and I haven’t seen it in a while.”
“Sure. I actually have that one.”
I smile. “So this means I can take the blindfold off?”
“Yes. Go right ahead.”
Glee swarms inside me. It’s such a small thing too, and yet I’m treating it as if he’s given me the whole world on a silver platter.
“Allow me,” he says, slowly pulling the blindfold free from my eyes and slipping it off my head.
“You’re wearing your blue mask.”
“Yeah.” He chuckles. “You really like this one, huh?”
We’re chitchatting, talking like old friends spending the day together. I didn’t know if I’d get this side of him again, but I feel so lucky to have it. “Yeah.” I look around. “Is this your room?”
“Yeah,” he says, taking longer than usual to respond.
“There’s more floral than I expected.”
He laughs, shaking his head, and walks through a door, flipping on a light.
It’s a bathroom. He walks all the way in, closing the door halfway, and when he walks out he’s wearing different clothes.
I run my eyes up and down his body as he straightens the bottom of his black sweater.
It’s snug around him, stopping at his slender hips.
“Have you decided what you want to eat?”
“Chicken noodle soup.”
“Yeah.” He pauses, straightening his mask. “I can do that.”
“More brownies too?” My voice is small. Hopefully I’m not asking for too much.
“Sure. I’ll uh . . . go get started on that.”
“Can I come keep you company?” I try not to sound desperate but I’m probably failing.
“Maybe tomorrow.” He turns away from me and stops right before he reaches the door, craning his neck back. “How about you take a short nap. You look like you need it.”
I rub at my neck, shrinking in on myself, watching the door closely as he walks out it.
He shuts it tightly behind him and I sag on the bed, unable to look away from where he just was.
He takes so long too, and I think it’s worse than when he left for the store because only a stupid wall is separating us.
I can hear every sound he makes but can’t see him.
He’s so close but not close enough. He’s in the same house as me, but I need him in the same room. I need him.