Chapter 11
Callum
If someone asked me what I was doing, I would tell them I was taking care of a friend. If somebody asked me to tell the truth, I wasn’t sure what I would say.
The problem was, I didn’t know what to say.
I had been going through life pretty well. I’d had a dream career if only for a few moments, and I’d made enough money during those years, however short they were, to sustain the life that I wanted and my family’s.
I’d escaped this small town if only for the few years I needed to figure out how to breathe, and that was exactly what I had needed.
I had siblings that annoyed the fuck out of me most times but were pretty great. And I was making it through.
As long as I ignored the grief of not only my mother, stepmother, Mal, and my wife.
If I ignored the fact that people never remembered her name.
That they barely even knew I had been married, all would be well.
If I ignored the fact that I had a craving for someone I shouldn’t, I would be fine. I wasn’t fine.
So here I was, in my home, with the one person who shouldn’t be here.
I wasn’t about to let her go across the street.
“I can just go home, you know. I was planning to just take a bath, have a glass of wine, and pretend that today wasn’t radically fucking weird.”
I raised a brow and gestured toward the kitchen.
“Finnian helped me set up the wine bar in here. Though I’m more of a beer guy. We’ll find you some wine.”
“You’re not going to make a scene about how I’m not old enough to drink?” She slid her hands on her hips.
I just stared at her.
“I was there for your twenty-first birthday. We both know that you’re old enough to drink. We both know that you are well past that. Come on, let’s get you some wine. You can take it back if you want, but I figured you’d want to watch a movie.”
“And how do you figure that? Callum, I do not understand you.”
I shrugged. “Just let me take care of you, okay?”
She froze, eyes going wide.
“Why? Why do you want to take care of me?”
“Because it’s what I do.”
I moved on to the kitchen, knowing she would follow. She was always curious like that.
“I’m not yours to take care of. I’m not one of your siblings, and you don’t need to take Atlas’s place because he’s not here. I have enough big brothers. I don’t need you to have some odd sense of responsibility when it comes to me.”
“Felicity, we both know I don’t think of you as my little sister, so just pick which wine you want.”
“Do you have a rosé?” she said after a moment, that resigned sigh of hers too damn cute.
I nodded and pulled one out of my wine fridge.
“Okay. Let’s get this ready for you.”
“You confuse me.”
“Felicity, baby, you confuse me every fucking day. Just call it payback.”
Chest rising and falling, she took a step forward as I pulled out her glass.
“I have no idea what that means. One minute, you’re kissing me, and the next, you’re pushing me away. And then, after that, you have your head between my legs, and I have no idea what the hell I’m supposed to be doing.”
“I don’t know either, if that helps.”
“No. It doesn’t help at all.”
“Let’s just relax. Watch a movie. Ignore those stupid bitches so that way I don’t have to go and find them and kick them out of town again.”
Felicity’s lips twitched. “Honestly, they just looked bored. Like I was fun to kick around for a few moments before they went back to their real lives, or vacation, or whatever. I truly do not understand them.”
“I never understood why you were friends with them to begin with.”
She let out a sigh and shrugged. “They weren’t always like that.”
I gave her a look.
“Truly. They had their good moments. At least when the four were together. And Laurelin was always nice.”
“One of them wasn’t Laurelin?” I asked, and she let out a laugh.
“You do realize they’re just jealous, right?” I asked as I pulled out one of my IPAs from the fridge.
“Why?” Felicity’s eyes widened. “Why would they be jealous?”
“Because you really don’t care what they think. You were always like that. Hell, you were fine just staying at home alone that one night.” I cursed. “Well, at least at first.”
“I don’t want to talk about that night.”
I reached forward and pushed her hair back from her face, cupping her cheek. “I don’t want to either. But those girls? They’re not happy. You can see it all over their faces. They wanted to come here, make sure that you’re just as unhappy, so they can feel better about themselves.”
“That’s not true.”
“It is fucking true. Hell, Felicity. You have a family that supports you, a town that you love, and loves you. You saw all of those people in the Flicked Bean. Even Fiona was nice.”
Felicity threw up her free hand. “Oh my God. Right? I mean, Fiona stood up for me. In her own way. Maybe I am in a dream, or this is a sign of an apocalypse.”
“You’re not in a dream, and this isn’t an apocalypse. But it does seem like it sometimes.”
“I’m just surprised that she even stood up for me a little bit.”
“Maybe she was bored.”
“You know, that seems a lot more likely than anything else.”
“They’re just jealous of you. And they’ll skedaddle out of Ashford Creek with their tails between their legs, and you won’t have to see them again. You have your own life here. Your own future. You’ve got this.”
“Skedaddle?” Felicity asked, her lips pursed. “Who says that word?”
“I’m an old man. It’s what I do.”
“We both know you’re not that old.”
“I’m older than you,” I mumbled, gesturing towards the living room. “Go take a seat. We’ll find something to watch.”
“Why am I here, Callum?”
Why did I like the sound of my name on her lips? She shouldn’t be here. She should be at home or with her friends. I shouldn’t be anywhere in her vicinity.
Ever since I’d had a taste of her, though, I couldn’t walk away. It was so damn stupid. But I craved her. I wanted more. And the part of me that was smart wasn’t really listening anymore.
“The honest answer is I don’t know,” I said after a moment.
“You don’t know…” Her voice trailed off.
“No, Felicity. I don’t. I haven’t known what I’m doing with you for two years. But we’re friends.” I pause. “We are friends, right?”
“Yes, Callum, we’re friends.” Her voice was barely above a whisper as she stared down into her wineglass.
I reached forward again and lifted her chin with my finger. When I met that stunning gaze of hers, my heart sped up, my breath catching once again.
“I’m not a good man, Felicity. I’ve made shit decisions.
I’ve hurt people. I don’t always think about the consequences.
And part of me wants to keep hurting people.
” Her mouth opened, and I shook my head.
“But I can’t stop thinking about you. I know it’s wrong.
I know your brothers are going to kick my ass.
But I want you here. In my house. On my couch.
I want to watch a fucking movie. I want to feed you.
And I want to touch you. I just want you. Call me insane. But I just want you.”
“You want me?”
My lips twitched. “Yes. And I don’t talk about my feelings. I don’t talk about shit like this.” I took a step back and sipped my beer. The hoppy-ness settled on my tongue, and I tried to focus.
“I don’t know what I’m doing here. I never know what I’m doing. But I want you.”
“You say you don’t know what you’re doing, but I don’t know… it always looks like you know what you’re doing.”
“And I’m a damn good liar. I know what I like, Felicity.”
“And what do you like?” She met my gaze, and I couldn’t help but smile. She was so damn strong, so damn fierce, and I knew she sometimes forgot that.
“I like my family. I like to make sure that they’re safe. I like working at the brewery. I like creating things. I still like watching football. And I like to fuck.”
Her eyes widened.
“What, you don’t like me saying I like to fuck?”
“Well, if you’re going to say one thing is out of place of the others—”
“I like to fuck. I don’t do relationships. Not anymore. And I usually don’t fuck townies.”
“And that’s what I am? A townie.”
“No, Felicity. You’re my ruination. But I don’t fucking care right now.”
I set the beer bottle down, moved forward, and crushed my mouth to hers.
She let out a little gasp against my mouth, and I groaned. Without looking, I took the wine glass from her hand, set it down on the opposite counter, and moved in.
“You tell me to stop, I’ll stop.”
“So this is just fucking?” she asked, her eyes wide.
I pressed my forehead to hers, my breath coming in pants. When I slid my hands around her, caging her against the kitchen counter, her throat worked as she swallowed hard.
“I told you. I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“I don’t know if that fills me with joy and reassurance.”
“I don’t think I’m supposed to reassure you right now. Because I’m not fucking my best friend’s little sister right now.”
“That’s not my only title, you know.”
“I do.” I moved one hand up to trace my finger along her jawline. Her pupils dilated. My girl liked being touched. Liked being praised. “When it comes to you, I don’t think it can just be fucking.”
“And that worries you.”
“What do you want, little flower?”
“For you to kiss me.”
“I can do that. I can always kiss you, Felicity. That’s not a problem. What more do you want?”
“I don’t know.” She pulled away, and I took a step back, not wanting to completely cage her when she needed that space. I was a bad man, but I wasn’t a monster.
“What do you want, Felicity? What do you need, little flower?” I asked, my voice soft.
“I have no idea what I want. And that’s the problem. You heard the Ls at the Flicked Bean.”
“I don’t want to talk about the Ls.”
“Well, you heard them. I had a crush on you all of college. I was a full-fledged adult, crushing on an older guy.”
“And now?”
“I still want you.”