Chapter Three
W ith the badges dangling around our necks, we went up the back stairs of the building and were nodded in by a tall, lanky guy playing on his phone.
“I don’t think he even paid attention to us,” I whispered. “We could have been anyone.”
“I know, but I still feel like we’re part of some exclusive club. And I’m sure we’ll need to show proof to eat or drink anything.”
We crossed through the doorway and stepped onto the roof. The back bar area that also contained the food spread was sheltered, but the rest was uncovered. We had to be pretty early, as there were plenty of tables and chairs open.
I went over to the railing and took in the view below me. I could see at least five other stages from where I stood, and the sheer number of people filling every available space was mind-blowing. Vitality was king here.
Perry edged up next to me. “Pretty cool, huh?”
I nodded. It may not be a private party at Madison Square, but it was something I’d never experienced before in one of my all-time favorite places. I made a vow right then to resume my tradition of coming back every year.
“There’s my gorgeous girl.”
We wheeled around to see Stu coming toward us. The closer he got, the more fascinated I became. His skin was flawless, and I knew he was older than Perry. He hugged her, and when he turned towards me, I couldn’t tear my eyes away. Not because I wanted to get into those tight pants, but because I wanted to know his secret. Maybe he could recommend a face cream.
“Stu, this is Jillian, Stephen’s sister, and my out-and-out best friend.”
“Pleasure to meet you. Did you enjoy the show?”
Damn, he was a china doll. “Very much. You’ve got something special going.”
“And she knows her stuff,” Perry said, winking. “Jills also sings. She’s amazing.”
“Oh?”
“Not for a long time.” I flipped up my badge. “Thanks for the invite.”
“You’re welcome.” He tugged Perry against him. “Where’s your scrumptious boyfriend hiding?” I couldn’t help noticing how his hair gleamed under the lights. I should ask about his conditioner too.
Perry stuck out her bottom lip. “At work. What about yours?”
“We broke up.”
“Kenny?” He nodded. “Oh, no, what happened? You guys were together forever.”
He shrugged. “Life.” Perry grabbed his hand, and he smiled. “You two want anything?”
“Yes,” she said, rubbing her stomach.
“I’ll just take some water.”
Perry cocked her head at me. “Seriously? Ah, did I mention it’s free? Pick something top shelf.”
“I had a pretzel while I was waiting for you.” And I was not in the mood to go another alcohol-induced round in the wind tunnel.
The three of us drifted to the bar as he pointed out a few guys along the way. A dozen more people had filled in the area while we were chatting. “That’s Will, bass guitar and keyboards. Cleo, fucking magician with a drumstick. Looks like Chase isn’t here yet. He’s our backup acoustic.” We earned some waves as we sidled up to the food table. “Not everyone here’s associated with us.” He laughed. “We’re not that popular yet. We share this space with some of the other acts.”
While Perry heaped her plate, I looked around to see if I recognized anyone. Other bands were here? I felt so out of the loop with the locals. The bartender handed me a bottle of water, and for a split second, I mulled over substituting it with a beer. If I had enough hydration in me, I was probably good to go, but something told me to stick with my original choice.
“Oooh, lookie,” Perry said, shoving a martini glass in my face filled with brown liquid. “Chocolate cupcake.” She took a sip. “Mmm… I couldn’t resist, but I’ll only have the one. Promise.” She handed it to me. “Try some?”
I took a small taste and shuddered. It had the flavor of a chocolate cupcake all right, if it were also blended up with a chocolate soda and a pound of additional sugar. “Go nuts.” I gave her back the drink. “I’ll be the designated driver.”
“You sure?”
I nodded. “I’m done for the night. As long as I don’t need to carry you to the car, it’s all good. Have whatever you want.” Perry loved frou-frou drinks—the sweeter, the better.
“Promise.” She crossed her heart. “I wonder if they can make me an apple pie.”
“You do know you’re drinking eighty proof, not selecting things from the dessert cart, right?”
She gulped from her glass. “Who says it can’t be both? Hey, let’s grab a table before they’re all taken.” Perry yanked on Stu’s arm, who had just finished flirting with some Goth boy.
“You two go ahead. I’ll join you in a bit.” The sound of aggressive female vocals caught my attention. “I want to check this out for a while.”
I went to the edge of the roof and leaned over the rail; I had the perfect view of the stage from there. Plus, I could enjoy the show and still have room to move, unlike the people below either squashed on the benches or pressed together dancing on the tables. At one time, that was part of the appeal, but not so much anymore. I still appreciated a great band, but I also liked breathing.
I glanced behind me to see Perry and Stu laughing hysterically. It was good to give them time to catch up. I returned my focus forward and zeroed into my zone, letting the rhythm wash over me. Driven rock with enough angst to pull me in and hold me. I swayed my hips and took it in.
“She’s good.”
The voice startled me, jerking my head sideways. A fresh-faced man who looked vaguely familiar had parked himself beside me and placed his hands on the rail. I nodded in agreement. “She reminds me of Alanis Morissette.” The memories of that show flooded back to me, and I started spinning numbers in my head. I was seventeen. Really? God, it felt like a lifetime ago.
“Lyrics or music?”
“Both.”
“I was just debating this very thing with someone the other day. So, what connects you the deepest, stirs up your emotions more?”
“Excuse me?” I stared at the guy, not sure what he was all waxing poetic about. Maybe he didn’t have a clue either. “Are you high?”
I peered into his eyes, green scattered with gold. They were unusually pretty, or it could have been due to the lights flickering. Either way, he didn’t look like he was on anything.
He laughed. “No, not even drinking tonight.”
Nice smile. I gave him another good look, and it clicked. “Wait, aren’t you—”
He held out his hand. “Chase.” It seemed polite to acknowledge his gesture, so I shook his hand. His grip was secure, triggering a little jolt that took me by surprise. Well, of course; it was human nature. He was young and attractive. And virile. And young . I pulled my hand away.
“Jillian,” I said, snapping my eyes over to Perry. She waved then pushed her chair out and headed over, small blue drink in hand.
“What is that?” I pointed at her glass.
“A blueberry muffin.”
I just shook my head. “Perry, this is—”
“Chase, I know. The lifesaver.”
I scrunched up my face. What? Maybe I was the one stoned and didn’t even know it. I sniffed around. There was no indication I was receiving a contact buzz.
“Stu introduced us already.” Then she attempted to mouth, “He’s hot,” but it came out with enough sound to make my cheeks burn. Perry waggled her eyebrows as she put the rim to her lips. I narrowed my eyes at her, hoping she’d lay off, but she just ignored me and swiveled toward Chase.
“And you’re positive I don’t look familiar to you? Perry Sommers doesn’t ring any bells?”
“I’m sorry, no.”
“Because I’m sure I’ve seen you before, and it’s driving me batshit.”
Maybe it was time to cut her off. She wasn’t slurring and slobbering yet, but her mind seemed a bit wonky. “Maybe because he’s the guitarist in the band you just saw an hour ago, Perry.”
“I know that, silly. I was talking about a different time.” She put her arm around my neck. “Isn’t she cute? I just love this girl.” Her drink collided with my mouth. “Try some. I’m getting child sizes now so I can try more flavors. And it’s all freeeee.”
“I’m pretty sure they don’t make child sizes of liquor.” I pushed the cup down. “No, thanks. My teeth still hurt from the last sip.”
“Would you like something else instead?” Chase asked.
I was about to say, ‘No, thank you, but if I change my mind, I can easily go up and get it myself’ when Perry said, “She’s a beer girl.”
“Well, you’re in the right city then.” Chase faced me straight on, making me wonder all over again if those gold specks were real or light-induced. Damn him. I didn’t want to be caught looking.
“She also likes tequila and whiskey, and well, you know, she likes the hard stuff.”
God, Perry. Shut up.
“I’m good, thanks. I don’t need anything right now.” I glared at Perry. “Isn’t Stu over there waiting for you?”
“Yep, I’d better go. Speaking of, do you happen to know his real name?”
“Stuart?” Chase said.
“Nope. Can you believe that after all the time I’ve known him, he never told me? I just know it’s not Stuart. What the fuck else could it be? It must be really bad to be such a secret. Stutholomew? Stuffleupagus?”
And with that, she teetered back to the table. I righted forward, both hands on the rails, catching the tail end of the show. “Lifesaver?”
“I filled in at the last minute. Their lead player’s wife went into early labor.”
“Well, you were incredible.” Shit. No, that came out wrong. I sounded too bubbly. “The entire band was great.” I toned it down a bit. “I really enjoyed the show.”
“Glad to hear that. I’d wondered since you left early.”
Hmm… I suppose it would have been hard to miss, given the intimate arena. I shook my head. “It had nothing to do with the music. I can see Hallowed Realm making it, and I’m not just saying that. A unique sound that also appeals to the masses? That rare combination will take you places.”
He tilted his head and smiled, making me question if I’d overdone it again. I was not some crazed fan hoping to have my strings plucked by a skilled, cute guitarist. There were plenty of perky women trolling these grounds who’d fill that role in a heartbeat. Come to think of it, why is he standing here conversing with me when there is no shortage of beautiful girls around who share his age bracket?
Unless he’s gay too…. He’s certainly hot enough for it. Wait, did I just think of him as hot? Perry must have possessed my mind for a second.
“They deserve it,” he said. “You’ll never meet a more decent group of guys. That’s why I didn’t hesitate to help out.”
I raised my eyebrow. “That’s why?”
He laughed hard, and I couldn’t help but join in. “Well, the huge thrill didn’t hurt either. Where else can a relatively unknown get such a massive audience? It’s fucking amazing.”
That it was. I scanned the ground below me, marveling at the massive amounts of ears and eyeballs who shared a love of music. How many bands over the years had started here as a blip, but had blown up to a zeppelin? It was a place for dreams to come true.
“You know,” I said, finding him fun to talk to, “I never bought into the whole ‘modern music sucks’ theory. No originality, same few chords repeated over and over to keep people from thinking too hard, blah, blah, blah. There’s always been bad music; it’s just not remembered as well as the good.”
The way his lips curved made me zero in on his mouth for a second too long before darting my eyes away. All his attention appeared to be straight on me. Maybe I was coming across as a babbling idiot, but I had the excuse of not getting out much.
“You don’t believe creativity’s dead?”
“Never. You just have to know where to look for it. You have to be willing to go outside the mainstream sometimes.” I laughed. “But I suppose I’m preaching to the choir here.”
“How about we continue this somewhere less crowded?”
“We are somewhere less crowded.”
He pointed to the Sky Glider. “We could take a ride.”
I barely had a moment to process his suggestion when Perry popped up, scaring the shit out of me. I leaped back. “Geez, Perry.” She had a huge grin on her face, neon pink emanating from her hand. “Let me guess—strawberry shortcake.”
“Nope, raspberry marshmallow. Hey, you should totally go for that ride.” She winked at me. I love her, but seriously? I wanted her to disappear right now. If she thought she was being subtle, she was failing miserably. “You know you want to. You brought it up when we got here.”
“No, Perry. That was you.”
“Same thing.”
“No, it’s not.” I turned to Chase, who looked amused. Things were taking a bizarre twist. “I don’t even know you.”
“Jillian, I’m not suggesting you follow me into a dark alley. There’re cops swarming all over this place. What do you think I’m going to do to you?”
Well, for starters, if he was a psycho, he could push me off the thing and plummet me forty feet to my death just for the fun of it. But then I suppose nothing was stopping him from throwing me off the roof. Maybe I was the deranged one for even thinking it was a possibility.
“He’s right, you know,” Perry said. I smiled sweetly, and she knew how to interpret it. “I’ll just be going now. I’ll be here when you get back, hanging with Stuffleupagus.”
Chase was staring at me, and I couldn’t help thinking how my night was worlds different compared to the day before. “Okay.” I shrugged. “Why not?”
I followed him out, avoiding Perry’s gaze. She didn’t need to make a big deal about a silly ride, and neither did I.
As soon as we were down the stairs and out the building, he grabbed my hand and steered me through the crowd. It was so unexpected. My blood surged, pumping hard into places it hadn’t bothered to reach in a while.
Please be gay .
We didn’t speak as we weaved through all the fairgoers holding cups and plates of food above their heads. It wouldn’t have been possible to hear, anyway. Not without getting right up into each other’s faces, and that was not an avenue I wanted to explore. Not while my brain was on overload trying to deal with the way my skin reacted against his. Just because he was wildly attractive didn’t mean it was appropriate for my body to respond to him. Unless he liked men. Then it’d be okay.
The fast-moving line for the glider was short, and as soon as we stepped into it, I detached my hand from his. I deliberated: Should I or should I not lay into him for taking my hand without permission? It seemed petty to do so; it really was a practical gesture considering the amount of people. I just didn’t appreciate the way he made me feel when he did it. But if he was into cock, I’d definitely overlook it.
“Jillian?”
“Huh? Oh, sorry.” The woman on duty was trying to keep things moving along quickly, and I wasn’t helping by having my personal dilemma. Just a short ride, Jillian . You can handle that.
She ushered us to stand in front of the cart as it swung up behind us. We fell back into the seat, and the bar closed down onto our laps. We began to move upward and, as an afterthought, I removed my flip-flops. I didn’t need them landing on some poor person below.
I crossed my legs at the ankles, my cheeks blazing when I glanced over and saw his eyes on my thighs. I’d stopped paying attention to my material-challenged dress… until I caught him staring. Unapologetically. Holy fuck, he didn’t even try to hide it; he just dragged his gaze up until it held mine.
The answer to the gay/not gay question just torpedoed me. It felt like my entire head had been blasted off.
I sucked in a breath and looked away, spotting the restaurant famous for its fried eggplant. It was my favorite; I definitely had to get me some of that before I left. Nope, couldn’t walk out before scarfing down a full order.
“What bands have you seen here before?” he asked.
“Way too many to list.”
“How about the last one then?”
I paused. Why did I suddenly have such a difficult time speaking? It’d been no problem before. What was the last band I saw? I could concentrate on that and stop being so ridiculous. I wasn’t about to let this boy trip me up.
I scanned my brain. It’d been so long. Smashing Pumpkins? No, that was before Daniel. The last time I was there, I’d brought him with me during the day and managed to come back later that night. “Violent Femmes,” I said, remembering.
“The magic prize is in your thighs.”
“Excuse me?” I glared at him. His eyes looked electric green up here.
“The Femmes. I was at that show too. We probably passed by each other without even knowing it.”
Seriously? I opened my mouth to make some crack about him passing by in a stroller but shut it when I recalled they played there all the time. He didn’t know which show I was referring to, and he really could have been there. Still….
“Why did you ask me to come on this with you, to leave the party?”
It made little sense to me. Did he think I was easy pickings? A hard-up, desperate woman begging for a little attention? But there was no possibility of him not finding someone else’s company. He had to realize that. The way he handled himself on stage, the panty-wetting looks, the… everything else. He’d have no difficulties.
“I think you’re interesting.”
God, what is with those fucking eyes? The way they got to me just pissed me off. I could feel them burning into my skin, orbs of flames licking their way through me. I shook my head sharply. Let the little fucker think you have a psychotic seizure disorder. Maybe he’ll stop looking then.
“Among other things.”
Now, what was that supposed to mean? Interesting, I could understand to a certain extent, but what exactly were ‘other things’? Perry was right; I really did need to get out more.
Obviously, I hadn’t repelled him enough to stop leering. Maybe not leering—that word had connotations of a dirty, old man. He was definitely not old, and I didn’t feel dirty. Well, not dirty in a slimy way, more like dirty in a fucking turned-on way.
What the hell is happening here?
My pulse had gone and hitched a ride with a runaway tank. I squeezed my legs together more tightly, trying to convince myself that I needed to keep my shoes from slipping. Until I remembered my fist was clutching them for dear life.
Up, up, up… I focused on the festival below me, taking a great fascination in the roofs we passed over littered with dropped items, and the tree leaves I could almost touch. The ride was already a quarter over. It was a beautiful view. I wouldn’t let some laddie affect me. I could do this.
I hummed “Wild Horses” as I looked around, not knowing what to say. Its melody calmed me, and I needed that to cut through the awkwardness. The conversation had been so free-flowing before; it was one thing to speak music with him, quite another to be the only two in a small airborne container. His closeness sparked my nerve endings to the point it was painful.
“Are you seeing anyone?”
I yanked my head to the side and faced him. Did I honestly think it was awkward before? Time to get real. I took the opportunity to study him while keeping my hormones in check. Maybe I was just lying to myself, but he suddenly appeared a bit older. If I tilted my head just so, and we weren’t directly under any lights, I could pass him for Perry’s age. Maybe.
Hmm…. Could I then push him up to thirty? Or put a bag over his head? Then he could be any age I wanted him to be.
Argh. What the hell is wrong with me? “No, I’m…” I was about to say divorced, but that was hardly his business. “Look, Chase, I don’t want to give you the wrong idea here. I think you’re interesting too,”— among other things —“but I don’t date younger men.”
“I didn’t say anything about dating.”
His eyes roamed back down to my heated, bare skin, revealed thanks to my dress riding up my thighs, and that’s when the frickin’ ride stopped. We were dangling up at the highest point, stuck together, and I thought I’d combust. Why was I the one sweating wearing next to nothing when he was in jeans, looking so cool?
Damn him. Damn this flying jail. It wasn’t uncommon to be trapped for a short time while someone had trouble getting on or off, but the timing sucked. At that point, I almost wished he’d lured me up there to fulfill his jollies by pushing me off. It would have been less demented than what I was feeling.
This boy was feeding off me with every blatant eyeful, causing my heart to jackhammer against my ribs until it damn near split open. Encouraging the heat to kick up a hundred more notches until I begged my body to hurry up and incinerate already. Not that it would have worked since I was so fucking wet.
This boy was turning me on big time, and it was so, so wrong.
The cables began to rotate, and we moved forward with a jerk. I turned my head to the left and attempted to identify the places that had set up shop since the last time I was there. Hmm… Martia’s Pizza, that was new. And what about—
His touch stopped me cold, and I froze. Didn’t take more than a fraction of a second before I melted again, dripping all over. God, what the hell? His fingertips pressed lightly just above my knee, and my body slammed into overdrive. I sucked in my bottom lip, not daring to look into those green and gold-specked irises, or whatever damn color they were now.
We were lowering; the closer the ground came into view, the more I started to panic. Once we were forced to get off… then what? I inhaled deeply, knowing I was being absurd. I would simply slip on my shoes and then walk away. Go back and meet up with Perry. Get my fried eggplant and go home, and pretend that I’d never dissolved into a puddle over something so juvenile.
The cart came to a rolling stop, and as soon as the safety bar lifted, he removed his fiery hand and we hopped out. I was both childish enough to turn away from him without a word and mature enough to handle everything that rushed through me. Intense stares. Heart-thumping touches. Big deal. I wasn’t an inexperienced teenager having her first crush.
I yelped when I felt my waist grasped and pulled back into something hard. There was too much stimuli for my brain to process. Noise and lights and smells from several different food vendors bombarded me all at once. I didn’t fight the touch nearly as much as I should have. My head was twirling as Chase spun me around and plastered me against a tall gate, his mouth crushing against mine.
The taste of his lips caused me to moan against him, which in turn caused him to press more strongly against me. The swarms of people around us disappeared; it was impossible to sense anything but him. When was the last time I felt something so hard? Jesus, he was a steel slab, but his mouth was soft, and his tongue was sweet and….
Fuck, this is not good.
Chase pulled back enough to let me catch my breath. His kiss had left me dizzy and shaken. My hands clenched around the wooden slats behind me to keep from collapsing. One little kiss had done that to me. God, I was so screwed.
He wound his fingers through my hair, grazing my neck, and I shuddered. I didn’t know what to think; my brain had officially taken leave and left my body in charge.
His mouth hovered over the skin of my neck, barely making contact and driving me insane. “I’d really like to fuck you, Jillian.”
I inhaled sharply, my head whirling. “Are you always this forward?” I whispered.
“When it’s something I want, and I want you fucking bad.”
I just about lost it. God, help me. I was practical and logical, and all those parts urged me to slap him and run away. But those parts were far, far away and diminishing rapidly. My cravings were too fierce to be rational.
One slow nod from me had him grabbing my hand and pulling me through all those warm bodies that’d suddenly reappeared. I let him lead, not knowing where we were going. Not caring. I was too far gone for that.
It was all a blur, and before I knew it, we’d returned to the martini terrace, going through the back way and into another area I didn’t recognize. He thrust the both of us into a small storage room, and with the door barely shut behind us, his hands and mouth found me again.
Lips down my neck, strong caresses up my thighs. The straps of my sundress dropped from my shoulders, and my bra was thrown off my body. It was happening so quickly. God, yes…! His teeth tugged on my nipple, and a low whimper escaped.
“You are so fucking hot.”
Kisses up and down my inner thighs, my panties dragged to the side, then tossed away to party with the bra. Yes, yes, yes, I needed this desperately. I pleaded with him not to stop when his tongue slipped through my cleft, and the pounding increased to a deafeningly bang. The rush careening inside had me reeling. So delicious. So fucking good.
So wrong.
That was my last thought right before my body exploded. The tremors knocked through me as my ears registered the crinkle of a condom wrapper. How could I have been so stupid not to think of that myself? It didn’t matter that it wasn’t the right time to get pregnant. I should still know better; I should—
I cried out when he pinned me against the wall, absolving me from my mind again as he drove deeply. The sheer strength of his cock took me powerfully, once again throwing me into another place entirely. I hadn’t experienced this type of manic passion since… ever.
“Oh, God….” He angled inside me, rubbing against my clit. “So hard.” I didn’t care what I sounded like; his thick steel completely devoured me.
I met his thrusts as my body slithered up and down. Hardness all around me—the wall, his muscles, and fuck, his cock. I started to build again—slow, rolling waves, picking up force—and I began to quiver.
“Like that?” he asked, his voice husky and turning me up high. Everything about him intensified my arousal. His breath on my neck. His chest crushing into mine. The way his arms boxed me in and trapped me.
I nodded, and he brought his mouth to mine, grinding me deeply with that glorious muscle as he kissed me softly. God, it’s magical. How have I gone so long without this? I was meant to have this pleasure, meant to scream out as the hardest cock I’ve ever felt mercilessly took me over and over and over….
The second orgasm shattered me, his mouth absorbing my moans while the spasms made me shake. I heard his distant groan as well, too far away to fully focus. The effect was more intense than the first, and my legs trembled as I slowly started to slide. A bead of sweat rolled down the side of my face, and I closed my eyes, basking in the delicious warmth.
Chase held on to me, grasping me tightly as I regained my senses. My lids fluttered open to see soft green staring back at me. If I looked long enough, I knew I’d find gold swimming inside, warming them further.
I darted my eyes away. I didn’t want to look, didn’t want to see his beautiful face or the flawless body that had just given me an indescribable amount of pleasure. I didn’t want any of it. I didn’t care that I was still buzzing. I didn’t care that it was amazing and incredible and mind-blowing.
But I did care that I’d just had the best sex of my life under the worst circumstances.
Fuck .