Lacey
17.
I’m fucked. I just got fucked. On the hood of a police car. By an officer. Every wildest sex fantasy I’ve ever had was just delivered with a chocolate donut on top. And I feel fucked both figuratively and physically.
I knew the man had a decent-sized penis from feeling it poke my butt at night and in the morning and from seeing it over a tiny display via FaceTime, but… What the hell was that and how did he make it fit inside of me? And what the hell am I supposed to do now? I’m ninety-nine percent sure Koa ruined me for every other man that walks this planet.
From a girl that didn’t even like to have sex because the experience always ended in trauma and not with coming, I can’t believe that he presses my buttons in minutes, maybe even just seconds. I’m guilty of being a horny slut for Officer Koa Maverick. And then the things he says… gosh. I can’t believe that he wants me. Me? I have nothing to offer but a fucked up past relationship and drama, oh and let’s not forget the shitty memories I probably bring up for him when he sees me because my story is the same as his sisters.
I don’t want to think about him ever again, but Adrian Sterling has weaseled himself into a part of my brain that will probably never stop whispering stupid remarks into other areas of my brain. I know I should’ve been appalled to see a man on the ground, blood spilling from his face, but I felt nothing more than pure satisfaction seeing him knocked out flat. Oh and maybe a little flutter in my tummy for Koa’s colleague and best friend, Ledger, who has a great right hand, as well as other great body parts. OK, I’m not normal.
I’m sure it is the trauma, but something in my brain is not working correctly because I feel like a teenage girl trapped between two crushes. Even though I think with Koa I’m pretty much over the crush phase, trapped into marriage and having two-point-five kids. He gives me husband and dad vibes, and my poor, stupid, slutty brain can’t help but fall for him.
Then there’s Ledger, and the way he protects me. I know he does it for Koa, but I like his presence, I like his jokes, the way he takes every fucking thing thrown at him with a piece of humor. But then there is the way he looks at me sometimes, all the humor gone, and I’m left with this hard side of him that I don’t think many people have seen before. Unless it’s his sex face, then I’m sure many women have seen this side of him before.
And that makes me jealous. It makes me jealous when people flirt with him or Koa, and many women do. Both of them got tons of numbers the last couple of weeks from random girls in random places, even when I was standing at their side. Girls would completely ignore me and make a move at one of the guys. I mean what the hell? What if I am his girlfriend?
I mean of course they wouldn’t think I would be the girlfriend to both of them, but still it was so rude. And it made the insecure part of me come back to life every damn time another girl approached. They would both build me up, all day long. Looking at me and treating me like a queen. Looking at me as if they felt the same way about me that I do about them and I would feel so confident. Confident that I looked good that day, or even something more life altering that I would be enough for a man other than Adrian, one or even two who are even hotter than him. I would be enough.
But then a crazy hot girl would come over while we were sitting at lunch, shoving a piece of paper to Ledger or Koa, and the confident Lacey would slip on a banana peel, flying against the wall of the race track. And I hate myself for it. Especially more so because the fuckwit Adrian hated me when I was jealous. We would get into the most intense arguments about my jealousy.
I tried to keep it in check, but the bubble burst today when I saw Koa’s ex-girlfriend. Yes, Rachel, the ex. I know I can’t throw rocks sitting in a glass house, since I’ve only just come out of a relationship but dude, really? She was so pretty it hurt, and the moment she looked at him I knew they both knew each other on more than one base.
Then Koa told me that they were together last year and still, even though he told me she meant nothing and that he broke it off with her because he wasn’t ready for a relationship, that she was the wrong girl, it hurt. Because at one point he decided that she would be worth it to try a relationship with.
And I hate it, hate that she has beautiful, brown hair, an amazing bone structure, full lips, and blue eyes. It made me so insecure that I couldn’t do anything else but act like a child afterward. Not knowing that Koa would pull a stunt like that, doing me on the hood of his car with his best friend watching. I think he even enjoyed Ledger watching us, but I don’t know if it was to rub it in his face, or if he actually enjoyed me being watched while coming.
And, speaking of best friends, I don’t even know what the hell I should be thinking about Ledger and Briana. I know she gave me the go ahead, but she told me to have fun, but I’m not the fun type. I’m the marriage, baby, and falling in love type. I could never get involved with Ledger just for funsies. I know my stupid heart would betray me and want to build a future with both men.
I still can’t believe Koa told me he wants me. I just don’t get it.
The car has become eerily quiet after I got fucked and I can’t blame them, both probably not knowing what the hell to do with me now that they’ve seen how easy I am. I mean, we did it on a car, behind some building. Someone could’ve seen me, someone probably did. Maybe someone took a nice movie for a website as I screamed like a bitch in heat. Shit, I probably look really ugly coming. Poor Koa.
My mind is racing like a damn horse, and I can’t stop it. I need to talk to Briana. She is the only one with the key to my stupidness. She loves me unconditionally, and will be my number one cheerleader, cheering me on for climbing Koa like a mountain. Or more him climbing inside of me like someone would into a cave. Jesus. The pictures in my head would be worth thousands of dollars on porn platforms.
The car comes to a halt, and I don’t even remember the drive or know how long we have been going for because my mind was racing with the crazy things happening around me right now. When I look out the window, I see that we stopped at a big building with graffiti lining every centimeter of the brick outside wall. The windows are tinted and secured with iron bars. I think we’re deep into downtown.
Koa shuts off the engine and climbs out the door, Ledger doing the same. Since I sit on Ledger’s side he is the first one to open my door. He meets my eyes when I climb out but I quickly look away, shame is probably written in bold letters all over my features, next to the word slut. Koa walks ahead of us, carrying four big bags of dozens of donuts with him. Ledger lets me lead in front of himself, following pretty closely, and it makes me even more nervous.
“Where are we?” I ask.
Ledger comes up quickly behind Koa to help him with opening a big door and I follow both men inside, where we are greeted with at least a dozen teenagers.
“Welcome to Hilbridge Youth Center,” Koa says, looking back at me with a grin.
I feel my panties melt off. Damn him.
“Yo man you came!” says one of the Hispanic-looking boys venturing in our direction. He looks hopefully at the pink and orange bags in Koa’s hand.
“And you brought treats, nice,” another one with a pierced lip says as he looks up and down my body.
Ledger steps in front of me to shield his view and the dark-haired teenage boy snickers.
“She your girlfriend?”
“None of your business,” Ledger mutters, pulling me with him, still behind him. “Don’t look at her,” he orders in his gruff voice, and Koa chuckles.
“Chill, they are dumb kids,” he mocks, and the boy’s expression turns to anger.
“You’re dumb, cabron.” He mouths off, but Koa looks unimpressed.
“What did I tell you, Miguel?”
The boy looks a little defeated. “Sticks and stones may break my bones but names can never hurt you,” he repeats, Koa voicing the words with him.
“Exactly. Think twice before you insult someone with a gun,” he tells the boy, who shuffles next to Koa like a little puppy.
“I’m sorry, Officer,” he says.
Koa ruffles his hair.
“It’s important you stick to that, OK? You never know when it could change your life,” he tells him honestly and sternly before breaking into a grin when the kid looks even more embarrassed. “Go get the others, we brought sprinkled donuts.”
Ledger tenses beside me, glaring at Koa. “You did not bring my donuts in with us, did you?”
I giggle, and their attention turns to me.
“Where the hell are you going to put more of them? You almost had the entire box, Ledger.”
“I’m still growing,” he answers, looking through the boxes on a table that magically appeared out of nowhere.
I need to pay more attention to my surroundings when I’m with Koa and Ledger rather than to them.
“You’re almost thirty, there will be no more growth for you,” Koa states, slapping Ledger’s hand away when he tries to steal one of the last two sprinkled donuts in the box.
“I’m growing muscles you idiot.”
“You’re growing a fat ass and nothing more,” Koa tells him.
I have to hide my grin when they both bicker in front of me like two old ladies. Their friendship is magical, like mine and Briana’s friendship, open and honest. And I would never do both of them, not in any way. That is a promise I made to myself just now, the horny side of my brain can be shut down if it means I will never come between them.
Teenagers arrive all around us, emptying the boxes in minutes. Ledger has to watch a girl with braids eat both of his last sprinkled donuts and he looks really unhappy about it. The kids mainly ignore me but talk to both Ledger and Koa about this and that, asking them questions about homework and getting girls.
My heart clenches. I can’t believe that they do this for these kids once a week. The girl with the braids introduced herself as Trish and told me about both men coming to visit weekly. She told me they had a bad incident in the Youth Center last year, something to do with a parent who tried to set everything on fire. Koa and Ledger both had patrol that day and arrested the person. They came to check on the teens a week later and then another week later. They always brought donuts and it kind of became a ritual.
She said they didn’t visit last week and she was really worried because they never forgot a Friday. She texted them so they came a day early this week. She told me it probably has something to do with me because they told the group they don’t have girlfriends and never wanted to have one, so I might be special and I’m really pretty. She said the last part with a cute blush on her face, making me blush as well. When she asked me whose girlfriend I am, I told her that they rescued me too out of a scary situation but didn’t go into much more detail, hoping she got the memo that no one claimed me as their girlfriend.
Three other girls come over, smiling happily and munching on donuts, as I try to talk myself out of the relationship status mess. When Koa puts an arm around my shoulders, making the butterflies in my stomach go crazy, the girls’ eyes almost pop out of their sockets.
“Can I steal Lacey from you guys for a second?” he asks and they just nod, their heads bobbing up and down.
Koa pulls me away from them out of hearing shot.
“You OK?” he asks.
I nod, unable to speak myself in his presence. He chuckles, looking from me to Ledger who magically appeared next to us. Damn it. I blended out my surroundings again.
“Are you good at cutting hair?” Ledger asks, and I look bewildered at him.
“Huh?”
He grins, showing me a dimple.
“You’re in beauty school right? Do you know how to cut hair yet?” he asks again, and I just nod.
“Only men though, but I’m quite good. You need a haircut, Hyde?” I ask, trying not to be flirty, but it comes out naughtier than I intended, and Koa chuckles.
“Not yet, sweet Lacey. But I’ll make sure to break up with my hairdresser for you.” He goes through his hair with his big hands, making his strands look extra wild. “But there is this boy here that definitely needs a haircut and can’t afford one. If you want to come back with us next week, would you be able to bring scissors and stuff to do it? We will pay you of course.”
I hold my hands up and stop him.
“I will most definitely not accept money from you. But yes, I would love to come back and do haircuts. You can tell all of them that I can cut their hair for free next week. I’m still learning but I always look out for models so maybe I could take in one or two girls for a trim and maybe a bit of color in a few weeks when I’m a little more professional.”
Ledger’s eyes twinkle with something I haven’t seen yet.
He clears his throat and says, “Thank you, Lace.”
I nod and look back to Koa, who looks equally happy with the help I’m offering.
“Oh and the donuts will be on me next week as well. I will officially have my first paycheck from Campbell by then,” I tell them proudly.
Koa grins even wider.
“We’ll see, babe,” he tells me, and my knees buckle again.
Another boy who has a question about his homework interrupts us, and I make myself busy collecting all the empty boxes. I put them back in the bags we brought them in, making it easier to get rid of the trash. Then I annoy Ledger until he shows me the pantry with the cleaning supplies so I can clean up the aftermath of the donut party, wiping away all the crumbs and moving on to clean some other surfaces nearby.
“Oh that was actually my job,” a sweet, gentle voice says.
When I turn around I see a beautiful young woman, probably between mine and Koa’s ages, approach me. Her hair is jet black and flows around her beautiful face. She has sharp cheekbones, beautiful lips, and a petite nose. Her dark-brown eyes are looking at me with light, and I can’t help but fall a little in love with her on the spot.
“Uh, I was just getting rid of the crumbs. I’m a freak when it comes to cleaning,” I admit.
She smiles even wider and holds out her hand.
“I’m Lucia.”
“Hi. Lacey.”
I take her hand and we both smile at each other
“So you are here with Officers Maverick and Hyde?” she asks.
I nod.
“They have been so amazing with the kids, helping out and teaching them the simplest things and tricks in any case they meet a corrupt cop. My little brother never liked coming here too much but now he makes sure to be here at least half the week, waiting for donuts and conversations with good adults. We don’t have so many where we come from.”
I nod sadly and look at all the kids that are gathered around the two officers. I couldn’t be more proud. I might say I’m a little shocked as I never thought they had a secret like this but I’m glad they brought me with them and showed me this place.
“I try to come here every Friday now too,” she adds.
My heart plummets when I see her tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, looking longingly at the guys. Shit. I know they are not blind and I’m sure at least one of them has had something with her. Double shit. Here comes my jealousy. I feel a burn down my chest and hate myself. She is so pretty and nice and comes here to work with kids who clearly need it, and all I do is get fucking jealous over her wanting at least one of the men I think about day and night.
Lucia looks back to me and probably sees my internal struggle because I have never been good at hiding my emotions and apologizes.
“I’m sorry, Lacey. I didn’t mean it like that, is one of them your boyfriend? Is that the reason they brought you with them?”
I feel even more embarrassed. Not that she saw me getting jealous, no she saw me getting jealous over nothing. I shake my head no, my face probably crimson right now.
“No it’s totally fine, Lucia. They are not my boyfriends,” I stumble and have to close my eyes in embarrassment, wishing the ground would just swallow me up. Boyfriends? As in both of them? I am so stupid. I hear her giggle and open my eyes back up.
“Oh girl, there is nothing to be embarrassed about I promise you. We all fell for them the day they took out their cuffs to arrest someone in front of our eyes. It should be illegal to be this attractive when you have a police badge.”
I fidget with my hands but can’t stop a giggle from escaping.
“You are one hundred percent right,” I tell her.
She pulls me into an explanation as to why I’m riding around with two hot cops. I tell her a little about the story with Adrian, leaving out some ugly details of course but she still looks pretty shocked.
“I’m so sorry, Lacey. But it’s good that they watch out for you. It could’ve gotten so much worse,” she starts, blinking away some tears, making me an emotional mess even though I’ve barely known her for ten minutes.
“My mum, she had an abusive boyfriend after my dad passed away, and it was awful. He beat her, me, and my brother. It got so bad that he almost killed her one day. It was the best and worst day of my life because I worried so much about my mum waking back up again, but he finally got arrested for attempted murder. He’s in prison now, and our life has been so much better since then.”
I genuinely feel happy for her. A part of me hurts knowing that it could’ve been me, but I feel stupid at the same time because Adrian abused me verbally more than he did physically and now I have two guys following me around like security even though there are woman or people in general out there who need this help much more than I do.
“I’m so sorry,” I tell her. “But I’m glad he is in prison now and that your life is much better, I hope I see the day when Adrian is behind bars too.”
“Amen,” comes from behind Lucia, and I look up to see both men standing directly behind her.
Her gaze starts to wander up Ledger’s body, and there it is again, my jealous fucking streak lashing out.
“Officer Maverick, Officer Ledger.”
“Hi, Ms. Cruz,” Ledger says, nodding to her. “You ready to leave, Lace?” he asks me.
I feel slightly better than I did a few seconds ago. I nod my head yes and say goodbye to Lucia and the kids before both men usher me out to the car. My thoughts spiral back out of control as we leave the Youth Center.