Chapter 10
Eleventh Birthday
LaSalle
I look down at my wife as she sleeps. Tasha looks like the queen she is resting against our black bedsheets. Glancing down at her naked body, I begin to grow hard.
A grin comes to my lips. I’ve already spent hours worshiping all those sexy curves. The same curves that have given me new strength this evening and four children to cherish each day.
A pang of guilt hits my heart. As much as we’ve both wanted a sixth, I’m starting to believe that’s not going to happen. Lucia might have been the last.
Guilt fills me because I can’t give my wife what she wants. We were so happy to be having another little girl. With everything else going on, she had been our hope, our bright spot. The silver lining in it all.
I held her in my arms and felt so much love for her. She was so tiny and precious. However, it ripped my heart out when she didn’t make it through the night.
My ears buzzed as they gave us the news. To this day, I can’t help but wonder if it was all because of me. Was losing our daughter my punishment for all the blood I have on my hands?
I thought after giving my wife some time to heal, I would be able to try again. I never thought there’d be anything I couldn’t or wouldn’t give this woman. However, in the last few months, each time her cycle comes, it’s like a glaring sign that I’m failing her.
With seven children in all, you wouldn’t think this would be a big deal to either of us. Yet I know my wife. I know the amazing mother she is. Tasha deserves all her heart’s desires.
Not just because I love making babies with her, but because she shines at caring for the children we share. I’ve watched her become a fierce protector of our brood.
“I love you,” I murmur, then lean over her to kiss her lips.
My mind goes to the one child who clings to Tasha the most. My son Sammy is as protective of Tasha as she is of him. Where has the time gone?
How can Sammy be turning eleven? I still remember the day he was born. If only I knew then how special my boy would be, I couldn’t be prouder of him.
I think Sammy has taught us all a lot about life. I know I cherish each moment more than I ever have. The gift Ellen left him with has left us all to marvel at my boy.
Shaking my head, I reach to pull the sheet over Tasha before I climb from the bed as Sammy’s words come back to me from earlier. He’d stopped in his tracks. From where he sat with his younger brothers, he looked me in the eyes with gray ones so much like mine.
His words come back to me now. She wrote a letter for this birthday. You will have to give it to me. There will be one for you this year too. Don’t ignore it. That may have been their final major challenge against you.
It is me they will challenge head-on next. Her words will free you for what’s to come, what the others have to do. Who I must become.
I rub my forehead as his words echo through my head. I’ve put this off long enough. Throwing my legs over the side of the bed, I then pad my naked body into the en suite.
I jump into the shower to wash away the hours of sex clinging to me. This is just another form of procrastination. Those letters are awaiting me, but I don’t know if I’m ready to tear open those wounds.
Instead, I lather soap over my body then shampoo into my hair, trying to get lost in the heat of the spray. I hiss a bit when the soap running down my back stings. A chuckle bubbles from my lips as I remember encouraging Tasha as she clawed at my back while I thrust my way into her tight pussy.
We both got a little carried away. Not to say I would change a thing about our lovemaking. We know just how to please one another.
For eight years, we’ve had time to learn each other. I know my wife better than she knows herself. My thoughts go to Ellen.
I once thought I knew her as my wife, but I had been wrong. We didn’t know each other at all. Not like I know Tasha.
I know Tasha’s soul. I’ve seen myself within her. I think that’s why I’m putting these letters off.
Something tells me Sammy will reflect more of me than his mother. I don’t know if I want that for him. I lift my face to the stream and sigh.
I can’t change what will be. I can only prepare myself for what’s to come. I’m learning to be grateful for this gift.
The Alliance has been built from knowing things ahead of time. If Ellen can help me prepare our son, who am I to ignore her words?
I nod at my thoughts and turn off the water. Stepping out of the shower, I wrap a towel around my waist and head for my walk-in closet, where the box of letters sits. I take a seat on the floor and place the box down before me.
Lifting the lid, sure enough, I find a letter marked for Sammy for his eleventh birthday and another marked for me. I pick up the two letters and note there’s another for Jessica marked for a month after Sammy’s birthday. Curious, I remove it from the box as well.
Leaving all the others untouched, I replace the lid. I had once thought of reading them all in one sitting, but they’re not all for me. After some thought, I realized it’s better to allow things to unfold in the time in which she saw them.
The one thing I have been sure of is that these events won’t change, not by any of our doing. We can only manage our roles in these foretold events.
I open the letter addressed to me and inhale deeply. Seeing Ellen’s handwriting reminds me that I once failed a wife to the greatest extent. Not because I didn’t love her but because we weren’t living our truths.
Ellen wouldn’t have survived who I’ve become. She would never have become who I needed in my corner. I chuckle to myself. She never would have become the leader Tasha is. I’m not going to fool myself into thinking she ever could have.
LaSalle,
I will call you this now, as I believe this is who everyone knows you as. This is who you always were. Don’t worry. I know I was never meant to meet this side of you.
My purpose was far different than Monique’s. I’m sorry. Tasha’s.
You know her as Tasha, as you should. While I could give Sammy the gift of sight, Tasha will help you give Sammy the gift of being a ruler. It begins now, LaSalle.
You will need to put your pride aside and allow them all to do their parts. The Russian, the Italians, and the Irish lot, they all have something to impart. The Donatis will help him feel understood.
Uri is not trying to take your place. Sammy will just find a lot of himself within their family. Misha will help him to understand one of his greatest challenges and how to handle it in the end.
However, once the others are done, he will come to you for the finishing touch. Then and only then will he be prepared to become greater than you. It isn’t wrong to allow him to be prepared.
You aren’t a bad father for allowing this to be. You may have slain one dragon, but you didn’t burn the nest. Sammy will be the one; he will lead those who will set flames to your enemies once and for all.
They have gone into hiding and will come out to challenge his rule, not yours. What the world will take as his greatest weakness will become his greatest strength. Like you, Sammy will not be loud in his power, but he will be heard. Allow him to find his voice.
Although you and Tasha will want to fight his battles for him, you will learn he will never start a war he can’t win, and he will never lose a war he didn’t start.
Be there to pull him back from the edge, but don’t stop him from stepping toward it. Understand he sees where he’s going and that’s why he’s about to embark on this journey.
Eleven is a big year for him. It’s the year he begins to see much further. Seconds have become hours. Hours will become days. Soon, it will all consistently turn into specific times and moments.
Hold him when he comes to you. You will always be his anchor. Your family will always be his reason.
You’re doing great, LaSalle. My quiet storm. My king of kings. The Don of Dons.
Love,
Ellen
I wipe at the single tear that falls as I finish reading the letter. It’s insane to me that she knew to write this letter. I have so much guilt over bringing my sons into this world. Elijah, at six, clings to Logan whenever he’s around.
Sammy and Uri already have this thing between them. While I do feel a little jealous at times, I would never interfere with their bond. Uri and Micheal have done a lot to help Sammy.
I can add Sim to that as well. When Misha is stateside, he spends time with Sammy also. It seems this all has always been inevitable.
I read the letter once again to see if there is something I’ve missed. I frown as I think of Sammy’s words from earlier.
It is me they will challenge next. Her words will free you for what’s to come, what the others have to do. Who I must become.
I clench my jaw. We thought we finished this war, but it seems it’s not mine to end. I have started something my son will finish. I snort.
I’ve looked into my son’s eyes. He will be no Sam. Sammy has known who he is from the time he was a small boy. His war with himself will not be the same—if he has one.
If they want to take on Locatelli blood, so be it. My boy will be ready.