Chapter Five #2
He said nothing. The muscles along his jaw tightened, and his gaze drifted briefly toward the sea as though searching for refuge there.
“It matters little now,” he said quietly. “What is done is done.”
“It matters to me.” Her voice softened, though the words carried more weight than anything she had said before. “I loved ye.”
He flinched as if the confession struck like a blow. Gabriel’s head turned sharply back toward her, his expression faltering.
Cecily’s throat tightened as she forced the rest of the words past the ache in her chest. “Ye shattered my heart without a single explanation. I deserve to know why.”
The wind hissed softly through the rigging above them. Gabriel exhaled slowly, running a hand through his damp hair. For several long moments, he said nothing at all.
Then, quietly, he said, “I heard ye.”
Cecily frowned. “Heard me?”
“Aye.” He shifted his weight, clearly uncomfortable with the admission. “The day before I sailed,” he said. “Ye were outside the baker’s shop. Ye were speaking with Cate.”
Recognition flickered faintly in Cecily’s eyes, though confusion still clouded her expression.
“I had come to find ye,” Gabriel continued. “I meant to ask if ye would meet me at the cliffs that evening.” His gaze lowered to the deck between them. “But before I could call out… I heard what ye said.”
A cold knot began to form in Cecily’s stomach. “What did ye hear?”
Gabriel’s voice roughened. “Ye told her ye did not know if ye could spend years waiting for a man who might never return.” His gray eyes lifted to hers again, darker now with old hurt. “That ye did not know if ye were strong enough for such a life.”
Cecily went utterly still.
“And I thought…” He swallowed hard. “I thought ye were preparing to end the betrothal.”
The words hung heavily in the air.
“I would rather be the man who walked away,” he said quietly, “than the fool who stood there while the woman he loved told him she did nae want him.”
Cecily stared at him, disbelief flooding through her. “That…” She shook her head slowly. “That is why ye broke my heart?”
Gabriel’s shoulders stiffened. “I believed I was sparing us both.”
“By deciding for me?” Her voice rose despite her best effort to remain calm. “I was frightened, Gabriel!” she burst out. “Of course I was frightened.”
The wind whipped her cloak behind her as emotion surged free at last.
“Loving a sailor means living every day with the knowledge that the sea may swallow him whole. That one day a storm will come and he will simply… never return.”
Her voice cracked. “But fear is not the same as wanting to leave ye.”
Gabriel’s expression faltered.
Cecily’s gaze burned into his. “If ye had stepped forward that day instead of hiding and listening like a spy, ye would have heard the rest.”
His brows furrowed. “The rest?”
“Aye.”
Her chest rose and fell as she fought to steady her breathing. “I told Cate that even if I were frightened… even if the waiting would break my heart…” Her voice softened. “I would wait for ye anyway.”
For a long moment he simply stared at her, the color draining from his face. “I did nae hear that,” he murmured.
“Nay,” Cecily said bitterly. “Because ye had already decided what I meant.”
Silence stretched between them again, heavy with everything that had been lost.
Gabriel dragged a hand across his face, regret etched deeply into every line of his expression. “I thought I was protecting my pride,” he admitted hoarsely.
His gaze lifted to hers, raw and unguarded now. “Instead, I broke the heart of the only woman I have ever loved.”
The wind moved softly between them, stirring the rigging above. And for the first time since she had stepped aboard the ship, Cecily saw the truth written plainly in Gabriel’s eyes. He’d spoken the truth. He had never stopped loving her.
Cecily stood very still for a moment, the wind tugging gently at the edges of her cloak as Gabriel’s words settled between them. The regret in his eyes was unmistakable now, stripping away the distance that had existed between them for months.
Slowly, cautiously, she lifted her hand.
For an instant, Gabriel did not move, as though afraid that if he did, the fragile moment would shatter.
Then he stepped forward.
Her fingers brushed his chest first, feeling the warmth of him through the soft linen of his tunic. The contact sent a quiet shiver through her, one that had nothing to do with the wind.
“Cecily…” he murmured.
Before he could say more, she closed the small distance between them.
Gabriel gathered her into his arms with a breath that sounded like relief, pulling her close as though he feared she might disappear if he loosened his hold. Cecily pressed her cheek against his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath her ear.
For a long moment, they simply stood that way, the world beyond the ship fading into little more than wind and sea.
“I am sorry,” Gabriel said quietly above her head. “God forgive me, Cecily, I was a fool.”
His arms tightened around her.
“I hurt ye when I should have trusted ye.”
She lifted her head then, looking up at him. The sternness that had once defined his expression had softened, leaving behind a vulnerability she had rarely seen in him before.
“We were both foolish,” she said gently.
Gabriel shook his head slightly. “Nay. I allowed my pride to speak louder than my heart.”
His hand rose to brush a stray strand of hair from her face, his fingers lingering briefly along her cheek.
“I have missed ye every day since I left.”
The sincerity in his voice made her breath catch.
“And I have loved ye every one of those days.”
Emotion swelled in her chest, too strong to hold back. Without thinking further, Cecily leaned forward.
Their lips met.
The kiss was soft at first—tentative, questioning—but Gabriel’s arms drew her closer, deepening the embrace. The familiar warmth of him surrounded her, his hand sliding gently along her back as though reacquainting himself with a touch he had feared lost forever.
When they finally parted, Cecily realized she was smiling through a blur of emotion.
Gabriel exhaled softly, resting his forehead briefly against hers.
“Come,” he said after a moment, his voice quieter now. “Let us go somewhere a bit less exposed before the entire crew decides to stand about staring.”
A hint of humor returned to his tone, easing the lingering tension between them.
Taking her hand in his, he guided her toward the companionway and down the narrow stairs below deck. The sounds of the harbor softened as they descended—the creak of ropes, the cry of gulls, the steady wash of water against the hull.
At the end of the passage, Gabriel pushed open a door.
His private quarters.
Cecily had been there once before, months ago when they had still been betrothed, yet stepping inside again stirred a rush of memories.