Chapter 3 #2
“It’s Ms. Julep,” I correct her without enthusiasm, mostly because I’m no longer emotionally invested in that surname. “What adjustments can I help you with?”
Alana exhales hard because clearly, I’ve already disappointed her. She scans the setup again and purses her lips.
“Some of the visuals are working against us,” she says flatly. “There’s too much texture. Too much history. It distracts from the narrative we’re trying to sell.”
“Which is?” I ask.
“Effortless fantasy,” she replies. “Clean lines. Soft lighting. Something aspirational without asking the audience to think too hard about where they are.”
I nod slowly. “So… again, remove anything that reminds people this place has an identity.”
Her smile is thin. “I’d phrase it as streamlining the experience.”
Ruby makes a sound that might be a cough or might be the beginning of homicidal rage. “How thoughtful of you to consider the feelings of people who don’t understand the culture of the place they’re visiting.”
Alana’s smile doesn’t waver. “Brand management requires strategic thinking about audience demographics and engagement metrics. I’m sure you understand.”
“Oh, I understand perfectly,” Ruby says sweetly. “I understand that you’re—”
“Ruby,” I interrupt before she can finish that sentence with words that might get us sued. “I think Lani needs help in the kitchen.”
Ruby gives me a look that promises we’ll discuss this later, then heads toward the main building with a purposeful stride that guarantees innocent vegetables are going to suffer.
Alana watches her go before turning back to me.
“I’m glad we can have a professional conversation about this.
Wedding content is crucial for Candy’s brand expansion into the matrimony market.
We need to reposition the tiki torches. There are far too many in one shot.
It’s reading tourist brochure, not aspirational lifestyle.
And we need to move that table brimming with leis. It looks ridiculously excessive.”
“As in too many leis?” I blink at her, and she nods. “This is Hawaii. We invented the lei. What’s next, you going to tell me to get rid of the ocean because it’s too wet?”
Alana slides her sunglasses down just long enough to glare. “Your sarcasm doesn’t photograph well.”
“Neither does Erwin,” I shoot back.
“Don’t I know it. But, honey, if Candy is into him, the whole world will want that man in their bed.”
Before I can respond—and it’s probably for the best, since I’m not sure my response would be fit for public consumption—Koa appears at my side, looking as if he’s just escaped from something unpleasant.
“Everything under control here?” he asks while his eyes scan the crowd with a bone-tired wariness only the past few homicides could provide. He’s so achingly handsome, I’m half moved to drag him to the nearest lava rocks and have my way with him.
“Just discussing cultural sensitivity,” I sniff. “You know, the importance of respecting indigenous traditions versus maximizing social media engagement.”
Koa’s jaw ticks in a way that suggests he has opinions about people who treat Hawaiian culture like a photo backdrop. He takes a moment to frown at the woman before us. “I see.”
Alana frowns back as she comes to the realization she’s lost her audience. “I should check on the photographer setup for tomorrow’s shots,” she says, already moving away. “We’ll continue this conversation later, Ms. Delulu.”
“It’s De-Julep,” I shout after her, but the woman is already gone. “Speaking of delulu—as in delusional—they all are.”
Koa shakes his head. “That woman is colder than shave ice.”
“That’s exactly what Ruby said about her.”
“That’s because Ruby is a smart woman.”
“Is it wrong that I’m craving shave ice now?”
His brows arch a notch. “I was hoping you were craving something else.”
Heat floods my cheeks, and I bite down on a smile. “Detective Hale, are you flirting with me?”
“That depends.” His eyes hold mine, and every last bit of me melts on cue. “Is it working?”
“Maybe.” I cross my arms, trying to look unaffected while my pulse does the hula. “Though your timing could use work. My ex-husband is literally fifty feet away.”
“I noticed.” His jaw tightens slightly. “Hard to miss him hovering around you like a territorial terrier.”
“A terrier?” I can’t help but laugh as the waves slam against the shoreline. “That’s the best you’ve got?”
“Would you prefer I compare him to a chihuahua? Because that also works.”
“Stop making me like you more.”
His mouth twists. “Why would I do that?”
“Because—” I gesture vaguely at the chaos around us. “—wedding week. Drama. Not to mention the dead bodies that will inevitably show up because that’s my specialty now.” I jest. A little.
“Fair point.” He steps slightly closer, close enough that I catch the scent of ocean salt and something woodsy. The palm trees sway in our direction like they’re trying to eavesdrop. “Though I should mention that watching you handle chaos is becoming my favorite pastime.”
A laugh catches in my throat. “You have terrible taste in entertainment.”
“Or excellent taste in women who can solve a murder in flip-flops.”
I press my lips together. “That was one time.”
“Two, if we’re counting.”
“We’re not counting.” I poke his chest, which is a mistake because it’s solid and warm, and now I’m thinking about things I shouldn’t be thinking about with my ex-husband’s wedding party twenty yards away.
On second thought, it’s exactly where my mind should be.
“And you’re distracting me from my professional responsibilities. ”
In the very best way, and he knows it.
“Your professional responsibility right now is hosting your ex’s wedding.” His voice drops a notch. “I’m offering a much better distraction.”
Amen to that.
“Believe me, it’s tempting.” And it is. So tempting that my decision-making skills are filing for early retirement. “But I should probably— Oh what the heck.”
“Sphynx!” Candy’s voice cuts through the moment like a chainsaw through a wedding cake before I could trot Koa off behind the nearest plumeria tree. “There you are! We need to discuss the ceremony timeline!”
Koa takes a step back, but his eyes still hold mine for a beat too long.
“Saved by the influencer?” I make a face because it’s definitely not true.
“More like interrupted by the influencer.” His voice is low enough that only I hear it. “We’ll continue this later.”
“That a promise or a threat, Detective?”
“Both.” He tips his head slightly. “I should make the rounds,” he finally says. “Try to behave yourself.”
“When do I not behave myself?” I ask, batting my lashes his way.
He gives me a look that could melt lava rock. “That’s a trick question, right?”
“Possibly.”
“Exactly.” He tilts his head toward the south end of the beach. “I’ll keep an eye on things. You stay visible. No sneaking off.”
A grin breaks out on my face without my permission. “Oh, Detective, if I sneak anywhere, you’ll be the first to know.”
I watch him go, and try to remember how to breathe.
“Oh my gosh, is he single?” Candy appears at my elbow, tracking Koa with her eyes like a lioness who’s just spotted dinner. “Because that jawline is absolutely made for content—I mean, he’s very attractive in a general sense.”
Right. This is going to be a long week.
“Oh shoot,” she snaps her fingers, and a hot pink fingernail goes flying.
“I forgot what I was going to ask you. Where is Alana when you need her? Honestly, sometimes I think she forgets who signs her paychecks. I have half a mind to kill her.” She stalks off to do who knows what.
To commit a homicide if she’s being literal.
She got the half a mind part right. And well, that’s probably a bit too generous.
I stand in comfortable silence for a moment, watching the luau swirl around me like a tempest in a coconut shell.
The band has moved on to murdering “Tiny Bubbles,” while tourists post selfies with flaming tiki torches, and somewhere in the distance, I can hear Bertha lecturing someone about proper wedding etiquette.
Ruby reappears at my side like magic, carrying two fresh mai tais. “Lani sends these with her compliments and a warning that if anyone else criticizes her authentic Hawaiian cuisine, she’s going to start throwing poi.”
“Did you see—” I start to ask about Koa, but Ruby interrupts.
“Yes, I saw Detective Hot Stuff looking like he wanted to take a bite out of you right there in front of the moon and your ex-husband.” She hands me a mai tai with a knowing smirk.
“And before you ask, yes, I also saw the Great Halea Seduction Attempt. The detective escaped with his virtue intact, though I’m not sure how much longer that’ll last if you keep looking at him like that. ”
“Like what?” I take a long sip of the mai tai.
“Like you’re trying to decide between jumping him or jumping off the nearest cliff to preserve your sanity.” She clinks her glass against mine. “Smart money is on option one, by the way. Much more fun. Now stop staring at where he went and help me enjoy this disaster.”
She lifts her drink, and we clink glasses once again. “To surviving this week,” she says.
“To surviving this night,” I counter, because honestly, that seems like a more achievable goal at this point.
The luau continues to unfold around us in all its chaotic glory.
Candy is now posing with a group of tourists who’ve clearly never seen a ring light before, Erwin is hiding behind a palm tree with his third mai tai, and Della, the bride’s crooning sister, has cornered someone near the dessert table to discuss her music career.
“Look,” Ruby says, pointing toward the main building. “Even the cats have joined the party.”
Sure enough, Pineapple and Spam have appeared, stalking through the crowd with the confidence of resort owners surveying their domain. Pineapple immediately heads for the dessert table, while Spam positions himself near the appetizer station like a furry bouncer.