Lemon Crush

14. August

14

AUGUST

Cynics shouldn’t blush when someone asked them a simple question, I thought, feeling my cheeks burn. They also didn’t try to change the subject and run away, but here I was, saying, “I should get back.”

I didn’t get up. The only thing I was able to move at the moment was my mouth. “Bernie might need me again, and I think I’m going to take Phoebe’s night shifts, by the way. At least this next one. If I can handle it and don’t set anything on fire, I might be able to cover them until she gets back and still get your billing work done during the day.”

And now I was rambling.

Wade put his hand on my leg to stop me from going anywhere. As if I could, with my hands clutching the bottom edge of my stool in a white-knuckled grip. They stayed there as his fingers gathered my skirt up just enough that they could slip beneath it, his touch deliciously rough on the bare skin of my knee.

“You don’t want to leave yet,” he said knowingly, holding me captive with his eyes as well as his touch. “You came in here like a sunny day, with your sexy blue skirt and confident smile. There’s no need to get nervous now, just because I asked you a question.”

Was I nervous? Why was I nervous? And was it suddenly hotter in this office? “You only like my skirt because it’s proof that I actually own normal clothing.”

He gathered more of the fabric in his big hands, revealing the skin of my thighs to his gaze.

“I like you in this skirt.” He licked his lower lip and scraped it with his teeth. “The way it sways and clings when you move, teasing at what’s underneath. I bet all those responders are lingering over their food, just to watch you walk by.”

“Not to burst this bubble, but it’s your sister they’re watching. And you’ve seen what’s underneath it. Well, a lot of it.” He’d touched even more of it the other night. “Maybe it slipped your mind.”

He got to his feet and nudged my knees apart to step into my space, my skirt still loosely bunched in his fists. “Nothing about you slips my mind. Even when you’re trying to distract me with that quick tongue of yours. Let me remind you what we were talking about. You said you didn’t know what you wanted. Other than me ,” he repeated.

I might have a quick tongue, but his mood changes were making me dizzy. He’d been a stranger for days, a friend and instructor over lunch, and now he was looming over me like the living embodiment of sex. He’d done the same thing the other night. Acted like he couldn’t resist me in the pool and then slept beside me without a hint of arousal. Was it any wonder I was a little confused?

I swallowed, forcing my words past a tight throat while staring at his hands. “I did say that, but it wasn’t a good idea to admit it out loud. Especially now, since the computer stuff is a favor for Phoebe, but if I work at the icehouse and get tips, it would make this an actual job that you’d be in charge of. You’d be your landlady’s boss.”

He freed one of his hands to lift my chin. “We’ve known each other too long for that, August. But if you want to role-play a few forbidden fantasies, we’ve got a lot to work with. Boss. Landlady. Sister’s best friend. Babysitter.”

I muffled a gasp of interest and arousal. Not only was he thinking along the same lines I’d been, but he’d added a few illicit options to the pot. He actually had been my babysitter more than once over the years.

That was not going in my book. But I’d still be thinking about it later tonight. When I was alone.

“Do you keep a secret stash of dirty romance books hidden under your science fiction collection or something? Because in one sentence, you’ve covered most of the best plot lines.”

His smile was hot enough to make me squirm a little. “I’ve spent years saving up enough ideas of my own. Good, bad and downright filthy. We can take them out to play whenever you like, but play is all it would be. There’s too much history between us for any temporary living or working arrangement to get in the way of what we want.”

Now I wondered if he’d snuck onto my laptop and read my work in progress, or if I was dreaming, because I’d never heard Wade talk like that before. But the fictional Cade certainly had.

He would never do something like that.

I knew it. Which made this that much harder to believe.

“And what do you want, Wade? You made me admit it. It’s your turn now. Or is that what you had to consider?”

“I’ve known what I wanted for a while.” His eyes were a rich brown with flashes of gold and green. As mesmerizing as his voice. “I held back because you might not be ready for what that is.”

“I’m ready,” I assured him, hoping I didn’t sound as needy as I felt .

He moved closer, and my thighs widened to make room for his hips. The move sent his other hand skimming higher along my thigh. “You still sure you don’t need romance?”

“We’ve covered me already. Orgasms and comfy shoes.” I released my grip on the stool and snagged my fingers through his belt loops. “Now what do you need?”

I emphasized my words with an impatient tug.

“So fucking cute,” he murmured, his finger tracing the edge of my panties and making me shiver. Thank the gods of Victoria’s Secret I’d decided to wear my good underwear.

“I’d rather be satisfied than cute.” I was apparently brazen now, but I meant what I said. “Give me a hint, Wade, because I don’t want to get our wires crossed. What are we doing here? Harmless flirting? One night of middle-aged madness we never speak about again?”

What do you want?

He pressed his forehead against mine, his grin tender with an edge of wicked. “No filter at all anymore, is that right?”

“At this age, who has the time?”

“I’d like us to,” he answered my rhetorical question. “I learned more about you the other night than I had in decades, but it wasn’t enough. I think we should start there. I want to spend time with you, August. Days. Weeks. More if you’re willing. And not only working on the house or seeing you at the office. I’d like to take my time getting to know all the things you like. Give you the attention you deserve instead of rushing into anything. But like I said, I’m not sure we’re there yet.”

We were. I was. I couldn’t remember being more there , even in my twenties but… “Again, so we’re on the same page…you are talking about having sex with me, right? Because spending time and taking time and giving me attention could all be euphem?—”

He cut me off with a kiss.

If my mind needed a moment to adjust because Wade Hudson was kissing me , my body was already turned up to eleven, stuck in fast forward and on fire.

His mouth was firm and commanding, and the fingers on my chin spread to cup my jaw, holding me where he wanted me and parting my lips for his invasion. His tongue sought mine, drawing me into a dance of barely leashed hunger that made me whimper.

Was this the elusive chemistry I’d always read about? The kind I’d never experienced with my ex, who’d perfected his technical kissing skills for the camera but never lost himself in the moment? The volatile, incendiary kind of connection I never imagined I’d be exploring for the first time in my forties, in broad daylight, with half the neighborhood right across the street?

I was so lost in the moment, that I was only half aware of what I was doing as I grabbed his wrist and urged his hand into my panties, silently begging for more of his touch.

“Damn it, August,” he swore against my mouth, stroking the backs of his knuckles lightly over me. “We can’t do this here.”

“Why not? You’re the boss, the door is closed, and I thought you wanted us to spend time together.”

I tilted my hips forward invitingly. Touch me.

He bit my lower lip hard enough to sting and looked into my eyes, his rough fingertips grazing my clit and slipping through my wet, aching sex.

“ Yes. ”

“August.”

We both groaned at the evidence of my arousal. His broad chest heaved as he fought for the control I didn’t want him to have.

“Just this,” he rasped out, sounding pained. “Just this for now.”

He silenced my denial, angling his head for a deeper kiss while pressing one thick digit deep inside me. Slow enough for me to stop him if I wanted to.

My grip on his wrist tightened, letting him know that stopping was not an option for me .

Things got serious once his finger found what I assumed was my G-spot, since no one else had ever bothered to look for it and I’d never felt anything like that before.

I cried out against his mouth and went wild in his arms, needing to touch him. I let go of his wrist, both hands burrowing beneath his shirt to get at his big, beautiful chest. I let my fingers spear through the warm springs of hair I found there, my nails scraping lightly over his muscular pecs.

I wanted him naked. I wanted him to toss me on his desk and take me until I begged him to stop.

“The first time I take you won’t be on that rickety desk and you won’t want me to stop.” His gritty promise vibrated along my jawline, making me realize I’d said that out loud.

He added a second finger to the first, working them inside me in a rhythm that was robbing me of all coherent thought. “Show me how to get you there, August. Don’t hold back.”

I couldn’t if I wanted to, which was a miracle in itself. It had always taken more foreplay to get my motor running. A lot more. There had been Yelp complaints about how high maintenance my vagina was. But Wade knew exactly what he was doing.

“You’re really good at this,” I informed him in between gasps for air. “In case you were feeling insecure about your performance or anything.”

He buried his face in my neck for a heartbeat. “So cute.”

“Sexy.” I reached for him in retaliation, one hand cupping his erection through his jeans. Or trying to. Holy bananas, he was huge. “Cute gets head pats. Sexy gets some of this.”

“It’s yours.” He swore before kissing me again, fucking me with his fingers, driving me to the edge so swiftly I wanted to scream.

“Don’t stop.”

“Not until you come,” he promised, lifting his mouth and watching his fingers disappear between my legs. “After this, if you want more, anytime you want more, you’ll know exactly who can give it to you.”

All I heard was that he was opening an all you-can-eat satisfaction buffet and he wanted me to be his only customer.

I’d better be his only customer.

“You talk a big game, Hudson,” I panted and rocked against his hand, knowing I was close. Something amazing was right out of reach and I. Just. Needed. To get there.

“It’s not talk if I deliver.”

He curled his fingers, pressing his thumb against my clit in exactly the right way, and then the world started tilting and quaking all around me. His mouth barely covered mine in time to mute my shouts as I rode out my orgasm, coming so hard I saw spots. Or maybe they were stars. I worried I might actually pass out from the intensity of my climax. A blackout orgasm. Was that a thing? I needed to look it up later.

I’d thought they were exaggerating—the people who said the sex was so good it nearly killed them. Who swore they didn’t need a vibrating massager, a few glasses of wine or half a bottle of heated lube to get them where they were going, the way I always had.

The way I used to.

Wade had done this to me with one kiss and one very talented hand in the middle of his place of business. It was the best sex I’d ever had, and we both still had all our clothes on. The thought of what he could accomplish with the rest of his body, more time and a bed was worth any regrets I might have about this later.

He lifted his mouth and pressed a kiss on my temple, murmuring incomprehensibly against my skin as he gently moved my hand away from his erection.

I wanted to reciprocate. I was about to offer when he tensed against me and I heard male voices echoing through the garage .

“Sounds like Dalton’s got company. Might be a customer,” he rasped.

My legs dropped weakly from his hips and he helped me to my feet, supporting me when my knees started to buckle.

“Oops.” My face flushed with embarrassment.

And post-O pride. Don’t lie.

I was feeling a little full of myself.

Who had two thumbs and could finally relate to the lyrics to Afternoon Delight ?

This girl.

“Gus?”

I glanced up and bit the inside of my cheek. He was wound up tight, his jaw clenched, his cheeks flushed and his eyes bright with need. For me . I wanted to drag him home for another round, one that would focus entirely on him. “Yes, Boss Babysitter Motor Daddy?”

The hand on my arm turned caressing. “How would you feel if I told you I wanted this to happen again?”

Did he think I’d argue? “I’d feel like I was about to say the same thing. Give me a few minutes and I’ll be ready to go.”

His smile was tight but genuine. “I’m still serious about taking my time with you. I’ll make you come whenever you ask, but I don’t want us rushing into more until we’re both ready for it.”

“You don’t want to rush…into sex?”

“There are a hell of a lot of ways for me to give you pleasure, August. You asked what I wanted? I’d like to try all of them.”

That sounded too good to be true. “I’m game. As long as you let me return the favor.”

He shook his head slowly. “That’s not what I’m talking about. This isn’t another favor swap. I give and you take for now. That’s the deal.”

The words hit me like a drug, making me sway a little with their potency. The thought of lying back and letting him shower me with his orgasm-inducing magic without worrying about anything else was the stuff fantasies were made of.

But letting him give me pleasure without being able to return it? It flew squarely in the face of my entire sexual history and my own sense of fair play. “Do you not want me touching you?”

“I can only think of one thing I want more,” he said, his voice graveled and deep. “And that’s getting the chance to watch you let go, without needing to give back twice as much as you take. Exploring you without getting distracted. Touching you and seeing what makes you moan. What turns you on.”

“Everything you’ve done so far turns me on,” I told him honestly. “Everything you’re saying works too. Except for the part where I don’t get to explore you right back.”

“You’ve got your Retta rules. Consider this one of mine for now. We get to know each other first, while I give you what you said you wanted instead of romance.”

Orgasms. He was asking to get to know me while giving me orgasms and denying himself.

“Is this a kinky thing? Does it have a time limit? A milestone we have to reach before I can, say, suck your dick?”

I couldn’t believe I’d said that. If I’d had any filter left, the endorphins must have destroyed it.

Wade couldn’t believe it either. He choked out a “Damn, Gus.” Part laughter, part sexual frustration, his eyes full of heat. “Let’s give it a few days and see how it goes.”

He did not answer my kink question. But if he kept a chest full of handcuffs and whips somewhere, I needed to know about it, right? I’d have to do more research, because other than that weird movie with the red room, I had no idea what I was getting into. It might be a deal breaker.

Hah. Wade wants to give you more orgasms like the one you’re still recovering from. Deal breakers in this scenario don’t exist .

Yeah. Who was I trying to kid here? “You know denying me is only going to make me want it more.”

“That’s the idea,” he murmured as he brushed a kiss along my jaw. “Say yes, Gus.”

“A few days,” I said breathlessly. “I guess I can get on board with a few days. I’m in.”

“Good girl.” There was an intriguingly possessive gleam in his eyes. “Now get your sweet ass back to work.”

He did like to play. Good to know.

The crowd had thinned by the time I got back to the icehouse, and a couple of employees had managed to make it in for the evening shift despite the flooding, including a cook who’d introduced himself as Frank. Bernie, after giving me a long look that told me she might have suspicions about what I’d been up to, sent me home with orders to wear better shoes for my next shift.

The look on her face when I said I planned on it?

Priceless.

I liked catching her off guard, but the more I thought about it on the drive home, the less amusing it was. She hadn’t thought I would come back. Hadn’t expected me to step up and take a few shifts for the sake of my pregnant goddaughter. My only regular visitor and the closest I’d get to having a child of my own.

It was sobering, and not a little shameful, to realize that Bernie expected less from me than I expected from myself. Less than she would have from Morgan or our mother. I couldn’t be angry about it, because it wasn’t an unfair assumption. I’d been defined by my absence, and that definition was not flattering. All this time I’d thought the only person affected by isolating myself so completely was me, but obviously, I was wrong.

When I got home, after making Merlin suffer through some loving that he pretended not to appreciate, the first thing I did was take another shower. The hours running around in the heat had put my deodorant to the test. And that episode in Wade’s office was so hot it had decimated it completely.

I put my hair up and got into the shower to scrub my aching muscles clean. When my fingers encountered the residual slickness and sensitivity between my legs, a new flood of arousal hit me so hard, I briefly toyed with the idea of getting myself off to the memory of what happened today. Seductive Wade had been even more difficult to resist than Everyday Wade. No more suggestive words and potentially meaningful eye contact for me to obsess over every time we said hello. There was no doubt about his intentions, or my reaction to them. If he hadn’t insisted on slowing things down there at the end, he might be in this shower with me right now.

Naked, soapy Wade would be a reality.

That’s what I wanted. Settling for my own hand or the pulsating shower head (no matter how sweetly it had treated me in the past) held no interest anymore. Only the real thing would do.

He said he wanted me to take without giving for a few days. Did that mean he would be knocking on my door tomorrow to dole out another orgasm, like a drug dealer? Should I text him for a backyard booty call? How would this even work?

Since my mind was racing with possibilities anyway, I decided to put some of my frustrated sexual energy into my book. I rinsed off quickly and pulled on my slouchy writing clothes, brewed myself a cup of coffee and headed upstairs, soothed by the familiar ritual.

What I noticed when I opened my computer was the opposite of soothing.

Three missed calls from Morgan.

“Crap. ”

She’d said she wouldn’t call me after the cruise started, but once the hurricane hit, she’d changed her tune, calling every other day, if only for a minute or two. She’d wanted updates on my roof, the wall, and everything the insurance check was paying for (It was her way of showing she cared).

But today I hadn’t been here. On instinct I looked at my phone and saw the text message I hadn’t noticed until now. She must have sent it when I was on my lunch break with Wade.

Morgan: Is everything okay? Wondering if you got that last project done. Will call tomorrow at the usual time.

Me: I’ll talk to you then.

Guilt was a lump of lead in my stomach. She’d been reaching out to make sure I was good instead of enjoying every minute of her cruise, and I hadn’t even told her the truth about Wade renting the apartment. Worse, I’d made her friend my accomplice. It didn’t matter that it was his idea. I’d okayed it. I was responsible.

It wasn’t the only thing I was keeping from her now. Jiminy and the race. Trading bookkeeping for home improvement help. Telling Chick I’d sell the house and move to San Diego. Now I was taking shifts at the icehouse and fooling around with Wade.

Was I in the running for worst sister ever?

Only if I didn’t come clean before she found out.

She would eventually. She always did. The last time I talked to her, she’d already known Wade was “couch surfing” at Mom’s because of Lucy and Rick. I should have corrected her then, but I hadn’t. And I knew the reason why.

It was all well and good for Wade to say it was nobody’s business but ours, but that was never how our small, dysfunctional family worked. When you grew up like we did, three girls all piled in one car while crossing the country in order to pile into one tiny apartment after another, secrets and privacy were rare and closely guarded luxuries instead of the norm. We’d all known way too much about each other’s habits and personal lives. That was one of the things Morgan hated when she was a teenager.

I could use that reasoning to justify my full-to-the-brim basket of white lies and omissions, but I also knew how much it would hurt her when things finally came to light. I couldn’t do it. Something had to give.

I would tell her about the rental agreement. It wouldn’t be pleasant, but because the call was from the ship, it would at least be short. I should warn Wade first, I thought, typing out the text before I could change my mind.

Me: I’m going to tell Morgan about you renting the apartment tomorrow. Fasten your seatbelt.

Wade called me less than a minute later.

“You weren’t gone that long,” he said when I put him on speaker. “What happened? Did you count your tips and realize you don’t need me anymore, so it’s okay to throw me under the bus?”

The sound of his deep voice brought this afternoon back in a rush and I couldn’t keep the smile off my face, despite my dilemma. “The tips were nice, but no. I’m not throwing you under the bus and I still need you. For rent,” I tacked on at the end, though we both knew that hadn’t been what I was talking about. “I don’t want us to keep this a secret from her anymore. It feels unnecessarily duplicitous.”

“Good word.”

“It’s a mouthful. But treacherous sounded too extreme in my head.”

After a pause, he said, “Are you planning to tell her everything ? ”

“Are you high?” I laughed before he could answer. “I’m only telling her about the apartment for now. I’ll mention the race when she gets home, though Lucy will probably get to her first. But as long as I do it before she confronts me about it, it will take the wind out of her sails and I should be okay.”

“I see you’re putting a lot of thought into this.”

“Bernie used to do the same thing with you. I seem to remember hearing about a B minus on her report card, followed by a tattoo reveal, all leading up to her pregnancy confession.”

“Thanks for the flashback.” I could hear the grimace in his voice. “That was one hell of a week. I didn’t realize she’d been spreading out the bad news with my feelings in mind.”

“We aren’t sadists, Wade. We’re trouble magnets. We know we can’t dump everything on you at once, because you need time to process. Like Morgan.” I hesitated. “About that other thing… I thought maybe we could keep that to ourselves for a while?”

Wade wanting me was mine. Something I didn’t want to share in case it disappeared.

“I was just sitting in my office and thinking about that other thing,” he drawled.

I tugged the phone closer. “Is that what you were doing?”

“I was wondering how long I had to wait before we could do it again.”

I wondered if he’d ever had phone sex before. With a voice like his, I bet he’d be exceptionally good at it.

“On the subject of said thing, we might have to renegotiate the lease agreement,” I teased. “Orgasms of today’s caliber surely balance out the extra cash you’ve been paying me for the pool.”

That was me. Just going full Mrs. Roper like a wild thing.

“Don’t start, August. We’re keeping that separate, remember? The rental and the job have nothing to do with what’s going on between us. If you want to renegotiate the lease, we can talk about it next month. If you want another orgasm, you can talk about that right now.”

Oomph. That unapologetic command in his voice was doing it for me. And I did really want to talk about having another orgasm. “Whatever you say, boss.”

He breathed out a groan and I heard a door close. “Jesus. What made you decide to tell your sister about the apartment anyway?”

“I missed her call today because Bernie kidnapped me and then you locked me in your office and had your wickedly one-sided way with me,” I said with a grin. “You know there ain’t no guilt party like a Retta guilt party.”

’ Cause a Retta guilt party don’t stop.

His gravelly grunt of amusement hit me right between the thighs. He sounded like Henry Cavill’s Geralt when he did that. I’d absolutely toss a coin for his Witcher . “Forget the guilt, Gus. Did you like what happened between us?”

Did I like it? “I loved it. I’ll love it even more when you let me reciprocate.”

“You promised me a few days.”

“I know.” I sighed. “And I don’t mean to sound ungrateful, but I hope those days pass quickly, because I’m a very tactile person and I have a lot of ideas about where I’d like to put my hands.”

He made a rough sound into the phone. “What are you going to do with your hands after we hang up?”

“That’s a leading question, but my answer is going to disappoint you. First, I’ll write out what I’m planning to say to Morgan tomorrow. I’ll definitely mention the fact that I let you have your special old-man bed and full use of the pool to really make myself look good.” When he laughed, I crossed my legs and closed my eyes. “Then, well there’s this big, gloriously sexy beast that lives in the apartment behind my house.”

“Glorious beast? You don’t say. ”

“Yes. And talk about talented hands.” I hummed into the phone playfully. “He is very handy to have around. He’s always outside doing chores with his shirt off, flexing his muscles and tempting me to touch them.”

“I suspect he was doing that on purpose.”

I lowered my voice. “Sometimes, when I take a break from writing, I like to watch him from my office window and daydream about joining him out there and getting my hands and tongue on every bit of bare skin I can reach.”

I can hear his breathing on the other end of the line. “You’re making things very hard for me over here, August.”

“There’s a cure for that over here. I’m just saying.”

“Well, don’t say any more until I get home.”

“What happens then?”

I heard a car door slam and then the sound of an engine starting.

“Guess you’ll have to look out your office window and find out.”