Chapter 12 - Kinsley
KINSLEY
The bass still pounds in my ears even though the car is nearly silent as Zander drives through downtown on the way back to my apartment. My sequined dress is short and tight, my makeup smoky and bold. I look hot, and I can’t wait for Royce to see me.
He’d been quiet all day and I need that to change.
I’d played my part at the club, dancing and flirting and having a good time, but I’d been drinking vodka soda—without the vodka—all night.
I didn’t need it and I didn’t want it knowing I had somewhere to be tonight.
Royce would know that too if he answered his phone.
KINSLEY: I’m almost home
ROYCE: I’m in a shitty mood
KINSLEY: I have just the thing to make it better
I frown and tuck my phone back into my purse as Zander pulls in front of my building. I’d ignored the way he was staring at me in the rearview mirror the last half of the trip like he wanted to ask if I was all right.
I don’t want to just be all right.
I want to be great.
I want the happiness that Nessa is creating in Blackstone Falls. The sheriff had invited the town busybody over to meet Nessa and the baby, and I’d had to work magic over video chat to find her an appropriate outfit.
As a result, I’d sent her a cart full of cute options so no one would be subjected to her spandex and sport logo T-shirt collection.
“Have a nice time tonight, Miss Dane?” Zander asks, startling me from my thoughts as he offers me his hand. I take it, thankful as I step onto the sidewalk without falling or flashing anyone in the process.
“It was fine but I’m happy to be home,” I tell him with a smile as he opens the door for me, and I step inside. “Night, Zander.”
He nods and watches as I cross the lobby and wave to the guy behind the desk before stepping onto the elevator.
My body sags against the wall as the numbers climb, the elevator dropping a little as it stops on my floor.
Heels sinking into the carpet, I walk down the hall, not bothering to check my hair or makeup as I knock on Royce’s door.
It takes him a minute, like he’s debating whether or not to let me in, and dread settles into my belly.
I don’t like it.
When he answers, he’s annoyed, but I smile big and he doesn’t fight me when I ease past him into his apartment.
“I was hoping you’d be excited to see me,” I say, forcing myself to keep my smile in place.
“I am but,”—he huffs loudly—“it’s just ridiculous is all.”
“What is ridiculous?” I ask carefully, already not liking where this is going.
“You and me and the thing between us. I mean, seriously—what are we even doing?”
“Where is this coming from, Royce?”
“See?” He points at me. “You’re not even calling me Roy right now.”
“Because you’re acting a little crazy, and I want to know why.”
“I just spent hours, Kinsley, hours combing through your life trying to figure out who is out to get you because as far as I can tell your ex-hookup couldn’t care less from the beach in Florida he’s currently on.
Do you know how many people live in this building plus staff and maintenance?
And I’ve been looking into all of them plus the creepy guy at the coffee shop and everywhere I can think of where you might have attracted someone’s attention.
” That gives me pause, but I don’t have time to think about it because he adds, “And, not to mention the fact that I had to go through picture after picture of you on some hot guy’s arm and yeah—I’m a little pissed about it. ”
“You’re jealous?” I ask, honestly surprised.
“Jealous? Sure. Try so damn far out of my league I can’t even understand why you’re standing in my apartment.”
I don’t like that he’s putting himself down, and I like even less that he’s trying to take me down with him.
“So what? I’ve been on a lot of dates in my life. Some were real, but most set up as mutually beneficial for both of us.”
“That doesn’t make it better.”
“That’s the business,” I snap, because he knows this. I’ve never hidden any of it.
“Yeah, it’s business but look at you,” he says, motioning toward my dress that I’d felt so sexy in walking up to his apartment.
That I’d wanted him to see me in.
I fight back the blush that tries to crawl up my neck and the embarrassment that accompanies it.
“What about me?” I ask, my voice shockingly even.
“You didn’t have to do this with me. I would have helped you.”
This.
Being together.
“What. About. Me?” The words are clipped as he hits me where it hurts the most—a place so few people get to see.
My humanity.
“You look like you stepped out of a magazine, and I’m some geek attached to a computer. So yeah—I’m jealous and pissed that we’re doing this because you’ve been on the cover of a magazine and—”
“I’ve never done anything to make you feel less than who you are. I’ve never gone out of my way to make you feel like you were unworthy of me.” I take a step forward but I don’t get close enough to touch him. “But you,”—I make a point of looking him up and down—“had no problem doing that tonight.”
“Kinsley,” he sighs but I push past him, not stopping as I open the door, letting it slam behind me, tears already threatening to fall as I burst into my apartment and turn the lock.
I’d broken my rule.
And I’d paid for it.
Again.