Chapter 16
ROYCE
I’d never wished for more time before—never wanted to prolong something for the sake of holding on to that moment a little longer.
But that’s exactly what’s happening with Kinsley.
Things shifted between us after the argument, making things both better and worse. I’d never really fought with anyone—not anyone that truly mattered.
My uncle and I had hashed things out over the years but it was different. We had an understanding, and his parenting style, more often than not, was to push me out of the nest to see if I could fly.
Sometimes I did.
Sometimes I didn’t.
The latter earned me a hearty pat on the back and a you’ll get ’em next time, kid.
It’d been what I needed—he’d been what I needed and I didn’t take that for granted. So why had I done it to Kinsley?
I’d had nothing but time to think about it since she went to Blackstone Falls to see Nessa before going straight to her parents’ for Christmas. We hadn’t gotten a tree.
Or decorated.
Because you’re not a couple.
That little voice had been unhelpful, whispering to me at all hours of the day and night, and texting Kinsley hadn’t helped either.
She was fun and flirty and otherwise totally fine.
But the openness was gone.
She wasn’t being fake, but she’d thrown up a wall no amount of gym time could help me scale. And I had gone to the gym—every day that she was gone.
I’d even done a workout with my uncle before we ate the Christmas ham—not that I could walk or lift my arms after that one, but still.
I managed to take a selfie of me collapsed on the floor and sent it to her. She’d sent one back of her blowing a kiss.
It wasn’t enough.
She made me needy and I didn’t like it.
I didn’t like it at all.
KINSLEY
I sneak away to my childhood bedroom the night after Christmas. I’ll be leaving in the morning to go back to Nashville, but I needed this time away.
I could feel Royce’s frustration with me, but I’m just so damn tired.
He’d broken a little piece of me.
So many men want a piece of my fame—the spotlight I exist in—but Royce sees it as a negative. He’d made me feel fake and shallow, and despite believing he’s sorry, I can’t seem to let it go.
It pisses me off that I miss him—that Royce Oakden will be the man that I’ll never be able to shake.
That I’ll see him in a year’s time with a pretty wife who loves that he plays video games and likes spending quiet evenings at home.
And remember the happiness I felt was fleeting.
A memory.
And never meant to last.
A message pops up and I click on it, rolling my eyes immediately when I read the text.
ZANDER: You should have taken me with you to Blackstone Falls
KINSLEY: Merry Christmas to you too
ZANDER: I can’t keep you safe if you run off all the time
ZANDER: You’re being reckless
KINSLEY: I am not—I was completely safe. Nessa’s boyfriend is the SHERIFF
ZANDER: And you had two more videos go viral in the last week
I want to be annoyed but he’s right—I should have at least told him where I was going.
KINSLEY: I’m sorry—I’ll make sure I let you know next time.
ZANDER: Merry Christmas, Miss Dane
I don’t respond, instead letting my phone drop to the mattress and my eyelids flutter closed, my mood tanking with each passing second.
Because things had been fine.
I hadn’t gotten a single text or email since being with my parents. A few had come through including a call I sent straight to voicemail while I was in Blackstone Falls, but I hadn’t bothered sending them to Royce.
There was nothing new in them, just vague comments and an old picture from before Nessa left Nashville. Maybe Scott was bored, or maybe he’d finally grown up and moved on.
I’d take either at this point.
My phone vibrates, one eye popping open then the other when Royce’s name appears on the screen.
Thank God.
ROYCE: I realized I hate the snow. Chicago winters can suck it.
KINSLEY: That’s a rather amusing visual
ROYCE: Is it? Because now all I can think about is you
KINSLEY: Me doing what?
I settle back on the bed and grin as three little dots appear and then disappear. I hate that I miss him.
And more than that, I hate the easiness that we had. But maybe…
ROYCE: You sucking my cock
KINSLEY: I like how loud you get
ROYCE: I can’t help it
KINSLEY: You know what I think would be fun?
ROYCE: Tell me
KINSLEY: If you were playing one of your games
KINSLEY: While your cock was in my mouth
KINSLEY: And you had to keep quiet while also trying not to die
ROYCE: Yes
ROYCE: A thousand times yes
KINSLEY: I’ll get home tomorrow
ROYCE: I’ll be at your door the second you do
KINSLEY: Is that right?
ROYCE: You have no idea