11. Kelsey
Chapter eleven
Kelsey
Arlene was surprisingly handy with a wrench for a woman her age.
“That damn sink.” Arlene got up from the floor. “It’s been giving me trouble forever now. Maybe I’ll have to hire a proper plumber, eventually. But it should be fine for now. Turn on the water.”
I turned on the water faucet of my bathroom sink. Arlene crouched and watched the drainpipe with furrowed brows.
“No more dripping,” she announced with a wide smile.
“I had no idea you could do that,” I said.
Arlene smiled as she wiped her hands. “For a while, I was a dirt-poor single mother of three. You have to learn to become self-sufficient fast if three little ones depend on you and no man is around to do the dirty work and the heavy lifting.”
“Three kids?” I asked. “I can’t imagine. You must’ve been one busy lady.”
“Sure was,” Arlene said, “But I wouldn’t trade in either one of them.”
I could see where she was coming from, but the idea of being a single mom with one kid was scary, let alone three. I’d wanted children with Ryan—had wanted them for years—but Ryan kept delaying, thank God. All of this was hard enough on my own. I couldn’t imagine dragging a child into that mess. Back then, it hurt me, and it still hurt a little that he didn’t love me enough to make me the mother of his children, but at least I wasn’t facing a custody battle on top of a divorce.
Arlene packed away her tools in a red metal box.
“Do you want something to drink?” I asked her.
“That would be lovely, dear.”
“I have water, orange juice, and beer.”
Arlene laughed. “You know what? Get me a beer.”
We sat down with two bottles of Rainier. My study guides and my notes from my sessions with Quentin were strewn across the table.
Arlene looked at them. “How are things going? With your studying?”
“Not bad, actually,” I said. “At first, it was hard getting back into it. I think I haven’t opened a book since Twilight came out. But now that I’m back into the groove, it’s better. I don’t feel completely stupid anymore.”
“That’s wonderful, sweetheart.” Arlene took a sip of beer. “And how are things going with Quentin?”
“He’s been pretty helpful,” I admitted. “We had a bit of a rough start, but now, I’m actually starting to enjoy our sessions. He’s really good at explaining things in a way I can understand them.”
“So you are enjoying your time with him?”
“Yes, sure.”
Arlene nodded slowly. “Maybe you should see him more often, then.”
“Oh, I could use the extra help for sure, but I don’t want to ask any more of him. He’s already doing me a big favor. He has his own life, I’m sure.”
“No, I don’t mean more studying. I meant going out together. On dates. ”
My mouth fell open. Oh no . Leah had been right. Arlene really was trying to play matchmaker.
My face flushed. “Um, Arlene, I know you mean well, but it’s not like that between me and Quentin. Definitely not.”
Arlene stared at her beer as if the key to my messed-up love life was hiding in the bottle. “Quentin has been… I think he has been very lonely.”
Was Quentin lonely? Maybe he was. He’d never mentioned any friends or girlfriends during our meet-ups.
“Maybe, Arlene. But still… I can’t date him.”
Arlene exhaled a long sigh and took a sip of beer. “He’s a good man, you know. You might be a little too young to realize that, but there is more to love than a handsome face.”
“Oh, you think I don’t want to because of his scars?” I shook my head decidedly. “That’s not it, Arlene.”
“It’s not?” She looked surprised.
“What, do you think I’m some superficial airhead who only cares about looks? I don’t mind his scars. I don’t even really see them anymore. Actually, I think he’s quite attractive.”
Arlene raised her eyebrows. “You do?”
I was surprised by myself for daring to speak those words out loud.
“I do! Have you seen his eyes?”
Arlene giggled. “He does have nice eyes. Kind.”
She was right. There was a lot of kindness in Quentin’s eyes—and intelligence, strength, and something else. That something made my face flush when my thoughts lingered on it for too long.
Oh god, why was I thinking that ? I had enough on my plate already. I had my job, my second job, the studying, and the divorce. The last thing I needed was to be swooning over my tutor .
“I’m just not in a good spot to date anyone right now, Arlene. I need to get my own life in order before I drag someone else into it. Everything is still so messy. I can’t even afford a lawyer for my divorce.”
Arlene perked up. “You need a lawyer?” she asked, her tone confusingly excited.
“Technically not, I guess. But I know how my ex is. This is not going to be easy, so I think I need a lawyer, yes.”
“Why didn’t you say so right away? My son is a lawyer.”
My eyes went wide. “Really? Do you think he—”
Arlene didn’t even let me finish. “I’ll call him as soon as he gets home and set up an appointment for you. Don’t worry, sweetheart. Everything will sort itself out.”
Once again, Arlene had saved my ass. I took the bus to Stenton two days later, to meet Casey Miller at his law firm.
Arlene’s son must have been doing well for himself, because his office looked very fancy—shiny marble floor, sleek designer furniture, and a four-foot modern-style bronze sculpture next to the door that reminded me of a giraffe throwing up.
Casey Miller radiated the same strength and energy as his mother, and they shared the blond hair, but otherwise, he was as different from Arlene as a man could be. Arlene was warm, friendly, and easygoing. Her son had a stern face and eyes that pierced right through me, making me feel like a nuisance. He wasn’t impolite, just distant and severe, and I reckoned that was a good thing. Nobody would want to be on the bad side of this man, and that was exactly the type of lawyer I needed to defend myself against whatever Ryan had in store .
He talked me through the entire process, and I nodded and made a smart face, pretending I understood what he was telling me. In the end, he handed me a whole stack of papers I needed to fill out when I got home.
As much as I appreciated that he took my case free of charge—I was sure there was no way in hell I could afford a lawyer like him otherwise—I was relieved when I could finally leave his office. He shook my hand on my way out, gripping a little too firmly.
“Thanks again for helping me,” I said with a nervous smile.
“Don’t worry. You’ll be a made woman after this is over. I will destroy your ex-husband.”
“I have no doubt about this,” I said, my voice sounding higher and thinner than usual.
I pulled my hand out of his grip, and just as I was about to go, something weird happened.
Something almost looking like a smile appeared on his face. “Tell my mother I said hi,” he said, surprisingly gentle.
I quickly nodded. “Of course! I will!” I guess even cutthroat lawyers can be mama’s boys.
I took the bus back to Brightwater, the divorce papers in a plastic sheath on my lap. I didn’t dare to look at them, no idea why. Even when I got home, I quickly shoved them under a pile of my study books.
Divorce had become such an ordinary thing nowadays. Plenty of people got divorced, some of them multiple times, but I still felt I was doing something wrong, something bad. A little voice in my head, a voice that sounded a lot like Ryan but also a little like my mother, told me I was being ungrateful. How could I divorce a guy who had practically pulled me out of the gutter and had given me a nice, cushy stay-at-home-wife life ?
I reminded myself how unhappy I’d been with Ryan. I had paid my dues by cooking, washing, cleaning for him, by being at his every beck and call for over a decade, never complaining about his snarky comments or his volatile outbursts. I earned the right to walk away, didn’t I?
It all made sense when I told it to myself, but for some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to touch those papers yet. Everything felt so final. There would be no way back once those were signed. I would be entirely on my own.
The alarm on my phone pulled me out of my thoughts and reminded me I had a shift at Liberty Diner in an hour, so I took a quick shower and put on my uniform and the brand new white sneakers I’d bought with my first paycheck. I loved those shoes. They looked a bit clunky, but wearing them was like walking on clouds, and when I had to be on my feet for eight hours, comfort was way more important than style.
On my way out, I ran into Arlene, who was pushing an ancient lawnmower over the grass patches surrounding the parking lot.
When she saw me, she turned the machine off and waved.
“Casey says hi,” I said. “Thanks again for helping me out. I can’t tell you how grateful I am.”
Arlene shrugged. “I paid a pretty hefty sum for his education. He might as well make himself useful.”
“I have no idea about this stuff, but he sure sounded like he knew what he was talking about.”
“I think he does. He graduated at the top of his class from Berkeley. That must mean something,” Arlene said, wiping sweat off her forehead. “Kelsey, dear, do you have any plans for Saturday?”
I thought for a moment. “I have a shift at the diner, but I’m free for the afternoon. Why? Do you need help with anything? Mowing the grass?” I was ready to do about anything for that woman after all she’d done for me, and a woman her age probably shouldn’t do physical labor in the baking-hot sun.
“I’m having a party,” she said with the brightest smile. “For the Sunset residents. Just a little gathering at my apartment, nothing fancy. Will you come?”
“Of course,” I said. That actually sounded like fun. Leah and Cara would probably be there, and I always enjoyed spending time with those two gals. “Count me in. Should I bring anything?”
“No, just yourself and some good vibes.”
I laughed. “I think I have a few left over.”
“Great. I won’t keep you any longer, then. See you Saturday, sweetheart.”