27. Kelsey
Chapter twenty-seven
Kelsey
The following week wasn’t easy. I tried to settle back into my life with Ryan, and outwardly, I did a pretty good job. Ryan was trying hard too. Of course, that’s what he’d promised me, but I was still surprised. We hadn’t gotten into any major fights since I left Brightwater, and he even brought me flowers twice after coming home from work. I was wearing his necklace although I still didn’t like the look much.
Ryan was on his morning run, and I was loading the dishwasher with our leftover plates and bowls from that morning’s breakfast when my phone made a chirping sound. I put down a dirty plate and checked the screen. It was a calendar reminder. My GED test was scheduled for tomorrow, a mere twenty-four hours away. I’d almost forgotten. My heart started beating faster until I reminded myself that I wouldn’t take the test. I no longer needed that GED, anyway.
It was a shame I’d wasted all that time preparing for it. All that time I’d spent with Quentin. Memories of our evenings flooded back into my mind. How much I’d disliked him at first. I thought he was some stuck-up know-it-all, and he didn’t like me much either. But we had warmed toward each other. Then things had turned hot.
My face flushed at the thought just as Ryan came through the door. He was sweaty from running, and he looked incredibly fit and athletic in his tight-fitting runner’s clothes. Yet all I could think of was Quentin, who somehow had lit a fire in me with his gentleness and kindness that even tall, handsome, athletic Ryan couldn’t match.
Ryan un his headphones from his ears and came over to give me a kiss. “Thanks for doing the dishes,” he said. That was a thing he did now. He thanked me for doing stuff around the house. Something about it felt off, though. I suspected he still thought that making him food, doing the dishes, and washing his clothes were things I should just do for him without complaining, but he praised me anyway, to humor me. Like a parent praises a child for drawing a stick figure. I thought getting acknowledgment for the things I did for him would make me feel better, but somehow, this was even worse.
“By the way, I have some friends coming over later. We’re watching the game. You need to prepare some food.”
“What game? What are we watching?”
“Not you, just me and the guys,” Ryan said with a laugh. “It’s football. You don’t care about football. You just need to make the food. But not just snacks, we need real food. Meat, okay?”
“I’ll need to go to the store if you want meat.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll go to the store. I’ll go right now. You can start with the salads or something while I’m gone. It will be around fifteen people, so make sure you make enough.”
“ Fifteen people ?” I asked in disbelief. “Do you have any idea how much effort it takes to make food for fifteen people?”
“Come on, don’t be so lazy. It’ll be fine.” He kissed me on the forehead and left me standing in the kitchen .
I took a deep breath and swallowed the anger that had welled up within me. No point in arguing—it was a done deal. His friends were coming over, so I needed to get the food ready.
Ryan took his sweet time at the store. I labored in the kitchen, throwing together a salad with what we still had left in the fridge, and prepared some desserts with the contents of the pantry. When Ryan returned with a shopping bag full of prime rib steak, I was in the process of making a cheese platter.
“It was hell at the store,” Ryan said. “Everyone and their grandma are doing last-minute shopping before the match, I guess. I’m totally knackered. I’m going to take a nap.”
I looked at him. “You’re not going to help?”
“Babe, I can’t enjoy the game if I’m this tired. I really need a nap right now. I’ll help you afterward, okay?”
I had no other choice but to mumble some words of approval.
Of course, Ryan did not help. He slept soundly in the upstairs bedroom as I toiled in the kitchen, sweating behind the stove, cooking steak for a dozen people.
Ryan reemerged in the afternoon, inspected the steaks I’d piled on several serving platters, and nodded in approval.
“See,” he said with a smug grin, “I knew you could do it. You can do a lot of things if you stop making excuses and actually put some effort in.”
“Thank you,” I said although I was pretty sure that wasn’t a compliment—not a real one, anyway.
Soon after, the guests started showing up. Most of them I knew. Colleagues from work or old friends from high school and college. Most ignored my presence completely. Some greeted me with a nod or a smile. Ryan’s best friend Caleb even took the time to greet me properly and told me he was glad we were trying to make our marriage work. I forced myself to smile and nod along.
The doorbell rang again, and Ryan went to open it.
It was Sarah.
I froze on the spot.
Caleb noticed my change in demeanor. He looked from me to Sarah and back to me. For a brief moment, he seemed to want to say something, but then he swiftly fled into the living room, leaving me in the company of Ryan and Sarah.
Sarah and I exchanged an awkward glance before she followed Caleb into the living room.
I could hear the men holler. “Hey guys, look, it’s Sarah.” “Sarah, sit down here.” “Awesome you could make it.”
The bitter taste of jealousy arose in my mouth. From the sound of it, my husband wasn’t the only one who liked that girl a lot better than me.
Ryan was about to head for the living room, too, but I grabbed his arm.
“Why have you invited her?”
Ryan shook off my hand. “Why not?”
“ Why not ? Because you had sex with her.”
He shrugged. “We were on a break. Don’t make a big deal out of this.”
“It is a big deal!”
“Keep your voice down. We don’t need to air our dirty laundry in front of my friends,” he hissed. “Sarah is just a friend, okay? I told you it was over. There is nothing going on between us. She’s just a friend who likes football, so I invited her. Now, let it go. I’m not in the mood for your drama today.”
He disappeared into the living room. My face heated with anger. This was so… humiliating. Inviting that girl, showing her off to all his buddies, allowing her into that inner circle while I was relegated to the kitchen—it hurt.
I went back into the kitchen to calm myself, but it wasn’t working very well. That was definitely something we had to sort out in couple’s therapy. Hopefully, we would start sessions soon. Surely, a professional therapist could explain to Ryan why this was not okay.
Ryan’s voice yelling for me from the living room stopped my train of thought. “Kel, can you bring us something to drink? Beer is in the fridge.”
I took a deep breath to steady myself, grabbed two six-packs from the fridge, and brought them into the living room.
The game was already on. Most of the guys were glued to the screen and hardly noticed when I handed them a bottle. I skipped Sarah deliberately. Nobody but the two of us seemed to take note, but it still gave me some satisfaction. I might have to accept her in my home, but I would not play waitress for her. So I moved right on, from Travis, who worked in accounting, to Ryan’s high school buddy, Caleb.
“Thank you, Kelsey,” he said. “Can you put it down on the table here? Let me make room real quick.”
Caleb shoved aside some magazines on the side table to make room for his beer bottle. “Oh, what is this?”
Under the magazines were my GED studying guides. Ryan didn’t want them on his office bookshelves. He’d told me to throw them out, but I couldn’t make myself do it.
“Are you trying to get your high school diploma, Kelsey?”
Ryan caught the last sentence. “Yeah, that’s a silly idea she had,” he said, loud enough for everyone to hear. Everyone was looking at me, including Sarah.
“Can you imagine? She really thought she could go to college or something.” Ryan laughed like it was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard. And all his friends laughed with him. They laughed at the thought that dumb little trailer trash Kelsey could ever be anything more than Ryan’s bang maid.
I expected to be embarrassed, to turn bright red and maybe even well up with tears of shame. But nothing happened. No, that wasn’t right. Something happened.
I felt calm, like the e in my mind had suddenly stopped whirling my thoughts around, and everything was clear.
I laughed with them, handed out the last bottles of beer, then I picked up the studying guides from the side table and left the room. Once I was out of sight, I pulled out my phone. I opened the Yellowjacket bus app and skimmed the timetables.
It would be a close race, but if I left right that moment, I could still make it in time.
I went straight upstairs, dropped the books on the bed, and pulled my backpack out of the cupboard. I grabbed a few basic things: clothes, my toothbrush, my laptop—even less than I’d taken the last time.
Then I headed over to Ryan’s office and turned on his computer. Printing out the papers didn’t take long, and the guys downstairs were yelling and cheering at the TV, so nobody noticed what I was up to. I grabbed a pen to sign my name on the last page of the stack I’d just printed, shouldered my backpack, and headed back downstairs.
Sarah noticed me first when I entered the living room, and she tapped Ryan’s shoulder to get his attention.
Ryan furrowed his brows when he saw me, but before he could even open his mouth, I had crossed the living room.
He looked at me, annoyed. “Kelsey, we’re watching the game. What do you want?”
I smiled. It was an honest smile. I hadn’t felt this happy in a long time. “Just wanted to hand you these. ”
In front of all his friends—and his new girlfriend—I dropped the divorce papers in his lap.
Ryan picked them up, read the first words, and went pale. I wasn’t sure if it was from anger or fear.
“Kelsey,” he hissed through his teeth. “I’m not in the mood for a show. Can we talk about this later?”
“No need to talk about anything,” I said, making sure I was louder than the TV so every last person in the room could hear me loud and clear. “I’m divorcing you, Ryan. I have already signed the papers. Don’t try to come after me this time, or I will get a restraining order. If you have any questions, call my lawyer.”
The room was dead silent. Everyone seemed pretty embarrassed at witnessing this scene, which was exactly what I’d hoped for. Everyone except me. I felt like a total badass.
They all stared as I walked past them on my way out, head up high, shoulders straight. Before I reached the door, I suddenly had a sudden intuition. I turned around.
“Sarah,” I called out.
The girl looked up at me, almost frightened.
I smiled at her. “Don’t trust this man. Don’t repeat my mistakes. He might appear charming now, but he will tear you apart and grind you down until you can’t recognize yourself anymore. Run away while you still can.”
I didn’t wait for a response. I already knew it was probably hopeless, warning Sarah. Who would believe hot mess Kelsey over Mr. Jackpot Ryan? But at least I’d tried to warn her, and I would sleep better at night because of it.