Chapter Three #2
Until he opens his mouth.
I hadn’t planned on going to the Halloween party, but now that he’s brought it up, I’m not sure I can tell him no.
“I was thinking we could go as an ogre and a princess,” I offer sheepishly.
“You want me to dress as an ogre?” he scoffs. “I’m a fucking ten, babe. Come on. You can do better than that.”
He looks at me like I’m an idiot.
His hands come up fast, gripping my cheeks, fingers digging in hard. “I want you in a sexy bunny costume. I’ll be your pimp.”
Julian and I started dating at the beginning of the semester. He likes to show me off at parties, parading me from group to group.
I don’t want to wear a bunny costume, especially since Leo will be there.
“I don’t know, Julian. I don’t feel comfortable wearing something like that.”
“Why not? You’re one of the hottest girls on campus.”
His hands slide to my arms, thumbs pressing into my skin.
“You’re hurting me.”
He lets go and slams both fists into the wall, one on each side of my head. “You’re an ungrateful bitch. I’m the captain of the football team. Girls beg for this, and you’re still acting like you get to say no?”
He strikes me across the face. A sharp crack rings out, and my head snaps to the side. Hair falls across my eyes, masking the sting in my cheek and the urge to disappear with it.
“I’m sorry. I just—”
“What the hell’s been up with you lately? I had to practically force you to have sex with me, and now you—”
“You what?” Leo snaps.
Julian is ripped away from me and slammed into the brick. Leo’s fist twists in his jersey.
“Leo!” I gasp, hands flying to my mouth.
“What the fuck did you just say to my sister?”
“Get your dick-sucking lips out of my face, Lockhart.”
Leo’s gaze snaps to the red, swollen imprint blooming across my cheek. “You fucking asshole!” His fist collides with Julian’s face, blood splattering as each blow lands harder than the last.
“Leo, stop!” I rush forward, tugging him back. “Please. Stop.”
Julian’s nose, lips, and eyebrows are bleeding. Leo doesn’t have a scratch.
Julian pulls back, ready to swing again—
The sound of a high-pitched whistle slices through the air.
“Boys!” Coach Hampton shouts, storming across the courtyard. “Lockhart and Vale, my office. Now!”
Leo’s fist drips with blood as his eyes flick to me. “We’ll talk after class.”
“This isn’t over!” Julian yells over his shoulder, trailing after Coach Hampton.
“How bad is it?” I ask Leo as we walk home from campus.
“He threatened to kick me off the team. I quit instead.”
“You quit?”
“Why are you surprised? Did you expect me to stay on the football team with that asshole?”
“You worked so hard to make the team. You—”
“That doesn’t matter anymore.”
Leo spent years preparing for college football. On practice nights, he came home late. On game nights, I sat in the bleachers until the lights shut off.
“What about Julian?”
His fists are shoved into his pockets, corded veins tracing the tension in his forearms. “I don’t know. I walked out before I could find out.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Are you seriously apologizing right now?”
The coldness in his stare stops me in my tracks.
“Lia,” he says, voice cracking slightly, “why didn’t you tell me?”
I stare at the pavement, counting my breaths, waiting for the tightness to ease.
Leo stops walking and places his hands gently on my shoulders. “When did it happen?”
I swallow the bile rising in my throat. “Two weeks ago. I didn’t say anything because it was—I mean, it—”
“He forced you?”
“No.”
“Explain what he meant by that. I heard what he said, and I’m five seconds away from finishing what I started earlier.”
“I said yes at first,” I whisper. “But then he got too aggressive, and I panicked. I told him to stop, but he kept pushing. Said I was being a prude. That it was wrong to change my mind. That there were no takebacks.”
My throat closes. “I didn’t want to, but I was scared of what Julian would do if I fought back.”
Julian said more than a few cruel words.
He laughed when I tried to explain myself. Twisted my no until it sounded like hesitation, like I was the one in the wrong.
My first time wasn’t the beautiful moment the movies promised. It was sharp edges and a burning weight that left me feeling hollowed out. When he pulled away, I retreated into myself, curling into a tight ball at the end of the mattress.
He didn’t say anything after. He just got dressed and left to hang out with his friends.
“I’m going to say this clearly.” He meets my eyes. “That was rape.”
“I said yes.”
“Consent doesn’t disappear because you said yes once.”
“Julian is my first. I don’t know how this works.”
I was too shy to talk to boys in high school. After Leo joined our college football team, Julian sought me out, and I decided to give dating a chance.
Julian was charming.
Attentive, even.
He played the part.
His expression softens. “Joaquin hurts you enough. You don’t need some piece of shit football player doing it too.”
I nod, unable to speak.
“You deserve better, Lia. Don’t talk to him anymore.”
I was brave once. Now, my throat locks up whenever I try to speak my mind.
Joaquin chipped away at me long before Julian ever touched me.
“Julian might do worse if I leave him.”
“He won’t. I don’t care what he thinks he can do. He won’t touch you again.”
“I thought he loved me,” I confess.
Before the threats, there were flowers and cheek kisses.
Leo pulls me into a hug. “That kind of behavior isn’t love.”
He releases me. With the worst of it behind us, another thought surfaces. Julian’s words from earlier. The way he sneered them at Leo.
“What did Julian mean?” I ask softly. “What he said about you.”
Leo stiffens.
“That’s not the first time I’ve heard it,” I add.
He’s silent.
One beat.
Two.
Three.
Four.
“Leo. You can tell me.”
He looks up at the sky and exhales slowly.
“Julian caught me and Evan Davis in the locker room a while back. He ran his mouth to the rest of the team, and they bullied the hell out of Evan. He hasn’t talked to me since.
He’s too scared to come out. I get it. I was, too.
Julian tried pulling the same crap on me, but he knows I won’t take his shit. ”
“I saw you with Erika last week—”
“I don’t overthink labels, Lia. If the connection’s there, it’s there.”
“Oh.”
Why didn’t he tell me?
“Don’t look at me like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like I’ve been hiding some giant secret from you.”
“You did!”
“So did you,” he fires back. “And yours is worse.”
“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.”
“You’re not fine.” He looks away, his jaw setting. “But you will be. We both will be. One day.”
“Just—don’t do that again. Don’t keep things from me.”
He hesitates, then nods. “No more secrets.”