Chapter Four #2
Ever since Mom died, the nausea has become a near-daily visitor.
Some days it creeps in quietly, while other days it knocks me flat.
I don’t know if it’s chronic stress or grief, but it’s getting harder to ignore.
I consider asking Leo about it, but I can’t bring myself to. He already has enough on his plate.
Eventually, the water goes cold. I drag myself out of the tub, wrap up in a towel, and glance at the window.
The sun’s sinking low.
Kylo takes our training sessions seriously. Maybe too seriously. The last few days, he’s pushed me to the edge with barely any breaks between drills.
I’m convinced he’s trying to kill me.
I head downstairs, steering clear of the dining room. As I pass one of the additional rooms, something catches my eye. It looks like another training space, only this one’s better. Yoga mats line the floor. There are bolsters, cushions, and a lingering scent of eucalyptus in the air.
Peeking inside, I spot the back of Leo’s and Carter’s heads. They’re seated cross-legged, deep in meditation.
Not wanting to disturb them or wait around, I slip into the kitchen and start rummaging through the pantry. I’m not sure what’s off-limits or who stocks the food here, but I find a protein bar and unwrap it.
It’s dry and chalky. Definitely not my favorite.
I’ll take this any day over the stale chips and plastic-wrapped doughnuts we lived off while we were on the road.
“Did you hydrate?”
My heart nearly leaps out of my chest. I jump, a piece of granola lodging in my throat. Coughing, I pound my chest with a fist.
Amusement crinkles the corners of his eyes. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”
“Sure you didn’t,” I mutter, clearing my throat.
“So?” he asks, raising a brow.
“So, what?”
“Did you hydrate?” he repeats.
Oh. Right. “Yes, I drank one of those drinks. The strawberry one’s actually pretty good.”
“It is.” His gaze drifts, as if remembering he has better places to be.
Why did he come in here?
“We’re going to practice weapons tomorrow. Rest up. You’ll need it.”
“Oh, perfect. Just what every girl loves to hear.”
“This isn’t a vacation.”
“Did I say it was?”
“I expect top performance tomorrow,” he says as he walks out.
Exit complete. Master of disappearing acts.
“You made the same rookie mistake yesterday. Don’t raise your hands. Bring them forward,” Kylo scolds, stepping behind me and positioning my stance.
He’s lectured me on my technique enough times to fill a book.
His hands settle at my waist, and my breath stutters as heat flashes up my neck.
A yawn slips free.
“I told you to rest.”
Easier said than done when you’re not the one vomiting half the night.
“Are you sick?”
“You heard that?”
“Answer the question.”
“I don’t know.”
I tried to fall asleep early, but dinner with Carter and Leo turned into hours of conversation. With Zayne and Kylo gone, it was easier to relax. By the time I made it to bed, sleep came in fragments, my stomach churning and waking me every few hours.
“You don’t know?”
“No,” I repeat.
“Are you pregnant?”
His question lands like a slap and a joke rolled into one, equal parts insulting and absurd.
“Excuse me?”
“If you’re not sick, why did you spend the night throwing up?”
Great question. One I don’t have an answer to.
“Can we continue training?” I snap. “Or are you planning to interrogate me with pointless questions all day?”
Raising the blade exactly how he showed me, I ready myself for an attack. In less than five seconds, he disarms me.
Five times in a row.
Apparently, weapon-wielding isn’t my specialty.
“You’re not going to improve if you don’t give this your all. Are you content to stay weak for the rest of your life, cowering and flinching when a man intimidates you?”
“Don’t talk like you know me.”
“I know enough. You spend our sessions acting like a victim instead of a fighter.”
A victim.
“What do you want from me?” I shove at his chest. “You want me to get angry? To hurt you?”
“I want you to fight.”
Come at me, asshole.
The thought practically screams in my head. Judging by the way he bolts toward me, fists clenched, he heard it.
His first punch is predictable. I block it easily, his weight shifting for me to take advantage. I duck behind him, lock my arms around his neck, and drag us both to the floor.
I’m not a victim.
I’m a fighter.
Hooking my legs around his torso, I attempt to lock him in place, but he’s too strong. He grips my arms and tosses me like I weigh nothing.
“Isn’t using telekinesis cheating?” I huff, catching my breath.
“What if I were an Aether Hunter?”
Whatever I was about to say dies in my throat as he hurls me with a flick of his hand. I slam into the padded wall. A harsh gasp escapes as I collapse.
Why is he acting like such an asshole? He didn’t have to throw me that hard.
“I’m an asshole,” he says coldly, “because I don’t want to waste my time or energy training someone who doesn’t give a fuck. If we take you out into the field with us, you could cost us the mission.”
The accusation hits like a fist to the ribs.
I show up to train, fight, and break myself down day after day.
Doesn’t that count for something?
The air between us seems to drop ten degrees, a localized winter radiating off him. “I don’t trust you. I don’t know why Leo brought you. And as you said yourself—” his voice hardens, “—you have no abilities. In this world, that makes you nothing.”
A deep, unfamiliar rage pulses inside me. My fists tremble with the urge to hit something—anything—to release it.
I tackle him, sending him to the floor. I straddle his chest, knees pinning him down, raining blow after blow against his chest, fueled by memories that won’t die. By the things I never got to say. The pain I never expelled.
It’s not Kylo beneath me anymore. It’s Joaquin.
This is for hurting me.
For hurting Leo.
For hurting Mom.
Kylo’s expression shifts, shock giving way to fury. I’m ripped away, stumbling.
“Is that all you’ve got?” he roars.
A surge of unfamiliar emotions slams into my chest.
Anger.
Pain.
Loss.
Suffering.
Guilt.
They pour into me like a flood, rising fast and wild.
Doubling over, I clutch my stomach, gasping for air.
I’m suffocating on something I can’t see.
Can’t name.
A burst of energy erupts from me, slamming into him like a shockwave. Kylo’s back hits the padded wall, and he drops to his knees.
“What the fuck was that?”
“I—I don’t know.” My limbs feel slow, disconnected.
How did he end up over there?
“You’re telepathic?”
“What? No! I don’t have abilities.”
“Then explain that.” He gestures sharply toward the space between us. “Telekinesis isn’t beginner-level. Telepaths train for years to achieve that kind of control.”
He closes the gap, hostility cinching every muscle. For a second, I see Joaquin standing over me, and I recoil.
Kylo freezes.
My shoulders sag, strength draining from my limbs. I sink to the floor, curling into myself.
He crouches in front of me. His eyes scan me.
Maybe if I close my eyes, I’ll feel better.
The man who’s supposed to love me—not hurt me—stands before me. His hand is a blur that finds its mark. A metallic taste fills my mouth.
Where’s the girl who used to fight back?
This will be over soon. Please let this be over soon.
Thin fissures web across a white plaster ceiling. My temples throb, and my throat is bone-dry.
“Lie back down. What do you need? I’ll grab it for you.”
“Water, please.”
Leo hands me a water bottle. I take three long gulps. The coolness soothes my throat.
“Another nightmare?”
I twist a chunk of hair between my fingers. “Yeah. What happened?”
“You fainted.” His scowl deepens. “I knew he’d challenge you, but he took it too far.”
“It wasn’t Kylo’s fault,” I mutter, despite how determined he is to make my life miserable.
“Did you have a panic attack?”
“No.”
“What happened? I asked Kylo, but he stormed out of here.”
“Kylo was here?”
“Kylo’s the one who brought you in. You’ve been out for six hours.”
I rub my eyes. “Where are we?”
“Their makeshift clinic. Zayne handled your care. He was a doctor before he joined Carter. He handles medical care around here.”
“Does he expect me to call him Dr. Landon?”
“Enough stalling. What happened during your session? You never passed out when we trained together.”
“Kylo didn’t harm me,” I explain. “I felt… different. I’ve never experienced anything like it.”
“Different how?”
“I felt his emotions. His rage. His guilt. It overwhelmed me. I couldn’t breathe. Is that because he’s a telepath?”
He chews the inside of his cheek. “Could be, but how would he transmit emotions?”
My heart stops. I remember why I passed out.
Kylo’s rage.
I felt it when I threw him.
With my mind.
“Lia, what else is there?”
“I sort of, um… threw him against the wall… with my mind.”
“You used telekinesis? Did he use mind manipulation on you?”
“I don’t know. It all happened so fast. I felt this strange surge of power inside of me. One second he was there, and the next he wasn’t.”
“Let’s figure out what’s going on with you.”
My heart drops. “What do you mean?”
“You’ve never shown any signs of having abilities, but you activated my vision the other day, and now you’re exhibiting new powers.” He paces around my bed. “You’ve also been sick, right?”
“Yes?”
“I’ll ask Carter if he knows what this is.”
“Carter?” I blanch. “You trust him with this? I felt Kylo. His anger is raw, like…”
“Like?”
“You know who.”
He inhales a sharp breath. “Kylo’s intense, but he’s not Joaquin.”
“How do you know we can trust them?”
“I’ll talk to Carter, and then we’ll figure this out.”
“Answer me, Leo.”
“This is something you have to trust me with.”
My shoulders dip, and I offer a begrudging nod.
He nudges my foot with his worn sneakers. “When have I ever put you in danger?”
“Never.”
“Exactly, so trust me. I’ll stop by in a few to check on you, okay?”
The back of my nose burns, tears threatening.
If Mom were here, she would know what to say.
Now there’s only emptiness where her voice used to be.