Let Love Flow

Chapter 1

“Skye, Nyeem still has a month before he graduates from high school. I said I’d start living my best life and doing me when he graduates, but damn, girl, give me a minute to wrap my head around all this shit.

My baby boy, my one and only son, the only child I’ll probably ever have, is basically an adult. ”

“I get it, Nyomi. I swear I do. When Stokley left for college, I didn’t know what to do with myself. It’s been him and me from the time I was sixteen. He’s away at school, living his life, and I can barely get him to come home to visit, so Mama decided to have a life too.”

Skye grew up in a town about thirty minutes from Black Elm, and we were rivals on the track while in high school. Once we found out we were both attending Black Elm University and would be roommates, all that rivalry shit went out the window.

She was the first person I told I was pregnant because I knew she would understand, since she had a two-year-old son at home with her parents. Once my life became more complicated, friends I thought would be around forever disappeared, and naturally, Skye and I grew closer.

“He’s not gone yet, though, and when he leaves, he’ll be twenty minutes away.”

Nyeem was a gifted young man, academically and athletically. He was in honors and advanced placement classes throughout his high school career and began taking college courses during his sophomore year, earning twenty-one college credits.

Athletically, he excelled on the football field, basketball court, and track and was recruited by schools all over the country for all three sports.

Ultimately, he chose to follow in my footsteps and continue his career in track and field at my alma mater.

I couldn’t have been happier with his decision, but I prayed it was what he truly wanted to do, and he wasn’t doing it to make me happy.

“In a few months, he’ll be moving on to campus. If you start now, you’ll have a life before he leaves,” Skye said.

I rolled my eyes, although she couldn’t see me because we weren’t on a FaceTime call. I had no idea what she had planned, but I knew she wouldn’t leave me alone until I agreed to it.

“Fine, Skye. Where are you trying to drag me?”

“Yes! There’s a singles mixer at Pitch Black.”

“Absolutely not!”

“Nyomi, don’t do that. Put on something sexy and let’s go out. It’s been years since the last time we went clubbing.”

She was right. It had been years since we last went to a club, and I had no desire to go any time soon.

Although I preferred going to day parties, concerts, or other ticketed gatherings where people dressed up and acted like they had some sense, I didn’t go out very often at all.

Pitch Black was a small club that felt like a lounge, and if I recalled, the age to enter was thirty-five.

“What day is it?” I asked.

“Tomorrow, and it’s from six to nine, so you can still be in bed by nine thirty.”

She knew me too well because one thing I didn’t play about was my sleep.

“Ugh,” I groaned because I had no reason to turn her down other than the simple fact that I didn’t want to go.

“Nyomi,” she whined, dragging my name.

“Okay. I’ll go, but you’re driving.”

“Umm, that’s a negative. We’re using a rideshare. I might have a few drinks.”

“Fine. I gotta go. My lunch is almost over.”

“I’ll call you later. Bye.”

The call ended, and I leaned back in my chair, stretching and yawning simultaneously. My thoughts wandered to a different time in my life, and I was grateful for how far I’d come.

I was a track star in high school, and, like my son, I received offers from schools across the country. When I chose to stay in my hometown and attend BEU, many people thought I’d sold myself short. I wanted to be near my family because they meant everything to me.

Choosing to stay close to home turned out to be the right choice. When I found out I was pregnant, I just knew my track career, and possibly my academic career, was over. Thankfully, my family, my coaches, and the athletic department at BEU had my back in ways I wouldn’t have imagined.

My son had been the blessing I didn’t know I needed, but I would never lie and say raising him as a single, college student-athlete was easy. Even with my amazing support system, at the end of the day, I was his mother, and I had no help from his father.

I took a year off from track, missing my first outdoor season and second indoor season, and came back with a vengeance. Only my parents, my older brother, and Skye knew who Nyeem’s father was, and I didn’t tell Nyeem his identity until he was ten years old.

I met Ambrose during my first semester of college.

He was a star defensive back on the BEU football team, so of course, he was popular.

I should’ve gone with my gut and steered clear of him when I found out he was a senior, but being young and naive, I loved the attention he gave me.

Another red flag I should’ve taken heed to was when he wanted to keep our “relationship” a secret.

When I told him I was pregnant, you would’ve thought I told him I’d given him an incurable sexually transmitted disease. After he calmed down, he said the baby couldn’t be his and told me to get rid of it. By this time, I’d already talked to my parents and had decided I would keep the baby.

From that moment on, Ambrose pretended he didn’t know me, and I was never one to chase after a man, so I matched his energy.

He was drafted into the league and went on to play professional football for the next decade.

I had no more communication with him after the day I told him I was carrying his child.

It wasn’t often that I allowed myself to think about how Ambrose dismissed his son and me. I hadn’t thought about that time since I shared with my son who his father was, and that was over eight years ago.

Nyeem loved football, playing both sides of the ball as a standout wide receiver and defensive back.

His high school coaches didn’t discover his talent on defense until his junior year, when one of his teammates was injured.

His sperm donor played the same position on defense, so I wasn’t surprised.

Although no one outside our immediate family knew of their connection, I believed his father’s absence was why Nyeem preferred to play wide receiver over defensive back, then ultimately chose not to pursue football beyond high school.

He hadn’t said it out loud, but I knew my son more than he knew himself.

I sighed as I stood, stretching again before cleaning up my desk from lunch.

I had a lot I wanted to finish before leaving for the weekend.

I was in my office on the main floor of the Eliza Atkins Gleason Library on the campus of Black Elm University, where I worked as the director of library services.

I’d held this position for the past nine years, after gaining several years of experience at one of the city’s local libraries and Black Elm City College.

I’d loved reading since I learned my first word. My parents got me a library card on my third birthday, and I’d spent many weekends and summer days perusing through books. I knew I wanted to be a librarian before going to high school.

After working at my desk for a few hours, I went out to the floor. It was busy because the students were beginning to prepare for their final exams, which were a few weeks away. I was stopped a few times by people asking for assistance before I reached the front desk.

“Hey, LaDonna. Did Professor Boone ever come and pick up the envelope I left for him?”

LaDonna was one of our library clerks.

“Yes. He came right before lunch and told me to thank you just in case he forgot to email you.”

“Good. I was hoping he’d make it before we left for the day.”

The library was open on weekends, but I only worked weekends a few times a year. Dr. Boone taught African American Studies and needed some information to prepare for his summer classes. The files were too large to be emailed, so I saved them on a flash drive for him.

“Do you have any plans this weekend?”

LaDonna was a few years younger than me and was married with elementary-aged children. She asked me every Friday if I had any plans, and more often than not, I didn’t unless it involved my son.

“Nyeem has a track meet tomorrow, which will take up my morning and early afternoon. Tomorrow night, Skye is dragging me to a singles mixer at Pitch Black. I tried to get out of it, but she wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

“Good for her. You need to get out more. Your husband won’t find his good thing if you’re always at home.”

“And that’s exactly why I stay home. I don’t have time for these men to play in my face.”

“They aren’t all like that. I keep telling you to let me introduce you to a few of my husband’s friends. They’re good guys looking for a good woman.”

I shook my head. “I’m good, girl. I don’t want to inadvertently hold it against you if it doesn’t work out with at least one of them.”

“I understand. I’m glad you agreed to go out, though. Nyeem is leaving the nest soon, and it’s time you start living a little more for yourself.”

“My family and Skye have been saying the same thing since the beginning of Nyeem’s senior year. I agree, but I don’t think I’ll be jumping in headfirst.”

It wasn’t as if I didn’t date or had even been single since Nyeem was born, but most of the men I went out with just wanted a few fucks, and the others had something against single moms.

The only real relationship I’d had was about five years ago, and it lasted a little over a year. I liked Daniel a lot, but he started having random, angry outbursts over the smallest things. It only took one time for him to grab me too aggressively before I called it quits.

Since that breakup, I’d been single as a dollar bill and hadn’t even been on one date. Of course, I got lonely sometimes and wouldn’t mind being put through somebody’s mattress, but it was what it was.

“Listen, sometimes headfirst is the only way to go. When I met my husband, I’d sworn off men.

My sister dragged me to one of her work events, and when I spotted him, I couldn’t stop staring.

Our eyes kept connecting because he was staring too.

He worked up the courage to approach me, we talked for a few hours, had sex the first night, and have been inseparable since. ”

I was shocked by her story because LaDonna didn’t strike me as someone who would give up the goods on the first night.

“The first night, LaDonna?”

“Judge me if you will. At least I married him.”

“That’s true.”

We shared a good laugh and talked for a few more minutes before I went back to my office. The last two hours flew by, and my day had come to an end. I wished a good weekend to those still working and headed to my car.

As soon as I started my car and my phone was connected to the Bluetooth, my son’s name appeared on my display. He made good use of the tracking option on our phones. He rarely called me while I was at work unless he really needed something, but as soon as I left, he was on my line.

“Hey, Son.”

“Hey, Ma. Whatchu doin’?”

“Nyeem, you know I just got off work. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. It’s cool. What are you doing for dinner tonight?”

“I hadn’t thought about it yet.”

“Let’s go to Soulful Diner.”

“You have a track meet tomorrow. Shouldn’t you eat something healthier?”

“I’ll have some pasta.”

“You’re not hanging with your friends or that lil girl you call yourself dating?”

He laughed but didn’t address my comment about his girlfriend.

“Nah. I feel like hanging with my mama. Is that cool with you?”

“You know you’re my favorite human, Son. I’ll be home shortly.”

“Cool. Love you.”

“Love you more.”