Chapter 5
“You snuck out?” Skye asked, sounding surprised.
“No. I’m a grown ass woman. I don’t have to sneak anywhere. I left when I was ready to go. He just so happened to still be asleep.”
After safely escaping the hotel room without waking Kilo, I came home, showered, and called Skye. I figured she was still asleep, but this was an emergency.
“You snuck out. Damn, friend. Was it that bad?”
“Bad? Girl, please. That man’s dick should be laced in gold and have a statue built in its likeness. It was best that I get the hell outta there before he woke up and had me climbing the walls again.”
“Nah. That’s the kinda dick you need to keep around. Did you at least get his number?”
“No, and I don’t regret it. He got the kinda dick that I’d act a fool behind, and I’m too old to act foolish about dick.”
“I understand, but having someone you can call to tune you up a few times a month is necessary. I still can’t believe you kept it on lock for five years.”
“Believe me, that wasn’t the plan. After Daniel, I didn’t have the energy to waste time with another nigga. This has been the most peaceful five years of my life.”
“Now that, I can agree with. That’s why I’ve opted to have a few friends with benefits. Exclusivity is not something I want because nine times outta ten, I’m the only one following the rules.”
“Preach, sis. Speaking of, . . . what happened with you and Knox?”
“Nothing. We talked, and he’s cool, but I don’t need another friend with benefits right now. I told him I’d give him my number if the universe brings us back together.”
I laughed. “And he fell for that?”
“He didn’t have a choice. He couldn’t make me give him my number.”
“True. What are your plans today?”
“Same as every Sunday: online church, laundry, cleaning, and relaxing.”
“I’ll be doing all that before heading to my parents’ house for dinner. You should come.”
My parents had Sunday dinner once a month, sometimes more often if the mood struck them. If at all possible, I never missed a chance to indulge in my mother’s cooking and spend time with my family. Skye sometimes joined us, but she rarely kept up with which Sunday the dinners fell on.
“It’s tempting, but I don’t feel like peopling today,” she said with a sigh.
We talked for a few more minutes before ending the call. I left my bedroom and went to the kitchen to find my son with his face buried in a huge bowl of cereal.
“Hey, Son,” I greeted, kissing his temple.
“Wassup, Ma? You have a good time with TiTi Skye last night?”
“It was fine.”
“Did you meet a man?”
“What do you mean, did I meet a man?”
“You said it was a singles mixer. Isn’t the whole purpose to meet someone?”
“I met a lot of people,” I lied.
“Good. Did you exchange numbers with anyone? It’s about time you started dating again. I’m leaving in a few months.”
“Boy, you’ll only be twenty minutes away, and don’t you worry about my dating life. I got this.”
He ate a few spoonfuls of cereal and shrugged.
“I don’t think you got it, Ma. It’s been like ten years since you dated.”
I gasped. “Boy, it hasn’t been that long.”
“It’s been long enough. I don’t want you sitting around here in this empty house all lonely. It’s cool if you find a man to keep you company.”
“How sweet of you to give me your permission, Son.”
“I know you don’t need my permission. I just wanted you to know I’m cool with it.”
I watched my baby boy as he ate his bowl of cereal as if it were his last meal.
He’d been my main priority since I’d found out I was pregnant.
As a single mother, I tried to make up for the absence of his father as best I could.
Thankfully, my father, brother, and a few of his coaches filled the voids I couldn’t.
There were only a few times he questioned his father’s absence, but once I shared his identity and told him the truth about my relationship with him, he didn’t ask any more questions.
“Maybe once I get you settled in your dorm, I’ll think about dating again. We still have the whole summer to get through together,” I responded.
“Ma, you just reminded me I’ll only be twenty minutes away, and now you’re making it sound like I’ll be halfway across the world. You work on campus, so I’ll probably see you every day.”
“That’s true, but it won’t be the same. How about you worry about what you and your lil girlfriend will do when she leaves for college, and not me.”
He laughed. “Dang, Ma. Why she gotta be my ‘lil girlfriend’ and not just my girlfriend, or better yet, Amani?”
“Because that’s what she is. You know I don’t like that girl. She’s always involved in some mess and trying to drag you into it. I’ll be glad when she goes away to school. And you better be wrapping that little dick up of yours because—”
“Ma, please. Let’s not go there. My dick is much bigger than the last time you saw it, and I always wrap up, using rubbers that I purchased. Can we not have this conversation again?”
I popped him on the back of his head.
“First of all, watch your mouth and your tone. I’ll stop telling you to wrap up when you get married. You don’t need—”
“Ma, I know, okay. I promise not to make the same mistakes that you and my sperm donor made. Plus, if it does happen, and it won’t, but if it does, I’ll take care of my responsibilities.”
He drank the milk from the bowl, stood, and went to the dishwasher. After putting his bowl and spoon inside, he closed the door, leaned against the counter, and looked at me.
“Nyeem, you weren’t a mistake. How many times do I have to keep telling you that?”
“I know you don’t regret having me, but I wasn’t planned either. I understand, and it’s cool.”
“You know you’re my biggest blessing and accomplishment, right?”
“Yeah, Ma, I know. I also know that raising me alone wasn’t easy. Two things can be true at the same time. I love you.”
He kissed my forehead and left the kitchen. I stood there for a moment, holding back tears and wondering when my baby became a man. I had to remember he’d always made good choices, and every night I prayed that he would continue to do so.
Hey, Daddy,” I greeted when I entered the kitchen.
“Hey, baby girl. Where’s my favorite grandson?” my father asked before kissing my cheek.
“Your only grandchild got stopped by his uncle outside. Where’s Ma?”
“She’s out back doing something. I just came in to use the bathroom.”
“All right. Let me go see what your wife is doing.”
I went to the backyard and found my mother under the gazebo, moving furniture around.
“Hey, pretty lady. Why didn’t you let Daddy do this?”
“Because he won’t do it the way I want. How are you, Sweet Pea?”
I kissed her cheek before responding. “I’m good and hungry. Is it almost time to eat?”
“The food is done, and we can start bringing it out once your brother gets here.”
“He’s here. He was talking to Nyeem out front.”
“Okay. Let’s go inside and start bringing out the food.”
“What did you cook?” I asked as we headed toward the house.
“Your father marinated some chicken breasts and thighs overnight in teriyaki and jerk sauce and grilled them this afternoon. I made fried rice, corn fritters, and grilled asparagus.”
“My goodness. That sounds so good. I’m starving.”
My brother, Nygel Jr., who everyone called Robby, which was short for his middle name, Robert, entered the kitchen with Nyeem behind him, just as my mother and I entered the patio door.
“Hey, Mimi!” Nyeem greeted my mother, Robyn, excitedly, then hugged her and kissed her cheek.
“There’s my baby. Where’s that lil girl you call yourself dating?”
“Dang, Mimi. You sound like Mama. Why y’all keep coming for my girl?”
“I don’t know what your mother said about her, but I just asked where she was.”
“Yeah, but you said that lil girl. Everybody knows what grown Black women mean when y’all put ‘lil’ in front of something.”
“You right, Nephew. They’re letting you know they don’t like her in the nicest way possible,” my brother said.
“Whatever, Robby. I have nothing against that lil girl. Wash your hands and grab a dish to bring outside. You too, Nyeem,” my mother said.
A few minutes later, we were seated in the gazebo. We held hands as my father blessed the food, then we began piling our plates with food.
“So, what’s new, Sweet Pea? How was the singles mixer?”
“Nothing’s new, Ma. The mixer was fine.”
I did my best to control my facial expressions while thoughts of Kilo ran through my mind.
“You didn’t meet anyone you wanted to go out with?” she pressed.
I shook my head. “Not really, but we had a good time.”
“Damn, I planned to go to that, but I got caught up,” Robby said.
My father laughed. “It was probably better that you didn’t go. All those damn women you’re messing around with would’ve started a damn brawl.”
“Don’t do me like that, Pops, but you ain’t wrong. That would’ve been a disaster.”
“What’s up with you, Grandson?” Dad asked.
“Nothing much. I’m just trying to finish the school year and track season strong.”
“You know, college track is a lot different from high school. You could be running against men who compete at the highest level. Are you ready for that?”
Nyeem nodded. “I know, GP, and I’m ready.”
“And you’ve completely closed the door on football and basketball,” my father continued.
“I think so.”
“What if I told you the new BEU head football coach reached out to me for your number?” Robby asked.
Nyeem shrugged nonchalantly. “I guess that’s cool, but I’m good with track.”
My brother was a high school science teacher and football coach at Black Elm Academy, a private school for grades six through twelve, where Nyeem attended.
“Did you give it to him?” I asked.
“I was tempted to, but I didn’t. I respect my nephew’s decision not to play football.”
“Thank you. We appreciate that,” I responded.
“Don’t be surprised if he reaches out, though. These coaches are resourceful,” Robby warned.
“As long as the coaches aren’t rude and respect my decision, I don’t mind talking to them. A lot of the football coaches I’ve talked to are shocked I chose track over football and think they can convince me to change my mind.”
“Have you considered doing both?” Robby asked.
“Both?” I questioned before Nyeem could respond.
“Yeah, both. It’s possible. I just hate to see my nephew’s talent go to waste,” he responded.
“It’s not going to waste; it’s going elsewhere,” I said with a whole attitude.
“I didn’t mean it how you think, Ny.”
“How did you mean it then, Robby, because you’re always—”
“Aht aht!” my mother interjected. “I know y’all aren’t about to argue over the dinner your father and I worked hard to prepare.”
“There’s really nothing to argue about. Nyeem made his decision,” Dad said.
“My bad, everyone. I wasn’t trying to argue, and I apologize if it appeared that way. Nyeem’s talent can take him far, and I just want to see my nephew live up to his full potential.”
“To answer your question, Uncle Robby, I’ve never thought about doing both, but maybe I should consider it.”
“Are you serious, Son?” I asked, surprised by his response.
“Sure, why not? If the BEU coach reaches out, I’ll think about it. Right now, I doubt I’ll change my mind, but things could change.”
I didn’t talk much during the rest of dinner, and my mother noticed. After we finished eating, I helped her put all the leftovers away and straighten the kitchen, as I always did.
“What’s wrong, Sweet Pea? And don’t tell me nothing, because I know my daughter.”
“I was so happy when Nyeem told me he wanted to run track in college. I feel so honored to have him following in my footsteps.”
“From what I understand, that’s still the plan.”
“I know, but if he plays football . . .”
“He’s following in his father’s footsteps.”
“Yeah, and I don’t know how I feel about that.”
“He hasn’t made a final decision, and you’re getting yourself worked up about it.”
“I’m not, I mean, not really. It’s not about him playing football, per se, because whatever he chooses to do, he’ll have my full support. I’ll be front and center at every game, cheering the loudest.”
“I know you will be. What about him playing football is really bothering you?”
“Nyeem is a star, Ma. He excels in everything he does. I have no doubt he’ll get on that football field and own it, and when he does, what if . . . what if his father decides he wants to swoop into his life as if he’s been here the entire time.”
“If that deadbeat wants to stop being a deadbeat, the only person who can allow it to happen is Nyeem. He’s old enough to decide what he wants from that man.
He’s also smart enough to determine if someone is genuine or not.
This is not something you should worry about because, ultimately, you have no control over it. ”
“I know, but—”
“No, Sweet Pea. You have to let this play out. You’re worrying about something that is likely not going to happen.
Ambrose has shown us who he is, so there’s no need for us to believe he’ll change.
As mothers, we want to protect our babies, but sometimes, it’s not possible.
We can always be there to help pick up the pieces if need be. ”
My mother’s words were hard to accept, but she was right. I had to let the chips fall where they may and support my son, regardless of where they landed.