This Ain’t No Love Song
This Ain’t No Love Song
CASH
DECEMBER
Iknow it wasn’t probably all that macho of me, but, damn, I loved Christmas music.
There was something about it that just got me feeling all happy and shit as it blasted through the house speakers of my place as I got ready.
Maybe it was because Christmas, and most importantly, my birthday, were a little over a week away.
I know a lot of people considered having a December birthday—or their birthday to be on Christmas Day for that matter—to be really damn shitty, but not me.
It was quite the opposite really. Probably because Mama made sure to go all out for both.
I’d never gotten my day lumped in with Christmas.
She’d always made it a big deal, and now at almost twenty-eight, it was still my favorite time of year.
Ollie probably would call me a child for that, not that we talked about Christmas much. Not that I didn’t want to. I was dying to have her come for Christmas dinner at my parents’ place, but every time I mentioned the holidays she shut down quicker than a water park in an electrical storm.
I hummed along to “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch” as I pulled my long-sleeved shirt off the hanger and slid an arm into it before turning to the oversized mirror to button it up.
Movement in the corner drew my gaze, and my heart clenched for all but a moment before a grin sliced my face.
I wasn’t entirely surprised to find Maverick’s scowling figure looming in the middle of my doorway or Ryder’s amused lopsided grin from beside him—the two were always gonna come check on me.
I hadn’t been expecting Cason, Charlie’s nephew and basically my little bonus best bud, standing there with them though.
I swear, even though we lived on the same damn property, every time I saw him, he sprouted up like a weed. Kid was like what…six or seven now? But in his cowboy getup, looking all spiffy in his navy blue and green flannel, starched jeans, and boots, he might as well be a little teenager.
“Hey, big guy!” I crowed, turning around to face him.
“Funcle Cash!” he shouted right back, darting toward me. The air whooshed from my lungs as he crashed into my side. I chuckled, mussing up his dark hair.
“Well, look at you, all dapper and shit. Better watch out or you’re gonna steal all the girls.”
“I thought Ollie was your girl, Funcle Cash.”
Your girl.
In my damn dreams…literally. I chuckled, thinking about how pissed she’d probably be hearing anyone say that about her. “Miss Ollie ain’t anyone’s girl.”
But a man could dream. Dad’s words from earlier still swirled in my mind. They’d been playing tricks on my heart all afternoon long, mixing up emotions I wanted nothing more than to bottle up and forget about.
Cason’s face scrunched up in confusion, his bright blue eyes narrowing. “But you guys are together all the time.”
I shrugged. “Her and I are just friends.”
Though I wanted more. I had for a while now. I wasn’t about to put a label on it and chase her away though.
“But you guys kiss,” Cason went on, that look of confusion still shining on his face. “And she stays the night. Friends don’t do that.”
Ryder’s lips pulled upward, whitening the scar cutting across his face. Mischief loomed in that shit-eating grin. “Yeah, Cash. Care to explain that.”
I blew out an annoyed breath. Everyone was so quick to fit Ollie and I into a box.
Were we just friends? Together? Hooking up?
A bunch of damn gossipers, every damn one of ‘em. I crouched down before Cason, focusing my gaze on him. “Well, you see, bud. Ollie’s a bit like me. We both like each other, but relationships just really ain’t our thing.
So sometimes we kiss, sometimes she stays the night, but at the end of the day, we’re just friends. ”
“So you’re…kissin’ friends?”
My lips pulled up into a satisfied grin as I rose from my crouch and mussed up his hair once more. “Yeah. Kissin’ friends.”
I liked that. And somethin’ told me Ollie would get a kick out of me trying to explain friends with benefits to a fucking seven-year-old.
Cason’s eyes lit up, excitement etching into the soft planes of his face. “There’s a girl at school I like. Can I be kissin’ friends with her?”
I bit back a bark of laughter. Ryder’s eyes nearly bugged out of his face, while Maverick couldn’t stop shaking his head in dismay. Not even a breath later, both of them shouted, “No!”
“But…” Cason blinked back his surprise.
I clapped him on the shoulder softly, drawing him to my side. “No, bud. That’s, uh…well, kissin’ friends ain’t somethin’ you can have ‘til your older.”
“Aw, how come?” he asked, glancing up at me.
Man, he was so damn innocent. Was I ever like that as a kid? Somehow, I doubted that. I was raisin’ hell from the time I was in diapers.
“It’s against the rules.” I shrugged, noting the disappointment in his gaze. “Sorry, I don’t make ‘em.”
Cason blew out a dejected breath.
“Aw, cheer up, big guy,” I said, offering him a gentle nudge. “Hey, why don’t you go run into the kitchen? Mama made some Christmas cookies. You can have one.”
His eyes lit up, shining brighter than the star atop Mama’s tree. In the next second, he disappeared out of the room, his boots clomping against the hardwood floors.
Ryder huffed a laugh, even as Maverick’s lips drooped down into his usual displeased scowl.
“When he gets in trouble for askin’ a girl to be his kissin’ friend, I’m telling Charlie you came up with that bullshit,” Ryder said.
Mav just shook his head. “You won’t even need to, she’ll know only he’s capable of comin’ up with somethin’ so damn dumb.”
I tossed my hands up with a shrug. “Hey, I thought it was pretty good.”
“If you were thinkin’, you wouldn’t have thought that,” Mav muttered, but amusement lingered in the depths of his jade eyes. “You almost ready?”
I sighed heavily as I finished buttoning up my shirt. “You can’t rush beauty, Mav.”
Cason came barreling in then. “I like Miss Ollie…even if she’s a little scary.”
I grinned, urging him closer with the crook of my finger. “Let me tell you a secret, bud.”
“What?” he whispered excitedly.
“All the best ones are a little scary,” I admitted with a wink.
And it was true.
The fact she could play my heart strings like a damn fiddle was downright terrifying. And what was even more so, was the fact I didn’t mind.
“Really?” Cason asked.
I nodded. “The scarier they are, the sweeter they can be when you get them to open up.”
I’d just gotten to the church when I noticed a familiar sky blue mustang in the parking lot.
Well, damn. I bit back a groan, frustration rippling to life within me.
It was just like Mama to invite Jacie Lynn.
We’d been broken up since the end of August and still she tried to pull this bullshit.
At this point I wasn’t sure if she actually wanted Jacie and I to get back together or if it was simply to piss off Ollie.
At least Ollie wouldn’t be here to have to deal with the awkwardness.
She hadn’t returned any of my texts all day, and between the fact it was at a church and my mom was involved, I didn’t think I’d have to worry about her showing up.
That wasn’t even factoring in the whole intent of this Christmas recital and dinner.
She was prickly and closed off about her childhood and growing up in foster care, and I doubted she wanted to be caught up in all this.
Not that I could really blame her. But a small, selfish part of me secretly hoped she’d show up just the same.
Making my way into the church, I spotted Mama talking to a few of her friends and—“Cash, look who I just bumped into,” she exclaimed, her voice rising above the din of the growing crowd.
Jacie turned to face me, her denim blue eyes shining with hope. She looked beautiful, radiant, as she always did, with an ever-present smile curving her lips upward. The chunky-knit, soft pink sweater dress she wore paired well with her white, high-heeled boots—but even in those I towered over her.
I sucked in a breath and tipped my hat. “Hi there, Miss Jacie. You look as pretty as a present.”
Her laugh reminded me of the soft tinkle of bells.
“Thank you, you’re lookin’ dashingly festive yourself, Cash Mooney.
” I wish she didn’t feel the need to fake a twang like she always did in public.
Despite being a born and bred Texan, she didn’t have a lick of an accent, drawl, or nothing.
But her music agent felt that was part of what made her shine, so she stuck to it.
I smiled, hating the long moment of silence that passed between us before I asked, “How’ve you been?”
She beamed at me, her grin holding the power of a million Christmas lights in it. “I’ve been good, had a couple great gigs.” Her voice gained in volume and excitement. “I’m actually gonna be performin’ at Cowboys for New Years!”
My lips tugged up into a genuine smile. “Wow, that’s great. Congratulations, Jacie Lynn, you deserve it.” And I truly meant every word of it.
“Y’all should come!”
Fuck. I think I might have preferred she hate me over this—this little ember of hope that sparkled in her eyes and rang in her words.
She was too sweet, too kind, too good. I’d been an asshole trying to make it work with her for as long as I did.
It hadn’t been a lie when I told her she deserved someone better than me.
Offering her a gentle smile, I replied, “We’ll see what we’re doin’. Sounds like a fun time.” But her and I both knew I wasn’t gonna go to that. I couldn’t lead her on like that.
“How’re you doin’?” she asked.
“Oh you know me…” I rubbed the back of my neck. “Same as usual.”
“So, are you, um, seein’ anyo—” Her words drifted off as the double doors at the back of the church swung open.
And like a ship to a lighthouse, my gaze whipped around until it settled on the fiery little she-devil that sparked flames of desire in my veins. I bit my lip to hold back the curse teetering on the tip of my tongue.
Fuck, she looked good. Better than good.
I didn’t know many people who could wear red like her.
And somehow despite the fact that she was dressed more modestly than usual—in a bright crimson pair of hip hugging flare-cut jeans and a black long-sleeved lace crop top that covered most of her tattoos—she still drew the gaze of more than half the church.
Her nervous, blue and hazel gaze flicked around the room, and even from here I could all but feel the tension rolling off of her.
For the first time since meeting Ollie, she didn’t hold that predatory grace I’d come to associate with her.
Right now, she reminded me more of a deer in the middle of the road with a truck barrelling toward her.
“Im…I’m sorry, Jacie Lynn,” I said, unable to look away from Ollie. “I gotta go. It was nice seein’ you.”
Before she could even utter a reply, my boots ate up the distance toward the back of the church.
Ollie hovered by the doors, almost like she couldn’t decide whether to stay or go.
But then her gaze settled on me, and a ripple of relief coursed through her.
Some of the tension melted away as she offered me a whisper of a grin.
My lips pulled up into a smirk as I came to a stop before her, leaning in to murmur quietly, “You’re sweatin’ more than a hooker in church, sugar.”
Her mismatched gaze blazed with anger, her jaw clenching as she hissed out, “Fu—screw you.”
I shook my head, unable to stop the chuckle from bubbling out of me. Honestly, I was more than a bit surprised she managed to catch herself. “Still thinkin’ about runnin’?” I asked, hoping my teasing would be enough to distract her from the situation.
She huffed, her eyes scanning the room. “I shouldn’t be here.”
“Sure you should.” I shrugged, and flicked my gaze up and down her. “You look fantastic.”
“Everyone’s staring,” she grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest. And damn me to hell, but I didn’t miss the way her shirt tightened on her tits as she did it.
“You could be wearin’ a potato sack, and everyone would be starin’,” I replied with a wink.
Ollie’s plump, red-stained lips pursed together for a moment before the hint of a grin tugged on her mouth. She tucked her white-blonde chunk of hair behind her ear, and asked, “So like…what am I supposed to do? I’ve never been to church before.”
Damn, she really was nervous. I don’t think I’d ever seen her like this.
Usually, even when she didn’t know what the hell to do, she oozed confidence and surety.
Holding out an arm for her, I nodded toward the front of the church where I noticed the rest of our group gathering.
“Come on, just stay with me. I’ll do all the talkin’. ”
She blew out a deep breath and hooked her arm through mine, nudging me with her shoulder. “Oh, look at you, so chivalrous.”
“Always.” I nudged her right back as we walked down the main aisle. She laughed, but I didn’t miss how she leaned into me, or how all of our friends—honestly, the whole church—seemed to watch us.
She may not have answered a single one of my texts earlier, but she was here now. And I wasn’t about to let her go.