Chapter 16
Braxton
My throat tightens as I feel her tension through our bond. Fucking hell. My heart pounds in my chest, hair sticks to my face and my ears ring like crazy. If I feel this through our bond, I can’t even imagine how she must feel like now.
“Who hurt you?” I ask demandingly. I sound harsh, but right now I am fine with that. Even in my head her voice sounds soft and vulnerable.
“Nobody,” she says way braver than her trembling words betray.
“Then why the fuck can’t I breathe?”
I feel her stopping, biting her tongue, swallowing her words. If I want her to trust me I should do things her way.
Soft and polite.
“Come on, Honey, what happened?” I empathize, trying to ease my voice and relax my jaw a bit.
“I am fine now,” she falters. “Just had a panic attack, that’s all.”
A panic attack?
“That is not nothing, Honey,” I growl, allowing the anger to come back again. I ball my fist and walk around in little circles. I bite on my fist in frustration. She should have told me!
“I told you I’m fine! Stop worrying,” she argues.
“Oh and by the way, we found clothes and weapons in a cave near the mountain. Where are you?” She trembles like nothing happened, reading my thoughts effortlessly.
She acts like she is fine, but I know she is not.
I can feel it in my stomach. My gut is telling me.
Fuck, fuck! Fuck! I need to get to her, keep her safe.
“Why are you acting like you are planning on killing someone?” Caleb suggests, pointing his finger at me. “I hope it is not me.” He shrugs, chuckling as he holds his shoulders up. I can’t help but stare at him, fuming.
I am able to kill anyone right now. Despite the fact he became my comfort person in this trial and almost acts like I am his friend, he doesn’t know what I am capable of. I don’t want to think of it. I always try to fight and deny what I am.
A monster.
Murderous demon if things get too heated.
The only title I have ever proofed myself to live up to.
The one thing the king turned me into. I’m not good enough and my signet isn’t the strongest. My brother is the better fighter and losing means punishment.
My mind brings me back to the first time.
Mom had just left, and I was only five years old when the king decided to do things differently.
I see my brother in front of me, holding a sword.
Holding a sword like no kid should do. He swung it towards me, with his right hand.
I had two little daggers to defend myself.
We had training session before. But I just couldn’t hurt my brother.
I threw a dagger at him, and tried to hold it midair, trying to show the king what I got. Of course my brother still won.
Disgust runs up in my chest and I almost get the urge to puke.
I feel the king’s eyes on me as he left me in the dungeons.
‘Remember how it feels so you will win next time. Develop a more important signet, grow yours stronger. Do something.’
All I ever wanted was to make him proud. To be loved by the king. To be loved by my father.
I was so scared.
So young.
So dumb.
But I’m not young, scared, or dumb anymore. He ruined me and finally got what he wanted. I am not capable of loving and don’t deserve to be loved. I will never make him proud, but it is still my incentive to make someone proud and never be humiliated like that again.
“Hello, you hear me? Where are you?” Eliane breaks in. I huff. Since Eliane blocked me out, we marched. It must have been over an hour, maybe even two. From here I can see the mountain. It is still far, but it is coming closer.
“I can see the mountain, but we are not there yet. I think we can reach the mountain before it turns dark, but we have to climb tomorrow.” I conclude, my shoulders still stiff in the air, my voice raw with frustration. I communicate to Caleb right away.
“I told Eliane we would try to get to the mountain tonight.” He nods his head in agreement.
“That’s fine,” she whispers. “See you then.” Shit. She is going to block me out again.
“Oh and Honey, don’t block me out again, will you?” I instruct her. She doesn’t answer me, but I can feel her presence in my mind. That is something at least.
The sun starts to disappear behind the mountain that can’t be more than a mile away.
Twelve miles normally wouldn’t take a day to walk, but without a map and only the light to guide us, we ended up going the wrong way a few times.
As Caleb and I chat during our walk, I feel Eliane coming closer.
His black buzz cut afro is filled with dust and his dark brown skin glows with sweat.
“So what is going on between you and Gwen?” he asks, looking up at me as we stomp through the dark forest. “Since you seem to hate her.” Eliane was right.
This part of the forest is dark. The trees reach high and especially now it is dusk outside it doesn’t bring the magical feeling and comfort the brighter part of the forest did.
They have branches that are broken off and look like spikes.
Caleb felt Gwen coming closer too, but informed me she wasn’t near the mountain yet.
Or that is what he told me at least. I am surprised we haven’t come across her as we walked this way.
“I don’t know. She acted like a spoiled princess when we met and doesn’t seem to like me.” I shrug. Caleb flat out laughs at me.
“You got it all wrong, mate.” My feet slow down, and I turn to him. I ruffle my hand through my dark brown hair. It is damp from sweat and I must look as gross as I feel. I don’t really care, though.
“What are you talking about?” I imply.
“She thinks your are hot.” He throws his head back.
“Like, she mentions you are exactly her type in every conversation we have,” he tells me laughing, raising one of his eyebrows.
“I don’t think she is the only one who thinks that.
” My face freezes. I have gotten girls’ attention before.
I am not an innocent little boy, but all girls care about are my looks or title.
I am a prince after all. Not that I feel like it. A low growl escapes my throat.
“Well, tell her I am not interested,” I continue. I clear my throat. “Maybe better tell them all I am not interested, because I don’t love—ever.” I slice one of the plant leaves to clear the pathway. Caleb has this stupid grin on his face.
“You pretend like you’re so smart, but you’re acting really dumb, you know that, right?” he teases. It feels like he is putting pressure on my open wound. He probably doesn’t even intend to, but still that shit hurts. I am not dumb, and I will do anything to prove it.
“You’re one to talk. I hear people talk in the hallways too.
You should be one of the smarter ones entering.
But if you enter this trial voluntarily, you’re everything but smart.
You sign a death sentence and there is no stepping out anymore,” I snap.
I shake my head in annoyance and my body tenses.
I am furious. I don’t want to be, but I am.
“You don’t know that,” he snaps back at me. I put my hand on my forehead and rub my temples. I look at him, my eyes wide.
“You don’t know him. Caleb!” I scream. “You have no idea what he is capable of!” I stamp towards him. He grasps his sword off his back, pointing at me as I come close.
“Back the fuck up.” He bristles. “I don’t know him, but I have heard him and others talk—and you, you haven’t exactly gotten the best reputation either, mate.” I reach for my sword as he jumps forwards.
“You really want to fight this one out, huh?” I spit out.
I step to the side, and we circle around each other.
How did this conversation get out of hand this fast?
It was me probably, but I don’t know how to handle things differently.
He swings his sword down, aiming for me.
I deflect, slamming my sword against his.
I slash forwards, cutting his upper arm.
He doesn’t react. Blood triples down his arm.
I have made a small cut, but it bleeds—a lot.
He throws out a kick as his signet starts to work.
My sword, which is still at my right and his left from the cut I made, starts to shape into a dull pole.
I throw it on the ground and it clatters down.
I focus on my tingle in my body. Caleb jumps forwards and before I can jump back, he slices my leg.
It is a sharp pain, but nothing in ratio with what I am used to.
I aim my hand, and his sword flies out of his hand landing on the ground, making it even.
He jumps towards me and throws out a punch, aiming for my jaw.
I duck away and jump on him. I throw him down, holding him by his waist as we fall to the ground together.
He kicks his knee in my groin, but I don’t react.
I press my arm against his throat, and my sight goes blurry.
My eyes feel like they are going to burst out of my head.
He must have noticed my moment of weakness.
He wraps his legs around me and flips us over, giving me a taste of my own medicine.
Even though he’s smaller than me, he’s strong.
His sleeve is all bloody and he looks pissed off. His lips are pressed firmly together.
“Got that out of your system?” he breathes out, his sweat dripping on my forehead.
He gives his arm a firm press before stepping off me.
He wipes his clothes clean as he wanders to grab our swords.
I bow forwards grabbing my knees as I sit up.
What has gotten into me? Fighting with the only candidate I kind of get along with.
He started, though. I watch him in silence as he puts his own sword on his back and grabs mine.
The pole of iron melts back into the old sword.
He wanders towards me and as he stands in front of me, he reaches me with his hand. I stare at it in confusion.