Chapter 2 #2
I’ve always thought it was because I just hadn’t met the right person, or didn't have the opportunities to.
The older I got, the more I started to think I was broken. That there was something really wrong with me. That I was a freak.
I might have been at my lowest point when I spent the rest of that night online trying to figure out what was wrong with me. When I found the answers I was looking for, I found an amazing community of support.
For the first time in my life, I had friends. People who understood me and who didn’t judge me, or make fun of me.
Sadly, none of them live anywhere near me, so my real life continues to be a lonely one.
Something Nina would never understand.
It’s why I haven’t said anything to her or my mom, no matter how close we are. Mom is set on finding me a good woman, getting married someday, and having kids, too. She’s positive it will all happen once I’m out of school and have time to date.
I don’t have it in me to tell her it’s not going to happen. Not ever.
“Blake.” My sister’s voice is softer now as she takes a step into my room, snapping me out of my own head. “Are you okay? I lost you there for a moment.”
“I’m fine.” I lick my lips. “Just tired.”
“Okay. I’m here if you ever want to talk.”
“Thanks.” I smile, but it doesn’t reach my eyes.
Nina leaves me for a while.
By the time I’m done showering and playing a few rounds of COD, Mom is calling us down for supper.
One of the best things about going to school in Silver Valley is that I get to live at home and be in my comfort space. I hate change. I like routine, and this is my safe place.
When I get downstairs, Mom and Nina are already at the table eating. A plate sits at the head of the table, made up for me.
“Thanks.” I pull the chair out and sit down.
Mom’s kind smile is on me. She’s still dressed in her scrubs. “How was school?”
“Good,” I lie.
Okay, so it’s not a lie. School was great, it always is. It’s what happened outside of class that sucked.
“How was your day?” I ask her.
“It was actually pretty good. A rare kind of day. We sure as hell can’t complain. Remember Mr. Henderson?”
“The older gentleman who was in for a hip replacement?”
“Yeah, him. His kids came in from out of town. You should have seen his face light up, like he was given the moon. It made my day a whole lot better. That poor guy seemed so lonely.”
“Aww, that's awesome,” Nina says.
We eat and talk a little bit here and there. Then Mom asks me another question.
“How's tutoring going? Did it start up yet?”
“Yeah.” I chew the bite of the steak in my mouth and swallow. “Last week.”
“Who are you working with this year?" Mom asks.
“A freshman named Bailey. She’s nice.”
Mom gets this look in her eyes, like there's some kind of hope. Damn it. I can’t even talk about someone being nice without her thinking more into it. “Don’t even, Mom.” I sigh. “She’s just a nice person. That's all.”
Mom doesn’t mention anything else about Bailey, thankfully. Then Nina opens her mouth. “Speaking of tutoring.”
The look in her eyes has my heart sinking. I know that look. It’s the one she makes when she wants to rope someone into doing something.
“No,” I tell her, pointing my fork at her. “Unless it’s helping you, it’s a no.”
“Please!” she pouts. “You’d be doing me a big favor.”
“Nina, no. I only take on one student. You know this,” I grumble. I hate being put on the spot.
“You’d be saving him, big time. He’s close to being kicked off the football team. And right before he graduates! It would be a travesty.”
I nearly choke on my food. “A football player? Are you fucking kidding me? Hell no. Nina, you know I don’t work with jocks.
” She thinks it’s because I think they’re too lazy and are always trying to get me to do their work for an easy A.
And don’t get me wrong, it’s a big reason. But not the only one.
“Blake. Language,” Mom warns.
“Sorry, Mom, but she knows I don’t work with any of the guys in sports.”
“He’s not like the other guys, I promise. Cooper is sweet and kind. He’s hardworking. I promise it wouldn’t be a waste of your time. He doesn’t want an easy A. He just wants someone to help him process the material so he can do well in class. He’s a scholarship student. He needs this, Blake.”
Damn it. Damn fucking it. She knows my weak spot for scholarship kids.
“A scholarship for football isn’t the same,” I protest. “Getting a free ride to college so you can join the NFL isn’t the same as someone coming here on a scholarship to better their life with a great education."
“He’s not even trying to be in the NFL. He took the scholarship because it was the only way he could afford to attend SVU. If anything, it’s the other way around. He’s using football to get a better education.”
I blink at her, my mind reeling. I want to say no. To say fuck no. But the look of desperation in my little sister’s eyes is hard to ignore.
“Blake, honey. Could you think about it, please?" Mom asks. “If this young man has worked so hard to be at this school, maybe you could help him out?”
“It’s just for this semester,” Nina pleads.
Fucking hell. I should have just gotten up from the table and relocated to my room as soon as she said football player.
“Fine,” I grind out. “But if he slacks off once, is late to any of our sessions, or is a pompous asshole, I’m out.”
Nina’s whole face lights up. “Deal. I promise he’s a good guy. You’re going to love him.”
I very much doubt that.
“You’re the best,” Nina squeals, jumping from her chair to throw herself at me with a hug.
It’s hard to be angry at her when she’s like this.
I hope I didn’t just make a mistake by agreeing to do this.
Only bad things happen when it comes to football players and me. I don’t have much faith in humanity, so I doubt that this will be any different.