Chapter 14
Blake
“Is something going on between you and Cooper?” Bailey surprises me by asking.
Looking up from my textbook, I frown. “What? No. Of course not,” I reply defensively, as my heart starts to race.
“You sure about that?” The corner of her lip twitches with a smile.
“Why? What would make you think that?”
“Last weekend at work, the man looked seconds away from murdering me.” She shrugs, smiling as she averts her eyes back to her textbook.
“No way. Cooper is like the sweetest person. He’d never hurt a fly.” Unless the fly is in the form of a six-two, raging asshole, football player, but that's the exception.
“He is pretty nice. It was sweet of him to drive me home.”
My eyes narrow, an odd sense of jealousy flickers on. “You do know he’s gay, right?”
“Yes.” She laughs. “It wouldn't matter if he was or not, since I’m also gay.”
“Oh.” And there I go, putting my foot in my mouth.
“I don’t know you very well yet, but I think you’re chill and I’m the type of person who knows what they want. And I think we should be friends.”
That takes me by surprise. “You do?” I raise a brow.
“Thought we were already heading that way.” She shrugs.
“You and Val would make good friends. You’re both very straightforward. Although with Val, it’s like she drinks five energy drinks a day. You’re more blunt.”
“Is that a bad thing?” she asks in amusement.
“No,” I answer. “As long as it doesn’t come off as mean or deliberate.”
“I’m blunt, not an asshole.” She rolls her eyes. “Plus, if I even think of being mean to you, your golden retriever bestie would come after me.”
“Stop.” I huff out a laugh. “He’s not that bad.”
“Oh, he is. And I think that's a good thing. It’s always nice to have someone who has your back like that.”
“Yeah.” My eyes drop to my textbook, a small smile forming on my lips at the thought of Cooper.
Is she right? Is Cooper acting this way because he’s just trying to be a good friend, or is it real jealousy?
Why does the idea of him being jealous over someone actually liking me fill me with happiness?
There has to be something there, right? I mean, who jerks off to the thought of their friend? That’s not common, is it?
My whole body flushes as I remember that night. The sounds he made, the way he said my name, the way his body looked as he crashed over the edge.
“Blake, you okay?” Bailey pulls me from my inner thoughts.
“Huh?” I blink up at her, crossing my arms as my cheeks heat. Surprise boners have never been an issue for me before, but I guess that’s changed now. God, this is so embarrassing.
“You’ve been staring at the page for like five minutes now.”
“Have not.” I scoff.
“Something on your mind?” she teases, nudging my shoulder. “Or should I say, someone?”
Before, when mom or Nina would tease me about a guy or girl, it would bother me.
It still does. I can’t help but be embarrassed, because this is a jumbled mess inside my head, but it doesn’t give me an uncomfortable feeling.
Because the truth is, I am thinking about Cooper. He’s all I seem to think about.
My life used to be school and my part-time job, that’s it. Now when I’m not helping Bailey or working, I’m spending all my free time with Cooper.
Going to his practices, his games, hanging out with his friends. We’re even at the point of hanging out at each other's work.
I might not be an expert at friendships, but I don’t think that's a normal thing that people who are just friends do. Maybe best friends, but even that isn’t common.
I love being around him. He’s my safe place. That should scare the crap out of me, because I’ve never allowed myself to rely on or get close to another person before. Nowhere close to the way I have with him.
I want to know how he feels, to see if it’s the same way I do. But I’m afraid of rejection and the way it would crush me if it doesn’t go the way I hope it would.
Just as we’re packing up from tutoring, the feeling of someone's eyes on me makes me look over.
Coop is standing a few feet away, leaning against a bookshelf, giving me his golden boy smile and my fucking heart melts. It starts to race, putting me into a full body sweat. I swear I forget to breathe.
“All done here?” he asks, biting his lower lip. I used to think that looked stupid when people did it. Now I find it hot. I find him hot. He makes me hot. Dear god, is it hot in here?
“He’s all yours, big guy,” Bailey says, patting his arm as she passes.
“Hey.” I slide my backpack on, then wrap my arms around myself. Ever since I realized how I feel about Cooper, I’ve been acting weird. I know he can sense it, I just hope he doesn’t think I’m second guessing being friends with him, when it’s really the complete opposite.
“Did you drive here today?”
“Ah, yeah, why?” Lately, I’ve been leaving my car at home because Cooper has been picking me up and bringing me back. But I knew he had to stay late for some football stuff today and didn’t want to put him out.
“Mind if I get a ride?” he asks.
“Didn’t you drive?” My brows furrow. I saw him get out of his car this morning when we met up for coffee.
“Yeah, but I let one of my buddies borrow it. He’s got a date with a chick a few towns over.”
“Oh. Yeah, of course.”
“Thanks.” He grins. “Sorry for making you go out of your way.”
We start walking toward the door. I look up at him and roll my eyes. “Really? You go out of your way to get me all the time. It’s the least I can do.”
“I mean, carpooling saves gas. Don’t you want to help the environment?”
“Whatever you tell yourself.” I chuckle, shaking my head.
***
If you told me I’d be going to multiple football games over the past two months, I’d have told you that you were out of your mind.
But here I am, at game number I-have-no-idea, sitting next to my friends, watching Cooper play.
Friends. I have friends. It still boggles my mind that this is my life now.
I used to think it was only a pipe dream, but I guess my mom was right when she used to tell me that things will get better as I get older.
That people grow and mature with time and it wouldn’t always be like this.
I never believed her; how could I see a hope for something better when life was so damn awful?
Mom was the only one who knew about the bullying in high school. I begged her not to tell Nina, because it wasn’t my sister's job to defend me, or take pity on me.
Mom didn’t like that Nina didn’t know, but I assured her it wasn’t any of her friends that were mean, just the people they associated with. I didn’t want to affect Nina’s social life just because people hated me. They loved her. As they should. She’s an amazing girl.
If it wasn’t for Nina begging me to tutor Cooper, I might never have experienced any of this.
So much has changed, in all the best ways. As I got closer to the girls and Cooper, the lingering doubt and wariness that this was all some fucked up cosmic joke started to fade. For the first time ever, I feel confident in my place within this group.
The only relationship I’m not too sure where I stand is with the insanely attractive six-three, golden boy football player, who’s currently kicking ass out on the field.
I’ve even stooped so low as to start wearing school colors and other team merch.
Val calls it school spirit, but I don’t care about anyone else on the field. Just Cooper. Only Cooper.
“He’s killing it out there,” Ellie says, bouncing with excitement.
“Right?” Val squeals. “And did you see how he looked when he came over to get a drink? All that sweaty hair.” Val fans herself.
“Are you getting all hot and bothered by a gay man? A gay man who’s your best friend?
” I grumble to Val, green seeping back in.
I know it’s stupid, it’s all harmless, but I still get the urge to mark my territory or something.
That's the messed up part, because Cooper isn’t mine to be possessive over, even though I want him to be. Damn it, I want him to be so badly.
“Ah, yeah,” Val says like it’s obvious. “I might not have any chance in hell, but I do have eyes.”
“Don’t let her get to you.” Ellie lowers her voice, bumping me with her shoulder. “You have nothing to worry about. He only has eyes for you.”
My head snaps to the side. “What?”
“Oh come on.” Ellie giggles. “You two might not feel the need to tell us just yet, and I understand that. But it’s obvious you’re dating. Don’t worry, I won’t say anything.”
My lips part and I blink at her like an idiot. “No.” I shake my head. “No. It’s not like that. We’re not dating.”
“You’re not?” Her brows lift. “I’m sorry.
I thought...” She looks out to the field.
I follow her line of sight. Cooper is there at the bench, taking another drink of water.
As if he can feel us watching him, he looks over.
When his eyes find mine, he smiles that big bright smile that melts me into a puddle, and winks.
“Are you sure?” Ellie laughs softly. “I’ve known Cooper for years and I can tell you that he’s never acted like this with anyone else.
I’m not sure what your feelings are for him, and it’s none of my business.
But if it’s not something more than friendship, I’d break it to him now before he gets crushed.
I love you, Blake, you’ve become a good friend of mine, but Cooper is my best friend. I don't want to see him get hurt.”
“Me, hurt him?” I gape at her. “No, I’d never hurt Cooper. He’s the best person ever. I love him. I wouldn’t dream of hurting him.”
Ellie’s smile grows and my cheeks burn like the sun when I realize what I just said.
“Shit.” Panic starts to set in. “I mean, I didn’t mean, well I did mean.”
“It’s okay.” She puts her hand on my arm. “Breathe.”
Nodding, I take a few deep breaths in and out.
“I’m glad I have nothing to worry about then.” She leans her head against my arm. “If you ever need to talk, want some advice or help, just let me know. I’m here for you.”
“Thanks,” I whisper, my heart thundering in my chest.