Chapter Five
”They”re going to follow you,” Leland says.
”As if I didn”t already know that. I want you to take my keys and lead them away.”
Leland gives me a look. ”Seriously? That”s a stupid job. What about Carlos?”
”I can handle him alone.”
”I”m not saying you can”t. I”m saying you should learn to share. Some of us need our pound of flesh, too.”
”You want a piece of Carlos?”
”It”s just been a few weeks since I got my hands bloody.”
I chuckle. ”Fine. You can take the next one.”
Leland sticks his pinky out. ”Pinky swear?”
”What are we? Five?”
”Just do it.”
I link our pinkies together and promise to let him handle the next client. It feels ridiculous to do this, but it”s always been Leland”s thing.
”Who is next?” Leland asks.
I open my phone and scroll to my list of soon-to-be corpses. They”re listed by importance, with the worst of the worst on top and the lesser-known evils on the tail end.
”Adam Carmichael.”
”The CEO who used his company to scam people?”
”He did worse than that. His scammy non-profit was a front to traffic girls who were in foster care.”
”Jesus,” Leland growls. ”I fucking hate that I”m a part of this species sometimes. Men are disgusting.”
”You won”t hear me argue.”
Leland and I make it outside before splitting apart. He goes straight to my sportscar and I to his. I slide into the black car and wait until I hear Leland peel away from the curb. The shrill sound lasts a few seconds before I see a dark SUV racing after him. I can”t help but smile. Men. So gullible. I honestly wasn”t sure that would work. The way both brothers stared at me made me feel something I hadn”t felt in a long time. Seen. I don”t like it. I”m content to be the girl no one truly knows. It makes my job easier.
I pull Leland”s car out of its parking spot and set it towards The Thousand Suns motel. It”s time Carlos got a taste of his own medicine. The motel is quiet and dark when I pull up. I park the car right in front of Carlos” door. The window next to his door is dark. But I know he”s inside. Declan let me use one of his men for the day to watch the motel. I grab the lock kit from Leland”s glovebox and climb out of the car.
It only takes me a few twists of the lock pick before the door pops open. The room is silent except for the snores from the bed. Letting the door click shut behind me, I move closer to the bed. Carlos is lying in the middle of it, half-naked. Sleeping peacefully as if he doesn”t have a care in the world.
I switch a light on and yell his name. His drowsy eyes find mine and go wide.
”What the hell are you doing in my room?”
”You already know the answer to that, Carlos.”
He gulps. His body tenses. I can see the wheels turning in his head. He”s going to try and make a run for it. I reach into my black bodycon dress and pull a knife from the side of my bra. Carlos jumps out of bed, rushing towards me. I let him get close enough before brandishing the blade against his throat.
”I wouldn”t do that if I were you.”
Carlos freezes. His pelt of chest hair sweeps against me. All he”d need is a gold chain, and he”d look like a late nineties gigolo. I walk him back towards a chair.
”Sit.”
I cut the phone line in half and use it to secure his wrists to the wooden chair. Once he”s secure, I step back and look at him. Sweat rolls down his temple. His face is marred with deep scars. He looks exactly like what he is. A coward. I want to kill him now, but I need something first.
”I”m going to make this easy for you,” I say, running the tip of my knife down his chest. ”Give me your account numbers, and I”ll kill you quickly.”
”Whore.”
Spit lands on my face as if to punctuate the word. I raise my eyebrow at the man strapped to a chair before me. If he”s holding his breath, waiting for me to burst into tears, he”ll die doing so.
”Try again, Carlos.”
I can tell by the way he smiles he”s not going to, not without some bloodshed.
”Go to hell, little girl.”
Predictable. I could have my tech-savvy sister, Juliette, hack into his computer and dredge up the information I need, but where is the fun in that? I push the sharp edge of my knife just barely into his chest, drawing out tiny droplets of blood. Carlos hisses. His soulless, pale eyes fill with a look I”ve seen many times. Fear. He”s realizing that he underestimated me. Just like all the men that sat in this chair before him. As if they believe no one with a vagina is capable of wielding a weapon. Their mistake.
”Account numbers?” I ask again.
Carlos” mouth falls into a flat, defiant line. ”Fuck you.”
I tsk at him, sliding the knife to the middle of his chest. There”s little resistance as I press my blade deeper. Carlos screams. A warm coat of blood trickles down his torso. I pause before I go more than a few inches.
”You can stop this any time,” I tell him.
Beads of sweat roll down his temple. Carlos drops his head down, wincing as he does. I have him. He takes a ragged breath before rattling off his account numbers.
”Is that all of them?” I ask, typing them into a message to Juliette.
”Y-yes.”
I climb into his lap. My bloody blade runs down the side of his face. Carlos fights against his restraints.
”Do you know why I”m here?”
Carlos dares to shake his head and play innocent. There”s a darkness in his eyes I”ve seen before. His eyes remind me of the night my life changed. The first man who hurt me had the same eyes. It enrages me beyond belief.
I stand up quickly and face him. ”You should”ve kept your hands to yourself,” I say before burying my blade in his eye. Blood spurts everywhere, but I don”t stop. I rip the knife out and plunge it back in hard enough to break the chair. My work here is done. The money my sister finds in his accounts will be transferred to Emilie, so she and her daughter can have the life they deserve.
My hands are shaky as I climb back into Leland”s car. There”s not been a day when I haven”t thought of the leader of that night. But sometimes, it hits harder than usual. And on nights like these, there”s only one person I want to speak to. The entire drive to my family home, my thoughts are consumed with memories. Blue eyes full of pure evil flash through my mind, hard enough to make me shiver. I”m not afraid of him. But just knowing that he”s out in the world somewhere, hurting other girls, drives me insane. Four of the boys who hurt me went to school with me, and they were all ”missing” by the next week. But him. I didn”t know him when he appeared in the room smelling of cheap cologne and smoke. I didn”t know him when he climbed on top of me and proceeded to take something that didn”t belong to him. And now? I can”t forget him. If only I could find him and make him pay.
I don”t stop at the estate. Instead, I drive towards the back. There”s a mausoleum back here now that Declan added a few months ago. He wanted a resting place for our father that wasn”t just the mantle in his office. Putting the car in park, I reach over to the glove box once more. This time for a mini bottle of whiskey. Crickets chirp into the damp night air as I scramble out of the car. My heels sink into the dewy grass as I walk the one hundred steps between me and my father. I push the marble door open and step inside.
In here, everything is quiet. It feels like the outside doesn”t exist. It is as if this place is in an entirely different realm. Maybe I just wish it were. This could be a realm where my father is alive. One where he didn”t leave me. He was my best friend. When I was younger, I was his shadow. An annoying shadow at that, but he never complained. He always took the time to teach me something or answer my questions. And sometimes that makes me so fucking angry. Why did he have to be such a good man? Why do I have to love him so much? It would be easier if he was a bad man. It really would. The pain wouldn”t be so bone-deep.
My eyes burn with tears. I drop into the bench in front of his ashes. The gold-plated plague is cold to the touch. I run my fingers over his name.
”I miss you, dad. So fucking much.”
I let myself fall apart for the first time in months. I let myself cry. For my father. For myself.
”Would we have found him by now if you were still here?”
Doubtful. After my father and I took care of the four accomplices, we searched for him. We turned over every rock for years. There”s no sign he ever fucking existed. I think that makes it worse. Not being able to find him for so damn long makes me feel as if I made him up. But I know I didn”t. It was too real. His voice whispered things in my ears, and I wished I could unhear them. The feel of his hands and mouth. Those details are too accurate to be fake. But every year that passes makes me doubt myself a little more.
”Why me?” I sob.
I just can”t understand what I did to deserve this. What higher power did I piss off? Not only is my innocence stolen in an act of unspeakable violence, but to take my best friend and father too? It”s a question that will remain unanswered forever. The torture of not knowing may be the thing that kills me. Because I”d give anything – anything – to have my father back. To have the life I had back. To have my fucking future back. It”s a useless wish. One that only sets me up for constant disappointment. Nonetheless, it”s mine.