Epilogue
The indented letters of my father’s name are rough beneath my fingertips.Everything is so different from the last time I was here. Where there was hurt, anger, and resentment, now there is a bittersweet peace. My father is still gone, and the pain of his absence will never leave me. But I’m no longer all alone.
Kaz grips my hand in his, he lays a soft kiss to my knuckles. “Are you okay, princess?”
He pulls me up off the bench, scraping the metal across my fingers. His gray eyes are locked on mine. Butterflies swirl in my stomach. It’s been two months since I’ve been with the Volkov brothers. But every day, I’m in awe. I never thought I’d be here; never thought I’d be loved. Some days, I feel like I’m waiting to wake up from this dream and simultaneously hoping I never do.
I nod. “I’m fine… but can I have a few moments alone with him?”
“Of course,” Dmitri says. He leans down, kissing my cheek. “We’ll go check on Mikhail.”
“If Declan has hurt him, I’m going to kill him.”
Dmitri smiles at me. “He’s your brother, viper. It’ll be fine.”
“You don’t know my brother.”
“Yeah,” Kaz interjects, pulling my chin towards him. “But if we can handle you, we can handle Declan, sweetheart.”
I shrug, not bothering to argue with his logic. Being a difficult woman never bothered me. Even when I thought I was unlovable. I accepted it as the truth. But my men have changed all that. They taught me that the ones who really love you, really want you, they’ll brave any fight. Take whatever I throw at them, just to prove to me they aren’t going anywhere. I’ve stabbed each of them at least a dozen times and they refuse to die. So I guess that means I’m stuck with them.
“I love you,” I whisper as I peck his lips.
“I love you more.”
Kaz deepens the kiss. Heat rolls through my body as his tongue dances with mine. Dmitri pulls me away from his little brother. Ripping the two of us apart like a piece of Velcro. He smashes his lips to mine. They’re impatient in prying my mouth open. My stomach trembles as he rubs his tongue against mine. I melt against Dmitri, as I feel Kaz’ hand on my ass. My body on fire like it’s being laid across hot stones.
I have to pull away before I do something like fuck them on the floor of my family’s mausoleum. My grandma would love that. She’d probably haunt me for the rest of my fucking life. And in no world, do I want that burden hanging around me.
“Go check on Mikhail,” I breathe out, flattening my hands against his chest to push him away. “Before I do something stupid.”
Dmitri chuckles. “Okay.”
Kaz kisses me once more before the two of them leave.
“Go,” I shoo at them, laughing. “Heathens.”
“Don’t take too long,” Kaz calls behind him.
“It will take as long as it takes,” I mutter.
The door shuts with an echo throughout the mostly empty room. My heart is racing after all of that. I take a deep breath as I slide onto the bench in front of my father’s final resting place.
It’s hard to catch my breath. But even once I’m calm, I still can’t find the words. How do I put into words what I did? After ten years, it still doesn’t feel real if I’m honest. I can still feel his ghost lingering around me. But at least I can find comfort in his painful death.
My emotions change like the swing of the pendulum. The air in my lungs gets caught for another reason. Tears leak out of my eyes as if someone turned a faucet on.
I can’t help but laugh. The relief of everything flowing over me.
“I did it, dad,” I whisper. My voice hoarse with emotion. “I found him. I’ll spare you the details, but I killed him. It was… graphic.
It was a messy fucking night. But honestly, being karma’s messenger felt good. And confessing it to my father feels like a weight off my chest. Only it hurts my heart to only hear silence in return. I knew it was coming but the plunge of silence is a painful fall.
“I think that’s what hurts the most sometimes,” I continue talking to his grave. “Not being able to hear your voice. I can’t say goodbye.”
The teas fall faster. “I just have to hope that wherever you are, you’re proud of me. I hope you’re happy.”
I’m not sure how long I sit there, letting the shadow of the last ten years pour out of me. Peace envelopes me with every teardrop. It’s like a warm hug after years of nothing but coldness.
“I should probably tell you that I’m with the Volkov brothers,” I cringe as I say it. “I’m moving to Russia, too. Might as well just tell you all the bad news.”
I laugh at myself, talking to him like he’s still here. Even though I know he isn’t. Sometimes, it’s just easier to pretend.
“But I’ll come back and visit. Every single month.”
The guys already promised me that. I spend a week in Vegas every month to clean up the streets. Just because I’m with them doesn’t mean I’m letting go of my purpose. I think it’s made it better. I get to kill people in two places now. Russia and Vegas. Win-win.
As I rise from the concrete bench, the gold metal plating surrounding his name gleams at me. Slow tears roll down my cheeks.
“I love you,” I whisper. “I’m going to miss our talks.”
My footsteps echo across the walls. I pause when I get to the door.
“I’ll see you soon,” I promise before leaving the room.
The night air is cool on my wet cheeks. My eyes immediately find Kaz.
“I thought you went to check on Mikhail?”
He smirks at me, holding up my jacket for me. I slip my arms in as he pulls it over my shoulder, gripping my waist in a bear hug.
“I needed to make sure you made it home safely.”
“Nothing is going to happen out here. It’s safe.”
“Eh. Where I’m from, we don’t trust the woods much.”
“That’s for a reason though. We own these woods. My father had them planted and rigged a certain way to ensure maximum security.”
“Still don’t trust it.”
“He has trees rigged to blow if someone gets close. I promise you, we are safe.”
“Your father sounds like a smart man.”
“He was.”
“So is his daughter.”
I let my head fall to his shoulder with a sob. “I miss him.”
“I know you do, baby. I know.”
He tightens his arms around me. Making it difficult to breathe between my tears.
“Did you ever meet him?”
I twist to look at him. Kaz nods at me.
“I met him once or twice.”
“Do you think he’d be proud of me?”
“Of course he would be, Vivienne. He was already proud of you before his death. Why would that change?”
I smile through my gushing tears running from my eyes and fall into his arms. He catches me, lifting me into his arms easily. I really needed to hear that. Pulling the door open he puts me in the backseat, climbing in behind me. Kaz yanks me back into his lap, trying to dry my tears with his jacket.
Grady looks back at us from the driver’s seat.
“Vivienne.”
“Grady.”
“Dmitri took the other car back. Had to call in a backup.”
“Fuck off, Volkov. I’m not your backup.”
“Just drive the damn car.”
Grady mumbles but he listens. He tosses the car into drive and pulls out towards the main house. It doesn’t take us but a few minutes to get there and my tears are no closer to drying. Kaz gets out before turning and picking me up again. I snuggle close to his neck, seeking comfort.
The front door creaks as Grady pushes it open. My family home is dark and quiet. I’m instantly alert. The hair on my neck stands up. This place is never dark. Never quiet. Something’s wrong.
I lean up just as a loud pop blows through air. Lights click on and confetti flies everywhere. I jump in Kaz’ arm. Dmitri and Mikhail are standing in front of us, concern written all over their faces.
“What the hell did you do, Kaz? You weren’t supposed to make her cry.”
“It’s not my fault,” Kaz growls.
“What’s going on?” I ask, wiggling out of Kaz’ grasp.
“Guys maybe now isn’t the right time,” Kaz says.
“The right time for what?”
The three of them stare at me like they forgot how to speak all of sudden. I look around the room. My family is scattered throughout the living room, watching everything. There’s a banner up on the wall. My jaw drops as I read it.
“You’re proposing?” I ask, twirling around the guys.
“Yes,” Mikhail admits. “But if you need more time or something.”
I hesitate, searching my heart. Searching my mind for a seed of doubt. A seed of worry. But I find nothing. Marrying the three of them will only add to my life.
“I don’t need time.”
He raises an eyebrow. “You’re sure?”
Nodding, I bring my hands to my face. “I’m sure. I just can’t believe this is happening.”
They fall to their knees without flinching. Mikhail in the middle with Kaz on his left and Dmitri his right. He takes out a velvet black box from his pocket. His brother mirroring him, only they hold red velvet boxes.
Mikhail opens his. My breath catches as I stare at the ring. The ruby is shaped like a heart. But I can tell it’s missing something. I realize what as Kaz and Dmitri open theirs. Dmitri’s is mostly made up of black diamonds with red sprinkled in. Kaz’ is mostly black though it comes to a peak, almost like a crown.
One by one they slip it onto my finger. As the rings come together, the diamond pattern turns into a snake. Each of their names for me represented.
“It’s beautiful,” I tell him.
“Will you marry us, Vivienne McBride?” Mikhail says.
“We’re going to be dickheads sometimes,” Dmitri continues.
“And idiots,” Kaz says. “But we want you to love us forever despite all that.”
I shrug, smiling down at them. “Don’t worry, boys. I don’t mind loving you forever. I’ll just stab you if you step out of line.”