Chapter 28 Lucy
Lucy
I adore the Oakleys, and it wasn’t until Charlotte took me aside and said, “I hope you can come to Oliver and Quinn’s for Christmas” that I realized that I wanted to.
I want to pick out gifts for each of them, I want to hang out more with Sadie and see her entire doll collection, and I want to sit around the tree wearing those stupid plaid pajamas and curl up to Marsh while we drink hot chocolate. I want things I’ve never wanted before.
My chest begins to feel warm, almost like liquid. It’s like my insides are a block of ice, slowly melting, and my cold exterior is deteriorating.
I don’t know what this feeling is.
“Hey.” I feel Marsh’s hand on my shoulder. I look up and my anxiousness is suddenly put to ease. I can’t quite explain how, but all it takes is that eye contact, that familiar smile, and that safe aura that Marsh exudes to make me feel better.
“Hey,” I say as he takes my hand. “Where were you?”
“There’s cake.” He passes me a plate with a slice of white cake and berries then takes a seat. “And I, uh, talked to Julia.”
My face visibly winces. “Painful or…?”
“Naturally. But it was okay,” he says. “It’s over and we can all move on.”
I place my hand on his thigh and lean in to give him a kiss on the cheek. “Good.”
Meanwhile, Oliver, Quinn, and Charlotte are deep in conversation about how Sadie’s too young to have a cellphone, even for emergencies.
“You okay?” he asks.
“Yeah.” I smile. “I’m great.”
“Good.” He rubs my lower back and then gives me a kiss on top of my head. It feels nice. I just want to bury myself into Marsh and never leave. I don’t want this night to end.
I don’t want us to end.
The music then switches to a familiar ballad, and everyone on the dance floor breaks off to find their partners.
“Shall we?” Oliver stands up as Charlotte begins talking to another lady at the table beside ours.
“Let’s do it.” Marsh follows and then offers his hand to me. “May I?”
The formality causes me to blush. I look at Marsh’s open palm and then up at him. “You may.”
We walk toward the center of the room, and Marsh and I find an embrace not too far from his brother and Quinn. Effortlessly, we sway to the music. I don’t think about anything. I simply enjoy the feeling of being in Marsh’s arms and being held in front of people who are important to him.
I rest my head on Marsh’s chest and feel a deep inhale on his end.
Slowly, he begins to trace my hip with his thumb, and it feels as if there’s nobody else in the room.
That’s how the entire past month has felt.
Utter bliss. Utter ease. Utter comfort. It always felt like just Marsh and me, the two of us.
Like we’re the only people in the entire world.
The only people who really get each other.
It’s an unfamiliar feeling, one I’m certain I’ve never felt before.
I know exactly what this feeling is.
“Marsh,” I say. Once I hear my voice, I hope he doesn’t hear me.
He now traces my lower back. “Mhm?”
“Can we go…outside for a sec?” I say slowly.
“Of course. You know what, let’s just get burgers now.” He gently pulls himself from my embrace, a slight curve at the corner of his mouth. “I’m going to run to the restroom and say bye to some people.”
“Okay,” I say. My heart begins to beat a little faster and my chest starts to tighten. “I’ll meet you outside.”
Everything suddenly feels overwhelming. The music, the people, the entire night.
I quickly scoop my purse from our table and head toward the garden where the ceremony took place.
The music from inside is now faint, and there are fairy lights sprinkled throughout the grounds that add a luminous glow.
Surprisingly, there isn’t anyone else out here.
I take my phone out and see that I have several texts from Jonah and one missed call.
Jonah:
Luce…
Jonah:
Luce, are you okay?
Jonah:
Just give me a call when you have a sec.
Jonah:
Also Sam and Shanna are sleeping together
Jonah:
And their bosses found out
Jonah:
Wait, shit I forgot you’re at the wedding. Just call me when you can.
“What?” I say to myself, trying to decipher his messages. I then see one email in my work inbox.
From: The LA Journal
Subject: An Important Company Update
The blood rushes from my face as I open the email. The Journal has only sent out an urgent company-wide update on a Saturday once before. It was to avoid in-office panic and ensure systems were locked before Monday.
Scanning the words on my screen, I don’t think I can even process what I’m reading. What jumps out to me are the words layoffs and If you are receiving this email, your team has not been affected. Shaking, I call Jonah back. It takes only two rings until I hear his voice.
“Took you long enough,” he says.
“I just got the email…” I say. “I’m safe. Are you?” I ask and there’s silence on the other end. I pull my phone away and look at the screen to make sure I still have service. The call is still intact. “Jonah?” I say, my voice practically shaking. “Jonah? Are you?!”
“No,” he says.
The ground beneath me feels like it shakes. Like a tremor and I almost lose balance. My heart plunges into my stomach as my chest collapses into itself.
“No,” I barely get out, refusing to believe him.
Jonah is not only a grade A employee, he’s also someone who has a social presence; people follow him as if he were an influencer and read his stories because he wrote them.
He has pull in the entertainment industry and he can book exclusive interviews in a way other writers can’t.
Aside from his skill set, he’s a good person.
He’s the heart of the office. He knows everyone and he’s integral to The Rue’s culture. “No,” I cry.
“It’s okay, Luce. It’s okay.” Jonah regains composure and he’s suddenly the one comforting me. “I’m okay. I got a good severance package. I’ll be okay.”
“I don’t—I don’t understand…” I manage to say. “How? Why? You’ve been there for seven years!”
“I don’t know,” Jonah says defeated.
“How many people were affected?” I ask.
“That’s the thing…” Jonah’s voice lowers. “I think fifty this round.”
“This round?”
“Apparently, they’re going to do cuts in waves. One more before the end of the year.”
“Fuck.” I shut my eyes. I knew this was coming. I was expecting it, but the bullet I just dodged is actually a boomerang that I’m not safe from. But I can’t even think about myself right now. “Jonah, I’m so sorry,” I say, fighting back tears.
“It’s okay,” he reiterates. “Elijah has a good job. I’m on his insurance, I will be fine. I promise, Luce, I’ll be okay.”
I sniff and force myself to believe him. “Also, what?” I refer to his slew of texts. “Sam and Shanna? Who’s Sam?”
“The guy from The Journal!” Jonah says. “From happy hour.”
I knew there was something going on. I could just sense it.
“They’re dating?” I ask, recalibrating my brain to this new update. There’s too much information to process in such a short amount of time.
“Yeah,” Jonah replies, “and fired.”
“They got—” I choke on my words. “Fired?!”
“I don’t know the details but pretty much their bosses found out and now they’re the only people from their teams affected by layoffs. It’s not a coincidence.”
“But…” I try to collect my thoughts. Sam works at The Journal and Shanna is at The Rue. “They’re at different publications,” I say.
“I don’t think it matters. HR is strict about that stuff. Especially because Shanna is a senior writer. God, I hate corporate life,” he breathes out, and I have nothing to say in return. “You need to be careful, Luce,” Jonah warns.
“Me?”
“Yeah, you,” Jonah says. “Marsh is more senior than Shanna.”
My stomach drops. Surely this is not the same thing. “But that’s different.”
“How? It doesn’t matter,” he says. “Forget if you’re sleeping together. If people found out your stories are about him, or that you’re at a wedding together right now, it’s not going to be good.”
My heart starts to pound. “Jonah, you’re scaring me!”
“I don’t mean to!” Jonah says, easing up. “All of this stuff just happened so obviously as your friend, I need to tell you.”
“No, I know.” I take a breath. “It’s just, that’s different…and even if Eman found out, she likes me! Do you think she would fire me?”
“I know she wouldn’t,” Jonah says. “But we’re all just numbers. So, be careful, okay?”
I feel like my insides are being pumped with helium and I’m about to pop. “Yeah, okay. Thanks for telling me.”
“I got you,” Jonah says sincerely. “We’ll talk next week, okay? I’ll call you or we’ll do a coffee.”
My throat feels tight knowing that I won’t see him in the bullpen on Monday morning. Knowing that my best friend lost his job.
“Talk next week,” I agree, then hang up.
Nothing feels real.
I reread the company email. Over and over again.
I was so worried about myself this whole time I didn’t even think about the people I care about. I never thought it would be a possibility for Jonah to lose his job. I didn’t think—
“You ready?” Marsh appears and my stomach lurches. There’s a somatic reaction to seeing him looking so blissfully relaxed. So happy. But my body already knows what my brain is comprehending.
Given the recent news, this changes everything.
I can’t take any chances.
I need out. Now.
He walks toward me and my hands begin to tremble.
“It’s beautiful out here,” he says but I don’t react. He draws back to look at me, a groove forming between his brows. “Hey, you okay?” he asks and I can’t bring myself to respond. “You’re practically shaking.” He takes off his suit jacket and wraps it around my shoulders. “Is it too cold?”
“Check your email,” my voice cracks.
“What?”
“Check your email,” I demand.
Maintaining eye contact, he reaches for his phone in his pocket. He finally peels his gaze from mine, and I watch his eyes dart back and forth reading the same email I got. He swallows and then looks up at me.
“Are you safe?” he says.
“Yeah,” I say softly and then hesitate. “Are you?”