Chapter Twelve
Avery
I hurried to pluck a spatula out of the utensil bin and made quick work of transferring the cookies to a cooling rack as the timer continued to beep into oblivion behind me. I tossed the hot tray back in the already-cooling oven and mashed the timer button once, twice, before it stopped.
I shifted the cookies around a bit on the rack, giving them space to cool off as my phone chirped.
JAMES: Sorry again about last night. The last thing I wanted to do was leave once I had finally gotten into the same room as you.
I could feel myself smiling like a giddy school girl as I re-read his text.
It was hard to watch him walk away after longing to be next to him for so long, but I appreciated his loyalty to his family, and him being someone they could call on when in trouble.
That thought made him even sexier to me.
I shot off a quick reply before letting myself get swept away in the vibes.
ME: I hope everything is okay. It was nice to finally feel your arms around me. I can’t wait to be with you again! My parents will be home this afternoon. I’m gonna talk to them as soon as I get off work. Then maybe we can meet up afterwards?
JAMES: Should I bring the mask again? ;)
The fact that I didn’t yet know what he looked like was splitting my sanity in half.
On one hand, the mystery was terribly sexy.
The fact that he’d worn a mask and knew I would love it had me popping boners like a pubescent grade-schooler.
I couldn’t even remember the last time I had been this keyed up about anyone or anything.
On the other hand, not knowing what he looked like was giving my imagination free rein to try and fill in the blanks. Various images, looks, and features flashed across my mind like a flip book—plugging in different lip shapes here and facial hair there…
But my subconscious always seemed to settle on chiseled features, gray eyes, and a lopsided smile belonging to a certain mechanic I knew.
ME: Ohhhh you should def hold on to that mask! My head’s been spinning since last night.
I couldn’t help it; JR was just so hot. I never thought in a million years that someone who looked like that would ever even look twice at a scrawny guy like me.
And that kiss!
I shook off the memory of JR kissing me in the driveway of his garage.
JAMES: Oh??? Do tell, sweet boy…
“Stop fantasizing about him, Avery,” I scolded myself. “James is here now, and you’ve already betrayed him once with David.”
I still felt terrible about the way things had gone down with JR. He had fixed my car, for free, and he was so sweet and sexy. He hadn’t deserved to be led on. He especially didn't deserve to come face-to-face with David and all his overbearing bullshit… which brought me right back to the cookies.
ME: My mind keeps replaying your hand over my mouth, and those amazing eyes being the only thing I could see staring back at me. Anyway, NAUGHTY, lol. I’m getting ready for work, stop trying to turn me on.
I looked up the garage’s prices online. A standard oil change ran about $49.
99. So, I had the cash and the apology cookies I carefully placed in a baggie.
I was determined to make it right. I’d just head down there and drop them off, with the cash, and then I wouldn’t have to worry about him thinking I was some kind of whore who led guys on to get them to fix his shitty car for free.
I don’t know that he actually felt that way, but I did.
Maybe it was selfish, but I needed some form of closure. My coconut oatmeal cookies and a $50 bill were gonna have to do the trick.
JAMES: You turn me on every time I think about your beautiful face. And the smell of your shampoo is intoxicating. I want to puddle a fistful of your hair between my fingers and inhale it through the screen.
ME: Lollllll, It's just Pantene. But I’m happy you like it.
JAMES: Pantene and you! ??
I could feel my stupid cheeks beginning to redden as I stared at the heart emoji he’d sent.
God, I’m pathetic.
ME: Okay, I really have to go! I’m gonna be late.
JAMES: Call me after you talk to your parents?
ME: Okay. ??
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in through my nose. My nerves were shot, and the prospect of telling David I was leaving him was becoming more terrifying and real by the second.
I had a pretty good idea how he was going to react, and that’s why it was so important to get to my parents before David began to suspect there was anything going on.
They were my only way out. I couldn’t afford to live on my own, despite how embarrassing it was going to be to have to crawl back to my childhood bedroom.
Mooching off my parents heading into my mid-20s was a shitty prospect, but building a life with a man I actually loved was going to be worth it…
Hopefully.
***
I flicked the butt of my cigarette in the parking lot and exhaled the last puff of smoke as I rushed through the diner’s main entrance seven minutes past shift start. I barely registered Nikki’s snort as I rushed past the hostess station.
I resisted the urge to flip her off as the diner was already bustling with early birds. Instead, I stuffed my backpack under the cash register and threw on my apron.
“How was everything?” I asked on autopilot as I cashed out a regular.
“Wonderful as usual, Avery. Thank you.”
I smiled and handed the older woman her change as Nikki joined me at the register to ring up an order. “You know, in all the years we’ve worked here together, I don’t think I can remember a single time you’ve been late.”
“There’s a reason for that. I fucking hate being late. It gives me anxiety.”
“Yeah, yeah… take a Xanax. Who cares? Tell me everything!”
“Unfortunately, there’s nothing to tell.
James came over, he was wearing a mask. Got a phone call, someone in trouble, had to bail.
My parents are coming back this afternoon, I’m gonna tell them I want to leave David and move back in with them.
It will be the perfect narrative for what they’ve accused me of my whole life.
Not having any direction… wasting time, will never amount to anything if I drop out of school… blah, blah, blah.”
Nikki turned and opened her mouth to speak, but I interrupted by continuing my spew.
“Also, because James decided to play dress up, which was in and of itself extremely sexy, I’m still in the same position.
I don't even know what this man looks like, and I’m about to throw my whole life, and possibly my family, away for him. ”
“Does it really matter?”
I felt my eyes widening as I stared at her. “Are you fucking for real? Of course, it matters!”
Nikki offered an overexaggerated shrug, keeping her wide smile in place.
“I don’t think it does, sir. I think you’re full of shit.
You’ve never once mentioned anything about what you hope he looks like.
It’s always, James is so funny, look what he wrote…
or James was so sweet to remember my birthday and wrote that he wished like hell he could be there to celebrate with you.
When you got engaged to David, the only thing we ever talked about was how much you were hurting James by doing it.
We never talked about flowers, band, catering, venues…
nothing. It always came back to James. I think you’ve been in love with him for years, and it doesn’t matter what he looks like, because he didn’t use looks to win you over.
David is good-looking, in a Miami Vice douchebag kinda way, and look how that’s worked out. ”
Knowing that Nikki was completely correct left me no room for argument, so I just took a step closer and folded my arms around her shoulders. She chuckled and returned the gesture as Paul put a plate of steaming scrambled eggs, sausage, and toast in the window.
Nikki picked up the plate and headed off into the dining area to deliver it as I sat a group of three businessmen in suits. I was ringing in a to-go order when Nikki joined me behind the counter again.
“So, what’s next? How do you plan to tell David?”
I grabbed two rolls of silverware and popped them onto an empty tray, prepping to run the next order.
“I’m honestly not sure. I thought about writing him a letter, but that feels like a cop-out; no pun intended.
But I’m a little terrified to tell him in person.
At least, alone in person. So the first step is getting my parents on board.
If I can get Dad on my side, it’s gonna make this whole thing a hell of a lot easier. ”
Nikki paused her work at the register and turned. “But you don’t think he’s gonna side with you, do you?” Her voice was laced with pity. The tinge of anger that coursed through me wasn’t because she’d said it, but because I felt it.
“David is the son my father always wanted and never had,” I said.
“He’s masculine, good-looking, and loves sports.
He’s an officer, which my dad always wanted me to be.
But that kind of career path was never in the cards for me.
They like barbecuing and drinking 10 beers in the span of a football game…
I’m never going to be that for him. And, somehow, he’s lucked out and managed to find the perfect son anyway, and I can’t get away from him fast enough. I…”
“Just stop! Don’t do this to yourself, Avery.
Your worth is not tied to your parents’ bullshit expectations or fantasies they have.
If your dad still wants to hang out and catch a game with David, that’s on him.
It has nothing to do with you. You deserve to be happy, and if your parents aren’t in agreement with that, then you don’t really need them, do you? ”
“It’s complicated…”
“It’s not,” she countered. “Love should be unconditional. Period. They might not be happy at first, but, at the end of the day, I can’t imagine they don’t want what’s best for you, and that includes getting out of your icky engagement.
James or no James, David is an ass. You are, and always have been, too good for him.
Besides, who actually gets to have that romance novel, prison-mystery-man fantasy in real life?
I’m so jealous, I could kill you! You know people write books about this kind of shit? ”
I laughed as Nikki fluttered off into the dining room to check her tables. “You’re insane,” I called to her back as I grabbed a plate of waffles out of the window.
After the morning rush had died down, and there were only three tables, all of which were already content and eating, Nikki slid up next to me at the bar with two mugs of coffee in her hands.
“Thank you!” I hit print on the computer and graciously accepted the mug from Nikki as table 12’s receipt printed.
I took a sip and set it down before tucking the receipt back into the billfold along with Mr. Wharton’s worn-down American Express.
I dropped the fold down in front of Mr. Wharton and thanked him for coming in, just as I did every day, and headed back towards my coffee cup.
“The rush today was a little wild,” I mused as I picked the mug back up again.
Nikki nodded. “So, why were you late, anyway?”
“I wanted to drop off some cookies and an apology note to JR.”
“The mechanic?”
“Yeah, I felt bad for leading him on. I didn’t want him to think I’m a massive slut and flirt with guys to get favors. So, I dropped off some cash and the cookies as a sorry-slash-thank-you whatever.”
“You’re such a freak. You’d never make it as a woman.”
“Eww, who wants a vagina, Nikki? Honestly.”
She laughed and nudged me with her elbow. “Ahh, Avery. Have I ever told you that you’re one of my favorite humans?”