24
I am standing at thekitchen sink looking out across my father’s land –my land. Another week has passed, and I have talked to Logan a lot about my plans for all of it. I want us to build a house in the back pasture so I can sit on the back porch and watch the sunset over the pond. He loves the idea and we both hope it can be built soon, pending getting all of the breeding plans up and going. I am going into town today to see my grandparents and talk over some decisions Logan and I have made about the farm with Megan. I know she left it to us for now to take care of, but it wouldn’t feel right keeping her out of the loop. This was her farm, first. Way before I ever came along. Even if we never found out we were cousins, she is still one of my best friends and I always want to keep her perspective on all the changes and plans, out of respect.
Logan has stayed with me in the farmhouse since they have been gone so much. It’s just easier and honestly, we have had sex so much it’s just nice to fall asleep in bed together. We even have our daily routine alongside each other every day; Breakfast, chores, showers, sex, dinner, sex, then sleep.
I think back to that scared girl who just up and left the life she knew with a broken heart and ended up in one of the best places she could dream of. How much life has changed, how much stronger I am now because of being here. I was broken, and this place – these people – mended me and added to much more than I could have ever imagined, when I arrived. Logan’s statement to me still rings in my ears, nothing’s random. How true that has been.
“Maggie.” Logan runs into the house startling me. “We’ve got to go.” He is out of breath like he ran the whole way from the barn.
I look confused and grab the papers off the table and Logan takes them out of my arms and throws them on the table, “You won’t need those. Let’s go.” There is an uneasiness in his voice. He grabs my hand and pulls me out of the house and towards his truck. Nerves run over me.
“What’s going on Logan?” I ask him, but he won’t look at me.
We ride in silence, but I notice we are driving in the direction of the nursing home.
No. My heart starts to beat more rapidly in my chest in anticipation for the worst. Logan grips the steering wheel so tight; his knuckles are white.
***
Logan pulls in thefront of the building, and we rush out of the truck. He grabs my hand and we both walk quickly to the front door. The receptionist I met a few weeks ago who hugged me gets up when she sees us and tears fill her eyes, “Maggie,” she points to the door, “Don’t worry about a name badge. Go.” I smile at her, and fear fills my gut.
Logan holds my hand as we walk down the hall and as we get close to the front desk, I see the staff is wiping tears. Becky sees me first and she runs up to me, “Oh, Maggie.” She hugs me, “Megan...” and I feel a hand on my back. It’s Megan, and her eyes are puffy. She’s been sobbing, and when she gets to me, her voice breaks.
“Collin and I didn’t come visit this morning.” She starts trying to hold back tears, “We met with their lawyer to make sure everything was secure for their estates, etc. I wanted to make sure you were still on everything, too.” A single tear slides down her cheek and she looks down at our feet and then back up at me.
“Becky called me, and I called Logan to get you here as fast as possible, but they were gone before we even got here.”
I search her fast realizing what she is saying, “No.” my voice breaks and tears fall down my face.
Megan grabs my hand and leads me down the hall towards their room. She opens the door and I see Collin in a chair with his head down in his hands. Logan goes to him, and Collin stands when he sees us, throwing his arms around Logan.
The room is dimly lit, the tv is on low and their breakfast trays are untouched. I look over at the bed and my heart shatters into so many pieces. My grandparents are laying together in one bed, arms around each other and look so peaceful. They are holding hands and look like they are just sleeping. Margaret is still in her night gown and Jefferey is in pajama pants and a T-shirt. They both have smiles on their faces and if my mind is not playing tricks on me, it looks like they may have been in a deep conversation before they passed.
“Becky said they had laid down to take a nap.” She wipes a tear and pulls me into her, wrapping her arm around my shoulder, “I knew they were slowly declining, but I didn’t realize it was going to be this soon.” I lay my head down on her shoulder and we both cry together for a while. Collin walks up beside Megan and wraps his arm around us.
“They have been through so much together.” I start to say and wipe a tear as it falls, “From the military, losing their children, losing their grandchild, raising grandchildren, Jefferey getting sick-” I pause grasping the words I’m looking for, “then, they are reunited and get to leave this earth together, hand in hand. It’s beautiful.”
Logan comes up beside me and wraps his arm around me. I look up at him and see a tear fall down his face. “They took me in when I was at my lowest and had no one.” He says in a low, sad tone.
We all stand there together, looking at the people who taught us so much about life. More than I am sure they realized.
A moment passes and Megan turns to me, “Oh,” she says pulling a paper from her pocket, “Grandma must have been having a good day and knew this day was coming. She wrote us all notes. I found them in her Bible.”
She hands me a piece of paper and I look at her, surprised.
Walking over to the chair Collin was sitting in, I sit down and open it. It’s a handwritten note in pen.
––––––––
My Magnolia,
My time on this earth is coming to an end. I can feel it in my soul. I’ll be reunited with my children soon and how I cannot wait to see their faces and hug their necks. What I am going to miss is the time I could be spending with you. I don’t have these good days often so while I’m in a state of mind to remember, I want to write this to you.
I always prayed for your return, and you would take over the farm like your father intended you to. Now I’m just sad to say I won’t have an earthly seat to it. I’ll be smiling from heaven.
You came into our life again as a girl just trying to get away from a bad situation and a life she didn’t want for herself. A girl named Ivy. I knew from the moment I met you, there was something about you that drew me to you. You reminded me of, well, me. Your strength and the ability you had to dodge curve balls, even on the farm, and the help you gave us.
I know you must be having so many feelings. So many questions. And while I won’t be here to answer them for you, I hope you read the books I’ve written to you over the years in full. There are so many life lessons in there and I hope they serve you well.
I know you must be so angry with your adoptive parents. I know because I would be angry, too. I wouldn’t want to forgive them for taking time away from me. But honey, you don’t forgive them for their sake, you forgive them for yours. You won’t be able to truly move on with the life you want if you don’t forgive those who wrong you along the way.
I love you, Maggie. I always have and I always will. You were the first to make me a grandmother and I will never forget the happiness you brought into our lives. You are the reason for our Magnolia Farm.
Please keep your cousins close. Let them teach you and help you. The only reason we never told them about you is because I didn’t want them to experience the same heart break as we did. You are all my greatest joys in life other than my own children.
If you and Logan decide to make it official, make sure he continues to date you even when you”re twenty years into marriage and have children running around. Always put each other first, communicate often and don’t sweat even the smallest thing. This life is too short. Believe me. It comes and goes as fast as a blink. Enjoy every moment, even the bad.
And dodge those curve balls.
I love you more than you will ever know, Maggie.
Continue to go out and do big things.
And dodge those curve balls.
All my love,
Nana
––––––––
I notice my chin islike a water fountain as the tears run down it, soaking my shirt and some of the paper I am reading. Logan is standing beside me for support, but he lets me have my moment.
Becky opens the door to their room and says, “Are y’all ready?” I stand up and Megan looks at me and I nod.
Megan takes my hand, and we walk out the door with Collin and Logan behind us as the funeral home staff goes into their room.
Becky hugs Megan and I, “Girls, if you ever need anything, please call me.” She wipes a tear, and we thank her. She continues inside the room to help the funeral home staff. Megan and I walk towards the exit and to our trucks. Turning to her I smile, “Well, I know what we do now.” And she cocks an eyebrow at me.
I grin, “We dodge this curve ball and continue the legacy.”
We both wipe tears, and she smiles at me nodding her head agreeing.