11. The Heartthrob Hacker
As I satin the bustling coffee shop, nursing a latte that was more froth than substance, I tried to piece together a semblance of normalcy. “Okay, Operation Keep Jo Away from Everett is officially in motion,” I declared, trying to muster a bit of enthusiasm. Sadie and Emily, always ready to dive into my latest crisis, leaned in with matching looks of determination.
Sadie took the lead. “Jo and I will have breakfast this morning, and she’s got back-to-back meetings with investors right after. No chance she’ll bump into Everett.”
Emily chimed in, her voice low. “And if I see Jo heading toward your cubicle with Everett, I’ll steer her away. Consider me your on-the-spot diversion.”
I nodded, appreciative but still anxious. “Great, but what about long term? What’s the plan for the rest of his employment?”
Both friends winced, the complexity of the situation dawning on them. “Honestly, Rachel, you might need to just tell Jo what happened,” Emily suggested gently.
Cradling my head in my hands, I exhaled. “I don’t know what I’m going to do, guys. You know Jo—ever since that Palm Springs retreat, she’s been this hippie romantic, seeing love and light and happily-ever-after in everything.”
Sadie snorted. “Yeah, she’s been a bit much. More ‘woo-woo’ than usual.”
Internally, I recounted the debacle. My best friends knew what Everett had said, and Emily felt awful because her call to Everett had been overheard.
Sadie’s expression was earnest. “Wouldn’t this just be easier if you talked to Everett and let him know you’re Huntra?” She looked at me, hopeful that maybe this time, I’d see the sense in her suggestion.
I shook my head, feeling the sting of past conversations echo through me. “No,” I said firmly. “It would be humiliating. He already made it clear he’s not interested in me as Rachel. He said I’m not his type—too much, whatever that means.” My voice faltered slightly, betraying the hurt I still carried.
Emily interjected, her voice soft, trying to offer a different perspective. “But, Rachel, he loves Huntra. Doesn’t that count for something?”
“It’s complicated,” I sighed, feeling the weight of my dual identities. “If he can’t appreciate both sides of me, then it just feels wrong. I mean, Huntra is a part of me, yes, but she’s not all of me. I can’t just ignore the things he said about Rachel.”
Sadie reached across the table, squeezing my hand gently. “But maybe he didn’t mean it the way you think. Maybe he was just confused, or?—”
I pulled my hand back slightly, needing to stand firm. “I heard him, Sadie. He was pretty clear. And besides, I don’t want to push him into liking me. I don’t want to be just tolerated or accepted because he feels he has no other choice.”
Emily nodded slowly, her expression thoughtful. “I get it. You don’t want to force anything. But aren’t you at least a bit curious to see if knowing the truth might change things?”
I let out a small laugh, half-bitter, half-resigned. “Curious? Yes. Willing to risk our friendship and my pride on a hunch? Not so much. I’d rather keep what little I have than open myself up to bigger disappointments.”
Sadie exhaled deeply, clearly frustrated by my resistance but understanding all the same. “Okay, we’ll drop it. But just know we’re here for you, no matter what you decide.”
Their support was a slight comfort in the vast uncertainty of my situation. But for now, I resolved to keep my secrets just that—secret. The risk of losing everything wasn’t worth the potential reward, not yet.
Emily and Sadie reached across the table, squeezing my hands in a comforting grip. Their sympathy was palpable, warming yet heartbreaking.
“It’s okay,” I reassured them, though my voice cracked slightly.
The familiar chime of my phone broke through the hum of conversation at the coffee shop, drawing a collective groan from our table as I glanced down to see my mother’s name flashing on the screen.
“Great,” I muttered under my breath, already bracing for the inevitable lecture. Picking up the phone, I mustered as much cheer as I could manage. “Hi, Mom.”
“Rachel, you’ve been avoiding my calls. How are you?” Her tone was a perfect blend of concern and thinly veiled accusation, a skill she had mastered over the years.
I plastered a fake smile on my face, though she couldn’t see it. “I know, Mom. I’m just so excited about the bridal shower and bachelorette party,” I lied, my voice dripping with forced enthusiasm. She had planned a full weekend in Nashville—a bridal shower brunch followed by a bachelorette party. Just thinking about spending time with my sister’s perfect sorority friends, who always made me feel like an outsider, made my stomach churn.
“That’s wonderful, dear. Now, I wanted to discuss your outfits. I’m having some dresses delivered to you,” she continued, plowing through the conversation with the efficiency of a bulldozer. “And the menu needs to be confirmed by Wednesday?—”
“Mom, I’m about to head to work. I really can’t talk right now,” I cut in, hoping to derail the conversation before it picked up any more steam.
Unfazed, she went ahead. “I also picked a date for you for the wedding, because I know you won’t find someone in time,” she said briskly, as if she were scheduling a dental appointment.
“Mom,” I protested, frustration and embarrassment heating my cheeks.
“Honey, I’m doing you a favor. It’s really time you settled down. You know, there are plenty of good IT jobs here too,” she continued, her voice taking on that familiar tone of ‘I know best.’
“No, thank you, Mom. I really have to go,” I said, barely keeping the irritation out of my voice as I quickly ended the call.
I slumped back in my chair, the relief of hanging up mingling with the residual frustration. Sadie and Emily exchanged a look.
“Are you okay?” Emily asked gently.
I sighed, the weariness seeping into my bones. “I’m fine,” I started, then paused, shaking my head. “Actually, I’m not fine. Lately, I just don’t feel like I’m good enough for anything. The only thing I am good at is game development.”
Sadie’s voice was earnest. “You’re more than good at it, Rachel. You’re amazing. Don’t let her make you feel any less.”
Emily nodded in agreement. “And we’re here for you, no matter what.”
I nodded, grateful for their support but still feeling the sting of my mother’s words. “Thanks, guys. I think I might tell Jo what happened, though.”
“That might be a good idea,” Sadie agreed softly.
“And if Jo tells Everett, then I guess that’s that,” I added, trying to sound indifferent but feeling a pang at the thought.
Sadie’s tone dropped to a conspiratorial whisper. “Rachel, maybe dial it back a bit with the Jo talk, huh?”
I waved her off, my frustration boiling over. “I mean, come on, it’s true! Ever since that Palm Springs retreat, she’s been all ‘love and light’ and more meddlesome than ever. It’s like she thinks she’s some kind of fairy godmother or something, trying to fix my love life with her woo-woo magic.”
Emily tried to catch my eye, her gaze flickering past my shoulder with growing alarm. “Rachel, seriously, I think Jo’s approach might just be her way of?—”
I snorted, rolling my eyes. “Her way of what? Invading every single part of my life? She’s not just a boss; she’s like a helicopter parent. No privacy, always hovering. She even tries to set me up on dates with her ‘enlightened’ friends. It’s too much!”
Sadie reached out, squeezing my arm, her voice urgent. “Rach, I really think you’re?—”
Ignoring her, I continued on, my voice rising in exasperation. “And let’s not forget the team meetings that turn into group therapy sessions. She thinks she’s helping, but really, she’s just forcing her hippie dippie philosophy on all of us. It’s exhausting!”
Emily’s hand clamped over mine, her grip tight. “Rachel, maybe we should just?—”
I shrugged her off, too caught up in my rant. “No, I’m tired of just nodding and smiling. It’s like she’s lost it. One more ‘soul cleansing’ and I swear I’m going to?—”
“Please, tell me more about what you really think of me,” Jo’s voice cut through the background noise of the coffee shop, sharp yet strangely amused.
I froze, my heart sinking as I turned to see Jo standing right behind me, a knowing smirk on her face. The warmth from my cheeks rushed to my ears, my previous confidence deflating like a punctured balloon.
Emily and Sadie exchanged a look of mortified sympathy, their expressions saying what their words couldn’t: This is not good.
Cringing, I managed a weak smile, scrambling for any semblance of dignity. “Jo, I?—”
She raised an eyebrow, her smirk widening. “Don’t worry, Rachel. I’m all ears.”
Stammering, I grasped at the threadbare edges of my composure. “Oh my God, Jo, I’m so sorry. Please don’t fire me.” My words tumbled out in a nervous rush, each one more desperate than the last. “I’m just… I’m really hurting, you know? And I overheard Everett—he said he didn’t like me, like Rachel-me, not just… not just Huntra. And now he’s working here, and I’m freaking out because I thought maybe you’d tell him who I am and?—”
Jo’s expression was unreadable as I babbled on, my panic spiraling. “And I just, I can’t have that happen. I’ve been trying to keep it together, really. But it’s just so awkward, and I thought if anyone would understand, it would be you, but now I’ve probably just made everything worse by saying all that stuff about you and?—”
I realized I was only digging my hole deeper so I cut myself off and took a deep breath. “I mean, you’ve been great, really. It’s just been a tough time, and I guess I’m not handling it as well as I thought.”
Jo listened, her smirk softening into a more thoughtful expression. After a moment, she nodded slowly. “I see.”
The simplicity of her response left me teetering on the edge of paranoia. Was she contemplating how to fire me gracefully? Or perhaps planning an office intervention?
She took a sip of her coffee, seemingly unperturbed by my meltdown. “Well, I’ve got my coffee now. I’ll head back to work. It’s time to meet our new employee, isn’t it?” Her tone was casual, almost too casual.
Nervously, I nodded, my heart still racing. “Yes, yes, it is. And, Jo… I mean Johara? I really am sorry.”
“No worries. I won’t be woo-wooing your situation, darling.”
And as Jo walked out, I looked at Emily and Sadie, then let out a curse. “Fuck.”