Chapter 8
Magnolia
My stomach is rolling as I watch them take Cody away. I’m not sure what exactly happened once he and Nick started speaking, but in the end he was put in handcuffs in the back of the patrol car.
Caleb is looking at me. “Do you have some place to stay? I’m worried about you staying out here with him. It might not be safe until the divorce is final and you’ve done a distribution of assets. He doesn’t seem like he’s all there right now.”
To hear a police officer tell me this hits me right in the middle of my chest. I’ve been feeling this way for months, but it’s been like no one has taken me seriously. To know he is right now, means everything to me. “I’ve got a place to stay.”
“Alright, we’ll be able to hold him forty-eight hours. Just make sure you have what you need out by then.”
Before he came back in, I’d been packing a bag, and texting with Levi.
He was gracious enough to offer me a place to stay, but I can’t exactly tell his dad what my plans are.
He’ll probably text Levi and warn him that I’m a fucking mess.
Tell him that the man I married is fucking off his rocker, and it would be easier for everyone if I just disappeared.
Instead, I nod, smiling nervously. “Thank you, Caleb. I appreciate it.”
“If you need anything else, call and let me know. Between the two of us I never liked him and thought you could do better. There were a couple of times where he said things to you. I felt compelled to step in, but Molly told me it was your marriage, and we had to trust that you knew what you were doing.”
This actually breaks my fucking heart. My own parents couldn’t step in, but my best friend’s parents wanted to?
I manage to keep it together as I cross my arms over my chest and nod.
“She was right. For a while, I didn’t want people to know how bad things were.
Now, I’m more open about it. He’s jealous of my success and doesn’t see it as our success. ”
“Because it isn’t his, and he’s threatened. I see it all the time.”
My throat tightens. “I’ve always wanted a marriage like yours and Ruby’s. It’s what I hoped I would have. Instead it’s turned into a huge fight, and I think I’m going to be on the losing end of it.”
He reaches forward, hugging me tightly. It’s not the first time Caleb has hugged me, but this is the first time I’ve needed it so badly.
Just someone to give me a little bit of support through all of this.
I’ve needed it more than I’ve let on, and I allow him to hug me tightly.
When he lets me go, he speaks softly. “You’re going to be fine, Magnolia.
It might not be today, might not be tomorrow, but in the end you’re going to be okay. ”
I want nothing more than for that to be true.
A few hours later, I’m pulling up in front of Levi’s house. He’s given me the code to get in, along with the okay to put a small fridge in his house. I’ve also grabbed a couple of foldable tables, and I’ve stopped at the store to get supplies for the next week.
As soon as Levi told me I could stay with him, the unease I’ve been feeling went away. For the first time in months I’m comfortable, and safe. At least safer than I’ve been.
Grabbing my phone, I shoot off another text to him.
M: Are you sure it’s okay for me to set up a work station? I saw when I came in that you have a building in the back. Would it be better for me to work back there?
L: No, that building doesn’t have electricity running to it. You’re welcome to do whatever you need to in my house. I’m still remodeling the back, and I’m not doing much in the front. I’ve asked you to stay, and whatever you need to do while you’re at the house is okay with me.
I can’t get over the feeling I’m taking advantage of Levi. That his offer is because he feels sorry for me.
M: Are you sure you have room and the willingness to let me do this? I don’t want to take advantage of you, or kick you out of your own house.
L: You’re doing neither of those things.
I invited you, and when I did that, I knew what I was getting into.
You have a business to run. It’s a home based business.
If, for whatever reason, you’re here for longer than a few weeks, we’ll talk about serious options.
I’m not willing to let you go back to that situation. I heard it over the radio.
How embarrassing. Who else heard about the situation over the radio.
While I realize that most who listen are doing it because it’s part of their job, there’s a bunch of others who listen because they’re nosy.
They want to hear everything about their neighbors and gossip about them behind their backs.
I’ve done everything in my power in order to not be in other people’s mouths. Not after the way my parents told me never to draw attention to myself.
M: Thank you, I appreciate it. I’m going to do some rearranging, but if you come home and it’s too much for you, please tell me.
L: It’s fine, Magnolia Grace, I promise.
Those words warm my chest in a way it used to when Cody would say sweet things.
It was good until we got married, and then everything changed.
Which is why I want to take everything that Levi says at face value, but at the same time I’d done the same with Cody. And I’m seeing now how that turned out.
What if I give Levi the permission to hurt me by believing whatever it is he says to me? I’m not sure I’ll be able to come back from it if Levi breaks my heart.
But right now, I can’t think of any of those things, I have to get my business back up and running. It’s what’s paying for the divorce, and for both Cody and I to live. Although I would love to cut his ass off, my attorney says I can’t just yet.
As I’m getting the last table set up, I get a FaceTime request from Molly.
I’ve been avoiding her and know I can’t do it anymore, but I’m kind of worried about her knowing that I’m at her brothers.
I get into the chair next to the table, and push it back against the wall so that she can’t see where I am.
This is a regular wooden wall, so hopefully she’s not tipped off.
“Hey,” I answer, giving her a smile.
“Hey,” she answers back. “I heard things were a little crazy at home earlier.”
I wonder who all has heard about what happened.
It’s the last thing I really want to think about.
When I was in town, at the grocery store, I made sure not to make eye-contact with anyone because I didn’t want to see the sympathy in their eyes.
Didn’t want to listen to them speak in hushed tones about what my life is like. “Yeah, it wasn’t a good situation.”
“Do you need a place to stay?” She asks. “I know that my apartment isn’t huge, but it’d be better than staying with him.”
“Thank you for the offer, but I’m actually staying some place else. I’m safe, and Cody doesn’t know where I am.”
She looks closer at what’s behind me. “Are you at an AirBnB?”
“Yes,” I say quickly, thankful that’s what she came up with.
If in the end I need to tell her I’m at Levi’s I can say something about the AirBnB not working out.
“I was lucky to find one that was renting for a couple of weeks. It’s allowing me to continue working while I’m away from home.
Regardless of the chaos Cody’s thrown me in, I still have orders that need fulfilled and money that needs to be made. ”
“I wish I could help you. Do you need help? Is there something I can do for you?”
I knew this was coming. Molly is always worried about me, and always offering to fix things. “Thank you for even offering, but this is something I need to do on my own. I’ll continue posting on social media as I can, and fulfilling orders. Anything I can do to keep things as normal as possible.”
“I’m so sorry, Mags. I thought that Cody was it for you. He had us all fooled.”
That he did, but I can’t listen to everyone say sorry to me about how much my marriage has imploded. “Thank you, but you don’t have to apologize. I’m sick of everyone apologizing. It is what it is and I have to be a big girl and admit that I was either blind or stupid.”
“You weren’t either of those things.”
But I feel as if I were. “I’ll definitely be more careful next time. Whoever knows when next time even is,” I sigh. “Right now I feel as if I’m off men for a while.”
“What about women?” She raises her eyebrows up and down with a grin.
“At this point, I’d give it a shot. I kissed a girl once, ya know?”
Molly grins back at me. We kissed on a dare. “It was a good kiss,” she insists.
“It was. Who knows, maybe at one point I’d even date a man and a woman. Right now I’m not even sure what the future looks like for me? Do I want to be in a committed relationship? Do I want to date around? We’ll find out, I guess.”
But at the same time, I know who I am. I’ve always wanted a marriage like Ruby and Caleb, and the more I think about it, the further that dream is slipping between my fingers.
“Either way, whatever you need to do, just know that I’m here to support you. Whether that be by being your wingwoman, or helping you with your business.”
My throat tightens. As I think more and more about my best friend, I realize what I need.
“How about we meet at A Whole Latte Love sometime this week and have a coffee. I would love that more than anything. I just want to feel normal, Molly. The way he’s treated me over the last year has made me feel anything but. ”
“Sure, I have a couple of meetings this week, but we can work out a time.”
“Yeah, doesn’t have to be long at all. I’m covered up in orders, and I lost time making them having to move locations and buying a bunch of new shit in order to fulfill all of this. The thing that pisses me off the most is that he knows he’s done all of this to me, and he doesn’t give a fuck.”
Molly frowns. “Oh honey, I’m sorry. He doesn’t, and I wish he did.”
Tears spill over the waterline of my eyes, and I reach up to swipe it away. “I thought he did at one point, and it’s hard coming to the realization he wasn’t the man I thought he was. But there might be freedom in that,” I whisper. “Freedom to let it all go.”
“That sounds amazing to me, Mags. Letting this go is all the freedom that you’ve needed, and I know that you’re going to take it by the balls, and make your life exactly what you’ve always wanted it to be.”
I just wish I could believe all of this is happening for a reason. Otherwise I’m the least lucky person I’ve ever met.