Chapter 12 #2
"What does mating mean to me?" I asked her, trying to keep the groan of my aggression out of my voice.
This wasn't the moment to beg her. I needed her to make the choice to claim me out of her own free will, not with any form of coercion, even the minor form of my expressed desperation to be inside of her.
"To your people," she said. "Do you mate casually, or with multiple people? Do you mate for life? Do you stay together with your mate to raise children? Does your kind have a taboo about being with aliens, or are such unions exoticized?"
Her questions startled me, and I realized that I should have asked her the same things already rather than diving right into the heart of the sun by letting her into my center and agreeing that she do what she wanted with me in the hopes that she would mate with me right then and there.
I didn't know too much about her species other than the medical data and the linguistic translation information that was provided.
Wherever the information had come from, they were hiding the origin of such a strange and fertile species, and I couldn't blame them.
There were several species that would be desperate to find partners due to issues caused by irresponsible genetic engineering or other restrictive issues with procreating within their own species.
There was even one group called the Norratar that had a symbiote that only allowed procreation with those the symbiote found compatible with the host.
"My kind often finds mates with members of smaller species," I said.
"Our centers are significantly smaller than the rest of our form, and when we are born, we start out quite small.
When we mate, it is normal to stay together for a long time, even for the rest of our lives.
Casual mating can happen, especially for those who are shell locked, as they will often seek out the companionship of vetted specialists who will accept payment to mate with them for the sole purpose of freeing them from the shell lock, but that can be risky as Calicium have been known to attempt to trap my kind that way. "
"Honey pots," she said.
"What?" I asked, confused by the term in the context of what I was saying. "Does your species produce a sugary substance?"
"No," she giggled as she pushed against my chest to sit up, putting pressure on my aching rod. I let out a gasp, and worry flashed across her face. "Do you need me to get off of you?"
"Stay," I said. "Please."
"Are you sure?" she asked. "This isn't too much teasing?"
"I delight in the torment," I said. "The unsatisfied ache of my desire to plunge inside of you will only make the moment you choose me that much more delicious. Now explain what you meant when you said, honey pots?"
"A honey pot is a bait in a trap," she said, then her eyes widened, and she looked at me with remorse. "Like me. They put me in front of you as the bait to carry the trap."
"We are not trapped," I said, keeping my tone soothing.
"We're hiding," she said, her hands closing into fists that lay clenched against my skin. "We're being hunted. It's my fault."
All I wanted was to take her in my arms, to wrap her up in my neurofilaments and hold her until she wasn't afraid anymore.
"It isn't your fault," I reminded her. "You just did what you needed to do to escape, to survive. You were honest with me as soon as you felt safe enough to be, and you have worked hard to help mitigate the damage. You've done everything right."
"Why are you so nice to me?" she asked, her eyes wide and glistening as she stared at me.
That was a question I didn't know how to answer right away, because there were too many ways to answer it.
"First, I was nice to you because you needed me," I said.
"You were like a wounded bird, and you just needed care and consideration to be able to spread your wings to fly.
There is so much beauty in taking care of other creatures, and caring for you was a joy that I gave myself.
Then you spoke up with innocence and honesty, and when faced with the trouble you had brought on board, you immediately worked hard to rectify it.
My care at that point stemmed from both gratitude and self-preservation.
You became my crew, and keeping the crew healthy and well-balanced is essential.
But working with you, spending time with you, and seeing your dedication and strength as an individual changed my intentions towards you.
When you reacted to me in a sexual manner, it opened up a realm of possibility I hadn't allowed myself to want.
I've spent so much time alone, afraid of the very thing you brought on board, afraid of being hunted and captured, that now that I'm forced to face that fear, I've realized that the risk of it has always been worth it, just because it has allowed me to fall in love with you. "
"You're in love with me?" she asked.
"I think I fell in love with you the moment you asked to come on board," I said. "I just couldn't allow myself to acknowledge it, because it wasn't an appropriate response to someone asking for help. Every part of yourself that you have opened up to show me has just made me love you even more."
"I love you too," she said, her hands unclenching as she lifted one of them to place on her chest. "Lyrien, you are the kindest, most considerate person I have ever known, and the thought of spending my life with anyone else seems like hell in comparison to the beautiful life you have teased me with.
I want to be with you, I want to stay with you. I want to be your mate."
"Then be my mate," I said, so full of love and need that my center felt like it could burst.
She gave a firm nod.
"We shouldn't be fucking around yet," she said, looking down at where her wet center pressed against me.
Then, with an abrupt movement, she lifted up off of me, swinging her leg over and moving back down to the floor.
It took everything in my power not to shout no at her, to demand that she climb up on me and take me the way I needed her to.
"I need to spend every moment of every day scouring your neurofilaments for the contamination.
I need to make sure you are in tip-top shape so that we can get out of this mess. "
I groaned, looking up away from her, holding in the words I wasn't sure I should restrain.
She wanted to be my mate, but she wasn't willing to mate with me yet.
Something had to be making her hesitate more than what she said out loud.
If I told her that mating would free me from the shell lock, she would still feel obligated and pressured.
Yes, it would aid our survival, but at the same time, what was survival if it meant that I ruined my chance at having her want to stay with me?
A member of my own species would break things off the moment there was even the slightest hint of coercion, even for such a good reason.
There was a chance her species wasn't the same as mine, but she had told me stories about her ancestors, and it seemed she would hold the same values.
Even if she didn't, could I trust my own logic in the matter?
I was so riled up that I couldn't trust my own choices when it came to her.
Then she leaned her naked body against the wall of my filaments so she could work on the spot, and I lost it.
The press of her soft body against me, the taste of subtle salt and musk of her skin, the way I could feel her heart beating, her pulse rapid and wild with excitement, even as she picked up the small container of cleaning supplies I had brought into the room and picked out a pad to wipe the spot clean.
She rubbed against me, in every sense of the word, and I couldn't take it anymore.
I slid a filament out from the wall, slid it up against her inner thigh, and pressed the tip of it against her wet slit, tasting the fragrant flavor of her arousal.
"Lyrien," she moaned, her entire body melting as I shifted the wall to grab her so I could touch her all over, feel her. I tweaked the mounds of her chest, ran a filament over the space between her legs, playing with the swollen nub there, teasing all parts of her.
"I need to fuck you," I growled as I pressed the tip of my filament into her, parting the soft folds of her lower lips. "Come back and mate with me."
"But I could get pregnant," she said, a tremor of fear in her voice as she looked over at my erect member.
She was flushed and aroused, her legs widening as she sank down into the press of my neurofilament.
Every signal she was giving me was a yes, with the exception of that slight remor and the concern she voiced.
A concern that made complete sense given what had been done to her.
That small note of fear pulled me back from the edge.
I pulled my neurofilaments away from her opening, releasing her slowly so she could find her footing.
I kept my neurofilaments in touch with her, stroking her back gently, one wrapped around her waist, wishing I could hold her with the arms I couldn't move.
My neurofilaments had so much sensation, but it was different than the touch of my center.
Each was delicious all on its own, but the warmth of her body against mine was one I relished.
"Do you not wish to have children?" I asked. "I would like them, but if it is a path forward in life that you do not wish to follow, I will be happy to go that way with you, though my preference would be to have them."
"I..." She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment, clearly dealing with a large emotion. "Thank you for being so honest, but I do want them. I've always wanted children."
"But not right now?" I asked.
"We're hiding from a hunter in an asteroid field," she said, her tone dry. "As much as I love you and want to be with you, I want to make sure that the world around us is safe to bring a child into before we take any risks at all in that regard."