Chapter 4 #3
His voice is a low, soothing murmur, his lids lowering as he holds my gaze. “If you don’t like anyone seeing me without a shirt on, I’ll make sure to keep it on.”
Oh god. I’m totally fucked.
“Lexi, the doctor will see you now.”
Damn it, Amy! Great damn timing.
Emmett pulls back, making me almost whimper at the loss, but not before he brushes his thumb against my lower lip.
My stomach warms, and slick pools between my legs. Well, that's new.
I’m perfuming, there’s no way I can hide it. He says nothing, though, taking my hand and helping me to my feet.
We head back to one of the exam rooms. “I’ll wait for you in the waiting room,” Emmett says, letting go of my hand.
“Wait!” I rush out, grabbing his hand back as panic spikes through me. “Stay. Please?”
He doesn’t hesitate, nodding his head. “Of course."
He must think I’m overreacting, being so nervous, but what he doesn’t know is that I have a good feeling. I know why I’ve been feeling dizzy lately. And there’s a lot more he doesn’t know that is going to piss him off when he finds out.
The doctor doesn’t take long to come in. “Hey, Lexi. How are you?” She smiles as she comes into the room.
“I’ve been better, I guess.”
“What brings you in today?”
Emmett answers for me. “She’s been feeling dizzy a lot over the past week. And despite what she keeps telling me, I don’t think it’s the heat or not eating enough.”
Dr. Herrera turns to me with concern. “Have you fainted?”
“No.” I shake my head. “Just light-headed, like a head rush every time I stand.”
“Every time?!” Emmett’s brows furrow as he glares a hole into the side of my head.
I keep my eyes on the doctor as my heart palpitates. “Are there any other symptoms? Vomiting, loss of appetite?”
Swallowing hard, I say. “Both.”
“Both?” Emmett whispers, sounding distraught. “Lexi, what the hell? Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because it’s not a big deal, okay? I thought maybe it was the flu.
” It’s a futile defense. We’re close enough that we tell each other just about everything.
No matter how big or small, even if it’s embarrassing.
Although I’ve been holding back on the latter a lot more lately, seeming to care more about what Emmett thinks of me.
“Do you think there’s a chance you might be pregnant?” the doctor asks and Emmett lets out a choked sound.
“Pregnant?” he whispers like a wounded puppy.
“No.” I shake my head. “No, I’m not pregnant."
“Are you sure?” she asks, looking at my chart.
“I’m on heat suppressants. So no.” My cheeks are burning now.
“You can still get pregnant while on suppressants. It’s just a lot harder.”
“I’m not pregnant,” I say louder. “That would require having sex and seeing how I’ve never had sex before, it’s impossible.”
What happened to me after I presented doesn’t count. That monster doesn’t get to take away my first.
Emmett just blinks at me. “Oh,” he whispers.
“Yeah, oh. So it’s not that,” I grumble, wishing the ground would open up and swallow me whole.
“We can run a few tests, but I think we both know that if we rule out pregnancy, what it really is.” She gives me a sympathetic look.
“You do?” Emmett asks. “What is it then?”
The doctor looks between me and Emmett then back to me. “Do you want him here for this conversation?”
I want to say no. Because then I can continue to put on this mask of bravery and ignore it, but I can’t bring myself to let him go.
Shaking my head, I take Emmett’s hand in mine and try not to cry.
“He can stay,” I whisper.
She nods. “I think it’s time you went off your heat suppressants.”
And there it is. The answer I was dreading.
“Yeah.” I nod. “I think so too.”
“If you continue to take them, I fear your symptoms will only worsen. Suppressants can have long-term effects on the body. They’re not meant to be a permanent fix.”
“I know.” I dig my nails into my palm to keep myself from shaking.
“Everything will be okay.” She tries to give me a reassuring smile. “Anything you need, we’ll be able to help with.”
“Okay.” I nod, a numbness starting to settle over me.
The doctor draws blood and checks my vitals before sending me on my way.
Emmett doesn’t say anything as he takes my hand in his and guides me out of the room.
I’m trying to hold it together as tears blur my vision, but I’m shaking and choking on a sob by the time we reach the door.
I feel Emmett’s eyes on me, and I nearly break. Then he’s gathering me in his arms and taking me to his truck.
As I try to hold myself together, I bury my face into his neck, my grip on him probably uncomfortable, but he doesn’t seem to mind.
When he opens the passenger door, he doesn’t put me down but climbs in with me in his arms and closes the door.
He wraps his arms around me, cradling the back of my head, and murmurs. “It’s okay to break, Lexi. It’s just you and me. You’re safe.”
A sob rips through me, and I cling to him with every fiber of my being as I fall apart, all my fears coming to the surface.
Emmett and I know every single thing about each other’s pasts. Once we started getting comfortable together, we’d drink and spill every traumatic thing.
He knows about the foster home, about being taken, being held at Gideon’s place for years. About how we were forced to be shaped into these perfect Omegas to be sold off like we were animals.
He’s been witness to the times I’d wake up in a cold sweat, screaming as I relived the horrors of my past.
He knows why I went on suppressants in the first place, petrified of going into heat and being put into a vulnerable situation. Of being used, being forced.
Maybe it’s foolish of me to still be scared after all these years. The fact is, I am.
He’s never judged me or made me feel like it’s ridiculous.
Emmett holds me like I’m something precious, rocking me in his lap as he murmurs reassuring words.
Before, I knew I’d be fine on my own as long as I needed to be. I was getting by. Surviving.
Then Emmett came into my life and became my whole world. I went from surviving to living. From getting by, to waking up every day with excitement, knowing I’d get to see him.
“You’re going to be okay, Lexi. No one will hurt you again. I promise you that. You have me. And I’d never let anyone get close enough to harm you. You will be okay because I’ll make sure of it. We’ll get through it. You and me. Just like always.”
My sobs turn to hiccups, my body growing weak with exhaustion.
When I stop crying, we just sit there for a little while longer before Emmett slides over to the driver's side, me still in his lap.
“What are you doing?” My voice cracks from crying.
“I’m taking you home.” He pushes his seat back, giving himself more room.
“You can’t drive with me in your lap,” I protest.
“Yeah?” he asks, starting the truck up. “And who’s going to stop me, Peaches?” he chuckles. “You’re the motherfucking mayor of this town. No one will blink an eye.”
I’m not really; the six of us are equals in Widows Peak. Still, in this scary moment, he’s the sunshine that peeks through the clouds, letting me know that things aren’t completely lost.
I don’t argue, burying my face back into his neck, breathing his scent in deeply, letting it cloak me like a safety blanket.
He’s my lifeline, and I fear that if I let him go, I’m going to drift away forever.